Category: history

11 March 2022 Water and Power Grids

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Health, history, Home, human rights, In the News, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Money, Nature, Politics and Government, Science (Keshe Foundation and other innovations), Social media, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Check out 11 March 2022 Friday chat https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1422335182

Check out 11 March 2022 Friday chat https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1422344815

(For some reason I got interrupted mid-stream so it’s in two parts)

Hello to you. How are you today? I’ll start with the message from A Woman’s Spirit. It was really good. It was about how when we remove addicting substances or other obstructions we are able to get to know ourselves better.

“We don’t necessarily like every aspect of who we are now. And most of us loathe who we used to be. But having the tools to peel away the layers of denial about the past and having the willingness to face our feelings are paramount to becoming who we’d rather be. What we’re getting to, what’s deep in our soul, is the person God has hoped would emerge all along. Having the chance to know our soul is a profoundly important gift. Let’s gently unwrap it.”

On my Twitch Stream today my focus was on the crisis I see with our global water supply. Why does it seem like clouds don’t form on their own anymore? I lived in a state that heavily relied on cloud seeding to keep up with increased demands for water and it’s seeming to be the same here in Idaho. I think the water that comes isn’t natural water and I wonder if it’s contributing to why we have so many forest fires . I wonder if the water that falls from these manufactured clouds isn’t making vegetation more flammable. I remember seeing silver droplets on the leaves of my trees back in Texas after cloud seeding flights. I believe it’s all connected. We rely on water for just about everything we use just day to day. To think our planet can’t seem to generate “natural” water like it once did is very concerning to me.

The other thing I touched on is the potential train wreck I’m seeing ahead with the conversion to electric vehicles. I think the cart has been put in front of the horse about this. Can the current power grid support the massive increase of demand that will come with billions of electric vehicles without bankrupting most consumers with high electric bills? The smart thing to do would be to make sure we have sustainable power generation modalities to keep up with the increased demand. The back up to most alternative power generating modalities is usually gas. Nuclear power with proper safety procedures in place and proper facility maintenance is probably the near term answer. If the US would recycle fuel cells that would be good too. I just am seeing things moving really fast to get people into electric cars but the infrastructure needed to support it doesn’t seem to exist right now. I think ultimately consumers are really going to be footing a big expense. Seems to be that way no matter what we do doesn’t it?!!

Anyhew….I hope some visionaries are thinking about these things. It seems like so many people that control what makes our world go are using crisis management. Doing things and asking for forgiveness later.

9 March 2022 Finding the Positive in Others and Ourselves

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, history, human rights, In the News, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Money, Politics and Government, Social media, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Check out 9 March 2022 Wednesday chat https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1420371766

Hello to you. I hope this finds you well. There was a great message in A Woman’s Spirit today about how if we can find positive attributes in other people we can find the positive within ourselves. What I learned from reading works by Shakti Gawain is that people are mirrors of ourselves both good and bad. If we don’t like someone or something chances are it’s because we are seeing a part of ourselves we don’t like or we were like that but have moved beyond it. I am trying to do this practice when I look at what’s going on with Putin. What is his existence trying to teach us? I believe ultimately God has the final say with all of this that is going on. What is God trying to teach us right now? What are we supposed to be learning? I think about bullies beating up the little kids on the block. How long do the spectators allow the bullying to go on? God is in charge- that’s what I feel anyways. I can’t help but think of what happened in A Christmas Story…..is “Ralphie” going to snap?

A Woman’s Spirit messages:

“Believe the best in yourself. Then it is easier to believe the best in others.”-Mardy Kopischke

“The contribution I can make today is really so easy. All I need to do is focus on a positive quality not only in someone else but also in myself. “

Todays psalm really resonated with the times we are facing:

Psalm 49[a]

For the director of music. Of the Sons of Korah. A psalm.

1 Hear(A) this, all you peoples;(B)
    listen, all who live in this world,(C)
2 both low and high,(D)
    rich and poor alike:
3 My mouth will speak words of wisdom;(E)
    the meditation of my heart will give you understanding.(F)
4 I will turn my ear to a proverb;(G)
    with the harp(H) I will expound my riddle:(I)

5 Why should I fear(J) when evil days come,
    when wicked deceivers surround me—
6 those who trust in their wealth(K)
    and boast(L) of their great riches?(M)
7 No one can redeem the life of another
    or give to God a ransom for them—
8 the ransom(N) for a life is costly,
    no payment is ever enough—(O)
9 so that they should live on(P) forever
    and not see decay.(Q)
10 For all can see that the wise die,(R)
    that the foolish and the senseless(S)also perish,
    leaving their wealth(T) to others.(U)
11 Their tombs(V) will remain their houses[b]forever,
    their dwellings for endless generations,(W)
    though they had[c] named(X) lands after themselves.

12 People, despite their wealth, do not endure;(Y)
    they are like the beasts that perish.(Z)

13 This is the fate of those who trust in themselves,(AA)
    and of their followers, who approve their sayings.[d]
14 They are like sheep and are destined(AB)to die;(AC)
    death will be their shepherd
    (but the upright will prevail(AD) over them in the morning).
Their forms will decay in the grave,
    far from their princely mansions.
15 But God will redeem me from the realm of the dead;(AE)
    he will surely take me to himself.(AF)
16 Do not be overawed when others grow rich,
    when the splendor of their houses increases;
17 for they will take nothing(AG) with them when they die,
    their splendor will not descend with them.(AH)
18 Though while they live they count themselves blessed—(AI)
    and people praise you when you prosper—
19 they will join those who have gone before them,(AJ)
    who will never again see the light(AK)of life.

20 People who have wealth but lack understanding(AL)
are like the beasts that perish.(AM)

8 March 2022 Learning Lessons

by saymber, posted in Animal Rights, Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, drawing, history, human rights, In the News, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Nature, Science (Keshe Foundation and other innovations), Spirituality and Religion, technology, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Check out 8 March 2022 Tuesday chat https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1419331338

Some need extra help

Hello to you! How are you doing today? It’s cloudy here this morning. I hope we get some rain we really need it. We are having a drought here in Idaho.

Todays message in A Woman’s Spirit talks about letting other people learn their own lessons. I have always been the kind of person that has trouble just staying on my own side of the street and not trying to go over and clean another persons. For example I used to have a problem with feeling like I had to pick up trash. It was a very strong compulsion until it really sunk in that by picking up after people I was just enabling their behavior. There is so much we do in this world that we think is helping to solve a problem but really is just enabling undesirable behaviors. I saw it with the Animal Shelter back in Alvarado. People would dump their dogs and cats. The shelter would pick them up and the shelter would get full. The shelter would then have to take extreme measures to try and get the animals adopted, get emptied out and the whole cycle would start all over. People just kept getting away with being irresponsible. I see so much of that in its various forms. If there is no consequences people just keep doing things that are not ok. The other day I saw this article about Boyan Slats Ocean Cleanup operation: https://www.vox.com/platform/amp/down-to-earth/22949475/ocean-plastic-pollution-cleanup and it was an interesting perspective about what operations like Boyans do. More needs to be done to make companies and people responsible for the mess they are making. There are so many flaws with the creation of plastics and other things that end up in landfills and our waterways. It’s like no one thinks about the life cycle of their products – environmental impact- before they make things. I started doing that and I don’t make things like I used to….and it’s ok.

A Woman’s Spirit message:

“Change comes about when we stop trying to shape up the other person and begin to observe patterns and find new options for our own behavior.” – Harriet Lerner

“Accepting that we can’t change someone else affects every detail of our lives. Many of us have spent years frustrated, even frantic at times, trying to control the actions and opinions of others.”

This psalm 46 really resonated – a power ballad of words for what’s going on these days:

Psalm 46New International Version

Psalm 46[a]

For the director of music. Of the Sons of Korah. According to alamoth.[b] A song.

1 God is our refuge(A) and strength,(B)
    an ever-present(C) help(D) in trouble.(E)
2 Therefore we will not fear,(F) though the earth give way(G)
    and the mountains fall(H) into the heart of the sea,(I)
3 though its waters roar(J) and foam(K)
    and the mountains quake(L) with their surging.[c]

4 There is a river(M) whose streams(N)make glad the city of God,(O)
    the holy place where the Most High(P)dwells.(Q)
5 God is within her,(R) she will not fall;(S)
    God will help(T) her at break of day.
6 Nations(U) are in uproar,(V) kingdoms(W)fall;
    he lifts his voice,(X) the earth melts.(Y)

7 The Lord Almighty(Z) is with us;(AA)
    the God of Jacob(AB) is our fortress.(AC)

8 Come and see what the Lord has done,(AD)
    the desolations(AE) he has brought on the earth.
9 He makes wars(AF) cease
    to the ends of the earth.
He breaks the bow(AG) and shatters the spear;
    he burns the shields[d] with fire.(AH)
10 He says, “Be still, and know that I am God;(AI)
    I will be exalted(AJ) among the nations,
    I will be exalted in the earth.”

11 The Lord Almighty is with us;
the God of Jacob(AK) is our fortress.(AL)

6 March 2022 Sunday

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Health, history, Home, human rights, In the News, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Check out 6 March 2022 Sunday chat https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1417332045

Windy but sunny Sunday

Hello to you. How has your weekend been? It’s been kind of busy for me the past couple of days. Yesterday the church I go to needed help setting up so I went and helped. It’s something I can do even if my legs and back haven’t been being so friendly lately! Helping yesterday made me realize how much is going on behind the scenes to keep things going!

Later on my Aunt and I got together. We kind of just drove around Middleton. She drove me past the house the church is leasing for the next 5 years. They are calling it The Grace House. The plan is to use the place as an office and for things like Bible Study and Life Group meetings. It’s really a beautiful little Victorian style house that reminds me of the Painted Ladies in Colorado Springs CO. During our visit she was able to convince me that it’s time to get a new mattress! She used her Costco membership and we found one. My tax refund money going to a good cause. We think some of the pain I’m going through in my lower body is related to having s bad mattress. To celebrate we went to Jalapeños in Nampa and that way we got to see Uncle John. We are keeping many of our family members near and far in prayer and of course our entire world with all that is going on!

The service this morning was really good. Pastor Jason talked about renovation of our hearts and touched a bit on free will. That God gives us the free will to make choices but ultimately has the final say. Kind of like how I think of God being like the parent ultimately having the say over what happens in the lives of their children. Free will only goes so far. There are consequences for our choices both good and bad. I liked this: “Definition of the heart: where decisions or choices are made for the whole person. “ In thinking about this message about the heart I got more insight on the area I struggle with understanding – free will. It’s the sometimes sketchy area of like all things that once they leave their creator they develop a life….a story independent of their creator. Many things in this world are created and abandoned. We are being reassured that such is not the case with God. Pastor shared something that really affected me. He said there was a point in his life that considered suicide! What a loss it would have been. He wouldn’t be there to help me with aspects of loving and knowing God that I’m struggling with! I like to hear his stories.

Tomorrow morning we are meeting at the Grace House to do some cleaning before furniture is moved in. I hope we get a good turn out to help. https://www.idahograce.com/

The messages from A woman’s Spirit for yesterday and today were about the value of time in our lives and the healing gift of sharing our stories. For me personally, I have found that time and distance have been great healers for coping with difficult things in my life. The farther I get from a situation, the less it hurts. The same can be said for sharing stories about trials I have faced. The more I talk about it the less it hurts each time. Like I mentioned in my Twitch Stream this morning there are generations before mine that don’t like to talk about things they have faced or are facing. They keep it to themselves. I think by doing this they harm themselves and deny others the experience of hearing about hope. It’s like “I have faced this situation. I’m facing a trial but there is hope in it. I got through it…I’m getting through it.” It’s kind of looked down on by many those people who dump their troubles on someone else but I try to remember boundaries and also that even though there are 7 billion plus people on earth, so many people fall through the cracks….. literally have no one they feel they can confide in. I have felt that way before. Only having a therapist to really talk about and talk out what I was going through.

A Woman’s Spirit Messages:

“Time is my friend today. Each minute brings to me an experience I am ready for.”

“All sorrows can be borne if you put them into a story or tell a story about them.” – Isak Dinesen

“I will tell a part of my story to someone today. She may be helped by it, and I will be free from it!”

4 March 2022 Dreams

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, dreams, history, human rights, In the News, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Politics and Government, Social media, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Check out 4 March 2022 Friday chat (dreams) https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1415186521

Hello to you. How are you today? It’s a sunny Friday here in Middleton. It’s a lovely 45 degrees! Spring is definitely in the air!

Last night I experienced a lot of dreams. The first dream was of laying in a bed and looking out into another room of pitch black. It was like I was in another persons body and was struggling to say The Lords Prayer. The person was so scared they could hardly speak the words. I woke up into another dream where I was crying for my Dad. I woke up into yet another dream where my stepmom appeared by the light by my bed asking if I was alright. It was like she was really there. I got out of bed and followed her down a hall. I told her I was worried about Dad and described the first dream I had! It was so comforting for me to see her. There were lots of other dreams but these really stood out because of how they were like having dreams within dreams…thinking your awake but your still sleeping.

Todays Twitch Stream was short. Sometimes it’s like that – short and sweet is all that’s needed. The message from A Woman’s Spirit talked about how some lessons in this life are painful. How occasionally our Higher Power has to get our attention. How we can pray for help to understand these experiences. I look at what is going on in my individual world and realize that I need to keep being more active to combat the pain I’m feeling in my legs. As I look at my life I am realizing that God is starting to ask more of me and gradually I am able to give it. I look at what is going on in the world and see with the crisis that is going on we as a world are pulling together- some of us praying more now than we ever have. We as a world have a common goal of wanting peace and good relations with our neighbors near and abroad. We are once again learning with war how fragile peace is…..how fragile we are. We are learning how much we have in common. Last night I not only prayed for the Ukraine but I prayed for the world- that God will take Putin in hand and set things right again – war isn’t ok! We’ve come too far as a world to resort to such things. What are we supposed to be learning with this conflict?!

“I will experience the calm times and the storms. From both I will discover my purpose.” (A Woman’s Spirit)

Psalm 32:10

Many are the woes of the wicked, but the Lord’s unfailing love surrounds the man who trusts in him.

1 March 2022 Tuesday

by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, history, human rights, In the News, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Money, Music, Social media, Spirituality and Religion, technology, Television, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Check out 1 March 2021 Tuesday chat https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1412137597

Hello to you. How are you today? We are having a gray and overcast morning. It was rough last night. I had trouble getting to sleep last night.

Lots of birthdays this month. Today is my cousins wife and my Uncles wife birthday. Happy birthday!

Today’s Twitch Stream touched on several topics. One was money. I don’t feel like there is anything wrong with it but if you make it the primary motive for doing things life can be so empty. It’s an energy just like anything else – what you do with it. The other thing we talked about is how this world is really crazy right now. It’s a time to really look for the helpers….to be one of the helpers in these times in whatever way you can. Something simple everyone can do is with prayer and meditation. Turn your thoughts and your heart toward things of the Spirit….to the God of your understanding. Be one of the lights. I know it’s hard. I’m struggling with this myself!

Messages from A Woman’s Spirit:

“ The journey to a new life – physically, mentally , and spiritually —includes the joy of rediscovering a faith that had been lost.” – Louise A. Rice

“I will let my faith work in my life today. Nothing has to upset me,”

“Recovery is an intensely spiritual process that asks us to grow in our understanding of God. “ – Melody Beattie

“Believing in God’s presence today will make every experience rich with meaning. I am not alone, now or ever. “

A message from Fred Rogers about looking for the helpers: https://youtu.be/NB5uSHCIgS0

Human Family by Maya Angelou: https://youtu.be/eL_ofpwicsc

I note the obvious differences
In the human family.
Some of us are serious,
Some thrive on comedy.Some declare their lives are lived
As true profundity,
And others claim they really live
The real reality.The variety of our skin tones
Can confuse, bemuse, delight,
Brown and pink and beige and purple,
Tan and blue and white.I’ve sailed upon the seven seas
And stopped in every land,
I’ve seen the wonders of the world
Not yet one common man.I know ten thousand women
Called Jane and Mary Jane,
But I’ve not seen any two
Who really were the same.Mirror twins are different
Although their features jibe,
And lovers think quite different thoughts
While lying side by side.We love and lose in China,
We weep on England’s moors,
And laugh and moan in Guinea,
And thrive on Spanish shores.We seek success in Finland,
Are born and die in Maine.
In minor ways we differ,
In major we’re the same.I note the obvious differences
Between each sort and type,
But we are more alike, my friends,
Than we are unalike.We are more alike, my friends,
Than we are unalike.We are more alike, my friends,
Than we are unalike.

I pray for the people in conflict right now be it a person at war with themself to entire countries like the Ukraine and Russia. I pray for all leaders in this world that God will give them wisdom and enlighten them to see a future of light.

28 February 2022 Monday

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, history, human rights, In the News, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Politics and Government, Social media, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Check out 28 February 2022 Monday chat https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1410862988

Hello to you. How are you? I wasn’t here yesterday. I decided to take the day off. I went to church in the morning and once again I had trouble with the message. It’s probably just me. As a person who is very sensitive and uses my heart and feelings a lot it was hard to hear that I shouldn’t be doing that so much. I don’t think God just wants a bunch of automatons running around doing his bidding. Don’t we have free will? I am working on turning to God first but still use my heart. We prayed for the people of the Ukraine. I’m praying for them, Russia and this whole world. I’m praying for Putin too. It’s easy to pray for those who like and love us. We need to pray for those who harm us too.

Anyhew. After church I went with my friend to a rock and gem show in Boise. Wow! From the first table on I could feel the place was just vibrating! It’s like the rocks and gems were all crying out “hey! Pick me!” As I’ve mentioned before I used to really have a problem with compulsively buying jewelry. So me going to such an event was tough but I was good and didn’t buy anything. ALOT of beautiful things were there and lots of people. We went to Dickeys Barbeque afterwards and that tasted good. We both had the brisket. It was kind of weird as there was only two people running the whole place. It looked like s lot of their business was carry out. It was nice to get out with a friend!

In the evening I watched the rebroadcast of Elevation Church service and that was interesting. Pastor Steven Furtick was reading from Genesis. How everything God created had a purpose. He tied that in with an example of what people do, like being birds put in a fish bowl. Birds were made to fly. So many of us aren’t doing what we were made for. I think he was saying we were designed to worship God and that’s not entirely what’s happening. It’s the world we’ve made where the primary amount of our existence is devoted to the worship and care of people, places and things. It’s hard sometimes to find a balance in our devotions! To put our relationship with God as we understand them first in our busy lives.

“Choosing love as a way of life eliminates most of the conflict that undermines our well-being . Having faith that God is in charge takes care of the rest.” (A Woman’s Spirit)

26 February 2022 Responsible Creation

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Food, Health, history, Home, human rights, In the News, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Money, Movies, Music, Nature, Politics and Government, Science (Keshe Foundation and other innovations), Social media, Spirituality and Religion, technology, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging
It was hard getting up this morning

Hello to you. How’s your day going? I’m getting a late start to the day. I just didn’t want to get out of bed!

Check out 26 February 2022 Saturday chat https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1408892493 my

Todays Twitch stream was good. We talked about a lot of stuff today! Addiction, the choice to have pets, psalm 26, different cultures living together, world peace, technology and responsible creation. One of my viewers asked if I feel like technology has brought people together and my answer was yes but it’s also a bit of an illusion. With technology I’m able to communicate with people all over the world – something without technology I wouldn’t be able to do. Without technology my life would be very lonely….but I have to remind myself that technology isn’t a replacement for one to one contact. Technology can’t replace what happens between people having face to face contact.

I wish there were more visionaries in the world of creation. So much of our worlds operations is based on short sightedness. How much money will this make me? Not how will this be a benefit to mankind. Follow from creation and through the entire life cycle of what is being created – where is what I want to create going to end up? Taking responsibility for our creations. When I really started thinking about my crafts and hobbies I ended up stopping a lot of what I was doing! I liked to paint but realized the environmental impact of my enjoying it – the paint in the water for example. One area of late that I am concerned about with this is robotics. I would like to see more vigilance….more regulation but it’s already kind of too late! Anyways, talked about a lot today.

“Focus on how we are the same not how we are different.” – me

My thoughts and prayers are with the people of the Ukraine and Russia – any part of our shared world that is in conflict of any kind. We must learn to focus as a world on what we have in common not how we are different – what separates us. It’s like taking out your mental gratitude list. Once you think of one thing a whole bunch of others come to your mind! I just hope everything is going to be alright with all of this.

I highly recommend this video – we are all responsible for the “stuff” that gets manifested in this world: https://youtu.be/9GorqroigqM

ob·so·les·cence/ˌäbsəˈlesəns/Learn to pronouncenoun

  • the process of becoming obsolete or outdated and no longer used.”computers are infamous for their rapid obsolescence”

The Ocean Clean up Project: https://youtu.be/8HQEd_IX6A8. I’m very proud there are young people like Boyan Slat in the world.

29 January 2022 Saturday

by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, drawing, Health, history, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Money, Movies, Music, Social media, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Check out 29 January 2022 Saturday morning chat https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1280050945

Hello. How are you today? I hope good. I’m feeling pretty good. I got some sleep and that makes the world of difference!

First drawing in my new sketchbook today

The Twitch stream this morning was good. I got a chance to talk about some things I hadn’t talked about before. For example some of what was going on with media and my brain when I had all those manic episodes. How it’s really important to be mindful of what you feed your mind, body and spirit. When I was having manic episodes my brain didn’t differentiate between fantasy and reality. The two worlds merged and I was in the middle. I feel “content creators” in this world have a responsibility for what they put into this world. Over time, if we look, there has been a lot of trash packaged for consumption that may be should have just been left to being a thought, a dream…. a nightmare. There are people like me that have had psychotic breaks and start talking to things like television sets!

Another thing I talked about along the line of content creation is motive. As a content creator what is my motive for my creation? Is it to make a lot of money? Garner attention and fame? Influence people? Why am I doing it? For me personally it’s for several reasons. Making the videos and writing this blog is very therapeutic. It helps me not be lonely for a little while. It’s also my hope when I’m doing these things that somebody will get something out of it. That something will resonate with them and they will be able to use it to help themselves of somebody else. My motives are pure. I’m not looking for money or fame from doing what I do. Honestly I don’t think that is Gods plan for me. In the past when money has come into play with crafts and stuff I’m doing it has tainted it….the purity is lost. Bottom line is as a person putting “stuff” into the atmosphere people live in it’s important to check your motives at the door!

28 December 2021 Tuesday

by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, drawing, history, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Music, Spirituality and Religion, Uncategorized, Veteran Affairs

Hello to you. How are you? Hopefully staying warm! It’s a balmy 22 degrees here as I write to you. Winter is definitely here. I’m so grateful Link and I have a warm shelter. Even as we near 2022 there are people without affordable housing.

So I rousted myself with some Heilung and my little drum this morning. My little drum circle idea rose and fell this year. It’s ok. I don’t regret buying the drum. It gets lots of use.

https://youtu.be/64CACoHNBEI – Heilung Norupo

Thinking of hearth and home this chilly Tuesday!

“Primal beat of my drum and ancient calling, steam rises from my coffee…snow is falling. A warm hearth and home within my heart can be found. An echo of the beginning sound.”

As I sit here this morning I wonder where we are heading in this world. Where am I heading. Things are doing things…..I keep trying to stand still in time but it doesn’t work that way. How do I graciously embrace the inevitable? Lately I’ve been feeling like my mind is in an in between place. When I feel this way I don’t get to just live my life and move forward with it. It’s been a long time since I’ve been in the flow….that stream of existence where time doesn’t matter. Your doing what God put you here to do and that’s all you want to do! All you want to do is be in that “sweet spot” with God.

Sometimes when I’m writing I get the place I desire to be. It’s warm and safe. The words just flow and I don’t want it to end but it always does. I had these sort of feelings when I would sit outside in Texas and draw with chalk. I would sit outside for hours and just draw. I felt such a direct connection with God. What was nice is my drawings lasted until the rains came. Then I would have a fresh canvas. I used to draw spaceships that sailed off with the rains. Where I live now I don’t have a slab in the backyard to draw on. I just have a driveway in the front yard and I’m a little self conscious about doing my drawings there.

I believe God isn’t done with me yet. There is a reason I still exist. I have to remind myself that the reason(s) aren’t always big ones. One of my favorite Saints is Therese of Lisieux: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Th%C3%A9r%C3%A8se_of_Lisieux and the reason is because of how she believed in serving God in little ways. Every time I smell roses I think of her. We each have a part in Gods play. Some are major parts and some are very small but they are all important. Sometimes we are destined to live the little way and have to find peace with that.

I hope something here resonated!