prayer – Page 4

10 March 2022 The Challenge of a Quiet Mind

March 10, 2022 by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Health, Home, human rights, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Nature, photography, Social media, Spirituality and Religion, technology, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Check out 10 March 2022 Thursday chat https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1421288283

Hello to you. How is your where and when as you visit me here? Hard to believe it’s Thursday already. The week has gone by fast.

This gift rock from my dear friend “T” brightens each day

Todays message from A Woman’s Spirit has to do with quieting the mind and meditation. Both of these things have been a challenge for me! I have always had a monkey mind and or chatter brain. However, when I was living in Texas I used to lay on my back for hours just connecting with the passing clouds or sit on the band stand we had and connect with the trees, flowers and insects. I guess it was like meditating! I do better outside when it comes to trying to still my body and mind. Inside there are so many distractions!

This morning I did something that I need to do more often and that is get quiet inside and focus my thoughts. It’s really hard for me to “hold a thought.” In particular my sinuses were kind of blocked up so I focused my thoughts to my sinus and told them to open up and or to clear…..it worked! I was able to breathe freely again. I then proceeded to focus on different parts of my body that have been hurting and was able to get relief there too. Then before my feet hit the ground to get up I just asked God to be with me today….”Hey God would you hang out with me today?”

Anyhew lol what I’m talking about here is a challenge in the kind of world we live in. I really struggle myself with this! If we are in a relationship of some kind, have kids, pets, a job, hobbies….things that keep us busy and distracted all day long, it can be really difficult to find time to just stop not only our bodies but our busy minds. Stop long enough to connect with our inner selves and our Higher Power. Be still…..some of us in this world are choosing and in many cases out of survival are having to stay busy every waking minute. We have to rest our bodies and our minds —- make space and time for our spiritual selves to exist. Like I said on my stream today if you are having trouble with having quiet time inside – why? What is keeping you from it and what can you do about it? If it’s a lot of things and you are overwhelmed what is one thing you can do to get peace inside? I have to do this myself – not focus on all the stuff I can’t change but focus on what I can. Kind of like what The Serenity Prayer talks about:

The Serenity Prayer is a prayer written by the American theologian Reinhold Niebuhr. It is commonly quoted as: God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.

Messages from A Woman’s Spirit today:

“Today I will stop brooding – and start meditation.” – Nancy T

“I can figure out my next best move today if I quiet my mind long enough to receive God’s message.”

6 March 2022 Sunday

March 6, 2022 by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Health, history, Home, human rights, In the News, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Check out 6 March 2022 Sunday chat https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1417332045

Hello to you. How has your weekend been? It’s been kind of busy for me the past couple of days. Yesterday the church I go to needed help setting up so I went and helped. It’s something I can do even if my legs and back haven’t been being so friendly lately! Helping yesterday made me realize how much is going on behind the scenes to keep things going!

Later on my Aunt and I got together. We kind of just drove around Middleton. She drove me past the house the church is leasing for the next 5 years. They are calling it The Grace House. The plan is to use the place as an office and for things like Bible Study and Life Group meetings. It’s really a beautiful little Victorian style house that reminds me of the Painted Ladies in Colorado Springs CO. During our visit she was able to convince me that it’s time to get a new mattress! She used her Costco membership and we found one. My tax refund money going to a good cause. We think some of the pain I’m going through in my lower body is related to having s bad mattress. To celebrate we went to Jalapeños in Nampa and that way we got to see Uncle John. We are keeping many of our family members near and far in prayer and of course our entire world with all that is going on!

The service this morning was really good. Pastor Jason talked about renovation of our hearts and touched a bit on free will. That God gives us the free will to make choices but ultimately has the final say. Kind of like how I think of God being like the parent ultimately having the say over what happens in the lives of their children. Free will only goes so far. There are consequences for our choices both good and bad. I liked this: “Definition of the heart: where decisions or choices are made for the whole person. “ In thinking about this message about the heart I got more insight on the area I struggle with understanding – free will. It’s the sometimes sketchy area of like all things that once they leave their creator they develop a life….a story independent of their creator. Many things in this world are created and abandoned. We are being reassured that such is not the case with God. Pastor shared something that really affected me. He said there was a point in his life that considered suicide! What a loss it would have been. He wouldn’t be there to help me with aspects of loving and knowing God that I’m struggling with! I like to hear his stories.

Tomorrow morning we are meeting at the Grace House to do some cleaning before furniture is moved in. I hope we get a good turn out to help. https://www.idahograce.com/

The messages from A woman’s Spirit for yesterday and today were about the value of time in our lives and the healing gift of sharing our stories. For me personally, I have found that time and distance have been great healers for coping with difficult things in my life. The farther I get from a situation, the less it hurts. The same can be said for sharing stories about trials I have faced. The more I talk about it the less it hurts each time. Like I mentioned in my Twitch Stream this morning there are generations before mine that don’t like to talk about things they have faced or are facing. They keep it to themselves. I think by doing this they harm themselves and deny others the experience of hearing about hope. It’s like “I have faced this situation. I’m facing a trial but there is hope in it. I got through it…I’m getting through it.” It’s kind of looked down on by many those people who dump their troubles on someone else but I try to remember boundaries and also that even though there are 7 billion plus people on earth, so many people fall through the cracks….. literally have no one they feel they can confide in. I have felt that way before. Only having a therapist to really talk about and talk out what I was going through.

A Woman’s Spirit Messages:

“Time is my friend today. Each minute brings to me an experience I am ready for.”

“All sorrows can be borne if you put them into a story or tell a story about them.” – Isak Dinesen

“I will tell a part of my story to someone today. She may be helped by it, and I will be free from it!”

3 March 2022 Where To Find God – In or Out? Finding Balance

March 3, 2022 by saymber, posted in animals, Bipolar life, human rights, In the News, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Politics and Government, Social media, Spirituality and Religion, trust, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Check out 3 March 2022 Thursday Chat (Late Start) https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1414192132

Hello to you. How are you? Link and I are doing ok. Last night we had a little drama here at the house. I had trimmed the matted hair around Links feet and got the brilliant idea to try and trim his nails. Bad move! Without having someone to hold him I just can’t do it by myself. So….doing extra laundry today to get blood out of it. Felt so bad!!!

On my Twitch Stream today we talked about what’s going on overseas right now. I have been focused on Putin and wanting God to deal with him. From the pictures I’ve seen of him lately he doesn’t look well physically like something is wrong. The Woman’s Spirit message was good but it provoked some questions. We are taught through religion and society to look outside of ourselves for completeness. Many of us as a result don’t know who we are! The Psalm 31 I read was just another crying out to God for help. Alot of the psalms are. Do we have free will or not? Why does it feel like the church of today I see seems to want us to have a codependent relationship with God? What has been coming to me lately is the importance of finding balance- to be able to discern where I am in the equation of having a healthy relationship with the God of my understanding. God may have all the answers but does seem to leave a lot for us to figure out on our own – through our own life experience. Like I said, I struggle with the mentality I see in religion. If we completely turn ourselves over to God where is the free will in that? Are we then nothing more than automatons? How are we to ever know who we truly are if we are always looking outward from ourselves for how to live this life? I think that finding balance is key.

Where do we find God? Outside? Inside? It seems like everywhere if I really think about who and what God is. I’ll never forget sitting with my Dad on my back porch in Texas. We were talking about God and we agreed that God is in everything. I think it’s our expectations that can get in the way of attaining balance in our relationship with the God of all. We put our expectations on how God answers our prayers and I know personally it’s those expectations that sometimes make me not see God is in fact answering prayers. Again it’s a balance between our inner and outer worlds – our spirituality…..our relationship with the God of our understanding.

What just came to me is thinking about prayers being answered like someone playing a strategy game. Many separate pieces have to move for an overall outcome to be achieved…. an ultimate goal to be reached. Just yesterday I saw a good analogy from Elevation Church “God sees the whole puzzle.” God invented the puzzle of this life and knows how all the pieces fit together.

Find balance in and outside yourself and don’t put expectations on your relationship with God – especially with prayers! Let God be God. These are things I am having to work on each day!

A Woman’s Spirit messages for today:

“Time and again I have searched for you, not knowing that it was me I needed to find.” -Betty MacDonald

“I will pay attention to who I am today. I will honor the whole of me. I know genuine happiness can be found only in this way.”

23 January 2022 Lingering

January 23, 2022 by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, drawing, Health, Mental Health, Social media, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

I’m live on Twitch – Watch me at https://twitch.tv/jwygant

Hello to you. How are you? It’s Sunday again and the skies are gray again. It was nice to get a little relief yesterday! I’m not feeling 100% this morning. I keep feeling nauseous. I took some Pepto Bismal, some peppermint tea and a piece of bread and things have settled down. My Aunt and I were trying to decide if we should go to church this morning and decided against it. There is so much crud going around ! I just feel like whatever I had is still lingering!

We are just living in surreal times aren’t we?!!

“Come spirit come my comforter in times of distress. Wrap your light and love around me that I might find rest.”

29 December 2021 Flurries and Wesley

December 29, 2021 by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Health, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, photography, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you. It’s still snowing as I write to you. I don’t know how much we are supposed to get but it doesn’t show any sign of slowing down. If I wasn’t an adult I wouldn’t care. The neighbor kids have their snowsuites on and are having so much fun! I was thinking of how fun it is to make snow angels and then two of them did it! At some point I’m going to have to go unbury my car. Adulting sucks sometimes!

Yesterday I decided to look up an old crush from senior high school and I wasn’t prepared for what I found. He had made a successful career as a manager at Barnes and Noble and as an entertainer. He had been cross dressing and his characters name was Roxy Marquis. He got married to the man he loved. What I wasn’t prepared for was that he got lymphoma and fought the cancer for 4 years. He died in 2020 from it and he was my age- we were a year apart! All the memories I had of him filled my head last night and it was hard to sleep. I had such a crush on him when we were in school! I was too smitten with him to pick up that he was different…that he was gay. He was so beautiful to me. Finding this out evoked a lot of emotions. Why did he have to go through what he did? I felt so scared and sad last night just thinking how hard he fought to live. I hope in his heaven he has peace. RIP Wesley Byers – https://m.startribune.com/obituaries/detail/0000358638/

This morning I found out a friend, Tanya Knight, from my tribe in Alvarado, succumbed to cancer too! She was the most gentle and beautiful woman you could ever meet. Just so vibrant and full of life – she was a healer. I can’t believe she’s gone.

Last night as I was tossing, turning and crying I talked to God. “God I don’t understand suffering and death! It scares me. I feel so powerless – where are you God? Sometimes it just feels like you’ve abandoned us and I don’t want to believe that. Don’t let me waste this gift you have given me…..this life.”

Both Wes and Tanya still have their Facebook pages up. I’m glad they were so I could pay my respects. I didn’t know Facebook did that.

I hope something here resonated. I need to pull myself together and live this day. I think that’s the best way we can honor those who have gone before us – live!

30 November 2021 Evening

December 1, 2021 by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Health, Home, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hi there! How are you? It’s 6:23 pm here as I write to you. It’s dark and Link and I are cuddling on the couch. I’m watching streams on Twitch – Infoxczar is a magic channel pretty cool. I don’t do magic on my channel May be I should learn lol! It’s fun to see live entertainment….Jack is fun.

Today my Aunt talked to me about her friends daughter who is bipolar. She apparently is refusing medication and is paranoid as hell. Her parents are living in a 55 plus community and they have been letting her live with them . Neither she or them have anyplace to go if the property owner decided to evict them. Apparently the girl keeps calling the cops. Speaking as a bipolar, what this family is going through is so tough! One of the hardest aspects of loving someone with this condition is keeping them on their medications.

Just found out my cousins daughter is going in for an emergency hysterectomy tomorrow ! I can remember getting mine and it took some time to heal. I was stupid. Your not supposed to do any heavy lifting and my ex and I tried carrying a small couch home from a furniture store up the street from where we were living. I pray everything goes well for her. She has diabetes so there is that to consider with the surgery.

The friend I just reconnected with recently lost her mom to Alzheimer’s and dementia in October. She’s really struggling with it while being a wonderful mom, wife and student. The holidays will be rough for her. She is strong in her faith in God and that is helping her walk through her grief.

People have stuff going on!! It seems like as soon as one hurdle is put in front of us another equal or more challenging hurdle is put in its place! I’m kind of in the in between place right now. I had a lot of “stuff” happen all within a short period of time. Love conquers the deepest darkness. I am so grateful to love and be loved. The fall I took could have been so much harder.

If you pray could you pray for the people I have mentioned here? For privacy reasons I don’t want to put their names here. I hope everything goes ok for all of them !

Thank you for spending some time with me here.

21 September 2021 Mantra

September 21, 2021 by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Writing and blogging

Hello! How are you today? I hope you are doing well . I am trying to stay in the present moment and stay positive. It’s a beautiful fall morning .

This morning I could feel some anxiety creeping in. I mentally asked for help in relieving it and the answer was “say the mantra.” The only thing I had memorized was the Lords Prayer and Hail Mary so I started saying those over and over. By doing that my anxiety thoughts and feelings were interrupted . When I would stop, the anxiety “stuff” would return.

So then it was time to get up and go for a walk and I was still feeling the anxiety. I decided to just think like a cheerleader! “Let’s do this! “ “We got this!” Anything to relieve the discomfort that anxiety makes me feel! Mornings are rough for me . That tactic worked for a little while!

I have never been good about meditating . I have a monkey mind or “wild mind.” It just goes all over the place! So it was interesting that the help suggested became a combination of Buddhism and Christianity!

Do you have a mantra or prayer that you say that helps you when you are having anxiety ? What helps you quiet things down ?

28 Feb 2021 New Doors

February 28, 2021 by saymber, posted in Exploring numeric value of words in English language, Home, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, trust, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you. How is life treating you as you visit me here? I hope well! When I was thinking of a topic for todays post, New Doors came to mind. If I think about my life these past couple of years, I think of my having to walk through doors. I have had to permanently close doors behind me and get keys to unlock the door ahead of me.

I am not the only one who is having to do this. Just recently my cousin and her husband went through a door I haven’t had to yet and that is the one where you lose a parent. It is a very heavy door to both open, close and lock behind you. They have done it with love and grace. Today when I was over there they were painting the room where his Mother lived and preparing the room to be an apartment for their daughter. I could feel some of the leftover emotions; it’s so hard to move on sometimes but they are doing it!

A prayer I pray at times like these is one my Aunt and I said when they were trying to find a place for my Grandmother to live after they sold her house. It’s a simple prayer but very powerful:

“May the doors that need to open, open. May the doors that need to shut, shut. We pray this in your name, Amen.

That is my prayer for my cousins family, for my family and for anyone reading this today as we move to days of uncertainty ahead. I am hoping that the new doors that open have love, joy and comfort behind them.

“new doors” in the English Ordinal system equals 113 – two selves in a yes, no, may be existence