15 Dec 2025 VA Visit and Ladies Coffee

December 15, 2025 by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Health, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs

Hello to you. I’m back from appointment with the VA. Apparently every 6 months or so they are supposed to make sure I’m not having adverse physical effects from one of the medications I’m taking – Olanzapine. Everything checked out good. Apparently if you have adverse effects you can have involuntary body movements that make you look like you have Parkinson’s Disease! It’s called Tardive Dyskinesia: Uncontrolled or unusual muscle movements, especially of the face, tongue, arms, or legs. This can be permanent in some cases.

This morning I went to the ladies coffee at Grace House. We helped sort and label Christmas gifts for a few families. When I went I didn’t know that’s what we were doing. My back wasn’t happy but I was still able to help. I can’t imagine doing all that alone but the past couple of years that’s kind of what happened! It felt good to help even if it was just a little. We have such wonderful ladies at Grace!

Dear Jesus I pray for this world and all its life. There is so much going on! We need you now more than ever. Please wrap us in your loving arms and bring us all peace and healing.

2 Dec 2025 Pushing On

December 3, 2025 by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Health, history, Home, human rights, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello there, how are you as you visit me here? Today was long and kind of lonely but we have pushed through it. To be honest I have been missing having someone to come home to me. Link has me to look forward to coming home. I think of him as home as he rises up on his back legs and frantically taps at the front door waiting for me to come in. I miss my ex everyday but I know that ship has sailed. We were communicating a little bit but if I don’t initiate the communication there is nothing from him. He has moved on and I always hope he’s happier now.

The rest of this post is me reflecting on where I’ve been and where I hope to go:

I miss having a husband but don’t like what you have to go through to get one these days. I tried Tinder and that was a cluster you know what. I ended up with someone who wasn’t good for me and wanted more from me than I could give at the time. I just wasn’t attracted to him and that made him nuts. My taste is what I had in my ex and I totally blew it with my manic episodes! He just got fed up with the person I became when I was in untreated mania.

I always said that if I couldn’t make it work with Kyle I wasn’t going to make it with anyone. He wasn’t a perfect husband but pretty darn wonderful and I blew it. Some say he shouldn’t have divorced me but they don’t understand the spiral that happens with mania. When we were first together he knew I had mental health issues but I was being treated and was on meds that kept the mania at bay. When mania happened the last couple of times I was really doing things that hurt and or upset him. We were breaking things. He got physical with me a couple of times out of extreme frustration and it was after that he went to stay with his parents. When he could see I wasn’t going to get the help I needed he decided a divorce was the only answer. I didn’t take that decision very well! I felt so lost and alone. My everyday was like living in a haunted house. Memories of Kyle were everywhere I went from the house to the neighborhood. I wasn’t plugged in to Jesus yet but thankfully had people who were to talk to. I thank God for my Idaho family who were there for me – praying for me. They are the reason I am where I am today! Jesus used each of them to help me escape the nightmare I was in.

It took me awhile, even after I was out of Texas, to fully recover from the nightmare I was living. My Aunt Ruth and Uncle John handled me with tender care the 6 months I lived with them. I didn’t want to shower with the door shut. I didn’t want to eat meals at the table. I didn’t want to watch television. I walked constantly to combat my anxiety. I had nightmares. I saw versions of Kyle everywhere I went. Everything was a trigger to my thinking of Kyle. We had been married 12 years and I was married 16 years in my first marriage. I had grief and remorse over my first marriage too! Kyle and I committed adultery and I really felt bad about that as did Kyle. I just unraveled after he left me and felt this pulling sensation in the back of my body all the time. It was like the enemy had a hold on me and didn’t want to let go.

It’s been over 5 years now that I’ve been here in Idaho. I am much better than I was. It’s been about 2 years since I decided to accept Jesus as my savior. I finally made the choice that God had been patiently waiting for me to make. With this choice and my saying yes some doors have opened. I have gotten more involved with my church and that has made me some friends. I even got baptized which I didn’t think I would do. Now if he would only heal me from what’s going on in my head and lower back I could be of more use – a better vessel for the Holy Spirit. These conditions have prevented me from volunteering as much as I could be.

The other thing missing is a companion to share the rest of my life with. I have kind of resigned myself to my ending up being alone the rest of my life but I don’t know Gods plans for me about this. If I do fall in love again I want him to share in my love of Jesus and of course Link must approve of whoever he ends up being!

Thank you for reading!

Dear Jesus I pray for this world as fallen as it is that more of the lost will find their way to you. I pray for the poor, sick, mentally and physically in decline. I pray for all leaders in positions of power and influence that your will be done through their words and deeds. I pray for an end to all animal cruelty. I pray for an end to all wars that there would be peace. I pray for all children especially those being abused and or neglected. I pray for the children suffering in war ravaged parts of the world. Thank you. Amen.

20 Nov2025 Jesus Revolution

November 21, 2025 by saymber, posted in history, human rights, Leading Life by Example, Movies, Spirituality and Religion

https://youtu.be/hXUqhT4QShY?si=LvlzJb-fmiSjOEwE – Jesus Revolution (free with ads)

Hello to you. I just finished watching Jesus Revolution and I’m so glad I finally got to see it! I was moved to happy tears several times. How I wish such a movement could live again in the people of our age. I loved seeing Jonathan Roumie as Lonnie Frisbee the charismatic preacher that Greg Laurie portrayed by Joel Courtney met on his journey to loving Jesus. I also loved seeing Kelsey Grammer as Chuck Smith – seeing his smile was so contagious! You could tell he really enjoyed this role- he was perfect for it. Seeing people getting baptized by the multitudes was so beautiful. My baptism was inside but still just as moving. The enemy definitely lost one that day! I can imagine how furious the enemy got during this movement. I think, judging by what’s happening in our church, more and more people are returning to Jesus. When Pastor Jason tells the young people it’s time for them to go to their classes so many file out! We have so many young people who love Jesus at our church. We need more volunteers! I have been thinking about seeing what I can do but am not sure I am qualified! I will continue to ask the Lord what he wants me to do. May be I am already doing a part of it by writing this blog! All said and done if you are looking for a positive movie – watch this movie!

Internet synopsis of the film:

In the 1970s, Greg Laurie and a sea of young people descend on sunny Southern California to redefine truth through all means of liberation. Inadvertently, Laurie meets a charismatic street preacher and a pastor who open the doors to a church to a stream of wandering youth. What unfolds is a counterculture movement that becomes the greatest spiritual awakening in American history.

20 Oct 2025 Women’s Coffee

October 20, 2025 by saymber, posted in Home, Leading Life by Example, Spirituality and Religion

Hello to you. Hope your day is going well. I was late but right on time to the Woman’s Coffee today at Grace House. I wasn’t going to go but God wouldn’t let me rest about it. Missy always makes me feel so welcome as do the other ladies. Sometimes you just need to be with other women! We talked about being a Mary or a Martha in our lives. We talked about things you try to help a teenager who has a lot of questions about God. I felt just by her sharing and the feedback we gave her God was at work to help her. We prayed for dear Charlottes sick dog Annie. Charlotte left us in tears as she had to take Annie to the vet. I’m glad I went! I usually am it’s just the going! I didn’t sleep very well last night – that’s why I didn’t want to get up and go. I always feel bad for Link because he always gets disturbed with my tossing and turning.

Isaiah 41:10New International Version

¹⁰So do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

31 Aug 2025 The Light Of Eternity

August 31, 2025 by saymber, posted in animals, Bipolar life, Health, Home, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

2 Corinthians 5:17New International Version

¹⁷Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creationhas come:^[a] The old has gone, the new is here!

Today has been good even if I overslept! My Aunt Ruth came over and went with me to church. It was the first time she has joined me since we moved to the high school. It was so nice to have her there! Even though we were later, we still got a good seat near my friends. The message that stood out to us today from Pastor Jason was seeing people through the light of eternity. Not just for now but for forever. This is something Ruth does with people and she models for me. It’s not just living through what Christ did for us but living for Christ. We are to be Doulos (Greek for slaves) to God. It doesn’t have a negative meaning that slavery typically does.

After church we went to the Sunrise for breakfast and it was good as always. Emma took good care of us as always. It was so nice to have company today! We were talking that it will be 3 years this November since I was in the Idaho State Hospital in Orofino and Link had to be rescued from being locked up after escaping from a boarder. I remember this because of pictures I have on my phone. He escaped the same day I left the hospital which stressed us all out! I am so grateful he was picked up and not lost. I also so grateful that Ruth and John came and got me! Otherwise I would have been stuck there. They had no plan for me to have a ride home. One lady I was there with got released to a homeless shelter. So sad! I hope I never have to go through that again – never have to put my family through all that again. Being Bipolar can put such a strain on the family.

Picture I took of Ruth and John leaving Orofino in November 2022

My poor baby boy after we got him out of the shelter

24 Aug 2025 This Old Tent

August 24, 2025 by saymber, posted in Animal Rights, animals, Bipolar life, Food, Health, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Writing and blogging

Hello to you. I hope this finds you well. I’m sitting here at the Sunrise Cafe waiting for my food reflecting on today’s message at church. The past couple times here I’ve been able to order vegan sausage. I’m trying to fight cruelty in the food I eat. It is a choice to eat meat and even to this day there is so much cruelty and suffering for food animals. We must vote with our pocket books!

Pastor Jason covered a lot of ground today. One of the bulletin points was “We have a future hope.”The main scripture from Paul, who was a tent maker, was 2 Corinthians 5:1-5 and it speaks to that future hope:

2 Corinthians 5:1-5New International Version

Awaiting the New Body

5 For we know that if the earthly tent we live in is destroyed, we have a building from God, an eternal house in heaven, not built by human hands.²Meanwhile we groan, longing to be clothed instead with our heavenly dwelling, ³because when we are clothed, we will not be found naked. ⁴For while we are in this tent, we groan and are burdened, because we do not wish to be unclothed but to be clothed instead with our heavenly dwelling, so that what is mortal may be swallowed up by life. ⁵Now the one who has fashioned us for this very purpose is God, who has given us the Spirit as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come.

This scripture really resonated with me! The past couple of weeks this old tent of a body has been really groaning! As I look around at this world and the people in it the whole world seems to be a groaning tent. A couple generations of us are getting older and it shows up in pain in different parts of the body. For me it’s my lower back – thank goodness for Biofreeze! I often refer to this in my own life:

Matthew 26:41New International Version

⁴¹“Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.”

17 Aug 2025 Who To Listen To

August 17, 2025 by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Health, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs

Hello to you. How are you? I’m just back from church and getting groceries. The sun is out after being cloudy- making it humid! Last night we got much needed rain.

I almost didn’t go to church this morning. If I had listened to the voice that spoke so clearly I would have stayed in bed! My back has been bothering me the past couple of days and I was considering staying home from church. Before bed last night I said to Jesus if you want me to go to church tomorrow ease my back pain. Sure enough I woke up and the sharp pain was gone but a voice told me loudly and sweetly to stay in bed. I couldn’t go back to sleep and forced myself to get up defying the voice. Pastor Jason’s messages today were ones I needed to hear and if I had listened to that voice I would have missed them! I would have missed seeing my church family. Pastor Jason was sick and yet he took the stage! “Your heart is a wicked steering wheel” he reminded us. “Your identity drives your behavior – your identity is not anything but your relationship with Jesus.” The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak – this is something I struggle with a lot as my body gets older. Sometimes we just have to push through and trust Jesus hears our pleas. Our inner voice can’t always be trusted and after I heard it I even asked who was speaking! I asked the Holy Spirit to help me and I think he did. Be careful who you listen to!

Reading for today:

2 Corinthians 4:7-18New International Version

⁷But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. ⁸We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; ⁹persecuted,but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.¹⁰We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. ¹¹For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that his life may also be revealed in our mortal body. ¹²So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you.

¹³It is written: “I believed; therefore I have spoken.”^[a]Since we have that same spirit of^[b] faith, we also believe and therefore speak, ¹⁴because we know that the one who raised the Lord Jesus from the dead will also raise us with Jesus and present us with you to himself. ¹⁵All this is for your benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God.

¹⁶Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. ¹⁷For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. ¹⁸So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

7 Aug 2025 Power of Prayer

August 7, 2025 by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Health, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion

Hello to you! Hope this finds you well. I’m just back from my Thursday prayer meeting and extra walk home. I’m so grateful for our group – Pastor Jason, Pastor Jim, Lois and Amy today. We were missing Jeannie and Briana – they both have life stuff going on and couldn’t be there today. Our group is small but powerful in our prayers and praise. We pray for each others intentions and Lois puts together a prayer sheet that lists things to pray for within the church. Today Jason shared some disturbing statistics about youth suicide rates for Canyon County. It’s a leading cause of death among teens and younger children. We have a lot of young people who go to our church. Right now a bunch of them are at summer camp. Lots to pray for! My personal requests were for my two uncles. My Uncle Bill who is struggling with ongoing health issues and for my Uncle John who is having shoulder surgery next week. I will miss being able to walk to Grace House when the lease is up! God will provide!

Isaiah 41:10New International Version

¹⁰So do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

3 Aug 2025 Thank You and Babby Farms

August 3, 2025 by saymber, posted in Animal Rights, animals, Bipolar life, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion

Hello to you! Hope this finds you well. Today has been a really good day. It began with church and a message that gave us the opportunity to thank those who God has worked through to get us where we are in our walk of faith:

2 Corinthians 3:3New International Version

³You show that you are a letter from Christ, the result of our ministry, written not with ink but with the Spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone but on tablets of human hearts.

As we left the service we were able to take a notecard to write a thank you note. What was nice about this is after church I was going to spend some time with one of my earth angels and friend who along with her husband, my cousin, have been instrumental in my walk with Jesus. I wrote a loving note to her and my cousin and got to see the impact it made! I gave her something she can refer back to in trying times.

We went to the Sunrise for breakfast and it was good as always. Then we drove out to Babby Farms in Caldwell. The admission wasn’t bad we got a military discount. It was quite hot out in the open so we enjoyed the shady spots for a breezy sit down. They had horses and various livestock some you could hand feed and some not. The ones you could feed were really eager to eat out of your hands! They had two camels with double humps that we watched for awhile. We walked the enclosure that had kangaroos and Tawna wanted so much to touch them but we didn’t. The place had a whole inside exhibit with marmosets, parrots, bats and fish and much more. Just when you thought you had seen everything there was more! There was a gray horse Tawna fell in love with – she gave them extra loves!

The gray horse that Tawna fell in love with

It was so nice to get to spend time with my dear friend and see some place new. The drive out to where Babbys is located was very rural and nice. You didn’t see all the land up for sale and I hope it stays that way! Nice to see lots of fields of farmland.

31 July 2025 Appearance

August 1, 2025 by saymber, posted in Food, Home, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

How would you describe yourself to someone who can’t see you?

Hello to you. Hope this finds you well. Today began with prayer with Pastor Jason and Pastor Jim. Always lots to pray for. We prayed for our church and its people. I read the prayer from yesterday’s blog. I talked to Pastor Jason about getting baptized. It’s been tugging at my heart for quite some time! So we are going to do it the last Sunday in September. My family knows so they can be there for it. After prayer I finally got groceries – $200 for just me! The cart was filled with mostly stuff to drink. I am glad I got it over with! I went for a walk after I put everything away and it was kind of a struggle but I made myself do the half mile loop.

Today’s prompt makes me think of Little House On The Prairie. Laura wrote her books in a very descriptive way so that her blind sister Mary could see what she was talking about. I would describe myself as sort of tall and curvy. Short hair with hazel eyes and olive skin (I tan easily). My head is smaller than my body – heart shaped face. I have long arms and long legs. I have a very short waist. Can you see me?

Isaiah 53:2New International Version

²He grew up before him like a tender shoot,
and like a root out of dry ground.
He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him,
nothing in his appearance that we should desire him.