8 May 2023 Wisdom of Elders

May 8, 2023 by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Home, human rights, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you. It’s a sunny but windy and cool day here as I write to you.

Yesterday I was wrote about the heart and it’s role in my life versus what I’m being taught through Christianity. Both my Aunt and Uncle read it and gave me feedback. My Uncle had some specific wisdom about it. He said you are meant to use your brain and your heart when you are facing something but in doing so you need to turn to what Gods word says you should do not just rely on your own thoughts and feelings. I will say that for pretty much any question I’ve had about life, I’ve been able to find an answer in the Bible. I’m grateful to have people like them to talk about matters of the spirit. Talking about spirituality is one of my favorite things.

As I’m always saying, “ balance in all things” – getting out of my own head and heart is often a pathway being made for clarity. When I get out of my own way, the Holy Spirit can move. I take things so personally – I have to remember everything isn’t about me! I can be so selfish.

1 Timothy 5:17-21New International Version

¹⁷The elders who direct the affairs of the church well are worthy of double honor, especially those whose work is preaching and teaching.¹⁸For Scripture says, “Do not muzzle an ox while it is treading out the grain,”^[a] and “The worker deserves his wages.”^[b] ¹⁹Do not entertain an accusation against an elder unless it is brought by two or three witnesses. ²⁰But those elders who are sinning you are to reprovebefore everyone, so that the others may take warning. ²¹I charge you, in the sight of God and Christ Jesus and the elect angels, to keep these instructions without partiality, and to do nothing out of favoritism.

Job 12:12New International Version

¹²Is not wisdom found among the aged?
Does not long life bring understanding?

My Elders, friends and earth angels Uncle John and Aunt Ruth

7 May 2023 Heart

May 7, 2023 by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, drawing, history, human rights, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Movies, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you. How are you today? I’m just back from church – wasn’t sure if I was going but I did go. There are so many nice people that go and as I get regular with my attendance, the more people I get to know. The next event the ladies are having is a Ladies Tea on the 20th. My Aunt and I are planning on attending.

Todays message was more about the life of Abraham. The part we went over was when Abraham’s wife didn’t want to wait any longer for the God promised baby and she suggested Abraham conceive with Hagar the slave. The message about that was when we push our will instead of waiting can cause heart ache. The other message, and this has come up before, is how our hearts can’t be trusted. I wanted to put up my hand and disagree! One of my favorite sayings is from a 1920’s movie called Metropolis “the mediator between the head and hands must be the heart.” That silent movie was about how ruthless a business person can be without using their heart. As a woman and an empath I use my heart a lot! Sadly that’s probably why I have so many labels and mental health issues.! So much inner conflict between my brain and my heart.

I understand the intent of the message is to encourage us to get closer to God and not lean completely on our understanding but as I’m experiencing lately – God has been really quiet and without using my heart, I wouldn’t keep going to church and try to find a way to serve God and the community.

The world can be a heartless place – all you have to do is look at a news feed or talk to someone. It’s hard to find and achieve balance between using my heart and leaning on God. How can you love others as you should love God and yourself without using and trusting your heart?!

There is so much conflict for me with how we are taught to operate in this world. On the one hand we are taught to turn inward and find God and wisdom. There is emphasis on prayer and meditation which comes from within and then flows out. On the other hand we are taught that our inner selves are unreliable and inherently bad . We are taught to look outside ourselves for guidance and wisdom. This was what I learned in AA and all the church’s I’ve been to. I was taught I’m not trustworthy on my own. How can be turning inward to where the Holy Spirit is supposed to be bad? Where does the Holy Spirit within us reside? Where does our souls energy reside?

I am still learning and have to trust God will show me his truth.

I guess I don’t like to hear that on my own I’m not a good person. I have spent a lot of my life in therapy to deal with low self esteem issues! That’s probably not what is intentioned in todays message but that’s what I heard and keep hearing. That’s the tough job of a Pastor I guess – sometimes to tell us not what we want to hear but need to hear? Pastor Jason said it was a hard sermon for him to write and I can see why!

One of my drawings – this was during one of my more creative phases

Acts 2 : 2-4

The Holy Spirit Comes at Pentecost

2 When the day of Pentecost came, they were all together in one place. ²Suddenly a sound like the blowing of a violent wind came from heaven and filled the whole house where they were sitting. ³They saw what seemed to be tongues of fire that separated and came to rest on each of them. ⁴All of them were filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak in other tongues^[a] as the Spirit enabled them.

6 May 2023 Walking

May 6, 2023 by saymber, posted in animals, Bipolar life, Health, Home, Mental Health, Nature, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you. How are you this day- it’s Saturday here. I’m here with Link. We got out for a walk together. I cherish these moments as he is getting older and just doesn’t always feel up to walking. I’m only 55 and feel that way! Walking is something so many of us take for granted until we are unable to for whatever reason. I have family that have had knee and hip surgeries because those parts of their bodies have just worn out. Even after the surgeries there is still pain. The longer we live, the longer our bodies have to be able to carry us. Stuff like joints just wear out! Our bodies are like cars – depreciate in condition the moment we leave the show room floor!

Mark 6:49-50 NIV

But when they saw him walking on the lake, they thought he was a ghost. They cried out, because they all saw him and were terrified. Immediately he spoke to them and said, “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.”

5 May 2023 Direction

May 5, 2023 by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, drawing, Health, Home, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

What gives you direction in life?

Hello to you. Hard to believe it’s Friday again. Today is the celebration of Cinco Demayo and my exe in-laws 44th wedding anniversary. It’s so rare that people stay together that long. Even though I’m no longer married to their son I still consider them to be family. Once I love you it takes a lot for me to stop loving you. They are good people!

Todays prompt makes me think. I have never really had a direction in my life other than wanting to be a good person but it’s not been easy. Wanting to please God has flitted through my life, not to displease my family and friends has also been a reason for a direction. As I’ve mentioned before, as a young child and teenager I wanted to be famous but let go of that when I saw what fame does to peoples lives. Another primary direction has been not wanting to be forgotten. Since I never had children I have no one to pass my legacy on to.

A primary director, the Holy Spirit, seems quiet if not silent in my life. For so many years I felt I had a close connection. I could write, sing, draw, paint and make jewelry and other things. It’s probably just my being in an in between place right now. I think it’s also the medication I’m on that prevents mania from happening. Taking Lithium is different than taking Depakote and Zyprexa. I kind of miss the creativity and spirituality that comes with being manic. I think another reason for the lack of direction is the fact I’m still healing from my wounds these past couple of years. I am trying to stay open to God – to the Holy Spirit. I don’t think God is done with me yet!

A drawing I did back in 2015. I named it 7712 but I remember thinking of the title “Waiting” for it. I miss drawing like this – it’s like my creativity spigot is completely closed.

Proverbs 3:5-6New International Version

⁵Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
⁶in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight.

4 May 2023 Quote

May 4, 2023 by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Health, Home, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, photography, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Do you have a quote you live your life by or think of often?

Hello to you. Just back from a short walk with Link. Today began with a nice prayer meeting at Grace House. It was three of us and very productive. A focus was given to the recent deaths associated with Middleton to include two suicides and we also focused on a future home for our church. Lois had a good idea about rather than building new churches that like Christian churches share facilities. Pastor Jason’s idea was like have Church Middleton with different campuses. So much money gets used up for buildings and then there is less left over for ministries to help people. Another point of emphasis was more volunteers to help with different parts of the church. It’s usually the same people who do most of the heavy lifting! I wish I could do more but I just can’t – physically mostly. I get so tired. I walked over there and back and felt so sore. My back hasn’t been right since the fall this winter.

Todays prompt is about a quote I think of and live by often. I have several. One is lead by example and another is where you go there you are. I feel it’s important to be a positive example in the world – action speaks louder than words. These past couple of years have been hard for me because I don’t feel like I have done enough. I haven’t been a very good example. The family and friends that surround me are great at leading by example. I just haven’t had the energy to be the leader I used to be. So I am doing what I can. Being a part of the prayer team is a little something I am able to do.

The other quote or saying kind of ties with the first. You can’t escape yourself – where you go there you are. Just because you move to a new location doesn’t mean your not the same you in the new location. You bring you along to the new place. Since moving here from Texas I did that. There have been some changes but those changes have been to my health. This Mal debarque Syndrome makes me so tired. I didn’t have the swaying motion in my head when I walked in Texas.

Matthew 18:20New International Version

²⁰For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.”

Some sights on my walk yesterday and back from the prayer meeting this morning

3 May 2023 Favorite Holiday

May 3, 2023May 3, 2023 by saymber, posted in history, Home, human rights, Leading Life by Example, Native American Culture, Nature, photography, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

What is your favorite holiday? Why is it your favorite?

Hello to you – how is your day going? I’m doing ok. Todays prompt is a tricky one to talk about. My favorite holiday used to be Halloween but with all the controversy around it I decided Thanksgiving is my favorite instead. Really there isn’t a holiday we celebrate that doesn’t have some conflict about it. Most if not all holidays have pagan origins! I like Thanksgiving because it’s about food and family – being grateful for everything we have.

Halloween got ruined for my ex and I living in Texas. The churches would do trunk or treat which meant less trick or treaters in the neighborhood. A lot of the families that took their kids to the trunk or treat would then come to the neighborhoods anyways! It felt hypocritical to us that towns that forbid trick or treating came to our town. When the new houses went in, the kids mostly went there and we hardly had any kids come through our neighborhood. Halloween is kind of a holiday like Easter and Christmas. There are double meanings. Is Easter about bunnies and Easter egg hunts or about Jesus rising from the dead? Is Christmas about Santa Claus and presents or about celebrating Jesus being born? A lot of Christians do pagan things with their children – they do both as a right of passage. The holidays have been for so long about how much money can be made – so materialistic!

https://www.history.com/topics/halloween/history-of-halloween

I have a lot of happy memories of Thanksgiving. It was a time of getting together with family and sharing food. My favorites have always been the desserts – pumpkin pie. Sadly as our country has become more aware, there are some not so happy things about the history of Thanksgiving from a First People perspective:

https://www.goodhousekeeping.com/holidays/thanksgiving-ideas/a33446829/thanksgiving-history/.

Philippians 4:6-7
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

30 April 2023 Turkey and Holy Sacrifice

April 30, 2023 by saymber, posted in Animal Rights, animals, Health, history, human rights, Nature, Spirituality and Religion, trust, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

When I came home from church this turkey was running down our road! What were they running from?

Hello to you. Hope this finds you doing well. I’m a bit frustrated. The ants found Links food and water bowl and swarmed it. I managed to take care of it- Monday can’t get here soon enough! SO annoying!

Church was good today. We are going over the covenant between God and Abraham. There were a lot of “its” involved lol. The only thing that bothered me was the sacrificing of animals. The way things were done in the Old Testament was pretty gory. I don’t understand why things have to be so bloody to be holy for God. When I think of animal sacrifice in our modern time I think of the turkeys that die in the millions for Thanksgiving. Think of all the places that sell meat – lots of living sacrifices that we might live. Most people don’t think like I do about that and still eat meat. I am extremely grateful for the lives, the sources of energy, that die so I can live. In some cases there is so much needless suffering beforehand.

Romans 12:1 (NIV)”Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship.”

29 April 2023 Discussion

April 29, 2023 by saymber, posted in animals, Bipolar life, drawing, Home, Mental Health, Nature, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

What topics do you like to discuss?

Hello to you. How are you today. I woke up earlier than normal which was a good thing. My kitchen sink area was full of ants again. I am having natural pest control people come out Monday to give me an estimate. I could just go buy some product from the store but want an expert to do it. This way the problem won’t reoccur. I don’t like poison! I’m glad they have developed natural solutions!

Todays prompt is a good one. As you know from my blog here I like to discuss a wide range of topics but have my favorites. I enjoy discussing spirituality, mental health, animals and just nature in general. All these topics are connected for me.

John 13:34New International Version

³⁴“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.

Whenever I have had discussions with women who believe in God and go to church they have told me it’s about having a relationship with God not religion. That’s how it is for me. God is in everything. It’s really kind of amazing to look at the world with God inspired eyes – so many miracles. Like this spring watching so many flowers and trees springing forth with life. Babies from two legged and four being born. There is hope in these things – topics.

A drawing I did when I lived in Alvarado TX. I used to go to a pond there and pray. I haven’t been drawing like this in a long time. The inspiration and creativity gets kind of stifled when I’m medicated.

One of my favorite drawings I did I called Seeing the Beginning

A very spiritual drawing from back in 2012

I did this drawing and later there was a picture that came out of what Jesus may have looked like that looked just like this drawing.

28 April 2023 Sunshine and Ants

April 28, 2023 by saymber, posted in animals, Home, Nature, photography, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you. How has your week been? It’s Friday as I write to you. Link and I took a very short walk in the sunshine. Some days that’s all he can manage. He was limping a bit after my visit at my Aunt and Uncles yesterday. He was rolling around a lot and I wonder if he hurt himself. On the walk I got a chance to talk to my neighbor who does such a fine job with her yard. It’s hard to believe she’s 70!

Today has been a little frustrating – got ants in the house. I’m trying white vinegar to try and stink them out. I don’t want to have to call an exterminator. Whatever kills them is going to affect Link and I too. There are pest control companies that use natural plant based products. We shall see what happens.

I took this for people that don’t get out much to see the sun

Psalm 84:11New International Version

¹¹For the Lord God is a sun and shield;
the Lord bestows favor and honor;
no good thing does he withhold
from those whose walk is blameless

27 April 2023 Risk Taken

April 27, 2023 by saymber, posted in Home, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Nature, photography, Spirituality and Religion, trust, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Describe a risk you took that you do not regret.

Hello to you. How are you? I’m doing pretty well on this sunny Thursday. I walked over to our prayer group meeting and back. We had five including Pastor Jason. I think it’s cool he joins us. Prayer is so powerful. It reminds us that even if we think we haven’t a friend in the world, that nobody cares, somebody – a complete stranger- is praying for and expressing love for us being on this earth. Imagine all the people who pray for others all over the world!

Todays prompt is a good one but hard to nail down just one incidence of taking a risk and not regretting it. I have taken many leaps of faith in my life. A big one that my second husband Kyle and I took was finding and buying a house in Texas. My father-in-law was waiting to hear if he got a job in Texas. Kyle and I took a leap of faith that he was going to get it and found a home, our first, and bought it. We didn’t know then his dad would be in a horrible car accident and end up convalescing in our home before starting work at his new job! Risk well taken. Divine timing. The most recent leap of faith (risk) was coming to live here in Idaho. I never thought I would be divorced again but it happened – so much fell apart at once for me in Texas. My family here in Idaho gave me a safe and soft place to land – lots of support and unconditional love. I don’t regret choosing to come here. It was divine timing again as I found and bought my little house just in time before it got scooped up by another buyer.

My life has been full of taking risks – leaps of faith. When I have surrendered my will to the will and care of God a path has been made clear for dramatic things to happen. Right now I’m in a in between spot in my life. I am suppose to be doing something and gradually I’m finding it.

Some Bible verses: