26 December 2021 Sunday

Hello. How are you doing as you visit me here? I hope you are well. I’m enjoying a room full of sunshine and some coffee. It’s really quiet this morning.

Yesterday my aunt and uncle came over about 10 am so they could leave their dog Smokey with Link. It was going to be a long day and they didn’t want him to be alone that long. Then I followed them over to my cousins and his wife’s for brunch. They have a real nice home! So welcoming! The food was wonderful as always and we got to have a nice visit. There was some snow coming down but it was too warm to stick which was good! I left a little while after we ate as they were going to see The Kingsmen. I was invited but didn’t want to go. So I went home and had a couple sweet dogs to keep me company! They really had to pee lol!

There are no plans for today. I am thinking about my aunt this morning. It’s looking like she’s going to have knee surgery on the 13th of next month. She’s nervous about it and so am I but it’s getting hard for her to be as active as she’s used to being. My aunt and many of the older people in my life, like my parents, have such youthful spirits! They want to go and do things but their bodies hold them back. There is always one body part or another that fails them. I wish getting older didn’t have to include sickness, pain and loss of body function!

“Twilight of my youth within me turning, flesh and bones around me burning. I long for limber days in the sun, but the calendar pages turn and those days are done. So hush little child buried deep…..I can still carry you….go back to sleep.”

I should get off of here and take Link for a walk while I have the motivation to do it. Get some direct sunshine! I hope this finds you well!

25 December 2021 In the Stillness

Hello. It’s 6:04 pm and Christmas 2021 is drawing to a close. As I sit here writing to you I am filled with gratitude…..and longing. I have been included and loved in to other peoples ideas of what the holidays should be but I find I still miss my little family. Will God ever let me have that again? Can God hear my true hearts desire?

Merry Dogmas from Link
Merry Dogmas from Smokey

New memories were made this year that I will cherish. On Christmas Eve my aunt and uncle came over with a lasagne meal and we went to a candlelight service here in town….it even snowed! In those little candles went lots of prayers! Then today was a wonderful brunch with my aunt, uncle, cousin and his wife. I was grateful to come home from brunch and there were two sweet little dogs to take a nap with.

“In the stillness of Christmas now past my heart lies in the snows of the last. “

24 December 2021 Sunshine !

So happy to see this glowing orb of warmth and light

Hello to you. How are you? We have sunshine this morning and I’m so grateful to see it! I’ve got coffee and my sweet boy beside me….load of laundry going. I will be honest it was hard getting up this morning. As I get older I’m starting to understand my parents better. They didn’t like to sit still too long. If you sit still too long it’s hard to get moving again! Stuff hurts!

It’s Christmas Eve and I am not sure how I feel about it. Everything feels so surreal. It’s really my second Christmas in Idaho! No matter how tight I have been holding on, time has been moving forward. There is no comfort for what I am feeling….only more time and distance from where all these wounds began. There are times I wish I could get on with life with less of the feelings but then I wouldn’t be me anymore! Ugh!!

It will be nice to have this evening with my Aunt and Uncle and go to a candle light service here in town. Then tomorrow we are having brunch at my cousins. I am blessed to have family!

I hope you are doing ok today wherever and however you are spending it. If your not ok I hope you have a support system to help you make it through!

I’m live on Twitch – Watch me at https://twitch.tv/jwygant

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26 November 2021 Hello

Hi there! How are you? How’s your day been going? I’m sitting here cuddled with Mr. Link. It’s been a gray and overcast day. I haven’t really been outside. I will be going out this evening to see the Christmas lights in Caldwell. I will need to dress warm as it’s been getting a lot cooler here.

I did another Twitch video today. It’s about Links origin story. It came out ok but not all in one take. I haven’t been able to figure out how to delete videos yet lol!! I’m not sure about this video making stuff! The more I watch other streamers the more less prepared I feel. I guess the most important thing is to keep being myself and work with what I have. My channel is jwygant.

My thanks to all of you that continue with me on this journey I’m on – especially my Auntie!! You are such a beautiful and awesome cheerleader ! The encouragement helps so much but I also appreciate feedback on how I can do better!

10 May 2020 There are many kinds of Mom’s

Hello to you.  How are you doing today?  I’m doing ok.  If I’m honest, I woke up missing my husband and my dog Spot but I know this is a temporary condition.  We will be together again soon.    I also woke up remembering it’s Mother’s Day and started thinking about what that means to me.

There are many different kinds of Mom’s in todays world.  In our modern world the title of Mom has extended beyond sex and, sexual orientation.   When I was at JPS, there were many male nurses who filled a maternal role for me while I was there.  One of them even had the same name as my husband and the other my brother-in-law!

For me, Mom or Mother is not just a title for a woman.  For me it is also about what someone does for another person or being.  For example, many pet owners like myself  consider ourselves pet parents.   I consider myself a Mom to Link and Spot.  Sometimes not a very good one but I try!  We don’t always speak the same language!

15 Feb 2020 Spot and Link – I was dreaming about her last night

The people I consider Mom’s in my life are those people that just have a knack for knowing what to say, what to do, how to talk to me in any given situation.  They have an natural instinct for nurturing and helping in matters of the heart.

People like my Dad, my husband, my stepmom, mother and father-in-laws and my Aunt all have at one time or another taken on the role of  Mom for me.  Their love and care for me has in most cases been nearly unconditional.  They mean so much to me!

I have to be honest and say in many ways even my girl Spot has even been more like a mother to me than me to her!  I call her my dog ma lol.  She has been a Mother dog figure to Link in ways I could not.

I keep thinking at my age I shouldn’t need a Mom like I used to but I do.  The question is do we ever stop needing our Mom’s whatever shape, form, and relationship they come in?   It doesn’t seem like it for me!

What does still needing a Mom figure say about me?  Am I immature or is it an indicator that I am still growing?  Does this mean I’m still teachable?  Does this mean I am still a person who doesn’t have all the answers?  Does this mean I still need the loving wisdom beyond myself to keep me grounded in this world?  I think the answer to all of these is yes.

Mother” in the English Ordinal system equals 79 (rotate, words, lifetime, affection, listen, remember, watches, super, loving, singing, life of a bard)

a Mom” in the English Ordinal system equals 42 (this is neat because 42 also means self)

 

Source: Internet  Sometimes I feel like this lol and it’s not what my Mom’s have said or done, it’s all me!