Hello to you. How are you? I’m on the tail end of the cold I caught. Sleep and vitamin c and some Alka-Seltzer stuff have helped me kick this thing. Found out this morning my uncle caught a cold too. They are hoping it’s just a cold. That’s what you have to hope in this age of super viruses! My cousins husband and daughter tested positive for Covid recently..starting to wonder if this shit isn’t in our water!!!!
We got some more snow overnight but it’s wet because it’s warmer. I am glad I don’t have to worry about going out in this mess until Friday. I’ve been finding out for the second winter that this town doesn’t do snow removal. For a place that experiences winter you would think it would be a priority but apparently it’s not. So the roads are slick now.
I must have been thinking about Wes. In one of his Facebook posts he said looking at one of his scans was like seeing galaxies inside his body
To you reader I hope that you are well and you have something to be grateful for even if it’s a tiny thing …..just one thing. Even if it’s just that you opened your eyes today. From experience if you ask for God to help you – they will. Vocalize – talk to God like you would talk to a good friend. The results might surprise you. Today is going to be a better day. Don’t give up!
Hello. It’s 3:03 pm as I write to you. I’m cuddled on the couch with Link sucking on a Halls losenge. Just one of the things my Aunt and Uncle earth angels brought to me moments ago. I’m looking forward to her famous healing potato soup when I get hungry a little later.
There are people on this earth that you wonder how they have the strength to be everywhere they are and do everything they do. They must have some sort of super power ! I think they would say their power is their love of God. It is that love that propels them to be who they are….earth angels. To be the ambassadors of Gods love to those in need…..to be his body. To be willing to go where the missions take them without question. My Aunt and Uncle could have just prayed for me but they went much further. Just seeing them helped me feel better!
“For the sick and those in need I heed the call. I do it with a gladdened heart for no thanks at all. I am an earth Angel, boots on the ground. Whenever your in need I’ll be around.”
Good morning to you from snowy Idaho! How are you? I’m doing pretty good. I decided to unbury my car and go get groceries before we get so much snow I can’t get out. I’m so grateful to the people who work at our local Ridleys grocery store. If it gets much worse I hope they’ll let them close early but after talking to one of the gals who lives here in town, she said it’s unlikely they will close. These folks are some of the unsung hero’s in our world. I pray they will all be safe getting to and from work. Anyhew I am grateful. In awhile I need to go out and rearrange some of the snow that’s fallen! It’s accumulating fast!
Last night I had a nice stream on Twitch. A couple followers visited and that’s always fun. One is from London and the other France. We just talked about random stuff. It’s nice to have company in the evening. The only thing that is kind of annoying is the delay in the chat sometimes. They enjoyed getting to see the snow!
My friend contacted me about getting together tonight and we decided to cancel. With the roads like they are and all the snowfall we decided it was just better to wait til the weather was better.
I haven’t decided if I’m going to paint another shirt yet or not. I will say it’s been fun taking some old plain tshirts and breathing new life into them with art!
Hello to you. It’s still snowing as I write to you. I don’t know how much we are supposed to get but it doesn’t show any sign of slowing down. If I wasn’t an adult I wouldn’t care. The neighbor kids have their snowsuites on and are having so much fun! I was thinking of how fun it is to make snow angels and then two of them did it! At some point I’m going to have to go unbury my car. Adulting sucks sometimes!
Yesterday I decided to look up an old crush from senior high school and I wasn’t prepared for what I found. He had made a successful career as a manager at Barnes and Noble and as an entertainer. He had been cross dressing and his characters name was Roxy Marquis. He got married to the man he loved. What I wasn’t prepared for was that he got lymphoma and fought the cancer for 4 years. He died in 2020 from it and he was my age- we were a year apart! All the memories I had of him filled my head last night and it was hard to sleep. I had such a crush on him when we were in school! I was too smitten with him to pick up that he was different…that he was gay. He was so beautiful to me. Finding this out evoked a lot of emotions. Why did he have to go through what he did? I felt so scared and sad last night just thinking how hard he fought to live. I hope in his heaven he has peace. RIP Wesley Byers – https://m.startribune.com/obituaries/detail/0000358638/
This morning I found out a friend, Tanya Knight, from my tribe in Alvarado, succumbed to cancer too! She was the most gentle and beautiful woman you could ever meet. Just so vibrant and full of life – she was a healer. I can’t believe she’s gone.
Last night as I was tossing, turning and crying I talked to God. “God I don’t understand suffering and death! It scares me. I feel so powerless – where are you God? Sometimes it just feels like you’ve abandoned us and I don’t want to believe that. Don’t let me waste this gift you have given me…..this life.”
Heavy flurries today
Both Wes and Tanya still have their Facebook pages up. I’m glad they were so I could pay my respects. I didn’t know Facebook did that.
I hope something here resonated. I need to pull myself together and live this day. I think that’s the best way we can honor those who have gone before us – live!
Hello to you. How are you? Hopefully staying warm! It’s a balmy 22 degrees here as I write to you. Winter is definitely here. I’m so grateful Link and I have a warm shelter. Even as we near 2022 there are people without affordable housing.
So I rousted myself with some Heilung and my little drum this morning. My little drum circle idea rose and fell this year. It’s ok. I don’t regret buying the drum. It gets lots of use.
“Primal beat of my drum and ancient calling, steam rises from my coffee…snow is falling. A warm hearth and home within my heart can be found. An echo of the beginning sound.”
As I sit here this morning I wonder where we are heading in this world. Where am I heading. Things are doing things…..I keep trying to stand still in time but it doesn’t work that way. How do I graciously embrace the inevitable? Lately I’ve been feeling like my mind is in an in between place. When I feel this way I don’t get to just live my life and move forward with it. It’s been a long time since I’ve been in the flow….that stream of existence where time doesn’t matter. Your doing what God put you here to do and that’s all you want to do! All you want to do is be in that “sweet spot” with God.
Sometimes when I’m writing I get the place I desire to be. It’s warm and safe. The words just flow and I don’t want it to end but it always does. I had these sort of feelings when I would sit outside in Texas and draw with chalk. I would sit outside for hours and just draw. I felt such a direct connection with God. What was nice is my drawings lasted until the rains came. Then I would have a fresh canvas. I used to draw spaceships that sailed off with the rains. Where I live now I don’t have a slab in the backyard to draw on. I just have a driveway in the front yard and I’m a little self conscious about doing my drawings there.
I believe God isn’t done with me yet. There is a reason I still exist. I have to remind myself that the reason(s) aren’t always big ones. One of my favorite Saints is Therese of Lisieux: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Th%C3%A9r%C3%A8se_of_Lisieux and the reason is because of how she believed in serving God in little ways. Every time I smell roses I think of her. We each have a part in Gods play. Some are major parts and some are very small but they are all important. Sometimes we are destined to live the little way and have to find peace with that.
Hello there. How are you doing today? I’m doing ok…..having kind of a surreal morning. We got snow yesterday so no travel for me today. Thankfully my therapist is doing phone sessions today.
Links paw print in the snow
Why is today surreal? It’s hard to pin it on just one thing. May be it’s because another year is drawing to a close? Like I’ve said before I hold on to things too tight….even time.
I did a short stream last night. The topic was empathy. Something I feel the world is lacking….something I feel I’m lacking. I have always felt like I was an empath but after what I’ve been through these past couple of years I am not so sure. I’m a harsher person than I used to be. I am not as caring about other people as I used to be. I don’t like it but wonder if it’s a protective mechanism. I wonder if I truly allowed myself to be like I was if I would be able to keep it together.
I am hoping this next year is less frosty for me. I hope there will be reasons to reconnect to my heart and be warm in that space without having to be a blubbering mess in the process. Is there a way to be strong but loving too? I pray God will get me there!
If anything here resonates I would love to hear from you!
Hello. How are you doing as you visit me here? I hope you are well. I’m enjoying a room full of sunshine and some coffee. It’s really quiet this morning.
Yesterday my aunt and uncle came over about 10 am so they could leave their dog Smokey with Link. It was going to be a long day and they didn’t want him to be alone that long. Then I followed them over to my cousins and his wife’s for brunch. They have a real nice home! So welcoming! The food was wonderful as always and we got to have a nice visit. There was some snow coming down but it was too warm to stick which was good! I left a little while after we ate as they were going to see The Kingsmen. I was invited but didn’t want to go. So I went home and had a couple sweet dogs to keep me company! They really had to pee lol!
There are no plans for today. I am thinking about my aunt this morning. It’s looking like she’s going to have knee surgery on the 13th of next month. She’s nervous about it and so am I but it’s getting hard for her to be as active as she’s used to being. My aunt and many of the older people in my life, like my parents, have such youthful spirits! They want to go and do things but their bodies hold them back. There is always one body part or another that fails them. I wish getting older didn’t have to include sickness, pain and loss of body function!
“Twilight of my youth within me turning, flesh and bones around me burning. I long for limber days in the sun, but the calendar pages turn and those days are done. So hush little child buried deep…..I can still carry you….go back to sleep.”
I should get off of here and take Link for a walk while I have the motivation to do it. Get some direct sunshine! I hope this finds you well!
Hello. It’s 6:04 pm and Christmas 2021 is drawing to a close. As I sit here writing to you I am filled with gratitude…..and longing. I have been included and loved in to other peoples ideas of what the holidays should be but I find I still miss my little family. Will God ever let me have that again? Can God hear my true hearts desire?
Merry Dogmas from LinkMerry Dogmas from Smokey
New memories were made this year that I will cherish. On Christmas Eve my aunt and uncle came over with a lasagne meal and we went to a candlelight service here in town….it even snowed! In those little candles went lots of prayers! Then today was a wonderful brunch with my aunt, uncle, cousin and his wife. I was grateful to come home from brunch and there were two sweet little dogs to take a nap with.
“In the stillness of Christmas now past my heart lies in the snows of the last. “
Hello to you. Thank you for visiting me here today. I’m really having trouble collecting my thoughts. This is like try number 5 at trying to write to you! How are you holding up with the holidays?
I’m writing to you from my little life raft I’m sharing with Link aka tiny couch. It’s gray and wet outside and I’m feeling it. When it’s like this I get a mild case of depression. I know it will pass. When I feel this way I just want to be nurtured and there is nobody here to do it! I really miss having a special somebody to do life with. Part of me resists the reality of having to share life with someone again. The complications of everything involved with sharing a life with someone. Everyone tells me that when I find him or he finds me everything will just work itself out. My drawing today is me imagining God manifesting a special someone for me.
There is a plan in the works – I just have to be patient
“I know your out there wandering around just about as lost as me….someday together we will be.”
Hello to you! It’s Sunday morning as I write to you. I had to kick myself out of bed! It’s gray and no sunshine!! Booo!! I’m looking forward to seeing family today – we’ll make our own sunshine!!
Last night I had a good session on Twitch. I met a young man from the Philippines who had a cold and just wanted to chat. He mentioned that the southern part of his country was being ravaged by a super typhoon called Rai: https://www.accuweather.com/en/hurricane/super-typhoon-rai-hits-philippines-like-a-freight-train/1061450/amp he is fortunate to be living in the north! We swapped spooky stories. His was of being in his parents room and seeing feet in his sisters room. He didn’t investigate whose feet they were until he went downstairs and his whole family was there! When he went back up they were gone! A little later another person came on who is working towards being a psych nurse and I shared a bit of my story with him. I’ve been in the mental health system since 1991 so a person like me has a lot of stories! It was fun talking to them,
Cube for the day
I decided to start a Discord channel after all. We will see how it goes. I’m not real savvy on how it works but giving it a try. A friend of mine asked me the other night what my goal with all this is and it’s pretty simple – to reach people who are going through stuff I’ve been through and help them not feel so alone in this world. There are 7.9 billion people on this planet and yet there are times it can feel like there is no one. Some of us slip through the cracks . I feel that way sometimes even though I have family and friends. Sometimes there are things you can’t talk about with just anyone. They don’t always understand. The other part of this journey I’m taking with Twitch is I love meeting new people and hearing their stories .
God has a plan in all that is happening in my life. I just have to keep taking the next steps!
To be 