16 March 2022 Tapestry

March 16, 2022 by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, books, drawing, history, human rights, In the News, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Nature, photography, Politics and Government, Science (Keshe Foundation and other innovations), Social media, Spirituality and Religion, technology, trust, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Check out 16 March 2022 Wednesday chat https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1427420115

Hello to you. How are you today? I’m feeling a little tired but it will pass. Things are doing things!! I didn’t know it but apparently the UN is trying to come up with a global plastic treaty. I think that’s great. My only concern is that once the treaty is made that it will actually be enforced! Kind of like laws. Laws are great on paper but are worthless if there is no one to enforce them! https://news.mongabay.com/2022/02/as-world-drowns-in-plastic-waste-u-n-to-hammer-out-global-treaty/amp/ The other thing is daylight savings. Our Senate is putting a bill forward that would make it permanent – no more setting our clocks to fall back: https://amp.cnn.com/cnn/2022/03/15/politics/senate-daylight-saving-time-permanent/index.html.

Todays message from A Woman’s Spirit is so good I am going to share all of it:

We are who we are, shaped and molded by the times, by the events, and by the persons we encounter on our way, and no one ever changes very much or escapes entirely from that mold. – Ruth Casey

Everything we experience today is woven with all that has gone before. We are a tapestry in progress. We grow and change, heightening some of our patterns, successfully diminishing others, and maintaining still others. We need feel more shame for this person we’ve become; we’ve done our best. From this point forward, with the help of the program, our Higher Power , and the wonderful friendships that sustain us, we will add many new colors and stronger threads to the tapestry that continues to be us.

Even though there is often much we want to change in ourselves, there is much that will and should stay the same. Let’s trust God will guide our efforts in changing those traits that deserve our attention now, leaving the rest for another time. We have been loved, guided, and protected even though we are not perfect. That will be true always.

All that has gone before will help me handle whatever today offers. I am in Gods keeping now and forever.

______________

Today this Psalm 103 resonated. I was looking for a Psalm to read for my Twitch video and I came across this one with lots of it highlighted! May be there is something within it that will resonate with you too:

Psalm 103New International Version

Psalm 103

Of David.

¹Praise the Lord,^(A) my soul;^(B)
    all my inmost being, praise his holy name.^(C)
²Praise the Lord,^(D) my soul,
    and forget not^(E) all his benefits—
³who forgives all your sins^(F)
    and heals^(G) all your diseases,
⁴who redeems your life^(H) from the pit
    and crowns you with love and compassion,^(I)
⁵who satisfies^(J) your desires with good things
    so that your youth is renewed^(K) like the eagle’s.^(L)

⁶The Lord works righteousness^(M)
and justice for all the oppressed.^(N)

⁷He made known^(O) his ways^(P) to Moses,
    his deeds^(Q) to the people of Israel:
⁸The Lord is compassionate and gracious,^(R)
    slow to anger, abounding in love.
⁹He will not always accuse,
    nor will he harbor his anger forever;^(S)
¹⁰he does not treat us as our sins deserve^(T)
    or repay us according to our iniquities.
¹¹For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
    so great is his love^(U) for those who fear him;^(V)
¹²as far as the east is from the west,
    so far has he removed our transgressions^(W) from us.

¹³As a father has compassion^(X) on his children,
    so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him;
¹⁴for he knows how we are formed,^(Y)
    he remembers that we are dust.^(Z)
¹⁵The life of mortals is like grass,^(AA)
    they flourish like a flower^(AB) of the field;
¹⁶the wind blows^(AC) over it and it is gone,
    and its place^(AD) remembers it no more.
¹⁷But from everlasting to everlasting
    the Lord’s love is with those who fear him,
    and his righteousness with their children’s children^(AE)—
¹⁸with those who keep his covenant^(AF)
    and remember^(AG) to obey his precepts.^(AH)

¹⁹The Lord has established his throne^(AI)in heaven,
and his kingdom rules^(AJ) over all.

²⁰Praise the Lord,^(AK) you his angels,^(AL)
    you mighty ones^(AM) who do his bidding,^(AN)
    who obey his word.
²¹Praise the Lord, all his heavenly hosts,^(AO)
    you his servants^(AP) who do his will.
²²Praise the Lord, all his works^(AQ)
    everywhere in his dominion.

Praise the Lord, my soul.^(AR)

12 March 2022 Programming

March 12, 2022 by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, drawing, dreams, Health, history, Home, human rights, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Music, Social media, Spirituality and Religion, technology, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Check out 12 March 2022 Saturday chat https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1423415704

Hello to you. How are you today? I hope this finds you well. It’s a sunny Saturday here. My first night on the new mattress went pretty well. I had lots of dreams so know that I actually fell asleep!

Todays message in A Woman’s Spirit had to do with how we process what our external world says about us. Says we should be. Says what we are. It’s all programming! When we were younger we didn’t have boundaries or an internal filter… life experience to be able to discern whether or not what the world and the people in our lives said to and about us. I know I mostly absorbed external inputs as truths whether they were true or not! I think that’s why it’s so rough for young people on social media. They don’t have the maturity to discern what is true and what isn’t….for many it’s all truth and that’s were self harm, suicide and eating disorders come in. What we put into our bodies and souls goes into our brain and becomes thoughts which then become action….the manifestation of our living reality. It’s so important to really pay attention to what we put into our CPU aka brain. Garbage in….garbage out!

The message today is so good I decided to put it all in this post. You become what you think about the most….what you “worship.” Put good stuff into yourself!

A Woman’s Spirit:

The subconscious works to create the reality according to the programming it has been fed.- Susan Smith Jones

The mind is seldom quiet. Even when we don’t think we are thinking, we are. Our lives reflect our thoughts. It should be obvious that the way to get a better life is to think better thoughts. If it’s that easy, why don’t we have more productive, joy-filled lives?

As youngsters we learned to interpret the faces and the comments of those close to us. That helped us determine how to evaluate ourselves as adults.

Just as the messages we heard in the past told us who we were, the messages we hear now do likewise. But as adults, we can now decide which messages to accept: some we should cherish, many we should discard. We have the maturity now to replace them at will.

I don’t have to accept how anyone defines me today. I can give myself only positive input. My output will reflect it.

https://youtu.be/zHDrHRmaQjQ -Anilah Medicine Chant

8 March 2022 Learning Lessons

March 8, 2022 by saymber, posted in Animal Rights, Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, drawing, history, human rights, In the News, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Nature, Science (Keshe Foundation and other innovations), Spirituality and Religion, technology, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Check out 8 March 2022 Tuesday chat https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1419331338

Hello to you! How are you doing today? It’s cloudy here this morning. I hope we get some rain we really need it. We are having a drought here in Idaho.

Todays message in A Woman’s Spirit talks about letting other people learn their own lessons. I have always been the kind of person that has trouble just staying on my own side of the street and not trying to go over and clean another persons. For example I used to have a problem with feeling like I had to pick up trash. It was a very strong compulsion until it really sunk in that by picking up after people I was just enabling their behavior. There is so much we do in this world that we think is helping to solve a problem but really is just enabling undesirable behaviors. I saw it with the Animal Shelter back in Alvarado. People would dump their dogs and cats. The shelter would pick them up and the shelter would get full. The shelter would then have to take extreme measures to try and get the animals adopted, get emptied out and the whole cycle would start all over. People just kept getting away with being irresponsible. I see so much of that in its various forms. If there is no consequences people just keep doing things that are not ok. The other day I saw this article about Boyan Slats Ocean Cleanup operation: https://www.vox.com/platform/amp/down-to-earth/22949475/ocean-plastic-pollution-cleanup and it was an interesting perspective about what operations like Boyans do. More needs to be done to make companies and people responsible for the mess they are making. There are so many flaws with the creation of plastics and other things that end up in landfills and our waterways. It’s like no one thinks about the life cycle of their products – environmental impact- before they make things. I started doing that and I don’t make things like I used to….and it’s ok.

A Woman’s Spirit message:

“Change comes about when we stop trying to shape up the other person and begin to observe patterns and find new options for our own behavior.” – Harriet Lerner

“Accepting that we can’t change someone else affects every detail of our lives. Many of us have spent years frustrated, even frantic at times, trying to control the actions and opinions of others.”

This psalm 46 really resonated – a power ballad of words for what’s going on these days:

Psalm 46New International Version

Psalm 46^[a]

For the director of music. Of the Sons of Korah. According to alamoth.^[b] A song.

¹God is our refuge^(A) and strength,^(B)
    an ever-present^(C) help^(D) in trouble.^(E)
²Therefore we will not fear,^(F) though the earth give way^(G)
    and the mountains fall^(H) into the heart of the sea,^(I)
³though its waters roar^(J) and foam^(K)
    and the mountains quake^(L) with their surging.^[c]

⁴There is a river^(M) whose streams^(N)make glad the city of God,^(O)
    the holy place where the Most High^(P)dwells.^(Q)
⁵God is within her,^(R) she will not fall;^(S)
    God will help^(T) her at break of day.
⁶Nations^(U) are in uproar,^(V) kingdoms^(W)fall;
    he lifts his voice,^(X) the earth melts.^(Y)

⁷The Lord Almighty^(Z) is with us;^(AA)
the God of Jacob^(AB) is our fortress.^(AC)

⁸Come and see what the Lord has done,^(AD)
    the desolations^(AE) he has brought on the earth.
⁹He makes wars^(AF) cease
    to the ends of the earth.
He breaks the bow^(AG) and shatters the spear;
    he burns the shields^[d] with fire.^(AH)
¹⁰He says, “Be still, and know that I am God;^(AI)
    I will be exalted^(AJ) among the nations,
    I will be exalted in the earth.”

¹¹The Lord Almighty is with us;
the God of Jacob^(AK) is our fortress.^(AL)

2 March 2022 Wednesday

March 2, 2022 by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, drawing, Health, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Politics and Government, Social media, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Check out 2 March 2022 Wednesday chat https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1413179695

Hello to you. How are you? I’m doing ok. Last night was rough again. My right leg has been giving me pains but I was able to get some relief by focusing on thinking of God healing it. I had to ask myself what I wanted and focus on that.

I listened to the state of the union address last night. There were a lot of good things discussed but I found myself feeling skeptical though. He talked about wanting to fix so many things that have been going on for such a long time. Will the powers and principalities of our world let him do anything he talked about?! What do I want?! Meaningful and lasting change that benefits every citizen not just a few. Let’s see if “they” let him do anything. Definitely a prayer item!

Speaking of prayers my Uncles sister is in the hospital not doing well. Please keep Pam in your prayers! Seems like everywhere I turn, near and far prayers are needed! I can’t turn a blind eye to suffering. I try to remind myself though, the question I have to ask myself about it all, “what do I want?!” It’s so important to remember the power we all have. We can choose what and who we give our personal to- what we focus our energy on. If we focus on anxiety and things that we fear there will be more of that. What we focus on expands and gains power in our lives. If we can mind our thoughts we are using our freedom. The rest we have to let God about!

I want to remind you that everything I write and talk about in my Twitch Streams is to remind myself too!!

Todays A Woman’s Spirit message was about letting people live their lives and learn the lessons they need to learn. The necessity of boundaries between ourselves and others. I struggle with boundaries! I struggle with making other peoples problems my problems. We live in such an interconnected world. What our neighbors, family, friends and even coworkers do with their individual lives ultimately affects all of us. It’s hard for me to ignore that reality and just focus on my own life. I guess I’ve always looked at life as being a big picture. What’s key I guess is making sure what I am doing with my own life doesn’t adversely impact myself and all the living beings I share this life with. It’s hard to do sometimes! Everything is cause and effect.

“I have enough to do to just to live my life today. I can show my love for others best if I let them live their lives too.” (A Woman’s Spirit)

Enabling: n. 1. a process whereby someone (i.e., the enabler) contributes to continued maladaptive or pathological behavior (e.g., child abuse, substance abuse) in another person.

19 February 2022 Redirecting the Trains on our Brains

February 19, 2022 by saymber, posted in animals, Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, drawing, Health, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Social media, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Check out 19 February 2022 Saturday chat (psalm 19) https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1303273522

Hello to you. How is your day? I’m sitting here in the morning sunshine as I write to you. It’s about 41 degrees and just feels so good. I just got off the phone with my sweet cousin. I love it when she and I can talk in the morning. She is so positive – just starts the day off right! We talk about matters of the spirit, love and family…..the good stuff we are grateful for in this life. I hope you have someone like that in your life. We are cousins but dear friends too. Just trying to navigate this life together.

On the Twitch stream today what came forth was trains again. How hard it is when the train of sorrow, anxiety and worry gets on the track. Everyone knows how hard it is to stop a train once it is in motion. So what I’ve been working on is talking to the conductor! Telling the conductor by my thoughts and actions that I don’t like the direction the train is going. I want to go in a different direction or to get off the rails completely. I am having to practice this every day. The first place I am learning to turn to is God…”hey God do you think you can help me get through this day?”

It’s hard when your in the middle of things to sometimes have the presence of mind to be still and think clearly. It just takes a lot of practice! “What can I do about what is going on or what I am experiencing right now?” A lot of times the answer seems to be nothing. What I am trying to learn after I ask that question and get that answer is to accept I am powerless but I can talk to God about it. Your Higher Power is ever present and unchanging. So really we are never completely powerless it just can feel like we are.

When that train of whatever it is gets on the track- I have a choice if I want to stay on it. I have the ability to talk to the conductor. We can change course, slow the train down and eventually get off of it altogether. Like anything it just takes practice – everyday.

It’s important to stay in the present – I’m having to practice every day

“I have come to believe that all of my fears are false gods before me.” – Mary Casey (A Woman’s Spirit)

“Any fear I have today is of my choosing. Dwelling on God rather than on the fear will change every experience I have today.” (A Woman’s Spirit)

18 February 2022 First Night Trying Doxepin To Sleep

February 18, 2022 by saymber, posted in animals, Bipolar life, drawing, dreams, Health, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Social media, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Check out 18 February 2022 Friday chat (psalm 18) https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1302099821

It’s so frustrating when you want something to work and it doesn’t really!

Hello to you. How are you? It’s Friday….we made it! The sun is shining – yay! It’s been a long week.

Well last night I took Doxepin for a test drive to see if it would help me sleep. I started with one capsule and didn’t feel anything. I took another one and that seemed to help for a short while. I still ended up taking a Hydroxyzine which helped for a couple hours. So frustrating. Apparently doctors don’t like to prescribe Seroquel which I’ve heard people use for sleep: Seroquel and other antipsychotics are particularly dangerous for elderly patients and can lead to aspiration pneumonia, which is a common cause of death in elderly patients. Seroquel also causes significant excessive weight gain, which can be a factor in the development of Type 2 Diabetes.

So Anyhew…..I will keep pressing forward and hope I get enough sleep! I must have slept last night because I had a dream about my dog Spot. She came to me and I was holding her and just crying. I miss her so much. The only way we get to be together is in dreams.

The stream this morning was ok. In the Woman’s Spirit book the message had to do with control. That resonated with me as a I dealt with that issue much of my life. I learned from a very early age the the only thing I really had control of was my body. That’s what the anorexia and bulemia battles were about. I didn’t feel I had control of my life so I took control of my body. What I have had to learn is the tighter you hold on to what you can’t control the more power you give to what you dont want to be happening. It’s hard to let go of feeling like you have to be in control. I was the kind of person at work that would try to do everything because I didn’t trust in the abilities of those around me to get the job done right. I burned myself out big time and obstructed the way for those around me to learn what they needed to learn.

The other part of the stream was psalm 18 – boy was that a long one! I didn’t like it very much because it seemed to be a warrior talking about a battle and God helping him fight it. I don’t like war. In my opinion no one wins a war really. I think of all my fellow veterans and how many of them suffer from PTSD. Even if they are on the “winning side” they still lose so much of themselves. You can’t unsee the horrors of war. You can talk to God, go to church, take medication, go to therapy, exercise and have a healthy diet and still be tormented by what you have been through. Time and distance from what torments seems to be what really helps. Layers of time to bury the past. It frustrates me that there is so much war in the Bible specially when one of the 10 Commandments is thou shall not kill!

“The more I force things, the tougher my life.” – Helen Neujahr (A Woman’s Spirit)

“I don’t need to control anyone today. I am not insecure just as long as I let my Higher Power take charge of my affairs.” (A Woman’s Spirit)

15 February 2022 Feeding the Negative Energies

February 15, 2022February 15, 2022 by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, drawing, Health, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Check out 15 February 2022 Tuesday morning chat https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1298839932

Check out 15 February 2022 Tuesday morning chat https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1298850679

Hello to you. How is your day going? I’m sitting here with a cup of coffee as I write to you. Last night was another battle with sleep. What also made it hard was Link wasn’t feeling good and he kept me up too. I realized that I was feeding the negative energies by struggling so much and getting mad. I got mad at Link and it wasn’t his fault! I tried to meditate and tell my body to relax but I just couldn’t get still in myself enough to do it. I don’t know if the Hydroxyzine is going to work for me. It only gets me a couple hours of sleep at a time. I left a message for my doctor this morning to see if we can talk about alternatives. Honestly I’m kind of scared to play with more pills but I can’t keep going on like I am either. When I go too long without good sleep is when I get manic — danger zone!

Storms are swirling around me right now and I have to be strong in God

I want to shift into positive energies. I want to consciously make better choices. I don’t want to continue to allow forces outside of myself to drive “my car.” I want to believe that God will help me get through this phase of my life. I want to believe there will be relief from what is happening right now.

“Choices are not irrevocable….They can be remade. “ – Julie Riebe (A Woman’s Spirit)

“I will choose carefully today. If a change of mind is in my best interest, then I can change my mind.” (A Woman’s Spirit)

14 February 2022 Valentines

February 14, 2022February 14, 2022 by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, drawing, Health, Home, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Television, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Check out 14 February 2022 Monday Valentines Day chat https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1297901452

Hello to you. How are you today? Hope this finds you well. It’s Valentines Day. For some this is a very special day. The retail industry loves this holiday! My take on it is if you are in a relationship with someone that everyday is Valentine’s Day! Don’t ever take each other for granted. Don’t wait for a holiday to show your special somebody that you care. When I was married we didn’t celebrate Valentines. We felt the holiday was just too commercialized. To each their own!

Got good news yesterday. My Dad was in and out of surgery for his fractured hip! I was really surprised he got in so quickly! Thank you for your prayers. Now he just has to heal.

We had a nice day yesterday. My Aunt and Uncle joined me at church which was such a treat! They got there before me and had told the pastor and some others it was my birthday so when I showed up they wished me a happy birthday! They had a little bouquet of flowers for me. It just really meant a lot! The big point of the sermon really resonated with me: “we do what we can in order to enable us to do what we can’t .” So much of my day to day is pushing through – trying to focus on what I can do not what I can’t.

Later Link and I went over to my Aunt and Uncles. My cousin, who was also celebrating his birthday and his wife my dear friend was there. My Aunt made tamales and also made my chocolate pudding dessert! My Uncle grilled some elk steak on the grill. Later my cousins older grandkids stopped by and we all watched some of the Super Bowl. It was just really nice to be together! I’m so grateful to have loving family to celebrate these kinds of occasions with.

When I got home I was really anxious so I took Link on a walk. Then I went on another walk by myself. What was happening is I was getting sleepy and felt anxious thinking about trying to go to sleep. So frustrating! I finally did relax and watched the last quarter of the Super Bowl. My Uncle and I had spoken earlier about the LA stadium apparently it cost like 5 billion dollars to build! The LA stadium is practically in his backyard and so we had decided to pull for the Rams! It was nice to see them actually win.

“I will take time to notice the most important friends I have, my family. Each family member will get my love and kind thoughts today. “ (A Woman’s Spirit)

The weather has been nice. I was feeling restless so I got out and chalked a bit

11 February 2022 Pills and Dessert

February 11, 2022 by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, drawing, Health, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Social media, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Check out 11 February 2022 Friday morning chat https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1294588326

Hello to you. It’s Friday! We made it through another week. Sometimes that feels like a miracle.

I wanted to briefly talk about my experience with Hydroxyzine. It was prescribed to me to help me with anxiety but an beneficial side effect was drowsiness. When I took it I was able to relax and sleep. Well I had to get refills yesterday and they told me they changed manufacturers but assured me it was the same pill. NOPE! The new stuff doesn’t make me sleepy and the other night when I took it, it actually made me want to pace my house in the middle of the night! There is a difference between one manufacturer and another. My body noticed! Thankfully last night I just took my lithium and was able to sleep most of the night. I’m so tired of this but I’m not going to let it get me down.

The recipe can change just enough that you notice

I wanted to share with you my favorite birthday dessert- it sounds like my Aunt is making it for Sunday. My cousin and I will be celebrating our birthdays together!

Mom Schmidt’s chocolate dessert

Crust: mix 1/2 cup melted butter, 1 cup flour and 1/2 cup chopped nuts (optional) spread into a 9×13 pan and bake at 350 degrees for 15 minutes. Let cool and then add

2nd layer: mix 1 cup powdered sugar, 1 cup Cool Whip and 8 oz cream cheese. Then add

3rd layer: 2 pkgs instant chocolate pudding, 3 cups milk and 1 tsp vanilla. Once this layer sets top this last layer with the remaining Cool Whip and nuts if desired. Chill and serve.

The message from A Woman’s Spirit book today was about developing your inner voice. How do you talk to yourself? Is your inner voice nurturing or a reflection of the critical voices you used to hear around you? I’ve been working on cultivating an inner voice that speaks to me like a best friend would. It takes time and effort to reprogram ourselves from our early programming – from our earliest selves.

“I can listen to a loving inner voice if I practice loving myself and others today.” (A Woman’s Spirit)

9 February 2022 Messengers

February 9, 2022 by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, drawing, Mental Health, Social media, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Check out 9 February 2022 Wednesday morning chat https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1292413476

Discord: https://discord.gg/DAs7rfxy

Hello! How are you today? I’m doing alright. This morning as I was laying in bed I got to thinking about messengers. An image came to mind of me standing in front of many doors. Each door representing a person with a message. Who do I listen to?

Last night I was craving to hear a spiritual message so I looked up Joyce Meyer on You tube and that helped. Sometimes her words really resonate with me other times not. It’s good to have messengers. People that you listen to that help you navigate this life. I am realizing, however, that it’s important to have a strong relationship with the God of your understanding AND yourself. Any messenger you choose to listen to is not going to be there forever. Nothing in this life is permanent be it people, places or things. It’s important to be strong in what is unchanging…..fixed…won’t leave you. When the storms come, and they do, you have a strong shelter. This is stuff I have to work on every day! I’m learning you can’t completely rely on what’s outside of you to get through life. People say things like they will always be there for you but it’s not the truth. They are mentally, spiritually and physically incapable of doing that no matter how well meaning they may be. You have to be able to be strong in your relationship with God and yourself. Like I said this is a lesson I have to learn and relearn each day!

“ Every thought I take to God is a prayer. Today I’ll be free of anxiety if I think of God before every action I take.” (A Woman’s Spirit)