4 February 2022 What brings us Together

February 4, 2022 by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Food, human rights, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Music, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Check out 4 February 2022 Friday morning chat https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1286643827

Hello. How are you? How is your day going so far? We have lovely sunshine this morning and I got some sleep last night. Lots to be grateful for!

The Twitch stream this morning was interesting. We talked a lot about food and I shared a couple recipes. I have one viewer that loves to joke about potatoes because I’m from Idaho. We agreed that it’s food and music that brings us together. Both of them use more than one sense to enjoy. Eating and listening to music is a multi-sensory experience and are things common to all walks of life. We fight about most everything else don’t we?!

A new viewer joined us and shared a story about his brother being bullied and beat up and we talked for a long time about that subject! This particular viewer was from England. Bullies go way back! I was bullied at school. I think it’s all too common a thing that happens in the science experiment that is public school. Being a bully is taught and learned. Now with all sorts of social media and video game platforms this kind of behavior has migrated there. The phrase “sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me” isn’t really true in a modern digital world. Words do hurt.

Last night I called my Aunt ad I was feeling lonesome and kind of anxious about trying to go to sleep. We talked and she recommended this psalm that she said she reads to my Uncle if he is having trouble sleeping:

Psalm 23New International Version

Psalm 23

A psalm of David.

¹The Lord is my shepherd,^(A) I lack nothing.^(B)
²    He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,^(C)
³    he refreshes my soul.^(D)
He guides me^(E) along the right paths^(F)
    for his name’s sake.^(G)
⁴Even though I walk
    through the darkest valley,^[a]^(H)
I will fear no evil,^(I)
    for you are with me;^(J)
your rod and your staff,
    they comfort me.

⁵You prepare a table^(K) before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;^(L)
my cup^(M) overflows.
⁶Surely your goodness and love^(N) will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord
forever.

2 February 2022 Wednesday

February 2, 2022 by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Health, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Social media, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Check out 2 February 2022 Wednesday morning chat https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1284406575

Hello to you. How are you? Feeling a little bleary eyed. I slept but feel like I could have slept a little longer! I was laying there and my body just wouldn’t let me go back to sleep.

Picked up my new glasses yesterday. I’m pretty pleased with them! The place I got them was Family Eye Care Specialist. They had s package deal where if you chose one of their frames all you had to do was pay for the lenses. What’s also nice is they are within walking distance. It felt good to get a nice walk in.

It’s nice to be able to see at a distance more clearly again!

Todays message in the Woman’s Spirit book I read out of for my streams was a little different. It was talking about God in the feminine. When I was active in the AA program, it was emphasized that you have a Higher Power. It didn’t matter if it was a tree but it was important to have a relationship with a loving force outside of yourself to help you achieve sobriety. For many of the people I knew in the program the traditional Bible God was their Higher Power. It was important to have that relationship outside of yourself because you were the one who got yourself in the mess in the first place! When I think of God I think of energy….a “they” versus a he or she. God is everything.

Something that I think about with my concept of God is they are not limited to the duality that seems to permeate our existence. In order to be God they can’t be limited to the same things we are. God is not bound to a body with all the rules and limitations we are. They can see every side of everything known to existence. If you ask why something happened they have the answer. They can see forward and backward to infinity. Every piece of existence at their disposal. The God I know and love “just is.” Sometimes when I get to wondering if they are there I just have to ask and I’m shown indeed they are there! I’ll be crying and suddenly will feel this warmth like arms wrapping around me.

So I don’t think God is just good or bad. God just is. People like to blame God for all the bad things that happen. I think it’s easier to blame God than it is to take responsibility for their actions either as an individual or as a collective species. Everything, even a blade of grass has a plan for it. We make choices and there is a cumulative affect. I am beginning to think the plan there is for each of us is like a blueprint but the final product is up to us and our choices….that free will part of the equation! It’s like we are born with a plan, a blueprint for what we can be but we may or may not complete the design. So many factors are at work that determine if we will achieve our full potential.

Anyhew lol- can you tell I like riddling around with matters of the spirit? Hopefully something here will spark a thought in you. I’d love to hear if you have any thoughts.

1 February 2022 Tuesday

February 1, 2022 by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, drawing, Health, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Social media, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Check out 1 February 2022 Tuesday morning chat https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1283369641

Hello to you. I hope this finds you well. It’s hard to believe it’s the first of the month already!

Had a good stream by myself this morning. The people that have been showing up weren’t there. In the daily meditation book I like to read from, A Woman’s Spirit, there was a good message for me to talk about. It was about what we do when chaos in its many forms shows up. We have a choice in these times. What I struggle with is going into panic mode when bad things happen. I feel powerless and not in control which is incredibly difficult for me. In these times it’s important to remember things happen in this life that we can’t control and it’s how we choose to go through those things that shapes the final outcome.

I can remember when my mom found out she had cancer and had to go through chemotherapy. She chose to go through all that with a positive attitude! She was such an inspiration the people at the hospital wanted her to speak to other patients! She made a conscious decision not to let the cancer crush her spirit – her will to live.

“Every person I meet today is in my life by design. What I give to or learn from others helps each of us to grow.” (A Woman’s Spirit)

22 January 2022 Saturday

January 22, 2022 by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, drawing, Health, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Social media, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

I’m live on Twitch – Watch me at https://twitch.tv/jwygant

Hello to you. How are you? It’s another sunny morning and I’m digging it! This morning when I was doing my Twitch stream it felt so good on my face!

On the stream this morning I read from the Big Book and specifically Chapter 5 How It Works which is where you find the 12 Steps of the AA program. Being a part of AA not only helped me deal with alcohol but other addictions I was facing in my life. One of those addictions was shopping for jewelry – a very expensive habit! Another was compulsively picking at my skin. What I discovered with the programs help is I was doing things, using things to self medicate bigger underlying problems. Acknowledging I had become powerless over my own life was one of those important steps I took. For the blessing of recovery it’s important to continue to pay it forward!

I have a fair amount of traffic on my recorded streams which gives me the opportunity to help others while I’m helping myself. It’s been my experience that we don’t go through things for no reason be it good or not so good. When I stream when I’m having trouble it’s my hope that something about what I’m going through will help somebody else. It’s the same hope I’ve always had for my blog. I hope something I’m sharing will resonate. Something will be a message someone needs to hear in that moment. We are all messengers for someone!!

The past couple days I’ve been experiencing a lot of anxiety – just being uncomfortable in my body. One of the things I do to help myself now is I start a Twitch livestream and just walk and talk in my house. I used to have family and friends I would call and just go for a walk but I don’t really have that anymore. So I am having to soothe myself and using Twitch is helping me do that. It helps me with my chronic loneliness too. I’m not exactly sure what the trigger is for the anxiety but it kind of comes out of nowhere and just washed over me! I’m just glad I have a tool to help me feel better. Usually someone gets on after awhile and I have someone to visit with which helps too.

21 January 2022 Friday

January 21, 2022January 21, 2022 by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Health, Mental Health, Social media, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

I’m live on Twitch – Watch me at https://twitch.tv/jwygant

Hi there. It’s Friday and there is sunshine for the first day in several days! Yay!!

After I finish this I will have to get myself dressed and take Link and I for a walk. So grateful to see the sun.

My Aunt shared an interesting article with me this morning that talks a bit about some things they are finding out about the after affects of having Covid: https://www.upi.com/Health_News/2022/01/20/COVID-19-brain-fog/4131642691942/ My cousin, her daughter and me have been experiencing things like light headedness, dizziness, fatigue, brain fog and more anxiety than usual. If you have had Covid May be something will resonate with you. I just want to feel like myself again! Even after over two weeks I’m still not 100%. Oh and for folks in the states you can get four free Covid tests: https://www.covidtests.gov/

Message from A Woman’s Spirit book for today: We do not have to get caught in the middle of other people’s issues – Melody Beattie

What are you grateful for today? Gosh I am grateful for so much! God, Link, family and friends, sunshine, a roof over my head, food, clean water, heat, electricity, Twitch – so many little things! It’s important to remember that it’s mostly little things that make up a life! I hope if you read this and your having a rough time that you can pull out a mental gratitude list.

Astravert is doing a fundraiser for pancreatic cancer today: Check out JAMATHON for Pancreatic Cancer Research – !PancOneAmbassador https://www.twitch.tv/astravert

20 January 2022 Anxiety

January 20, 2022 by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Health, Mental Health, Social media, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

I’m live on Twitch – Watch me at https://twitch.tv/jwygant

Hello to you. How are you ? As I write to you it’s another day of inversion. There is this gray lid over us and there is no sign of it moving! It’s so depressing.

Sometimes you have to make your own sunshine!

Last night was a lot of fun. My cousin celebrated her 52nd birthday. She came over and picked me up and took me over to my Aunt and Uncles house. We had a delicious ham dinner with birthday cake for dessert. We had some good laughs! This is the first time I’ve celebrated her birthday!

Early yesterday I had a pretty intense anxiety/panic attack. After talking with my family yesterday we are wondering if some of it isn’t related to having Covid. We have all been experiencing light headedness, dizziness and a sort of brain fog. My cousin, her daughter and I were all sick a couple of weeks and this crud is just lingering!! Does this resonate with you? We also talked about how we got sick when we are older and we just aren’t bouncing back like we used to!

19 January 2022 Wednesday

January 19, 2022January 19, 2022 by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Health, Mental Health, Music, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you. How are you? Today has started out pretty good. Had a good stream talking about issues associated with mania and fear. Both require self soothing. It’s important to learn how to be your own mom sometimes! “Everything is going to be ok. This will pass, it always does.” I had a viewer from Germany talking about it taking 2.5 years to see a psychotherapist!

I’m live on Twitch – Watch me at https://twitch.tv/jwygant

Today is my youngest cousins birthday! Hard to believe it’s been another year!

Today I have been feeling some anxiety but listening to Astravert is helping: Check out Wednesday Friends | !spotify !youtube !bandcamp !merch https://www.twitch.tv/astravert

It’s another day of inversion here – gray! I’m trying to keep my spirits up. My cousin and I talked about this weather just being a time of rest. The rest of the year always goes so fast that we need a time to slow down. Sometimes I need a reminder!

My therapist and I were talking about how much is enough when it comes to doing things. She brought up a good point that if you are making the world a better place that can be enough! Sometimes we can get really obsessed with being productive.

17 January 2022 Support

January 17, 2022 by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, drawing, Mental Health, Music, Social media, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you how are you? It’s another gray and cold morning as I write to you. Some day the sun will return!

I had a nice stream on Twitch this morning. Got to visit with Sasha from Kirov Russia and Yoda from Seattle. Some other folks stopped in – Australia. It means a lot to me that people stop by and say hello!

I’m live on Twitch – Watch me at https://twitch.tv/jwygant

I tried something different and drew this while streaming !

Yesterday I had a visit with one of my followers from Iceland. He was in a music video! He’s the guy on the bike: https://youtu.be/z04sE7L2DVw . It’s so interesting to talk to people from different parts of the world!

A little something to listen to if your into electric guitar:

Check out Monday and Chill | !spotify !youtube !bandcamp !twitter !merch https://www.twitch.tv/astravert

15 January 2022 Saturday Morning

January 15, 2022 by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Food, Health, Mental Health, Social media, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello. How are you? It’s really early as I write to you. When I wake up early I don’t know what to do with the darkness!

I found this website this morning and found some comfort : https://www.southernliving.com/culture/comforting-bible-verses – 50 Bible Verses of Comfort and Strength

Check out 15 January 2022 Early Morning chat https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1264424008

I ended up streaming for a couple hours with people from all over the world – Russia, Australia, Seattle and India. I learned about a pancake like food called blini in Russia. The man from Australia was in Singapore but his family moved them so they would have a more relaxed life. He really is happy there. Anyhew its so nice to have people to visit with this morning. It really helped. What happened is one of the things I like about Twitch.

Yesterday I visited with my Aunt and Uncle and that was nice. We had some butter bean soup and cornbread. I got to try out one of their new pieces of furniture – so comfortable! Link and Smokey got to play a bit. Link gets a little rough so we had to break them up for a bit!

Still having “stuff” going on my head – drainage. We are going on 2 weeks with this crud! I keep having this light headed uncomfortable feeling. I’m really starting to wonder if there is something going on in the air. I just want to feel normal again – solid in my head. Hopefully soon.

I hope you have a great day!

14 January 2022 Friday

January 14, 2022 by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, drawing, Health, Mental Health, Music, Social media, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

I’m live on Twitch – Watch me at https://twitch.tv/jwygant – me talking about stuff

Check out FriYAY Coffee & Jamz | !spotify !youtube !bandcamp !twitter !merch https://www.twitch.tv/astravert – improv guitar

Watch https://twitch.tv/jaynerio with me on Twitch! JayneRio – singing

Watch https://twitch.tv/newbaroque with me on Twitch! newbaroque – violin

Hello – it’s good morning from here as I write to you. I’m listening to Astravert which is helping with some of the anxiety I had this morning. I tried the Hydroxyzine as my doctor recommended last night and I’m not sure about it. We will see! I hate the getting to know you period when it comes to trying new medications! My body is really sensitive. It didn’t make me sleepy like most antihistamines do. My Aunt said she reacted the same way on it. I didn’t sleep very well last night.

The sun is starting to shine through my front windows….it’s a new day. Feels good. I’m sitting on my little life raft with my special boy Link and not sure what today will bring. I’m trying to stay in a space of gratitude. The sketchbooks came yesterday. Turns out they are real small lol! Oh well they will get used. Part of me wishes I had ordered the tshirts so I would have something to paint.

I wanted to mention that last night I was happy to see New Baroque on his channel and he seemed to be doing well. It seemed like whatever happened got worked out. At least I hope so!

“Fellow travelers are you weary? Have the torments of this day made you teary? Wipe your eyes. Don’t believe the lies. Stay in the fight don’t lose your light.”