Tag: family

24 Jan 2025 Where To Turn

by saymber, posted in Health, Home, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you. I hope you are well and if you’re not, and many people are not, I hope you have a good support system. Have you considered surrendering your life to Jesus? Lately I have been seeing so many people at a loss of where to turn when their lives are falling apart. I saw this a lot prior to the Tik Tok ban – people just didn’t know what to do! They made posts and just cried. When I saw these videos I just found myself asking, “do you believe in God? Have you talked to God about your problems?”

I am a relatively new Christian and prior to surrendering to Jesus I thought I had to carry the weight of the world on my own two shoulders. Thankfully when I reached my bottom with my mental health and my marriage God put people in my life to give me a soft place to land. I spent so many hours on the phone with my cousins wife Tawna! She thankfully had the time in her life that she could be there for the countless walk and talks on the phone. I spent time on the phone with much of my Idaho family – I walked miles talking to them. Things were so bad I couldn’t leave the house without having someone on the phone. I couldn’t eat a meal without someone on the phone. What was missing in all that drama was my being willing to turn to Jesus. They already believed in him and prayed for me and that gave them the spiritual strength to help me navigate the personal haunted hell I was living in. I just couldn’t see my own way out!

I surrendered to the Holy Spirit when I wanted to be free of alcoholism and it worked in a powerful way. Door after door opened and shut with that surrender. For some reason I didn’t do that in Texas. I guess I had been a pagan so long (12 years) that I didn’t think I could do it. I didn’t think I could turn myself completely to Jesus.

Right now I’m in the process of working with Jesus about my health and the answer is he is healing me in his time and way not mine. Some of what is going on with me will probably never change because there is no cure – just treatment and management. Jesus is showing me that. I just have to know where to turn when times get tough. Sometimes through prayer and reaching out Jesus uses the people in my life as his body to assist. That’s what we are all here for!

https://youtu.be/JMj1ggINLe4?si=W9Kt3RCeA8A0z1cm – The Chosen Jesus Heals at the Pool

John 5New English Translation

Healing a Paralytic at the Pool of Bethesda

5 After this[a] there was a Jewish feast,[b] and Jesus went up to Jerusalem. 2 Now there is[c] in Jerusalem by the Sheep Gate[d] a pool called Bethzatha[e] in Aramaic,[f] which has five covered walkways.[g] 3 A great number of sick, blind, lame, and paralyzed people were lying in these walkways.[h] 5 Now a man was there who had been disabled for thirty-eight years.[i] 6 When Jesus saw him lying there and when he realized[j] that the man[k] had been disabled a long time already, he said to him, “Do you want to become well?” 7 The sick man answered him, “Sir,[l] I have no one to put me into the pool when the water is stirred up. While I am trying to get into the water,[m] someone else[n] goes down there[o] before me.” 8 Jesus said to him, “Stand up! Pick up your mat[p] and walk.” 9 Immediately the man was healed,[q] and he picked up his mat[r] and started walking. (Now that day was a Sabbath.)[s]

8 Jan 2025 Long Life

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Health, In the News, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

What are your thoughts on the concept of living a very long life?

Hello to you! I hope this finds you well. My prayers are going out to a lot of places these days. The latest area is Southern California and the fires. I hope they get some rain soon!

My thoughts about today’s prompt are if I get to live a long life, there will be many more hello’s and goodbyes- at my current age of 56 there have already been many! I look at my Aunt who just turned 80 this past November. She has lost many friends to cancer and has held grandchildren and great grandchildren and more are on the way! She has had to say goodbye to family for various reasons to include old age and sickness. If I get to live as long as she has I wonder if I will be alone as it doesn’t look like there will be a new man in my life anytime soon! Part of me doesn’t want to get real old. I see the elderly around me in a constant state of repairs and pain. It’s like having a new car and the warranty runs out and you have to keep going to the shop to get something fixed! If I knew now when I was younger I would have been kinder to my body.

Here are some Bible verses from the New International Version (NIV) about healing:

  • Psalm 107:20: “He sent out his word and healed them; he rescued them from the grave” 
  • Luke 8:50: “Hearing this, Jesus said to Jairus, ‘Don’t be afraid; just believe, and she will be healed'” 
  • Mark 5:34: “He said to her, ‘Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from your suffering'” 
  • Isaiah 40:29: “He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak” 
  • Psalm 147:3: “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds” 
  • Jeremiah 17:14: “Heal me, Lord, and I will be healed; save me and I will be saved, for you are the one I praise” 
  • Psalm 103:2-3: “Praise the Lord, my soul, and forget not all his benefits— who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases” 
  • Isaiah 53:5: “But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed” 

6 Jan 2025 Different

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Food, Health, Home, In the News, Leading Life by Example, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

What could you do differently?

Hello to you! Hope this finds you well. So much of the world seems to be in some sort of calamity. I sometimes feel guilty for having such a good life. May be God is giving me a break from calamities and drama!

Todays prompt is thought provoking. As I review my current life, I think I could be more active. I have been trying to lose weight and the scale is just not budging. I think that’s because cutting back how much I’m eating and what I’m eating is not enough. Part of the problem is the medication I’m on. Depakote is known for contributing to weight gain. I’ve been thinking about getting a treadmill or stationary bike to help me be more active. The only problem is I live in a very small home and would have to make room for these items. I walk Link once a day and have been thinking about starting to walk an additional lap after I get him around once. It’s been about 2 almost 3 years since I’ve been able to walk a lot like I used to. Something happened to my system when the police tased me! I haven’t been the same since. I really believe they short circuited my system. I have had to push through and some days it’s so hard. My Aunt and I talked about this yesterday. I want Jesus to heal me as there is no cure for what is going on with me. She made a prayer card for me – everything helps! I think of the episode of The Chosen where I think of when James asks Jesus why he hasn’t healed him :

https://youtu.be/KZDvcEkjthA?si=msC7Zhx91baeldiL– Why Haven’t You Healed me (The Chosen Scene)

I keep thinking he could heal me but for some reason he hasn’t. Is it like with James? Would I become like I was before surrendering myself to his care? Would I need him less? Is there something he wants to do through me just as I currently am? So many questions I have for him some day when I meet him face to face!

5 Jan 2025 Connection

by saymber, posted in Animal Rights, animals, Bipolar life, Health, Home, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello there! How are you? Hope this finds you well. I went to church today and there were a lot of good messages. What resonated with me was the word of the year: Connection and how God uses people in our lives to do what he cannot tangibly do. I had been struggling with a decision about whether or not to join my Aunt in a Bible study. She reassured me today when I went over to her and Uncle Johns place to visit that Pastor Jayson’s message was for me! First of all there were hugs! I’m so grateful for those! It couldn’t be more loud and clear! So I’m planning on joining her for the Bible study I just won’t order the workbook – they tend to be a waste of money for me. Some days it’s a real struggle to get out of my own head! She also filled out a prayer card for me to pray for healing from the balance issues I have that make it difficult for me to do most anything physical. I’m so blessed to have such a wonderful support system. Sometimes I feel so alone but like what happened today reassures me that I am far from it. My family and my church friends are there to fill the void in my life. Link can only do so much!

Part of the reason I am reluctant to be gone a lot and hold back from connection in my life is I don’t like leaving Link by himself a lot. This is a dilemma common to pet owners. I know what it’s like to be alone without him around and it’s almost unbearable! I have always had a problem with being away from my animals or leaving them in someone else’s care. That’s probably why I don’t know if I will have any more after Link journeys on. Part of my thinking that way is I don’t know if I can take having my heart broken again!

Part of the New Year
Messages for today that resonated with me

Psalm 86:11New International Version

11 Teach me your way, Lord,
    that I may rely on your faithfulness;
give me an undivided heart,
    that I may fear your name.

25 Dec 2024 Merry Christmas and Creativity

by saymber, posted in Food, history, Home, Leading Life by Example, Spirituality and Religion, Writing and blogging

How are you creative?

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to you! The past couple of days have been full of blessings and I am so grateful! On Christmas Eve I went with my Aunt Ruth and Uncle John to my cousin Tony and his wife Tawna’s house for a wonderful meal and visit. They ordered a feast through the restaurant Cracker Barrel and everything was so good! We were joined by Tony’s son and his wife who is in the process of becoming a doctor and Mitchell was just promoted to Captain! They may be moving to Arizona so that made this visit even more special!

A Captain and a lovely doctor in the making!

After dinner there were gifts to open and everyone was too full for dessert! We got to see Tawna’s little old man dachshund Eli – so sweet!

My earth angel Tawna
Tawna and my cousin Tony – these two are so dear to me! Part of my earth angels here in Idaho

Today I was awakened by a call from my Aunt to wish me a Merry Christmas which was so sweet. I was in bed late as I woke up at around 3 am and had trouble going back to sleep. I had one of my shadow people dreams that scared me awake. I got up and Link and I went over to my Aunt and Uncles house for Christmas dinner. They had the table set with nice plates and the turkey was already cooked. They did the bag kind and it was perfect – so moist and tender! They made a bunch of dressing which is my favorite side dish. We had mashed potatoes and some salad. Everything was so good! We watched the squirrels and birds they feed at the feeder they have. So cute and entertaining! After dinner there were a couple gifts to include a new baby for Link. Ruth got him to tear the paper off which surprised and delighted me! He’s never done that before. He hid it somewhere we couldn’t find. He does that with his favorite toys. My Aunt is one of his favorite people! Then we watched a holiday edition of Sister Boniface which is one of our favorite shows we watch when I go over to their house. I didn’t have room for dessert so they sent me home with leftovers and pie. What a special day!

Uncle John and Aunt Ruth more earth angels

As I reflect on this holiday I find myself feeling so grateful and blessed! So many special memories have been made with my family here. They help chase the Grinch I can be away this time of year!

My creativity these days is this blog. Writing is my only real outlet these past couple of years.

This passage is very fitting for how my family is: and is teaching me to be:

1 Corinthians 13New International Version

13 If I speak in the tongues[a] of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poorand give over my body to hardship that I may boast,[b]but do not have love, I gain nothing.

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies,they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 12 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror;then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love.But the greatest of these is love.

23 Dec 2024 Christmas Is….

by saymber, posted in Food, Spirituality and Religion, Writing and blogging

Hello to you! It’s almost Christmas! Yesterday at church Pastor Jayson asked us in one word what Christmas is to us and I wrote down family. For me Christmas has seldom been about the gifts. For me it’s presence not presents! Presence makes memories long after gifts are broken and or forgotten.

Last night we had our family Christmas party and we filled my cousin Laura and her husband Richie’s home with great food, love and laughter. It was everything I think is special about the holidays. Good food and family. We had pulled pork, a couple different macaroni and cheese dishes and salads. We got to FaceTime with my Uncle Bill and his wife Anna who live in California. There were meaningful gifts from my Aunt and Uncle to us kids. They had stockings stuffed with goodies and gift bags that had cutting boards Uncle John made out of maple – beautiful! Cove, my cousins granddaughter, got a Moana doll and she loved it. The kids pitched in and gave my Aunt and Uncle a treasure box shaped tin full of gift cards for things like the movie theater and places to eat. We had dessert of cherry pie, cheesecake and pumpkin pie – so good! What a memory we all made together!

There are some members of the family not here because of sickness – we have a big family and it’s growing! A new little is due in June.

I loved my stocking. My Aunt gave me a little book she found called The Things Trees Know and it was perfect for me. Trees are such great teachers! Along with the book we’re my Aunts famous chocolate bon bons! So good! I had told her when she asked me what I wanted for Christmas that all I wanted was those. She puts so much work into them.

So much wisdom in this little book I got from my Auntie

I got a much appreciated ride to the party with my cousin as I knew it would be dark by the time we were finished. My cousin Tony picked me up and his wife Tawna got me home. It was nice to have some one on one time with them! Tawna and Tony have been earth angels to me for several years now. They are the ones that inspired me to really surrender myself to Jesus.

  • Isaiah 7:14“Therefore the Lord himself will give you a sign: The virgin will conceive and give birth to a son, and will call him Immanuel”. Immanuel means “God with us”. 
  • Isaiah 9:6“For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace”. 

It’s important to remember the reason for the season.

22 Dec 2024 Children Singing

by saymber, posted in Spirituality and Religion, Writing and blogging

Hello to you! This morning at church we were treated to our littles singing a couple of songs. It was so cute! Whenever I see children in our church I think of what Jesus said about them in the book of Mark:

Mark 10:13-16New International Version

The Little Children and Jesus

13 People were bringing little children to Jesus for him to place his hands on them, but the disciples rebuked them. 14 When Jesus saw this, he was indignant. He said to them, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. 15 Truly I tell you, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.” 16 And he took the children in his arms,placed his hands on them and blessed them.

Children singing in our church service this morning. We have a lot of children in our church. They are so loved!

20 Dec 2024 Fun

by saymber, posted in animals, Bipolar life, Home, Spirituality and Religion, Writing and blogging

What was the last thing you did for play or fun?

Good evening to you. Hope this finds you well. In answer to today’s prompt the last thing I did for fun is play with Link my dog. Sometimes in the evening he gets a wild hair up his butt and wants to play with his partially broke down chewy or one of his favorite babies he likes to hide in plain sight. He’s irresistibly cute when he does this and I just have to join in the fun!

Link with a toy my Aunt Ruth gave him that is one of his favorites! He’s looking a little unkempt – before getting groomed!

Psalm 59:16New International Version

16 But I will sing of your strength,
    in the morning I will sing of your love;
for you are my fortress,
    my refuge in times of trouble.

10 Dec 2024 Dreaming of Dad

by saymber, posted in animals, Bipolar life, dreams, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Writing and blogging

Hello to you. Hope this finds you well. Yesterday was a nice day. It was Links birthday and we had sunshine for the first day in what seems forever. We get what’s called inversion here in Idaho and it’s hard for the sun to burn through it. It’s back to gray now! Sigh!

The birthday boy!

This morning I had an answer to a prayer in a dream. I have been wanting to hear from my Dad in the dream world and I finally did. We were in a car going somewhere and I had my hand on his knee and apparently it felt hot to him. He said I had fallen asleep and I didn’t remember falling asleep – I must have felt safe. Being with Dad always felt safe. Then we were on some military base because I could see a map. I was talking about a part of it that never had coverage or something. We were talking about planning another visit that coincided with an anniversary and then I woke up. It felt so real! I didn’t want it to end! What’s funny is my prayer before bed was that someday I would see all those that have passed again. That we will all be together again and I specifically spoke of my Dad. We didn’t get to say goodbye to eachother. It’s been a little over a year since he’s passed. Having visits in dreams with lost loved ones is one of my favorite things about dreams!

In Genesis Joseph had prophetic dreams. The dream world is mentioned a lot in the Bible:

Genesis 37:5-11New International Version

5 Joseph had a dream, and when he told it to his brothers, they hated him all the more. 6 He said to them, “Listen to this dream I had: 7 We were binding sheaves of grain out in the field when suddenly my sheaf rose and stood upright, while your sheaves gathered around mine and bowed down to it.”

8 His brothers said to him, “Do you intend to reign over us? Will you actually rule us?” And they hated him all the more because of his dream and what he had said.

9 Then he had another dream, and he told it to his brothers. “Listen,” he said, “I had another dream, and this time the sun and moon and eleven stars were bowing down to me.”

10 When he told his father as well as his brothers, his father rebuked him and said, “What is this dream you had? Will your mother and I and your brothers actually come and bow down to the ground before you?” 11 His brothers were jealous of him, but his father kept the matter in mind.

3 Dec 2024 Change

by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, drawing, Health, Mental Health, photography, space, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

What is one thing you would change about yourself?

Hello to you. Hope this finds you well. Today has been uneventful. I am feeling a little better after catching another cold. There was talk about something happening today with regard to space people but of course nothing happened! I am thinking something is brewing with the increase in sightings. I am thinking it has to do with the increasing unrest going on in the world – Sabre rattling about using nukes. If I was a space person watching all of what’s going on I think I would want to intervene too!

My answer to today’s prompt is if I could change one thing about myself I would not be Bipolar. Having this diagnosis has really limited me in so many ways. I have lost two marriages and many friendships and relationships with family. I lost a career because of this condition. The only good thing to ever come of being Bipolar was the wellspring of energy and creativity during the times I was manic. I would hardly sleep and my creative abilities seemed endless. I could draw, paint, sing, write, take awesome photos, dance, tap into the spiritual realms – all of this with little to no effort. Having the mania under control with the medication I’m on – Depakote- I can’t do much of anything anymore. This blog is my only outlet! In addition to Bipolar I have the Mal de barque syndrome where I have trouble with balance. I’m convinced it was triggered by my being tased by police when I was having a manic episode two years ago. It just won’t go away! So I guess there are actually two things I wish I could change!

Since I cannot change what I am, I have to push through with it all. I have to force myself to move forward even if I don’t want to. I pray a lot and ask for healing. I am trying to say yes more often when I would usually say no. One of the side affects of Depakote is weight gain and not feeling full after eating. With the balance challenges it’s hard to exercise to get rid of calories but I force myself to get a walk in with Link each day. I’m trying to lower my calorie count too. I am trying to say no more often to eating sweets which is my favorite type of food! Not all of what I am can be blamed on being Bipolar! I wish I could get back to size 16 jeans again. Obesity runs in my Dads side of the family so my genetics are kind of stacked against me along with my diagnosis.

Some scripture about change:

  • Ecclesiastes 3:1-2“To everything there is a season, and a time for every purpose under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to uproot”. 
  • Isaiah 43:18-19“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?”. 
  • Psalm 30:5“Weeping may stay for the night, but rejoicing comes in the morning”. 
  • Romans 8:28“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose”. 
  • 2 Corinthians 5:17“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!”. 
  • Hebrews 13:8“Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever”. 
  • Malachi 3:6“I the Lord do not change. So you, the descendants of Jacob, are not destroyed”. 
  • James 1:17“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows”. 
  • Ephesians 4:22-24“You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness”.