Tag: family

28 Sept 2025 Baptism

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs
I was so nervous doing this but God lead me through it!

Hello to you! I’m home from breakfast at the Sunrise Cafe with family celebrating a big milestone in my walk to Jesus – baptism! I was so nervous taking this step but God surrounded me with his people to help me through it. When I sat down in the trough the water was very cold. I was shaking as Diana read my testimony and a part of me did not want to do what I was about to do. I felt the enemy trying to tug at me and question my decision but Pastor Jason, Diana and Jim helped me stay seated and be in the moment.

My testimony:

I love Jesus and taking this step today is so special to me. I was raised Roman Catholic and have always believed in God but have never truly surrendered to Jesus. Since getting here to Idaho 5 years ago I have been surrounded with evidence of Jesus’s love for me. My family and both the Nampa and Middleton Grace church’s have shown me the way! God is good!

My Idaho family
My dear friend Jeannie

27 Sept 2025 Red Tree

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Home, Nature, photography, Spirituality and Religion, Writing and blogging
Fall signs are here!

Hello to you! It’s another beautiful fall day. The tree across the street has turned a beautiful flaming red. I wanted to share it with you. Tomorrow I get baptized and I’m both looking forward to it and nervous at the same time! I’m making a big statement about my faith doing this. Thankfully some of my family will be there. The day also is special because my cousin Heidi will be turning 60! She is such a beautiful lady inside and out. She doesn’t look her age at all.

Daniel 4:11-12New International Version

11 The tree grew large and strong and its top touched the sky; it was visible to the ends of the earth. 12 Its leaves were beautiful, its fruit abundant, and on it was food for all. Under it the wild animals found shelter, and the birds lived in its branches;from it every creature was fed.

10 Sept 2025 The Abyss

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, history, In the News, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello there! How are you? I hope this finds you well. The back pain is back but I’m trying not to focus on it! I appreciate your prayers!

Last night I had a good telephone call with a friend and we talked about something I haven’t talked about here for awhile. It was about the abyss that exists in all of us that we often unsuccessfully try to fill with worldly things. When I was an alcoholic, I used alcohol to try and fill myself up. When I was a fan girl for a musician or actor I filled myself up with their music and films. It was all so fleeting! It was an obsession.

Millions of people are rabid fans of people like Yungblud, Lady Gaga, Ozzie Osbourne, and Taylor Swift. Back in the day for me it was Prince, David Bowie, Benedict Cumberbatch and Jonathan Rhys Meyers. I drew their images and followed everything they did. There works temporarily filled the void inside me. When David and Prince died it left a huge void in me and was part of one of my manic episodes. Davids music got me through so many hard times especially my teens. It was a couple years ago that I realized my fandom was akin to idol worship and I pulled the plug on all of it. There is only one king worthy of worship! Once I completely surrendered to Jesus nothing else mattered. I realized these celebrities were almost acting like they were Gods – trying to be immortal , omnipresent and making a lot of money off of their worshippers! They are famous because we give them our time and lots of money. So many young people worship these performers and when times get tough they fall back on worshipping these celebrities instead of God. The celebrities are tangible to them whereas God doesn’t seem to be.

Only one thing fits into the void inside of me and that is God….things of the Spirit. I’ve known this for quite some time but I wandered off several times. As human beings we want a tangible “Jesus”. Like with The Chosens Jonathan Roumies Jesus. He is currently bringing a tangible Jesus to us. It’s tempting to fall into the idol trap. No matter how many times he emphasizes that he’s an actor portraying Jesus there will be those who think he’s the second coming! It must be so hard to be him right now in a world that so wants and needs Jesus to return.

Since I have put Jesus in the abyss that is inside me I know that I am never completely alone. I can talk to him anytime. A tangible Jesus lives and breathes through the people he has surrounded me with. My family and friends are the body of Jesus in my life.

Exodus 20:3-6New International Version

3 “You shall have no other gods before[a] me.

4 “You shall not make for yourself an image in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below. 5 You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God,punishing the children for the sin of the parents to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me, 6 but showing love to a thousand generations of those who love me and keep my commandments.

Matthew 25:34-40New International Version

34 “Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. 35 For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, 36 I needed clothes and you clothed me,I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’

37 “Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? 38 When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? 39 When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’

40 “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’

31 Aug 2025 The Light Of Eternity

by saymber, posted in animals, Bipolar life, Health, Home, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

2 Corinthians 5:17New International Version

17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creationhas come:[a] The old has gone, the new is here!

Today has been good even if I overslept! My Aunt Ruth came over and went with me to church. It was the first time she has joined me since we moved to the high school. It was so nice to have her there! Even though we were later, we still got a good seat near my friends. The message that stood out to us today from Pastor Jason was seeing people through the light of eternity. Not just for now but for forever. This is something Ruth does with people and she models for me. It’s not just living through what Christ did for us but living for Christ. We are to be Doulos (Greek for slaves) to God. It doesn’t have a negative meaning that slavery typically does.

After church we went to the Sunrise for breakfast and it was good as always. Emma took good care of us as always. It was so nice to have company today! We were talking that it will be 3 years this November since I was in the Idaho State Hospital in Orofino and Link had to be rescued from being locked up after escaping from a boarder. I remember this because of pictures I have on my phone. He escaped the same day I left the hospital which stressed us all out! I am so grateful he was picked up and not lost. I also so grateful that Ruth and John came and got me! Otherwise I would have been stuck there. They had no plan for me to have a ride home. One lady I was there with got released to a homeless shelter. So sad! I hope I never have to go through that again – never have to put my family through all that again. Being Bipolar can put such a strain on the family.

Picture I took of Ruth and John leaving Orofino in November 2022
My poor baby boy after we got him out of the shelter

17 Aug 2025 Who To Listen To

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Health, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs

Hello to you. How are you? I’m just back from church and getting groceries. The sun is out after being cloudy- making it humid! Last night we got much needed rain.

I almost didn’t go to church this morning. If I had listened to the voice that spoke so clearly I would have stayed in bed! My back has been bothering me the past couple of days and I was considering staying home from church. Before bed last night I said to Jesus if you want me to go to church tomorrow ease my back pain. Sure enough I woke up and the sharp pain was gone but a voice told me loudly and sweetly to stay in bed. I couldn’t go back to sleep and forced myself to get up defying the voice. Pastor Jason’s messages today were ones I needed to hear and if I had listened to that voice I would have missed them! I would have missed seeing my church family. Pastor Jason was sick and yet he took the stage! “Your heart is a wicked steering wheel” he reminded us. “Your identity drives your behavior – your identity is not anything but your relationship with Jesus.” The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak – this is something I struggle with a lot as my body gets older. Sometimes we just have to push through and trust Jesus hears our pleas. Our inner voice can’t always be trusted and after I heard it I even asked who was speaking! I asked the Holy Spirit to help me and I think he did. Be careful who you listen to!

Reading for today:

2 Corinthians 4:7-18New International Version

7 But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. 8 We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; 9 persecuted,but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.10 We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. 11 For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that his life may also be revealed in our mortal body. 12 So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you.

13 It is written: “I believed; therefore I have spoken.”[a]Since we have that same spirit of[b] faith, we also believe and therefore speak, 14 because we know that the one who raised the Lord Jesus from the dead will also raise us with Jesus and present us with you to himself. 15 All this is for your benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God.

16 Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. 17 For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. 18 So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

4 Aug 2025 Joy

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Health, Home, Mental Health, photography, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Describe one habit that brings you joy.

Hello to you. I hope this finds you well. Today’s prompt isn’t easy for me to answer. It should be after all Joy is literally my middle name! There isn’t one habit that springs to mind that brings me genuine joy. Ever since the divorce and changing from Lithium to Depakote feeling genuine emotion has been hard for me. Sometimes it feels like I am an actress playing a part of a human being. Prior to what happened to me about three years ago, I was a very emotional person. Tears and belly laughs came to me easily and that’s just not the case anymore. I have become a very serious person in my old age. I miss the silly and youthful woman I used to be!

The things that use to bring me joy and fulfillment aren’t a part of my life now. I use to crochet, make wire jewelry, experiment in my kitchen, draw, write poems and short stories, take lots of pictures, spend time with nature, sing and dance. The only things I still do is this blog and from time to time is take nature pictures! I guess I just haven’t found a way to completely fill the void getting divorced left in me. Loving Jesus is gradually healing me but it’s taking time! He is the great physician and I know in his time he will restore me to my best self again.

Picture from a walk with my cousin Laura a couple years ago

James 4:8-10New International Version

8 Come near to God and he will come near to you.Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts,you double-minded. 9 Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom.10 Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.

3 Aug 2025 Thank You and Babby Farms

by saymber, posted in Animal Rights, animals, Bipolar life, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion

Hello to you! Hope this finds you well. Today has been a really good day. It began with church and a message that gave us the opportunity to thank those who God has worked through to get us where we are in our walk of faith:

2 Corinthians 3:3New International Version

3 You show that you are a letter from Christ, the result of our ministry, written not with ink but with the Spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone but on tablets of human hearts.

As we left the service we were able to take a notecard to write a thank you note. What was nice about this is after church I was going to spend some time with one of my earth angels and friend who along with her husband, my cousin, have been instrumental in my walk with Jesus. I wrote a loving note to her and my cousin and got to see the impact it made! I gave her something she can refer back to in trying times.

We went to the Sunrise for breakfast and it was good as always. Then we drove out to Babby Farms in Caldwell. The admission wasn’t bad we got a military discount. It was quite hot out in the open so we enjoyed the shady spots for a breezy sit down. They had horses and various livestock some you could hand feed and some not. The ones you could feed were really eager to eat out of your hands! They had two camels with double humps that we watched for awhile. We walked the enclosure that had kangaroos and Tawna wanted so much to touch them but we didn’t. The place had a whole inside exhibit with marmosets, parrots, bats and fish and much more. Just when you thought you had seen everything there was more! There was a gray horse Tawna fell in love with – she gave them extra loves!

The gray horse that Tawna fell in love with
Kangaroo
This little guy was quite the entertainer
Behind us was one of the marmosets
This little guy was happy to see us!

It was so nice to get to spend time with my dear friend and see some place new. The drive out to where Babbys is located was very rural and nice. You didn’t see all the land up for sale and I hope it stays that way! Nice to see lots of fields of farmland.

27 July 2025 Free Plane Tickets

by saymber, posted in Health, Leading Life by Example, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs

If you won two free plane tickets, where would you go?

Hello to you. It’s Sunday again – the week just flew by! Today was a bit of a struggle to get going – lower back and hip pain. I made some coffee and prayed for relief and it came along with some Biofreeze topical pain medication. All the walking I’ve been doing caught up with me I guess! If I won two plane tickets I would go to Ireland – always wanted to go there.

At church we were in Corinthians again – 2 Corinthians 1:5-11. What Pastor Jason stressed in this was just because we are believers it doesn’t mean everything is easy – sometimes things get really tough. Our hope must remain in Jesus at all times good and bad. It’s easy to believe when times are good. I liken us to being a blade under a blacksmiths hammer- being shaped and molded by the hammer and fire to perfection. Sometimes it takes a long time to make a good sword. For me personally I have been through a lot of tough stuff and ultimately it has been my faith in God that has pulled me through. God has me on his anvil- molding and shaping me:

2 Corinthians 1:5-11New International Version

5 For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ.6 If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. 7 And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort.

8 We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers and sisters,[a] about the troubles we experienced in the province of Asia. We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired of life itself. 9 Indeed, we felt we had received the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead. 10 He has delivered us from such a deadly peril,and he will deliver us again. On him we have set our hope that he will continue to deliver us, 11 as you help us by your prayers. Then many will give thanks on our behalf for the gracious favor granted us in answer to the prayers of many.

I liked this that Pastor Jason quoted:

Job 13:15New International Version

15 Though he slay me, yet will I hope in him;
    I will surely[a] defend my ways to his face.

Today was also baptism Sunday and I almost went up when he asked if anybody else wanted to be baptized! My family wants to be present when I do it but I think they would forgive me if I just spontaneously did it! It’s definitely on my heart.

18 July 2025 Gowen Field Visit

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs

Hello to you. Hope this finds you well and staying cool. As I write to you it’s a bright and sunny 94 degrees here in Idaho.

Today started out a little bit earlier than normal. One of my earth angels, my cousin Tony, came and picked me up so we could go to Gowen Field, which is near Boise, so I could update all my files to reflect that I’m divorced. We were blessed that their retiree affairs officer, Bill Fackler, was there to help me with my Survivor Benefit Program (SBP) and finance files to get them to reflect that I’m divorced. Unfortunately you have to update your SBP file within a year of being divorced to stop paying into it and it was 2021 that the divorce was final. At least we were able to get things updated. Bill was fantastic! He has been fishing a couple times with Tony so they got a chance to get caught up while we were there. I went the ID card office and was able to update my DEERs. DEERs is what is used for tracking dependents. It felt really good to get so much done in one place! The folks working there are really friendly and good at what they do. This trip was an answer to my prayers as I had been fretting about getting all this done for quite some time.

On the way back to my house, we stopped at the Sunrise Cafe for breakfast which included a much needed by my cousin, good cup of coffee. Emma, the manager was there – she remembers me when I go there! Another gal, Ria (spelling?)said hello as she remembered me too. There is a reason I love going to that place! It was nice having good company for a delicious breakfast. I had French toast and Tony got a huge pancake he could hardly finish. After breakfast we took a walk together which was nice too. He couldn’t stay long as he had a massage therapist appointment to get to. His back gives him trouble too. It was so nice to have time with Tony. He works a lot and doesn’t get much free time.

Link was happy I was home – he got a couple pieces of bacon which he devoured. I always save a piece or two for him. I kinda feel guilty eating bacon to be honest. I think it’s because there is so much cruelty with the raising and slaughtering of pigs! May be some day there will be a good substitute for the different kinds of meat we eat!

Dear Jesus I give you praise for this day. Thank you for how smoothly things went at Gowen Field. Thank you for Bill Fackler. I thank you for my family, especially my cousin Tony. I pray for Eli who is Tony and Tawna’s little 15 year old dog who is having back and other problems. I pray for all world leaders at all levels of government to have wisdom. I pray for all the animals in captivity that they know kindness and compassion. I pray for the homeless, the sick, the hungry and the poor that they receive relief and mercy. Lastly I pray for the lost who don’t know you or just don’t believe in you Jesus – show them the way. Amen!

11 July 2025 Answered Prayers

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Health, Home, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs

Hello to you. Hope this finds you well. I just wanted to give out a praise for answered prayers and God showing me his love through my family the past couple of days. As I mentioned in my previous blog I ran out of Olanzapine and it had been a couple of weeks. I was starting to have a real hard time using Benadryl to get me through. Well after some phone calls today my beautiful friend (my cousins wife) Tawna offered to drive me to the Boise VA to get lab work and pick up refills. Wow! That meant everything! Tawna is another person in my life that God works through and has for quite some time. We enjoyed having time to visit as with her busy life we don’t get to see eachother as much as we would like. The visit to the VA in Boise went really smoothly and took no time at all. Very friendly people there! We got a dose in me and went to our new Dairy Queen for lunch which was really nice and took a little walk. She visited with Link and I for a bit on my porch before she left. I love being with her!

I found out the reason my Dr. has been reluctant to up the dose of Olanzapine is because there are a lot of negative side effects the higher the dosage like weight gain and blood sugar for example. He upped my daily dose by taking it two times a day instead of just once which isn’t too much. I noticed today that it relaxed me quite a bit. With being Bipolar there is a fine line between being high and being low. Without the Olanzapine I was running fast and it’s very uncomfortable!

Bottom line today – God hears our prayers and uses us to help eachother! So blessed!

From my Aunt Ruth today:

“He remembered us in our weakness. His faithful love endures forever.”

Psalm 136:23 (NLT)

Lord, I am so grateful that nothing is impossible for You. Even when I feel overwhelmed by events going on around me. When I feel weak, defeated, helpless, or hurting I am not alone. You already knew I would be here and You continue to show me that You can handle anything. Nothing is a surprise to You! Today, please forgive me for the time that I have not trusted in You. Give me the courage to do Your will and show me how I can glorify Your Name. Thank You for always being there especially when I need You most! Jesus’ Name, my Lord, my God, Amen.