30 Aug 2018 A Long Time Ago (1990’s) and Hold On (Wilson Phillips)

Hello to you.  Doesn’t it seem like 1990 was such a long time ago?!  A whopping 28 years!  So much has happened for those of us that have been here all that time.  Today I had a pity party for myself.  Sometimes it’s good to cry it out, bitch, whine and moan a bit.   To point at the piles of dog poop in the backyard and make self comparisons…”yeah that one is definitely me today.”   My poor backyard that has to listen to this!  I had a bird walk by me while I was sitting out back tonight blubbering.  It stopped and just stared at me with that”what is your problem” look.  Kept on walking.  Anyways, I hope this finds you well.  If you are feeling a bit low too, just do the best you can.  Remember, it’s inside work!

Nineteen ninety = 173

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Billboard_Year-End_Hot_100_singles_of_1990

Hold on = 68  by Wilson Phillips = 193 Number One = 107 = 368  (I was born in 1968 – go figure!  Perfect song and message for me today!)

Wilson Phillips – Hold On

Hold On

I know there’s pain
Why do lock yourself up in these chains?
No one can change your life except for you
Don’t ever let anyone step all over you
Just open your heart and your mind
Is it really fair to feel this way inside?

Some day somebody’s gonna make you want to
Turn around and say goodbye
Until then baby are you going to let them
Hold you down and make you cry
Don’t you know?
Don’t you know things can change
Things’ll go your way
If you hold on for one more day
Can you hold on for one more day
Things’ll go your way
Hold on for one more day

You could sustain
Or are you comfortable with the pain?
You’ve got no one to blame for your unhappiness
You got yourself into your own mess
Lettin’ your worries pass you by
Don’t you think it’s worth your time
To change your mind?

Some day somebody’s gonna make you want to
Turn around and say goodbye
Until then baby are you going to let them
Hold you down and make you cry
Don’t you know?
Don’t you know things can change
Things’ll go your way
If you hold on for one more day
Can you hold on for one more day
Things’ll go your way
Hold on for one more day

I know that there is pain
But you hold on for one more day and
Break free the chains
Yeah I know that there is pain
But you hold on for one more day and you
Break free, break from the chains

Some day somebody’s gonna make you want to
Turn around and say goodbye
Until then baby are you going to let them
Hold you down and make you cry
Don’t you know?
Don’t you know things can change
Things’ll go your way
If you hold on for one more day yeah
If you hold on

Don’t you know things can change
Things’ll go your way
If you hold on for one more day,
If you hold on
Can you hold on
Hold on baby
Won’t you tell me now
Hold on for one more day ‘Cause
It’s gonna go your way

Don’t you know things can change
Things’ll go your way
If you hold on for one more day
Can’t you change it this time

Make up your mind
Hold on
Hold on
Baby hold on

Songwriters: Carnie Wilson,Chynna Phillips,Glen Ballard
© Universal Music Publishing Group
For non-commercial use only.
Data from: LyricFind

 

 

 

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8 Aug 2018 Eye of God Nebula returns and fishing on Mars (drawing)

Image result for eye of god nebula nasa

Numbers in the Words:

https://www.gematrix.org

Nebula = 55/10/1

Helix = 58/13/4/2/1

Hubble = 50/5 divided by 2 = 2.5 = 7 divided by 2 = 3.5 = 8/4/2/1

Mars = 51/6/3 cycle

Fishing = 72/9 cycle

Telescope = 100/1

Drink = 56/11/2/1

Cup = 40/4/2/1

Glass = 58/13/4/2/1

Goblet = 61/7 divided by 2 = 3.5 = 8/4/2/1

Coffee = 40/4/2/1

Tea = 26/8/4/2/1

Beer = 30/3 cycle

Wine = 51/6/3 cycle

Liquor = 92/11/2/1

Drunk = 68/14/5 divided by 2 = 2.5 = 7 divided by 2 = 3.5 = 8/4/2/1 (interesting starting number is last two of year I was born and I’ve had problems with alcohol!)

Alcohol = 66/12/3 cycle

Oil = 36/9 cycle

Can tell some things have got into my subconscious.  Lots of dreams lately.  This morning I woke up after a disturbing dream.  It was of seeing a man who had been shot, seeing flashing red lights and then  hearing a machine gun just firing over and over without ceasing.  It was like someone was trying to make sure whoever the shot man was would stay dead.  Kyle has been watching an anime that is pretty violent without me,  it may have crept into my dreams.

This was interesting to me.  I didn’t know about some of the things in this article and they are disturbing.  I recommend reading the entire article.

http://greennews.ie/opinion-oil-drilling-last-thing-people-cork-need/ – Barryroe oil drilling the last thing the people of Cork need

Excerpt of information I didn’t know about the damage seismic exploration for offshore drilling does to marine life:

Do the benefits outweigh the risks? Concerns have been raised surrounding the impact of offshore drilling on the fishing community. A spill could severely damage fishing stocks, an industry which provides strong employment and profit to Ireland.

Even seismic exploration, carried out before drilling, is hugely damaging. Seismic exploration can cause disorientation and internal bleeding in whales, dolphins and porpoises for distances of up to 100 miles.

More significant than this is new evidence from leading science journal Nature that shows a single exploratory blast kills 100 per cent of zooplankton larvae and 64 per cent of adult krill within at least 0.7 miles. These organisms are the basis of the marine food chain and without them there are no fish to catch.

In addition to this, however damaging drilling may be to the marine environment, oil spills are even worse. Excavating oil wells releases toxic chemicals such benzene, arsenic, radioactive pollutants, and metals such as mercury and lead that can accumulate in our seafood supply.

The Irish seafood Industry provides 11,000 jobs and the tourism industry employs 220,000 people, so let’s not forget what is at stake here. After the 2010 BP oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico, the Gulf coastal tourism industry lost about $22.7 billion, and the area’s commercial fishing industry lost $247 million.

 

24 July 2018 Finished painting, chalk drawings (Kate’s bracelets – dream) and Orgone

23 July 2018 – Kyle’s painting is finished! I am so pleased he did this with me.  Cried happy tears a couple of times yesterday lol.  There is so much going on!  There are colors of the Irish flag (he’s 41% Irish), dragon scales, blue blood (royal bloodlines on his Mom’s side), our wedding colors of black and white, hearts, purple of unity.  He is calling it Times Heart. 

23 July 2018 – This one is about how the water on the ground goes back up in the sky.  The cycle of water.

23 July 2018 – This one is inspired by me thinking about being out in my swim suite in the pouring rain.  I was trying to actively visualize relief from this drought!! 

18 1 9 14

R A I N = 42/6/3 cycle (life, death, rebirth) – of course!

23 July 2018 – The pencil and pen drawing I did so I have a tangible reference. I’m thinking this would be a neat painting to do.

23 July 2018 – Side by side. You can probably see why I like chalk – it’s more forgiving and softer.

23 July 2018 – This drawing has cycles, the water table and solar flare going on. When I start drawing stuff like this I just put it on the slab. My imagination is not entirely my own.

23 July 2018 – This morning I realized the side ways canoe of space ship design correlated to a dream I had just before waking this morning!  I had a dream about a little girl named Kate who looked a bit like Eleven from Stranger Things.  She was working on some healing bracelets like ones I’ve really made before out of copper wire.  The metal was like copper but a more advanced alloy.  I can remember seeing her face on a large computer tablet.  She was working with a young man who I shook hands with.  I had made three separate bracelets of my own.  Just before I woke up he showed me a quarter turn that was needed to put them into one bracelet that would work like the one’s Kate was working on.  The bracelet completed look like the center part of this drawing.

23 July 2018 – Sometimes I just draw these people together. When I finished I heard “Th” so I added it. Kind of like “9th” I guess?

24 July 2018 – I found this in the yard yesterday when I was walking around. It’s one of the first pieces of orgonite I made. I had made it into a pendant for a time but it was too heavy. I find myself wondering what else am I going to find I put in the yard?! https://saymber.com/2015/06/11/11-june-2015-wilhelm-reich-and-orgonomy-by-ola-raknes-its-in-the-structure/

15 18 7 15 14 5

O R G O N E = 74/11/2/1

https://orgonomicscience.org/  – this is a link to The Institute For Orgonomic Science which is dedicated to the work of Dr. Wilhelm Reich which included research to try to treat and cure cancer.

Reich now turned to exploring micro-organisms, to see if the energy measured in humans could also be detected on the cellular level. By this point Reich had left the university for a well-funded private laboratory. He first published the results of his experiments in “Dialectical Materialism in Life-Research. Report on the Bion Experiments” (1937). This was followed by the book, Die Bione – Zur Entstehung des vegetativen Lebens (The Bions: On the Origin of Vegetative Life)  (1938).

Briefly, bions are microscopic vesicles, seen as transitional entities between the non-living and the living; these vesicles move in ways that cannot be explained by purely mechanical movement (Brownian movement); they form more readily if the solution is heated in a way that should kill any spores or “air germs”; and they are often seen to have a blue edge to them–those with the strongest electrical charge have the greatest motility, pulsation and bluish color. Bions prepared under sterile conditions with a strong electrical charge could also be successfully sub-cultured.

This description of bions is in no way complete, but should give the reader a rudimentary idea of their nature. Their discovery played a central role in Reich’s realization that the energy phenomenon he was observing was not electricity as conventionally understood, but a distinct biological energy, which he came to call orgone energy in 1939.

8 5 1 12 9 14 7

H E A L I N G = 56/11/2/1

Drawing based on dream I had 18 Jan 2006

8 July 2018 Options (Drawing) and True Facts About The Octopus (video)

7 July 2018 – Strange drawing I did and the title “options” came to me afterwards.

As I get older, I realize that the thing I value the most is good-heartedness.
Alice Walker

Hello to you in your here and now.  How are you doing?  I hope this finds you well.  I’m still waking up.  I am finally feeling like I’ve got some rest but still not got my “Sim Energy Bar” completely back to full lool.  For those who have played or have seen the Sims videogame, you know what I’m talking about!

Dreams were happening all night long but none that have prompted me to get up and write them down like I normally do.  This isn’t necessarily a bad thing as then I stay in bed and get more sleep!  The only thing I remember from last nights journeys was a ghostly, transparent white face in one of them.

The drawing I’m sharing today is strange.  Let me try to explain what it means to me.

Source Internet: jack-storms-glass-cube

It started out being like a jewelry design.  Then it became something Jack Storms the glass carver/artist (https://jackstorms.com/) might make with the boxes on top.  Then the thought of hot boxes from space falling in the water and landing on a giant octopus came to my mind.  Finally, when I sat back and really looked at this mess of imagery, it looked like something happening to the earth.  The eye of the octopus began to look like the earth to me.  The gray line and three planets to the right came after that….hence “options.”   What are our options as a planet should something really big hit it?  My imagination run amok loool.

My husband told me about this Meme this morning and it made me laugh especially since we are tackling laundry this morning!

See the source image

10 5 4 9

J E D I = 28/10/1

12 1 21 14 4 18 25

L A U N D R Y = 95/14/5 divided by 2 = 2.5 = 7 divided by 2 = 3.5 = 8/4/2/1

15 3 20 15 16 21 19

O C T O P U S = 109/10/1

3 12 1 13

C L A M = 29/11/2/1

15 16 20 9 15 14

O P T I O N = 89/17/6/3 cycle (makes sense, when you are making choices or considering options it would be a cycle)

This video surprised me.  I thought it was just going to be another nature video until I started listening to the narrator!  Zomg I found it hilarious and informative at the same time.  He sounds like a variation of Morgan Freeman to me.  He managed to bridge the gap between humor and learning….”Clams are dumb.”  Never considered the intelligence of a clam before!

True Facts About The Octopus

I hope you have a lovely day.  Positive vibes through the wires!

5 July 2018 Mermaid (drawing) and I Am Of The Water (poem)

5 July 2018 – I got around to drawing a mermaid for my friend Cindy this afternoon. Not too bad!

I Am Of The Water – Jackie

All my being flows with the currents swift

Twisting and turning

Fellow beings of the waters give my red tendrils a lift

My song tip toes across the peaks of the waves to the shore

I sit on the rocky cliffs

Taking in the endless rippling horizon I adore

I am of the water, my soul is the sea

Just close your eyes and dream

And you will find me…..

 

13 5 18 13 1 9 4

M E R M A I D = 63/9 cycle – interesting!

23 1 20 5 18

W A T E R = 67/13/4/2/1

12 June 2018 Surrealism – A Feeling Too

Hello to you.  How are you doing in your here and now?  I’m feeling like a word that isn’t normally attributed to a state of being, surrealism.   Surrealist art is a lot like my dreams…my life lately.  A vast canvas covered with unrelated images that when strung together somehow make sense.  The world we are sharing right now is very surreal to me most of the time.  So many things that make sense and so many more that don’t all going on at once.  Such a mess!

On the one hand we have President Trump and Kim Jong Un shaking hands – which like Dennis Rodman I’m very pleased about and hope it was genuine (https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/world/trump-kim-summit-trump-says-us-will-end-its-%E2%80%98war-games%E2%80%99-with-south-korea/ar-AAyx0hn?OCID=ansmsnnews11)  and on the other we have ancient trees dying in Africa possibly because of climate change (https://www.popsci.com/baobab-tree-climate-change).  So many extremes all vying for time on the world stage.  No wonder so many people are bipolar and have ADD nowadays!  Up!  Down!  Look here!  Now there!  Forget you saw or heard that!  Now for something completely different!

19 21 18 18 5 1 12 9 19 13

S U R R E A L I S M = 135/9 divided by 2 = 4.5 = 9 cycle – makes sense this sort of thing would be a cycle sort of word!

http://www.theartstory.org/movement-surrealism.htm – good article about this art movement actually is if your curious

Exploring Surrealism with Peter Capaldi | Unlock Art – I found this and had to share.  Peter explaining this art form makes it a little more wonderful to learn about.

 

My chalk drawings from the past couple of days are fading and nothing has come to me to put to the slab or paper.  My thoughts have been murky.  My dreams have been fluid and very little to hold on to and write down in my dream journal.   I am not worried.  I need this rest period.  The veil will open.  The curtains will part and show me things to share.  For now it’s sleep, words, numbers, concepts and may a random picture or two.

Surreal – by Jackie

“Surreal is the distance between the grass and the dew

The random points of light when assembled

That make me and you

Am I walking or am I gliding

In the stitches of space

Or am I just a particle hiding…..”

 

I painted this back in April of this year. Yes, that sparkle is fabric paint I included lol. The purple wisps were inspired by the movie The Arrival. One of the weird images to come out of my “long walk” recently. I’m almost ready to bust out one of the blank canvas we bought and see what comes.

Hugs and positive vibes through the wires!

11 June 2018 Expectations and Afternoon Dreams

11 June 2018 – Lately I’ve been really tired a lot and my mind has been lacking clarity. I think it’s a combination of recovering from almost two months of next to no sleep and all that “stuff” that was going on. It’s probably the unrelenting heat too. I don’t do real well with excessive heat. Texas isn’t for the faint of heart! I don’t think I’ll ever really get used to heat that sucks all the moisture out of the soil and the air! Probably why the ants are doing what they are doing. Anyhew….I decided to break into the new box of chalks from my friend. Turns out some of them have glitter flecks. I wasn’t sure about that until I saw the sparkle happen. The green square on the left has a flash of glitter light on it lol.

Hello to you.  How are you?  I hope you’ve been having a good day.  I got a letter from my Mom today and it was wonderful to hear from her.  We pen pals have worked out an agreement that we will write when we feel like it and there is no obligations to immediately write back.  My Mom and I have both been learning a lot the past few years about doing things for others and expecting things of them in return.  If you are only doing things to get some kind of response and not just because you want to do it, then may be you aren’t doing it for the right reasons.  Do what you do because you genuinely want to and without expectations. 

“Expectation is the seed of resentment”

Like this blog for instance.  Again and again my  husband reminds me and I have to remind me that I am blogging for me first.  This is a tool in my sanity toolkit – repeal of net neutrality be damned lol (http://thehill.com/policy/technology/391698-what-the-repeal-of-net-neutrality-rules-means).  Writing, art and photography are a couple of the main ways I use to help me sort through and make sense of my world.

Anyhew!

I took a much needed nap this afternoon with my dream traveling buddy Link and had a couple dreams.  The first one was short, one of those flash dreams I have a lot and very creepy!  There was a phrase, “Righteous in the elevator” associated with two very strange men.  These men were in an elevator that had a cross burned into the wall and one of them pointed to it and said something like, “taken care of.”  Then I dreamt about a black man working at a gas station.  I was talking to him and telling him I was worried about him trying to take care of inside and outside customers at the same time.  Then some man pulled out a guitar and we were worried it was a gun instead.

Words in Numbers:

18 9 7 8 20 5 15 21 19

R I G H T E O U S = 122/5 divided by 2 = 2.5 = 7 divided by 2 = 3.5 = 8/4/2/1

(interesting to note RIGHT = 62/8/4/2/1)

14 5 21 20 18 1 12 9 20 25

N E U T R A L I T Y = 145/10/1

(interesting to note NEUTRAL is 91/10/1)

5 24 16 5 3 20 1 20 9 15 14

E X P E C T A T I O N = 132/6 divided by 2 = 3 divided by 2 = 1.5 = 6 divided by 2 = 3 cycle

(interesting to note EXPECT = 73/10/1)

18 5 19 5 14 20 13 5 14 20

R E S E N T M E N T = 133/7 divided by 2 = 3.5 – 8/4/2/1

(interesting to note just RESENT = 81/9 divided by 2 = 4.5 = 9 cycle)

18 May 2018 Collage and Low Tide

Hello to you.  I hope this finds you well.  I’ve been very tired the past couple of days and just wanting to sleep.  Kyle thinks it’s probably me just coming down from the past few months of an extreme high.  He’s probably right.  The cycles are very taxing for me and the older I get, the more difficult they can be.  So my little travel buddy Link and I just have been resting as we can and trying to restore the ol’ battery.   My life can be  like the ocean currents with the high and low tides.

The drawing today is a collage of stuff I’ve been watching and thinking about lately…all just floating out there in the collective conscious space.

I am sad to see so many more shootings in this country, the latest in Sante Fe Texas….a 17 year old kid too! (http://abc13.com/10-dead-10-injured-in-shooting-at-santa-fe-high-school/3490869/)!  What is sad for me is these shootings are taking place in homes and schools.  Our kids are supposed to be safe in their homes and at school and they aren’t.  Even with all the new security and open carry laws, it’s just not getting much better.  We keep putting band-aids on top of what the real problems are like allowing so many troubled people access to a tool they can use in an act of passion (not self defense).  A tool they end up using to do something they can’t ever take back.  It’s not just the victims and their families that suffer either, it’s all of us! It is essentially an act of terrorism to go into a public place and shoot people.  Why these types of shootings are not treated at as an act of terrorism I don’t know but that’s what it is.  Now you have a whole bunch of people who are afraid to send their kids to school and go out into public places again.  Every time this kind of shooting happens in this country, it is an act of terrorism.   

“I walked through the cosmos today….all I had to do was stand still and dream……”

13 9 14 4

M I N D = 40

16 5 1 3 5

P E A C E = 30 (3 cycle)

18 5 4

R E D = 29 (9 cycle)

8 5 1 22 5 14

H E A V E N = 55

1 14 7 5 12

A N G E L = 39 (3 cycle)

8 5 12 12

H E L L = 37

4 5 13 15 14

D E M O N = 51 (3 cycle)

18 1 4 9 15

R A D I O = 47

4 5 13 15 3 18 1 20

D E M O C R A T = 79

18 5 16 21 2 12 9 3 1 14

R E P U B L I C A N = 101

3 8 9 12 4

C H I L D = 36 (9 cycle)

19 20 1 18

S T A R = 58

3 15 19 13 15 19

C O S M O S = 84 (3 cycle)

20 5 18 18 15 18 9 19 13

T E R R O R I S M = 135 (9 cycle)

7 21 14

G U N = 42 (3 cycle)

8 1 20 5

H A T E = 34

20 5 23 1 19

T E X A S = 68

17 May 2018 Drawing and Dream

Hello to you.  Hope this finds you well today wherever and whenever you are tuning in from.  Feeling gratitude today.  I had a weird dream last night/this morning.  It was about some hotel/hospital where people were going to get plastic surgery.  I saw Prince there and it was like his face was stitched on and it was a white version of himself.  This was the case of many of the people I saw there.  I think this dream was triggered by the CNN show we watched last night, “Video Killed The Radio Star.”  Since it was from the 80’s, they of course mentioned artists like Prince, Michael Jackson and Whitney Houston.  They talked about how difficult it had been for musical artists of color to break through on MTV.  They have a clip of an interview where David Bowie asked one of the MTV VJ’s why there were so few videos with black artists and he got a bullshit answer.  You could tell by how David responded that he wasn’t falling for it!

David Bowie Criticizes MTV for Not Playing Videos by Black Artists | MTV News

It made my heart ache to think on how many artists I knew and loved from the 80’s like Prince that are no longer here with us!  It’s a tough gig to choose to be a performing artist!  I miss them and am grateful for their contributions to such a big part of my developmental years.

16 18 9 14 3 5

P R I N C E = 65

3 1 20

C A T = 24 (3 cycle)

16 21 18 16 12 5

P U R P L E = 88

5 25 5

E Y E  = 35

2 9 18 4

B I R D = 33 (3 cycle)

16 12 1 19 20 9 3    19 21 18 7 5 18 25

P L A S T I C  (80)      S U R G E R Y (113) = 193

Prince – When Doves Cry (Official Music Video)

Prince – Thieves In The Temple (Official Music Video)

 

14 May 2018 Random

Hello to you.  It’s Monday again.  Hope that wherever and whenever you are is good.  I am feeling that surreal and random feeling this morning.  Had to have Kyle give me a kiss on the walk just to make sure it was real lol.  Have you ever had moments in your life where you need someone to touch you so you know you are really here?  For Kyle sometimes it’s a feeling like your transparent, not solid.  I’m so grateful to even have the luxury of that feeling.

A bunch of words with numbers today.  It’s so addictive for me lol.  I will look up the value of a word and then find a whole bunch of other great words on the same page!  My Aunt asked me if this was like coding.  I said I guess you could look at it like that.  For me it’s just been like having a conversation with the past.  Sometimes when I see the value of a word I will chuckle out loud to myself.  It’s kind of like being privy to an inside joke or something.  I know….”nerd” but it’s fun for me and stimulates my brain like puzzles do for other people.

I told my Aunt this morning what is interesting for me is finding the numeric value of words matching or further defining the actual definition or meaning of a word.  My favorite example is TREE, which is 48, which is 12, which is 3, which cycles back to 3.  When I think of the life cycle of a tree, I think of life, death and rebirth!

14 May 2018 – moth visitor Kyle found by our front door this morning! So lovely.

13 15 20 8

M O T H = 56

20 1 3 15

T A C O = 39 (3 cycle)

3 15 6 6 5 5

C O F F E E = 40

3 15 15 11 9 5

C O O K I E = 58

22 9 4 5 15   7 1 13 5

V I D E O      G A M E = 81 (9 cycle)

2 15 15 11

B O O K = 43

16 12 1 25

P L A Y = 54 (9 cycle)

18 5 1 4

R E A D = 28

18 15 25 1 12

R O Y A L = 71

18 15 19 5

R O S E = 57 (3 cycle)

13 15 22 9 5

M O V I E = 64

20 5 12 5 22 9 19 9 15 14

T E L E V I S I O N = 130

20 5 12 5 16 8 15 14 5

T E L E P H O N E = 100

23 1 20 3 8

3 15 13 16 21 20 5 18

C O M P U T E R = 111 (3 cycle)

23 1 20 3 8

W A T C H = 55

8 5 1 18

H E A R = 32

8 5 1 18 20

H E A R T = 52

12 9 19 20 5 14

L I S T E N = 79

18 1 14 4 15 13

R A N D O M = 65

3 8 1 15 19

C H A O S = 46

13 5 19 19 25

M E S S Y = 81 (9 cycle – had to chuckle about this one! Messes can be a vicious cycle!)

13 5 19 19 1 7  5

M E S S A G E = 69 (3 cycle)