Describe one positive change you have made in your life.
Hello to you. It’s Thursday already! The weeks fly by so fast. Last night I had a dream that startled me awake. I was in my bedroom and all the sudden the lights came on. I hadn’t flipped the switch. I saw Link on the bed and was scared that the lights came on without me turning them on. I looked towards the bedroom door and made a strange sound of fear at something I couldn’t see. Then an unseen hand grabbed my throat and pushed me to the bedroom floor. This force held me until I startled awake! I have dreams like this from time to time!
The most positive change I’ve made in my life thus far is choosing to become a Christian. I have been able to overcome a lot of things that some would find nearly impossible to overcome by choosing Christ. I am still learning and growing in my faith and Jesus has been patient with me. I have a lot of “body” issues I have been praying to be delivered from and I have been fighting impatience. I am constantly reminded that may be I may be exactly how I am because I am of the greatest use the way I am. If I was perfectly healthy would I lean into Jesus as much? When we are healthy and don’t have any troubles we tend not to lean – least wise that’s been the case with me! When I am doing well in body I am not always well in spirit. Being a believer in the power of Jesus helps me face my limitations as a human being.
Acknowledging Human Weakness:The Bible recognizes that humans have limitations in knowledge, understanding, and ability.
For example, 1 Corinthians 8:2 states, “If anyone supposes that he knows anything, he has not yet known as he ought to know”.
Psalm 119:96 says, “I have learned that everything has limits”.
Hello to you. How are you? So much is going on! Be it weather or demonstrators there is a lot of unrest. In my own life I am experiencing change. My church has moved. Last night we gathered at the new location and prayed. I got kind of lost and left early because it was getting dark. Before I left, I prayed with a woman I have a Thursday prayer meeting with, Amy, and her children at the entrance to the building. She was crying and tears fell down her cheeks. So beautiful! This morning the auditorium that seats 900 was almost full! Our prayers the previous night were surely answered! I was a bit overwhelmed as was my elderly friend Roy – the seats were more comfortable but shorter and harder to get up and down in. He sat much of the service. I am not a fan of big crowds so I was a bit out of my comfort zone – I fought the urge I had to flee several times! My friend Jeannie, Roy’s sister-in-law, encouraged me not to give up on things just yet. She was glad I was there so Roy wasn’t alone. I will have to pray about all of this.
I kept thinking of the scene with Mary and Jesus in The Chosen as we read this:
Best pets – for me it’s a toss up between dogs and cats. Cats are much more independent but have the litter box thing going on. Dogs are more dependent and have their litter box that you need to clean in the yard! I miss the purring and calm nature of my cats. My Amber used to purr me to sleep and I miss her every night! Link is a barker and that’s not very soothing – everything is his job to alarm me about! I think what makes a better pet is your lifestyle. If you work a lot a dog isn’t for you. That’s why when I was active duty we had cats. I think it’s cruel to leave a dog home alone by itself for hours and hours.
My one in a million little unique somebody Link today after his grooming
Hello to you. Today’s prompt makes me think about a struggle I’ve had much of my life. The struggle to stand out in the crowd and the backlash for doing so. When one strives to be unique you spend a lot of energy and time swimming against the stream most of the rest of humanity swims. The Chosen’s teal fish swimming against the current of gray little fish comes to mind. Having chosen to surrender my will to follow Jesus hasn’t been easy but I’m doing it! Sometimes I feel myself slipping back to my pagan ways but being surrounded by believers helps with that. As I look at this world and the way it’s going, I feel I have made a wise choice. The Jesus of my understanding is not the same Jesus being used by our country and its leadership. I think Jesus would feel quite out place if he were invited to the Oval Office. His attire would probably be mocked and his rhetoric would not win him popularity contests. He would likely kicked out. He would be himself which would fly in the face of what we are witnessing on the world stage today. There are a lot of money changers in the temple these days. There are a lot of desperately poor, hungry and sick- sinners who need what the true Christ would offer. Though much time has passed since he walked this earth his legacy is still relevant. He was and is unique – a pioneer. I often wonder how much longer, how much more suffering he will allow before his return. Would he be welcomed as a savior in our time or a delusional heretic drugged and locked up unable to complete his mission.
Hello to you. I hope today finds you well. It’s beginning to feel like Spring here. Blades of grass are peeking up and the birds are back singing their love songs. I went to church this morning- wasn’t sure my back would let me! I have been taking Aleve and using a roll on my Aunt gave me and that’s helping. I am happy to be fitting into my one pair of jeans! Progress!
Today’s message was out of Galatians 5. What stood out to me is how Pastor Jayson talked about our freedom. Our freedom makes many things permissible but we have to ask in the over all scheme of things is just doing whatever we want beneficial to us and the body of Christ we are a part of. When he talks about his own struggles with food I really can relate!
In a couple hours I’m going to be celebrating my Uncles birthday with family. I’ve decided to use this occasion to share my stuffed animal collection with the grandchildren. It’s been on my heart the past couple of weeks that it’s time for these things to go to a good home and be played with and not just take up storage space. Some of the collection is very sentimental stuff and I’m a little attached but it’s time to let go. Stuffed teddy bears and My Little Pony, for example, are great for young children. My cousin said it was ok to bring them over today so I am. They have a playroom designated for the littles when they come over and these new additions will get lots of use!
Galatians 5New International Version
Freedom in Christ
5 It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.
2 Mark my words! I, Paul, tell you that if you let yourselves be circumcised, Christ will be of no value to you at all. 3 Again I declare to every man who lets himself be circumcised that he is obligated to obey the whole law. 4 You who are trying to be justified by the law have been alienated from Christ; you have fallen away from grace. 5 For through the Spirit we eagerly await by faith the righteousness for which we hope. 6 For in Christ Jesus neither circumcision nor uncircumcision has any value. The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love.
7 You were running a good race. Who cut in on you to keep you from obeying the truth? 8 That kind of persuasion does not come from the one who calls you. 9 “A little yeast works through the whole batch of dough.” 10 I am confident in the Lord that you will take no other view. The one who is throwing you into confusion, whoever that may be, will have to pay the penalty. 11 Brothers and sisters, if I am still preaching circumcision, why am I still being persecuted? In that case the offense of the cross has been abolished.12 As for those agitators, I wish they would go the whole way and emasculate themselves!
Life by the Spirit
13 You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh[a]; rather, serve one another humbly in love.14 For the entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.”[b]15 If you bite and devour each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other.
16 So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. 17 For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other, so that you are not to do whatever[c] you want. 18 But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law.
Hello to you. How are you doing? I’m doing ok – kind of down. Too much news…bad news. I feel like my country is becoming a villain and I’m powerless to really do anything about it. There have been demonstrations all over the world but yet the eight ball is still in play. The only thing people have been doing that has really caused a stir is boycotts. Money is our superpower. I felt mortified watching how the Ukraines President Zelenskyy was treated in the Oval Office. I couldn’t believe what they did – ridiculing the man because of the clothes he was wearing?!! I felt like I was watching a bunch of bullies in a schoolyard. I want an end to the war too but how are we going to do it?!! What is Gods plan for all this that is going on? They put a statue of Jesus Christ in the White House lawn (how much did that cost us tax payers btw?!!) but everything going on seems so against what Jesus did and taught us while he was here. Jesus would certainly not publicly ridicule what a man was wearing!
Every day another fire alarm is being pulled by this administration – it’s only been a couple months but it feels so much longer. I want a do over on this election!
On a different note I wish to note today is my dear friend and earth angel Tawna’s birthday. We are the same age.
Our beautiful birthday girl
Proverbs 15:1New International Version
15 A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.
We celebrated my cousin and my birthday at Olive Garden in Nampa today
Hello to you! Hope this finds you well. Today was a good day. I celebrated my 57th birthday with my cousin who shares the same day – he’s 61. Our birthday was on the 13th and we had planned to get together then but the weather wasn’t good. We had a fantastic meal with family at Olive Garden today. Boy did I get full! I had cheese raviolis with meat sauce. The free dessert I chose was Tiramisu and boy was that good! It is strange to be 57. Where has the time gone?!! It was so nice to share the occasion with family and I am grateful for that. One of the special things about living here in Idaho is having family to share special occasions like this with. As I get older I appreciate things like having family more and more. Many are not so blessed at my age!
1 Corinthians 10:30-31“If I take part in the meal with thankfulness, why am I denounced because of something I thank God for? So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God”
Hello to you. I hope you are well and if you’re not, and many people are not, I hope you have a good support system. Have you considered surrendering your life to Jesus? Lately I have been seeing so many people at a loss of where to turn when their lives are falling apart. I saw this a lot prior to the Tik Tok ban – people just didn’t know what to do! They made posts and just cried. When I saw these videos I just found myself asking, “do you believe in God? Have you talked to God about your problems?”
I am a relatively new Christian and prior to surrendering to Jesus I thought I had to carry the weight of the world on my own two shoulders. Thankfully when I reached my bottom with my mental health and my marriage God put people in my life to give me a soft place to land. I spent so many hours on the phone with my cousins wife Tawna! She thankfully had the time in her life that she could be there for the countless walk and talks on the phone. I spent time on the phone with much of my Idaho family – I walked miles talking to them. Things were so bad I couldn’t leave the house without having someone on the phone. I couldn’t eat a meal without someone on the phone. What was missing in all that drama was my being willing to turn to Jesus. They already believed in him and prayed for me and that gave them the spiritual strength to help me navigate the personal haunted hell I was living in. I just couldn’t see my own way out!
I surrendered to the Holy Spirit when I wanted to be free of alcoholism and it worked in a powerful way. Door after door opened and shut with that surrender. For some reason I didn’t do that in Texas. I guess I had been a pagan so long (12 years) that I didn’t think I could do it. I didn’t think I could turn myself completely to Jesus.
Right now I’m in the process of working with Jesus about my health and the answer is he is healing me in his time and way not mine. Some of what is going on with me will probably never change because there is no cure – just treatment and management. Jesus is showing me that. I just have to know where to turn when times get tough. Sometimes through prayer and reaching out Jesus uses the people in my life as his body to assist. That’s what we are all here for!
5 After this[a] there was a Jewish feast,[b] and Jesus went up to Jerusalem. 2 Now there is[c] in Jerusalem by the Sheep Gate[d] a pool called Bethzatha[e] in Aramaic,[f] which has five covered walkways.[g]3 A great number of sick, blind, lame, and paralyzed people were lying in these walkways.[h]5 Now a man was there who had been disabled for thirty-eight years.[i]6 When Jesus saw him lying there and when he realized[j] that the man[k] had been disabled a long time already, he said to him, “Do you want to become well?” 7 The sick man answered him, “Sir,[l] I have no one to put me into the pool when the water is stirred up. While I am trying to get into the water,[m] someone else[n] goes down there[o] before me.” 8 Jesus said to him, “Stand up! Pick up your mat[p] and walk.” 9 Immediately the man was healed,[q] and he picked up his mat[r] and started walking. (Now that day was a Sabbath.)[s]
Hello to you. How are you? I’m doing well even though this world seems so crazy right now. Last night I experienced Tik Tok going dark and today it being back on. So nuts! A bunch of us went to an app called Favorite and others Clapper – so many their servers couldn’t handle it. Tomorrow Donald Trump will be sworn in and already things are changing and happening. I don’t know if I should be excited or scared!
I forced myself to go to church this morning. Some days it’s really hard for me! I’m always glad after I go it’s just the getting up and going. Today’s message came out of Colossians – all the things that Jesus is in the world. Pastor Jayson used clearing the windshield as an example of what Paul is doing in his writing. The past couple of Sundays and other gatherings have been trying to reach me – teach me. We are living testimonies of Jesus in the world and not meant to just be seat warmers on Sunday. We as Christians are meant to be examples of Jesus’s love in the world. Right now, as I look at my life, I feel like there is more I should be doing to be that example. Sometimes I feel the 12 years of being a pagan slipping in. I feel like my faith and practice is shallow- I feel almost like a fraud! There is work to be done and I’m reluctant to do it. I am going to a Bible study with my Aunt and go to a prayer meeting each Thursday and that helps.
Ever since I have been back on Depakote to treat my Bipolar symptoms – especially the mania- I don’t have deep feelings. My emotions don’t feel authentic. I used to feel things very deeply and now I don’t hardly have feelings at all! Depakote is one of the best medications for Bipolar but I hate what it has done to me as side effects! I still haven’t cried about my Dads passing over a year ago! It’s such a fragile balance between being “normal” and being too emotional – manic. What I’ve been going through is why many stop taking their meds. When I tell people I love them I don’t feel it like I used to. It feels like just words. How can I be an example of Jesus’s love in the world and be this way?! I feel like I am pretending and not authentically being. I am surrounded by such authentic Christians and I feel like I’m just trying to fit in! I have a tattoo of a chameleon on my right arm and it sometimes feels like I am such a being. I’m trying to fit in to a life that feels like I’m pretending sometimes.
I have been talking to Jesus about all of this. Last night we talked about how he is the only man in my life that will never leave me. Two marriages have ended because of my being Bipolar. I am going to be 57 this next month and the older I get the less likely it will be that I have another flesh and blood man in my life. The older I get the less I even want the complications of someone else’s life in mine! I just need to keep praying and remain open to where I am lead. I want to be a positive example of Christ in this world with the time I have left. I just want to feel it and not just go through the motions! May be by my sharing what I’m going through I am fulfilling Jesus’s purpose in my life. I can’t give up – I know that!
I hope my words in this message help someone besides just me!
Colossians 1:15-23New International Version
The Supremacy of the Son of God
15 The Son is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation. 16 For in him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things have been created through him and for him. 17 He is before all things, and in him all things hold together. 18 And he is the head of the body, the church; he is the beginning and the firstborn from among the dead, so that in everything he might have the supremacy. 19 For God was pleasedto have all his fullness dwell in him, 20 and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether things on earth or things in heaven, by making peacethrough his blood, shed on the cross.
21 Once you were alienated from God and were enemies in your minds because of[a] your evil behavior. 22 But now he has reconciled you by Christ’s physical body through death to present you holy in his sight, without blemish and free from accusation— 23 if you continue in your faith, established and firm, and do not move from the hope held out in the gospel. This is the gospel that you heard and that has been proclaimed to every creature under heaven, and of which I, Paul, have become a servant.
Hello to you this quiet Friday afternoon. I hope this finds you well. There are a lot of people not doing well – living some kind of tragedy and my prayers are with all of you. I wanted to mention that my Aunts granddaughter is giving me a stationary bike tomorrow which will help me in my goal of getting more exercise! So grateful!
This morning was an early one as I joined my Aunt Ruth and several ladies from her church that they call The Sisters of Grace. We enjoyed bell players and a very powerful testimony of one of their members. There was lots of good food to include a coffee cake my Aunt made from scratch. The testimony was from a woman named Eliza and I could tell it was hard for her to tell some of it. She was a victim of generational trauma and had been involved with drugs, gangs, trafficking and even spent some time in prison before completely turning her life to Jesus. Now she and her husband lead Celebrate Recovery and a Deliverance and Healing Ministry. The chains of trauma have been broken for her and her children.
I always am moved almost to tears when I am with these women. Most of them are retired and many are widows. This fellowship helps all of us. The times I feel most like crying is when we sing together. There is something about it that makes me think of what heaven may be like- a collection of dear friends gathered singing eternal praise to Jesus. I get that way at church too – especially when I hear children singing along with the grown ups.
Matthew 18:20New International Version
20 For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.”
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to you! The past couple of days have been full of blessings and I am so grateful! On Christmas Eve I went with my Aunt Ruth and Uncle John to my cousin Tony and his wife Tawna’s house for a wonderful meal and visit. They ordered a feast through the restaurant Cracker Barrel and everything was so good! We were joined by Tony’s son and his wife who is in the process of becoming a doctor and Mitchell was just promoted to Captain! They may be moving to Arizona so that made this visit even more special!
A Captain and a lovely doctor in the making!
After dinner there were gifts to open and everyone was too full for dessert! We got to see Tawna’s little old man dachshund Eli – so sweet!
My earth angel Tawna Tawna and my cousin Tony – these two are so dear to me! Part of my earth angels here in Idaho
Today I was awakened by a call from my Aunt to wish me a Merry Christmas which was so sweet. I was in bed late as I woke up at around 3 am and had trouble going back to sleep. I had one of my shadow people dreams that scared me awake. I got up and Link and I went over to my Aunt and Uncles house for Christmas dinner. They had the table set with nice plates and the turkey was already cooked. They did the bag kind and it was perfect – so moist and tender! They made a bunch of dressing which is my favorite side dish. We had mashed potatoes and some salad. Everything was so good! We watched the squirrels and birds they feed at the feeder they have. So cute and entertaining! After dinner there were a couple gifts to include a new baby for Link. Ruth got him to tear the paper off which surprised and delighted me! He’s never done that before. He hid it somewhere we couldn’t find. He does that with his favorite toys. My Aunt is one of his favorite people! Then we watched a holiday edition of Sister Boniface which is one of our favorite shows we watch when I go over to their house. I didn’t have room for dessert so they sent me home with leftovers and pie. What a special day!
Uncle John and Aunt Ruth more earth angels
As I reflect on this holiday I find myself feeling so grateful and blessed! So many special memories have been made with my family here. They help chase the Grinch I can be away this time of year!
My creativity these days is this blog. Writing is my only real outlet these past couple of years.
This passage is very fitting for how my family is: and is teaching me to be:
1 Corinthians 13New International Version
13 If I speak in the tongues[a] of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poorand give over my body to hardship that I may boast,[b]but do not have love, I gain nothing.
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies,they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 12 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror;then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love.But the greatest of these is love.
To be 