Category: Mental Health

28 July 2026 Surrender

by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, drawing, Health, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs

Hello there. As I write today is another smoky and hazy day. I haven’t done any walks because of the conditions. After I write this I am going to try and do a 20 min Tai Chi session on YouTube with Don Fiore.

I had a therapy session today and we ended with Alyssa giving me a challenge. She asked me to do a drawing of what surrender looks like for me now. The last big surrender was when I was still married to Ken and lived in Florida. When I turned myself into the care of God, the doors of freedom and recovery flew open.

Here is an abbreviated version of what happened. While stationed in Colorado and then Florida I had started abusing alcohol. One day, in Florida, I met a man who was a broker, can’t remember his name, but he was striking. He was a black man with incredibly blue eyes. He asked me if I had a church home and I said no. He invited me to his mega non- denominational church. I went and the message was about the Holy Spirit being an actual person. The next day I was on my patio drunk and miserable. I simply said “I surrender.” The very next day the Holy Spirit began his work on me. I rode my bike to work and was going to go even with a hangover. As I was getting ready to go I watched the chain on my bike fall off in slow motion. I fixed the chain but was running late now to get to work. I was riding in front of where Ken used to work and all the sudden a Transam about ran me over. I was really shook up now! Had I been there a few seconds earlier I would have been hit!

When I got to work I remembered I had my annual physical exam so I left again. At the appointment there was a questionnaire and alcohol use was one of the questions. I had the courage to be honest. Because I was honest, within a couple days I was in rehab in Maryland! At first Ken and I were mad because we didn’t think I was an alcoholic. Later I realized it was to get the alcohol out of my system to see what was really going on. There is much more to my story of this surrender – let’s just say when the Holy Spirit is in charge nothing is impossible!

I feel like I’ve been doing what God wants me to do right now. My physical conditions prevent me from over doing it like I used to do. What would happen if I surrendered again? Would I be healed so I could be a worthy vessel of the Holy Spirit or how I am now is forever? This drawing is how I view Surrender right now:

Putting to crude drawing what Surrender looks like today

Spin of the World Prayer Wheel:

Let my heart be the vessel of God’s Love.

Let my thoughts be the blossom of God’s Love.

Let my words be the expression of God’s Love.

Let my actions be the fulfillment of God’s Love.

willingness – david ridge

21 July 2026 Practice

by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, drawing, history, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion

Hello there! How are you doing today? I just finished another attempt at drawing one of my favorite things the Metatrons Cube. I did it mostly free hand. I am so out of practice!

My first attempt at drawing a Metatrons Cube in a couple of years
What the correct shape looks like

What exactly is the meaning of the shape? Here is what the internet had to say:

Metatron’s Cube is a complex, mystical geometric symbol in sacred geometry that contains all the fundamental shapes of the universe. Named after the Archangel Metatron, who is said to oversee the flow of energy in creation, it is believed to be the ultimate blueprint of reality and physical matter. [1, 2, 3]

Here are the key elements of its meaning:

  • The Blueprint of Creation: The cube is derived from ancient patterns like the “Fruit of Life” (13 interconnected circles). By drawing straight lines connecting the center of every circle to every other circle, it reveals the Five Platonic Solids (the tetrahedron, hexahedron, octahedron, dodecahedron, and icosahedron). These solids represent the basic building blocks of all organic life and matter. [1, 2, 3]
  • Balance and Harmony: Metatron’s Cube merges the feminine (the curved circles) with the masculine (the straight lines). In spiritual practices, this represents the perfect balance of polarities and the harmony of the cosmos. [1, 2, 3, 4, 5]
  • Protection and Healing: Historically, the cube has been used as a sacred grid or glyph. Believers often use or wear it to repel lower frequencies, clear negative energy, and foster a peaceful environment. [1, 2, 3]
  • Spiritual Awakening: As a visual tool, it is frequently used in meditation to help focus the mind, gain higher consciousness, and connect with the divine. [1]

I first learned about the shape from my friend Sarah many years ago. Something about it just was a balm for my brain. I have a pendant I wear with the shape all the time.

Spin of the World Prayer Wheel:

God,

I’m willing
to do your work.

Please
show me what it is.

tami simon

19 July 2026 The Greatest Prayer

by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, drawing, history, Mental Health, Music, Spirituality and Religion

Hello to you. Today has been a good day. The morning began with church. I had never really read John 17 before. It was a great prayer from Jesus for his followers then and his followers now. I got to sit next to my friend Jeannie. She brought me something special – colored pencils! She likes my drawings and wanted to encourage me. I did a little drawing – I’m so out of practice!

Wonderful gift
Me trying to put into a drawing my feelings for my friend

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=John%2017&version=NIV – John 17

https://youtu.be/wagJfhhi0_Q?is=90djIWlIo3yVbZEe – The Greatest Prayer – Pastor Jason Boyd

https://youtu.be/6CKCThJB5w0?is=jCQcVyPBLETX94vM – Here I Am To Worship – The Call – Hillsong Worship

Spin of the World Prayer Wheel:

At the center of the universe is a
loving heart that continues to beat
and that wants the best for every person.

Anything we can do to help foster
the intellect and spirit and emotional growth
of our fellow human beings, that is our job.

Those of us who have this particular vision
must continue against all odds.

Life is for service.

mister rogers neighborhood – fred rogers – 1928-2003

16 July 2026 Gods Forge

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Health, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs

Do you think we’re shaped more by our experiences or by who we are?

Hello to you on this hot Thursday. We gathered a little later than normal for prayer today. It was so we could participate in the 21 days of prayer. There weren’t any new petitions but more of us to go over the ones we had. Afterwards Jeannie and I went to the Sunrise for a late breakfast. We had a wonderful visit and delicious breakfast. I got a hug from the manager Emma – I just love her! With Jeannie’s schedule it was the last day we could do this for her summer break. I was going to get groceries afterwards but decided to go tomorrow morning when it’s cooler. I really don’t like doing it!

Today’s prompt made me reflect on my own life and all that I’ve been through. I believe I have been put through Gods forge that has shaped and molded me into who I am. If I haven’t gone through what I have I think I would be a much weaker person. I have quite a laundry list! I have been divorced twice both times my being bipolar was a main cause, anorexic, bulemic, alcoholic, abused, an abuser, suicide attempt, obese, unjustly arrested, an adulterer, had fibroid cysts which resulted in me choosing to have a hysterectomy without ever being a mother, survived storms, been in and out of mental health institutions, dealt with the grief of loss of many people and pets I’ve loved to include losing my mother when I was just 10 months old to suicide. These are just a few of the things I’ve been through! Just about every tragedy you can come up with I have gone through either directly or indirectly. The way I look at it is Gods forge has shaped me into who I am today. Sometimes I have felt a bit like Job from the Bible!

Spin of the Prayer Wheel for today:

I see no stranger, I see no enemy
Wherever I look, God is all I see

I don’t think of us and them
No one do I hate or condemn
I see God’s image – each one a friend.

Of any religion, caste or race
All I see is God’s shining face
His smiling face, His gracious face.

Accept as beautiful all His design
I learnt this truth in sangat divine

One Word resounds in me and you
Waheguru … Waheguru …
In him, in her, in me and you
Waheguru … Waheguru …

Beholding in every being His light
I bloom like a flower in joy and delight.

adi granth – guru arjun dev ji – ca. 1604 ce.

14 July 2026 A Beginning

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Food, Health, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs

Hello to you. I’m just back from the MOVE orientation at Caldwells VA. After going through everything, I had the option of asking to be put on a GLP-1 but I decided I’m going to take the 16 week class starting on 6 Jan of next year. I want the weight loss to be lasting and going to a class will make me stay accountable! I have already started a food journal to track my calories. I need to make lifestyle changes and going to a class each week I hope will help me achieve that goal. Another benefit to go to class will be getting me out of the house another day of the week. I am proud of myself for taking this step – it’s a beginning.

Spin of the prayer wheel today:

This is the beginning of a new day.
I can waste it or use it for good.
What I do today is important because I am exchanging a day of my life for it.
When tomorrow comes, this day will be gone forever,
leaving in its place something I have traded for it.
I want it to be a gain, not a loss;
good, not evil;
success, not failure —
in order that I shall not regret the price I paid for it today.

author unknown

13 July 2026 Learner

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, history, human rights, In the News, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs

Are you a lifelong learner?

Hello to you. There has been difficult news today. Another person was shot and killed by ICE agents in Biddeford Maine:

https://apnews.com/article/ice-shooting-maine-immigration-dhs-f26f8c2256aa6f0748582ea4adbb515c

I feel so bad for his little girl who is only 3 years old! Her dad was shot right in front of her. When is enough enough?!! My prayers go out to her and her mother.

Changing gears…..

Todays prompt is so true of me. All my life so far I’ve been in school – life school. I have experienced both the good and bad lessons life has to teach. I believe we don’t go through things for no reason – especially difficult things. When we approach difficult things as learning opportunities we grow as people. We become the sort of person that can then turn around and use what we’ve learned to help other people facing similar challenges. When we face difficulties we can choose to shut down and become bitter or we can bloom where we are planted.

Turning to God during trials makes the load lighter. There has been so many times when I turned my trials over to God that doors previously closed flew open! The way was made smoother than it would be on my own. These past couple of years I have really been using the power of prayer to help me and others get through difficult times.

Spin of the Prayer Wheel today:

God, help me to be 
a pure vehicle for your love,
and light, 
and wisdom.

steven sadleir

12 July 2026 Remarkably Bright Creatures

by saymber, posted in animals, Bipolar life, Mental Health, Movies, Nature, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs

Hello to you! I hope this finds you well. I have had a really good day. For church we were in John and Hebrews. Jesus is the perfect bridge and anchor of the soul:

https://youtu.be/zIrqMc2_Fj8?is=2YG6o5Uzo6LzaG3q – High Priestly Prayer Part 1 – Jason Boyd

I got to sit with my friend Jeannie and we got caught up on things. Her brother-in- law Roy is still not doing good – still losing weight. His daughter has been here and that’s made a nice break for Jeannie. He needs practically everything care!

I went over to my Aunt and Uncles in the early afternoon and that helped me so much. Sundays can be lonesome for me ! We had fajitas for linner and watched a wonderful movie on Netflix called Remarkably Bright Creatures starring Sally Field and an Octopus named Marcellus. Sally was perfect for this role as a widow named Tova. This is one of those movies you can watch more than once. My Aunt and Uncle loved this movie and so did I!

Here is from the Internet about it:

The feature film adaptation of Shelby Van Pelt’s 2022 bestselling novel Remarkably Bright Creatures is an emotional drama directed by Olivia Newman. Starring Sally Field as a grieving widow, Lewis Pullman as a wayward young man, and Alfred Molina as the voice of an observant, elderly octopus, the film was released on Netflix on May 8, 2026. [1]

The Plot and Themes

Set in the Pacific Northwest town of Sowell Bay, the story follows Tova Sullivan (Field), an elderly woman who cleans a local aquarium at night to help process the lingering grief of her husband’s passing and the mysterious disappearance of her son years ago. While working, she forms an unlikely bond with Marcellus, an intelligent, captive Giant Pacific Octopus who longs to return to the wild. [1, 2, 3, 4]

Their routine is altered when Cameron (Pullman), a directionless young man looking for his estranged father, arrives in town and is taken under Tova’s wing. Through their intertwining lives, narrated in part by the dry and opinionated Marcellus, the characters help each other navigate grief, family dysfunction, and the search for purpose

https://youtu.be/b14IFe4an5k?is=Rfni_4-ySfoUd7Zs – official trailer Remarkably Bright Creatures

Spin of the Prayer Wheel for today:

I lift these hands, dear God, to You,
in praise and thanks for all you do.
You light the path through all my days
and bless me with your loving ways…

I lift these hands dear God, to You,
in troubled hours when joys are few.
You bear me up on eagles’wings and see
me through each test life brings.

I lift these hands, dear God, to You,
please grant me wisdom, patience, too.
Then fill my heart with love and caring,
precious gifts you’ve made for sharing.

poet – emily matthews

11 July 2026 Hard Years

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Health, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs

What’s a chapter of your life you’d title “The Hard Years” — and what got you through it?

Hello to you. It’s morning here as I write to you. Today’s prompt is kind of difficult to answer because throughout my life I have had difficult things happen. I have lived a life where hard times have been sprinkled with the good and easy times both of my making and not. What has gotten me through the most is my faith in God – now specifically Jesus. Jesus used those close to me to help me get through what I was facing. When I first got to Idaho , my family helped me escape the grip of what had a hold on me in Texas. I literally felt like the enemy had a hold on me! It was a physical AND spiritual battle. Then living with my Aunt and Uncle for 6 months helped me so much. More earth angels that treated me with loving care.

Throughout my life I feel like God was waiting for me to make a decision – to choose Jesus specifically. Going through hard times without faith is just so hard! It can seem so senseless! Before turning my will and care over to Jesus I was so vulnerable – porous. I was under attack without a shield!

Lately I have been going through a bought of hard times with my health. I am leaning on Jesus about it and gradually he is helping both directly and indirectly. He asks me “Do you want to be healed” like the lame man at the pool in Bethel. My answer is “YES!” I wish healing was as simple as picking up my mat and going home. There is stuff I need to do for the healing to take place. Yet, I believe he will! I believe he is!! I have a wonderful support system with my family and church family. It’s not how I would have it but as he would have it. It’s not in my time but his. I am hoping the MOVE program I’m starting on the 14th of this month will be a great beginning.

Prayer wheel prayer for today:

May I become at all times, both now and forever
A protector for those without protection
A guide for those who have lost their way
A ship for those with oceans to cross
A bridge for those with rivers to cross
A sanctuary for those in danger
A lamp for those without light
A place of refuge for those who lack shelter
And a servant to all in need.

bodhisattva prayer for humanity

1 July 2026 Best Way To Deal With Negative Thoughts

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Health, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

What’s the best way to deal with negative thoughts?

Hello there! How are you today? Today’s prompt is timely. Every day is a battle for me when it comes to thoughts. The best way to deal with the negative ones is to think of positive ones! Pull the lever on the train of thoughts and attach a redirected car – make the train go a different direction. This practice is something I’ve learned dealing with chronic anxiety. Another thing I do is pray or watch something uplifting. I reach out to loved ones and that helps too. Another thing I do to combat negative thoughts is write here. Writing gets my thoughts out of my head.

I really miss Pope Francis. I found this on the Prayer Wheel today:

On this day, I would like all of us
to hope anew and to revive our
trust in others, including those
who are different than ourselves,
or who come from distant lands,
bringing unfamiliar customs,
ways of life and ideas!

For all of us are children of God!

his final address – pope francis – easter sunday 2025

https://youtu.be/Av0BTpjK8z4?is=CG9plqPRBiblfK8N – Pope Francis Last Message

28 June 2026 As It Is In Heaven

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Health, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Music, Spirituality and Religion

Hello to you. It’s Sunday again as I write to you.

Today we were in Matthew 6:5-13:

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew%206%3A5-13&version=NIV

https://youtu.be/bOLS13cl78c?is=FtL4CHiDv_kGPaZL – As It Is In Heaven – Brad Bowden

Brads message today was a good reminder that prayer to God is more than just a transaction where we ask for things and expect results. Prayer is an act of submission to the will of the father. It can be so disappointing to keep praying and not see God move the way we want him to. I have been praying for healing for so long now and there had been no real answer. If I am going to overcome I have to trust God will move in his time and not mine. I may be this way forever for whatever reason I’m not privy to. God knows!

https://youtu.be/NLhdzuCSmIw?is=yL89_CTYYpV-NiBq – Build My Life – Peyton Allen