22 January 2022 Saturday

I’m live on Twitch – Watch me at https://twitch.tv/jwygant

Hello to you. How are you? It’s another sunny morning and I’m digging it! This morning when I was doing my Twitch stream it felt so good on my face!

It felt good to draw this morning

On the stream this morning I read from the Big Book and specifically Chapter 5 How It Works which is where you find the 12 Steps of the AA program. Being a part of AA not only helped me deal with alcohol but other addictions I was facing in my life. One of those addictions was shopping for jewelry – a very expensive habit! Another was compulsively picking at my skin. What I discovered with the programs help is I was doing things, using things to self medicate bigger underlying problems. Acknowledging I had become powerless over my own life was one of those important steps I took. For the blessing of recovery it’s important to continue to pay it forward!

I have a fair amount of traffic on my recorded streams which gives me the opportunity to help others while I’m helping myself. It’s been my experience that we don’t go through things for no reason be it good or not so good. When I stream when I’m having trouble it’s my hope that something about what I’m going through will help somebody else. It’s the same hope I’ve always had for my blog. I hope something I’m sharing will resonate. Something will be a message someone needs to hear in that moment. We are all messengers for someone!!

The past couple days I’ve been experiencing a lot of anxiety – just being uncomfortable in my body. One of the things I do to help myself now is I start a Twitch livestream and just walk and talk in my house. I used to have family and friends I would call and just go for a walk but I don’t really have that anymore. So I am having to soothe myself and using Twitch is helping me do that. It helps me with my chronic loneliness too. I’m not exactly sure what the trigger is for the anxiety but it kind of comes out of nowhere and just washed over me! I’m just glad I have a tool to help me feel better. Usually someone gets on after awhile and I have someone to visit with which helps too.

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