20 October 2023 Lazy Days

October 21, 2023 by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Health, history, Home, human rights, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Do lazy days make you feel rested or unproductive?

Hello to you. Hope this finds you well. God has been at the wheel of the stuff I’ve been going through lately – extremely grateful for the prayers of family, friends and even strangers! My Aunt met a elderly veteran who gave her this cross for me and said he would pray for me. The wagons of Gods people have been rallied! I’m so, so grateful!

I don’t usually wear crosses because of what they represent – the murder of an innocent man but understand what it means in Christianity.

When I think of todays prompt I think of my life right now gradually getting in place. It’s taken me three years to get where I’m at. Many of the days leading up to this one were littered with fear, sadness and grief – lack of faith! A lot of my days have not very productive and could be perceived as lazy days. I was in such a state of shock leaving Texas. I have been retired from active duty longer than I was in (21 years). When I was active duty I burned the candle at both ends. I was usually the one leadership turned to when a program was a mess. I worked a lot of long days cleaning up messes. Lazy days meant more to me then they do now. I don’t have a specific purpose when I wake up each day! When I was active duty I was up at 4:30 am and worked til after 5.

I haven’t completely found a fit for me here yet in being useful again. A lot of what holds me back is driving. I hate driving! When I was married, Kyle used to always drive and I got used to that after 12 years! I was spoiled! I keep my eyes open for things I can do – little things. When my back is not hurting I would like to help set up at the church again. I don’t want to feel like I’m wasting the gift of my life. A lot of people I’ve known haven’t even lived as long as I have.

One of my favorite passages from the Bible – makes me think of a Palladian (class I played in FFXI video game). In these trying times we must put on our armor!

Ephesians 6:10-13New International Version

The Armor of God

¹⁰Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. ¹¹Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. ¹²For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. ¹³Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.

7 October 2023 Topic Change

October 7, 2023 by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Health, Home, human rights, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, trust, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

What’s a topic or issue about which you’ve changed your mind?

The topic or issue I’ve had the most change about in the past couple of years is spirituality. I have more of a Christ consciousness than I did before. In the past it was simply just God I believed in not so much Jesus. Now after time and experiences the focus has narrowed down to Jesus. I can remember a couple scary lucid dreams I had and the one name I was barely able to say got me free was saying the name Jesus. I have always believed in God but for the longest not just Jesus. I have only just recently declared my belief. Once you say yes to Jesus, you can’t really say no!

I just want to give thanks for my family and friends today. I had something scary happen yesterday and they helped me get through it. I am so blessed to have such a support system!

Psalm 142:7New International Version

⁷Set me free from my prison,
that I may praise your name.
Then the righteous will gather about me
because of your goodness to me.

14 September 2023 Favorite Word

September 14, 2023 by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Health, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

What’s your favorite word?

Hi there. I’m just back from our Thursday prayer meeting and getting groceries. I’m grateful for the gathering today and the prayers for my health by the folks gathered there. Which leads me to one of my top favorite words gratitude. Adopting an attitude of gratitude in any season of life can really make it easier to get through. It’s focusing not on what’s on wrong but what’s right. There have been times lately with the stuff I’m going through that I have wanted to give up. Getting into a gratitude attitude has pushed me through those times.

Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” (1 Thessalonians 5:18)

“Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his name.” (Psalm 100:4)

19 August 2022 Positive Emotion

August 19, 2023 by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Television, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

What positive emotion do you feel most often?

Hello to you. How are you ? I hope this finds you well. I am doing ok. I had my first dose of Ambien last night and it didn’t interfere with my sleep which was a good thing. It sometimes takes awhile to see what different medicines will do.

The positive emotion I feel the most is gratitude. I’m so grateful to God, the people and animals that are in my life. So much of how my life is right now is thanks to God. My life is manageable and not more than I can handle.

“ the attitude of gratitude turns a frown upside down”

Psalm 107:1-3New International Version

Psalm 107

¹Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good;
his love endures forever.

²Let the redeemed of the Lord tell their story—
those he redeemed from the hand of the foe,
³those he gathered from the lands,
from east and west, from north and south.^[a]

Ephesians 5:18-20New International Version

¹⁸Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit,¹⁹speaking to one another with psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit. Sing and make music from your heart to the Lord, ²⁰always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.

8 August 2023 Days Like These

August 8, 2023 by saymber, posted in Animal Rights, animals, history, Home, human rights, In the News, Leading Life by Example, Money, Politics and Government, Science (Keshe Foundation and other innovations), Social media, Spirituality and Religion, trust, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you. It’s Tuesday and another lovely day. We got some much needed rain again yesterday – I even took a walk in it! No scary dreams last night just something about paying out money to family to include my parents lol. What strange movies the brain makes!

The title of my blog today is me being in observer mode and seeing a pattern with the world. We’ve had dark days before and come through but will we come through these? There is a lot of stuff on social media I’m seeing that is painting a dark confusing picture. This is nothing new really. These are the worst of times. These are the best of times. These are confusing times – which way to go?! Everything is put on us all at once- thank you internet! We have major cities being taken over by homeless who are on drugs, AI and robots taking over the world, inflation, an election coming up, increased veterinary fees, no access or little access to decent medical care, war, weird stuff going on with the beings living in the oceans and seas and now aliens…on and on! No wonder the average American is burned out and doesn’t care! Most people just tune it all out and don’t pay attention unless what’s happening directly affects them. So many people are in survivor mode!

As Christian’s and children of God we must keep our lights on even as hard as it can be. Earth school is definitely in session! I’m glad I’ve chosen team Jesus. There is hope in him and his promises.

Psalm 18:28New International Version

²⁸You, Lord, keep my lamp burning;
my God turns my darkness into light.

A couple areas of interest I pay attention to is animals and robotics. Both categories don’t have a very good track record with regards to rights:

Euthanized animal statistics – we’ve got to do better!

On average, 1.5 million shelter animals are euthanized every year in the United States. Shelters around the country euthanize an estimated 670,000 dogs and 860,000 cats each year. 45% of all cats who enter shelters are eventually euthanized.Jul 11, 2023

https://youtu.be/MS-m3UWw-To – more pets abandoned with rising cost of post pandemic

https://amp.sacbee.com/news/local/article276077491.html – Sacramento shelters surge with abandoned animals in past year after COVID slowdown

https://ktla.com/news/local-news/food-delivery-robots-under-attack-from-vandals-thieves-local-businesses-starting-to-be-affected/amp/ – what would happen if humanoid robots like Sophia or Ameca were attacked?

7 August 2023 Happiness

August 7, 2023 by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Food, Health, Leading Life by Example, Music, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

List 30 things that make you happy.

Hello to you. How are you? Todays prompt is tough for me as I think it’s been since before my divorce I’ve been truly happy. Last night I dreamt about being with my ex and we were so happy in the dream he suggested we put our wedding rings back on- talk about my brain manufacturing wishful thinking! Yet it was so vivid and romantic! Truth be told though that ship has definitely sailed. As the years pass since the divorce the more I have come to believe that Kyle was it for me. I always said if I couldn’t make things work with him I would end up alone. Being Bipolar 1 has been a marriage/relationship killer for me.

So what makes me happy? Let’s see – food like desserts, Link, my family, a good movie or television show, a good song, nature (especially flowers and clouds), Jesus – experiencing him at Church and in the world, helping others and that’s about it. Can’t come up with 30!

Something I want to mention happened this past Sunday at church both moved me and made me happy. We were singing and I stopped to look around and I almost started to cry. I thought what if this is like heaven? The song we were singing was Blessed Assurance. One of the reasons I almost cried too was hearing a little girl behind me singing her little heart out! So sweet! I just got to thinking about what heaven might be like. A place where there is peace – no fighting – and a lot of beautiful music all day long every day. I miss singing next to my Mom and Dad at church. The Catholic Church has such beautiful hyms,

https://youtu.be/Bsdl8DSZfRo – Elevation Worship Blessed Assurance (lyric video)

Blessed Assurance

Lyrics

Blessed assurance, Jesus is mine!
Oh, what a foretaste of glory divine!
Heir of salvation, purchase of God
Born of his Spirit, washed in His blood

This is my story, this is my song
Praising my Savior all the day long
This is my story, this is my song
Praising my Savior all the day long

Perfect submission, perfect delight
Visions of rapture now burst on my sight
Angels descending bring from above
Echoes of mercy, whispers of love

This is my story, this is my song
Praising my Savior all the day long
This is my story, this is my song
Praising my Savior all the day long
Praising my Savior all the day long

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Don Wyrtzen / Fanny Crosby / Phoebe Knapp

Blessed Assurance lyrics © Word Music Llc, Integrity Music, Word Music, Llc, Curb Word Music

Ecclesiastes 3:12-13 NIV12

I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live. 13 That each of them may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all their toil-this is the gift of God.

4 August 2023 Random Act Of Kindness

August 4, 2023 by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Health, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Nature, Science (Keshe Foundation and other innovations), Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Write about a random act of kindness you’ve done for someone.

Hello to you. How are you? I’m feeling pretty good. I spoke with my doctor yesterday and we worked out a plan. I will be doubling my dose of Depakote (1000mg) and going back to 10 mg of the Olanzapine at night. I’m not going to be taking the Abilify. I will also have the olanzapine for as needed as sometimes that happens. I was grateful he called me back! It felt like an answered prayer as I was feeling pretty left out there. Prayer said out loud in a group really works fast!

I like todays prompt but I can’t remember specific times I’ve done it! It’s a combination of it being a long time since I’ve had a *mission and being taught not to toot your own horn! Don’t let your left hand know what your right hand is doing kind of thing. I’m sure I’ve done good things but I’m so in the moment I forget later what I’ve done. When I was younger and had more energy I used to do a lot more – my ex and I liked helping people together. On my own I can remember paying someone’s toll. When I was working with the homeless I can remember giving them a ride a couple times. I remember my ex telling me a couple stories. He helped a guy at a gas station with a ride and once he was at the video game store and the person in front of him was short a dollar. He paid the dollar. Well that very same day I was cutting the lawn guess what blew into the yard? A dollar bill!

*When I talk about a mission I’m talking about those times when I’ve spontaneously decided to go somewhere and it’s like a God thing. I’m exactly where and when I’m supposed to be there. It’s usually meeting someone who needs me or that person will have a message for me.

Matthew 6:3New International Version

³But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing,

I was looking through my spiritual playlist on my YouTube channel and this was at the top. Dr. Emoto’s work with water is very inspiring:

https://youtu.be/tAvzsjcBtx8– Water, Consciousness & Intent : Dr. Masaru Emoto

27 July 2023 Someone Cares

July 27, 2023 by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Health, Mental Health, Nature, photography, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hi there! How is your week going this far? I’m just back from the Thursday prayer meeting – so glad I went. I got to meet a new person and as a group we talked about something we all had in common – a family member committing suicide and mental health. The pain of the loss be it fresh or a few years down the road never really goes away. Time numbs the wounds, faith restores hope. Some day we will see each other again! Mental Health is so hard to understand. It’s not like a broken bone or a one time problem you can just snap your fingers and fix. Suicide attempts are not just attention seeking but a legitimate cry for help.

Along these lines it comes to me to put it out in the cosmos that no matter what life may seem to be someone cares. For example, in a little gathering of four people just today, strangers to you, lifted you up in prayer. Someone cares about you no matter how it may seem. You are not alone! God has shown me this through my family both blood and not.

Exodus 33:14

¹⁴ The LORD replied, “My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.”

Psalm 139:7

⁷ Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence?

I was happy to see the return of these purple flowers

Matthew 26:41New International Version

⁴¹“Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.”

*RIP Sinead O’Connor – they haven’t said how she died but I have my suspicions from her history. I hope she has found peace.

5 July 2023 Expressing Gratitude

July 5, 2023 by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Home, Mental Health, Nature, photography, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

How do you express your gratitude?

Hello there. We survived another 4th of July! The people firing off fireworks last night weren’t as intense as last year. I’m thankful for that! I just had a walk around the block and no loose dogs or cats which is a blessing. We had a wonderful visit with my Aunt, Uncle, cousin and his wife yesterday. Lots of good food – huge hot dogs! They brought the bike over but I couldn’t ride it without feeling like it was going to tip over. My balance just wasn’t there! So we are leaving the bike with them. So another “can’t” on the books. I’m not sure if it’s just because it had three wheels or just me not being able to balance. Everybody else was able to ride it. When they had a two wheel bike I had no problem riding it but that was before I had the swaying issues in my head.

Todays prompt makes me think of my family and friends. So much to be thankful for and the way I have expressed my gratitude has mostly been words these past couple of years. When I was a child, my Mom taught me to write thank you notes when I received gifts for birthdays and Christmas. I haven’t written a thank you note in a long time! Ever since this whatever I’ve got going on in my head, writing with a pen and paper has become more difficult. I’m thankful I can still type and text!

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18. Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

1 July 2023 Keeping Life Fresh

July 1, 2023 by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Health, Mental Health, Nature, photography, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you. It’s 89 degrees here as I write to you. I was going to sit outside and write but it’s too hot!

My thoughts today turn to thinking about keeping life fresh. Lately my life has been feeling like Ground Hog Day. Very little deviation from routine. Sometimes I will be ready to do my daily sit ups and wonder if I already did them! Inside of me I am wanting more but my body is resisting. What keeps happening is I get this fullness in my ears and I will feel anxious and hypersensitive to my body. The Mal de Barque stuff. My lower back has not been my friend either. I try to walk and I feel like a weeble wobble huffing and puffing almost the whole walk in pain. The only thing that seems to help the hypersensitivity is taking the olanzapine right now. I will be starting to do the taper off of it starting tomorrow. My doctor wants to taper me off of it because it’s notorious, along with the Depakote, for causing weight gain. We are going to try Abilify (aripiprazole) instead of Olanzapine – I hope it works as well for anxiety, weight gain and hypersensitivity.

I try to stay in the understanding that I am blessed to have the life I have even with it’s short comings! As I keep saying it’s not what I can’t do but what I can. Hopefully with the medicine change I will feel stronger and like I can do more to keep my life fresh.

I love seeing roses ready to bloom – especially the two tone ones

Psalm 147:3-5New International Version

³He heals the brokenhearted
and binds up their wounds.
⁴He determines the number of the stars
and calls them each by name.
⁵Great is our Lord and mighty in power;
his understanding has no limit.