Hello to you – how are you in your day today? I’m doing pretty good. The world is pretty still for me right now after conquering some of the hurdles I had waiting for me when I got home.
What has come to mind this morning is finding balance when the world seems to be out of balance. Every time I turn on the television. Every page that comes up when I open the internet. Almost every conversation with family and friends. What is it all about right now? That darn Corona virus! What do I want to give my power to about it? Not how many people are sick, not how many people have died, not all the ways we have failed in containing this thing. What do I want to focus on? How many people have lived? What have we done right? The countless HERO’S that I have personally encountered and know working in the the medical profession right now. I have friends and family in nursing and all I want for them is their safety and outstanding health on this journey each day.
Coming from the experience I recently have come from with healthcare, even when things seem their worst, God, as I understand, finds a way to punch through the darkness with hope and light.
I believe that what you focus on gains power in the world. The more we focus on the negatives, not to deny negatives exist, the more power we give to what we don’t want going on in the world! I encourage everyone reading this to amplify their positive prayers, mediations and just energy signatures in the world….empowerment!
So as the scales skitter back and forth like trying to weigh ourselves on a scale, I hope a healthy balance, a healthy “weight” will be achieved.
“finding balance” in the English Ordinal system equals 101 – system
“one zero one” in the English Ordinal system equals 132 – life
“one three two” in the English Ordinal system equals 148 – motive
“one four eight” in the English Ordinal system equals 143 – choice
“one four three” in the English Ordinal system equals 150 – Joy
“one five zero” in the English Ordinal system equals 140 – food
“one four zero” in the English Ordinal system equals 158 – feeling
one five eight” in the English Ordinal system equals 125 – all
“one two five” in the English Ordinal system equals 134 – one
Hello to you out there and I hope this finds you in a good place in your life. If not, if for some reason this finds you in the shadow place of living, I hope that you will find a light space or a light space will find you. That’s how it worked out for me with my recent journey. It’s amazing how a bunch of shut doors can open a bunch of new ones and even reconnect you with people you had lost touch with.
There is a phrase divine timing that comes to mind with what happened with my Uncle Bill and I this morning. My Aunt Ruth has sent him my blog to read and no sooner had he finished reading it, I fumbled with my new phone and “accidentally” called him! The karma/divine timing was not lost on either of us with that one! My Aunt and Uncle have watched my journey with mental health and how I have managed to climb back up after some deep dives. They were both pleased to read my post and I appreciate their encouragement.
It’s amazing how many people you find out love and care for you once you get plugged back in to things. I always find myself humbled and nearly unworthy of so much love and support! Today I got to hear from and see some folks I had been missing and find out how strong our connections are.
Facebook has turned out to actually be useful to with this latest leg of my journey and it’s been a tool to reconnect with positive people in my life. I had kind of shunned using it but am finding it not to be such a bad thing.
The big deal today was Link coming home to see me! I missed him, Spot and my husband so much when I was away! I drew pictures of them in my journals almost everyday! We are testing the waters to see how things go for the next couple of weeks. The hardest part of being gone was the back yard really went and grew tall with no one to maintain it. I’m looking into getting a lawn service to tame it so it’s more Link “going out to do business friendly!”
29 April 2020 – Link checking out his old lookout post
29 April 2020- Link sleeping on pillow our Sammy used to love too
29 April 2020 – So happy Link is home
29 April 2020 – pics of Link getting adjusted to be back home. I love that he was enjoying a pillow we kept from when we had Sammy.
Here is what divine timing looks like in Gematria:
“divine timing” in the English Ordinal system equals 135 – a creed or to bear fruit
“one three five” in the English Ordinal system equals 132 – a life
“one three two” in the English Ordinal system equals 148 – a tree
“one four eight” in the English Ordinal system equals 143 – a choice
“one four three” in the English Ordinal system equals 150 – a Joy
“one five zero” in the English Ordinal system equals 140 – a food
“one four zero” in the English Ordinal system equals 158 – a feeling
one five eight” in the English Ordinal system equals 125 – a one
“one two five” in the English Ordinal system equals 134 – a chance
Remember, this is just my interpretation. Gematria reading is very personal and may be different from person to person. I find it interesting that it is in a 9 cycle. When you add up 1 +3 +5 you get 9 and if you divide 9 by 2 (the night and day of existence and light and shadow of self), you get a repeating 9 pattern. There is a certain element of “nein” (in German “no”) or denial about divine timing and things that happen with it! People like to call it just a coincidence but is it always? I don’t think so.
“coincidence” in the English Ordinal system equals 84 – lesson, worth
Hello to you wherever and whenever you are as you visit here. I just wanted to write a note to let those who might have wondered where I went to. My blog kind of has been getting put on the back burner with life stuff. I’m sure anyone who blogs or has life going on with the latest stuff we have going on as a world can relate. There have have been more important things going on and stuff like this is usually the first to get left behind.
Instead of focusing on what has gone wrong the past couple of months in my life I’ll focus on on the most important thing – what I learned that has helped me.
I was recently in a treatment facility and I am grateful for it because I have finally come to realize what my husband and others have been trying to tell me – in order for me to be able to function/operate in the world I’m in, I have to be on medication to help me do that. I have resisted and fought against that concept for the longest time and after everything I went through the past couple of months, I have realized resisting is against my best interest. I have had to do say those words a lot lately, and it might be too late in some cases, “You were right, I was wrong, please forgive me.”
I am a very porous, spiritual empath and unmedicated, my gifts are so strong I can’t function in the “real world.” The treatment plan I have isn’t being overly medicated so that my gifts are completely surpressed, but enough so that I have the clarity I was lacking…..the filter….the invisible guardian at the gate to my soul. The greatest guardian besides the God of my understanding, is turning out to be Lithium. I don’t like some of the side effects but they are minimal in light of most other options before me.
Anyhew – just wanted to share a couple thoughts in case anyone out there was still following my blog here. I hope something I’ve shared here will resonate with someone today and be helpful.
My prayers are with everybody right now and thanks to all those I’ve dealt with personally and those I haven’t on the front lines of all the crisis we have as a shared world right now. Anyone reading this that is having difficulty – please know you are a blessing to someone even if it’s not immediately obvious. Be a light – let your light keep shining even if it’s only on a dimmer switch!
Hello to you. It’s Saturday afternoon as I write to you in your here and now. How are you? I hope well. I am having some shall I say, “alone time” right now and find myself challenged to find things to do. Today I took out the trusty cribbage and chessboards and found myself quickly bored with the board lol. I write and draw a lot, sometimes paint, take pictures, enjoy almost every genre of music (some more than others), love to dance and be physically active, enjoy good food, truly enjoy being outside with God and sometimes play a video game here and there. I enjoy making things but don’t really have an outlet for the things I make. I think it is safe to say, at least for my house, you can have too many home made blankets! Hobbies can get expensive no matter what they are. When you are on a fixed income you have to watch your spending, at least that has been my personal choice about it.
Living where I do, most of the activities that I could participate in require me to spend money. Driving to even a “free” place can get expensive over time. So I have learned to amuse myself the best I can in the parameters in which I live. For many, I think, it would be quite a dull existence.
I have planted a seed, if you want to call it that, for the God of my understanding to gradually and tangibly, put people in my life that are interested in the sorts of things I am interested in. Some time ago, I had a “tribe” here, but everyone went their separate ways and all are extremely busy with their lives and pursuit of their dreams and or livelihoods. Some of what I’m interested in may be considered “fringe” type things – much of which is in the spiritual, scientific and paranormal realms.
Sometimes when you plant a seed with God it takes time and the right “soil” in which for the seed to germinate.
Hello to you. It’s a gray and cold afternoon as I write. Hope this finds you doing well in your where and when as you visit me here.
I was trying to think of something to write about and the subject of tangible and intangible experiences came to my mind. It’s one thing to imagine the things you would like to do in life but quite another to actually do them. I’m at a cross roads point in my life right now. There is a part of me that longs for an adventure and part of me that is hesitant to even step my feet too far out of my own neighborhood! Can you relate?
I ran these numbers in the gematria calculator with interesting results:
(Remember the word values I’ve listed aren’t the only ones that exist. I encourage you to explore this for yourself and see what shows up for you personally)
Tangible or Intangible Experiences = 319 132/148/143/150/140/158/125/134/150/140…..(pattern repeats)
(ironically my name, Jackie = 39 and life = 32) (148 – human emotion) (some 143’s-resourceful, contentment, rehabilitation)(some 150’s – understanding, communication, divine planning, positive image) (some 140’s – interesting, observation) food-40) (some 158’s – quality of life, being yourself) feeling-58)
Hello to you. It’s been awhile since I posted anything. I am currently going through some challenging times in my life and haven’t been feeling like doing much. I hope something in what I will share here will help you if you find yourself visiting my blog today.
What I am currently facing is something similar to what I went through in my previous marriage. The experience of living with someone but feeling like you are just sharing a space but not truly connected like you once were. I call it, living alone together. It’s not a condition I want to exist but it currently does.
I am the sort of person who can get carried away into many different directions at once and find it difficult to be in the present moment all the time. To be in a healthy relationship with someone, I think you have to communicate and sometimes even that breaks down. For my husband and I, we have had the same conversations so many times, our own personal echo chamber if you will. After a time, things just get stale. We used to share a lot of the same interests but over time, things have changed for both of us. I think this world has changed and not necessarily for the better.
I am currently trying to find a way to navigate through my current circumstances and maintain a positive attitude. I have been writing letters, writing in a journal, taking pictures, cleaning and organizing the house, doing yard work, going for walks, doing crafts, trying to eat better and get enough sleep, trying to communicate more with loved ones as coping mechanisms. Our two dogs are affected by what is going on as much as we are. I think it must be very confusing to them.
I ran a couple of words-numbers phrases in line with this topic. As I have mentioned before in previous posts, I want to emphasize my interpretation of these numbers isn’t the only interpretation. You may see something else. You may be experiencing something else. It’s interesting to me to see the patterns. May be for your own experience there are other things you would add:
(shared/wages=55 true love/modification/scent glands/wonderful/concentrate=118 I’m sorry/nurture/humility/upbringing=117 temptation/community/don’t give up = 133 (the=33) people matter/brain function/peace for the brain = 146 (body=46)
metabolism = 109/140
“to have a healthy metabolism” = 260 174/159/118/117/133/146
(energy=74 five = 42 nine= 42 self=42 (the five senses of the body and nine (nein) or no self)
living alone = 120 156/128/141/128/141…..
living by yourself = 221 150/140/158/125/134/150/140/158/125
2 Sept 2019 Jackie Wygant cell phone picture horse apple tree next to abandoned house near The Family Dollar Alvarado TX
The other day I was walking to the Family Dollar down the street and happened to notice this beautiful tree living near an abandoned house across the street from our local Elementary School. I got to thinking about how nice it would be if that property could be annexed to the school for learning about plants and nature; like a nature learning center or something. There is a large field next to it I imagined being turned into a community garden and it could also be part of the learning center. I imagined children learning how to grow their own food and appreciating nature like I do.
Facts and Myths of Hedge Apples by Dr. Barbara Ogg, Extension Educator
This article appeared in the October 2001 NEBLINE Newsletter
This time of year, hedge apples – the fruit from the Osage-orange tree – are being sold at farmer’s markets, garden centers, and other locations. Many people have heard that these fruits can be used as an insect repellent, but the truth is that many people don’t know much else about this unusual tree and its fruit.
The Tree and Its Fruit:
The Osage-orange is a small to medium-sized tree, having a short trunk and a rounded or irregular crown. The twigs are buff to orange-brown and are armed with one-half inch long spines. The stems exude a milky sap when cut. The Osage-orange is dioecious, meaning that male and female flowers are produced on separate trees. The small, green flowers appear in May or June. Female trees produce 3-to 5-inch diameter fruit which ripen in September or October and fall to the ground.
Native Habitat and Current Distribution:
The Osage-orange is native to a small area in eastern Texas, southeastern Oklahoma, and southwestern Arkansas. This region is the home of the Osage Indians which gives the tree its common name. Settlers found that the Osage-orange transplanted easily, tolerated poor soils, extreme heat, and strong winds and had no serious insect or disease problems. It was widely planted in the Midwest as a living fence because, when pruned into a hedge, it provided an impenetrable barrier to livestock. The development of barbed wire curtailed its widespread planting, but many Osage-orange trees can still be found in fence rows.
Uses of the Osage-Orange:
The wood is extremely hard, heavy, durable and shrinks or swells little compared to the wood of other trees. The wood is used for fence posts, treenails, furniture, and archery bows. In fact, many archers consider the wood of the Osage-orange to be the world’s finest wood for bows. Another common name for this tree, bodark, is from the French bios d’arc meaning “bow wood.” This tree also produces a bright yellow dye which can be extracted from the wood.
The fruit of the Osage-orange is a nuisance in the home landscape and has little value. Hedge apples are not an important source of food for wildlife as most birds and animals find the fruit unpalatable. The thorny trees do provide nesting and cover for wildlife.
The belief about the use of hedge apples for insect control is widespread and persistent. it is claimed that placing hedge apples around the foundation or inside the basement will repel or control insects. A few years ago, Iowa State University toxicologists extracted compounds from hedge apples. When concentrated, these compounds were found to repel insects.
Scientists also found that natural concentrations of these compounds in the fruit were too low to be an effective repellent. So, don’t be fooled into spending much to use hedge apples as an insect repellent.
If you decide to pick hedge apples to check out the repellency yourself or to use the fruit as a fall decoration, it would be wise to wear gloves. The milky juice present in the stems and fruit of the Osage-orange can irritate the skin.
Looking for information about a specific insect pest or your local wildlife? Visit here.
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Hello to you. I’ve been away for quite awhile again. Lately there have been many things going on in my life that have required my attention on a personal, physical, emotional and spirit level while I am trying to heal from a recent fall. I won’t burden you with the details. This morning my husband and I can’t sleep again even with it being quiet and dark. A lot on our minds, bodies and spirits these days. I believe it is in our house and outside of our houses that affect us on every level – directly and indirectly by the very nature of how our systems are connected as living organisms.
One of the things on my mind right now is how to be there for my family and my friends and still have something left for me. In my current condition I am not able to be there for those I love in the same capacity I have been able to in the past and I kind of beat myself up for it! Am I being a bad friend? A bad daughter? A bad wife? Then comes the “shouldn’ing” all over myself which doesn’t help! So I ran a couple things to share with those of you who this might resonate with – those who might be feeling/going through this right now and have need of a different way to see it:
“Being there” = 93/98/91/76/117/133/146
9 = 42 = self (a “no” self as 5 also equals 42 but I think of this as the feeling/five senses/physical self) 3 = 56 = 42/52 (“self earth”)
98 = together 91= spirit 76 = humans 33= the 46 = body
Being there for a friend = 189
1=34 =one 8=49=alive 9=42=self (add 34 + 49 + 42 = 125 and 25 = all, “a all” = 26 which = God)
Sometimes we can’t be there like we want to for a friend or how a friend might expect us to be so we can pray for them to the God/Gods of our understanding. If you don’t like that – just even having a loving/positive thought for them. It is different for each of us. Sometimes we just can’t be there for someone like they think they want or need from us. An energy greater than ourselves must step in our place for them. For many, that is God.
2=58=feeling 5=42=self 3=56=light (add 58 + 42 + 56 = 156) (56’s I have found, why, light out and there are more but these are a couple)
156/128/141/128/141…. = a why a man a garbage? a why a man energy exchange.
For me personally, for the past several months, years…may be most of my life I have questioned my worth, my value….am I garbage? Did God make a mistake by making me? What I have had to do is find a way to make peace within myself so I don’t hate myself all the time. People like my husband, family, my friends all seem to love and care about me but if I don’t love myself, their energies are wasted on me. One of the hardest things I’ve ever done, still do, is tell the person in the mirror I love them.
As I age, that girl looking back at me has changed but when I look in her eyes, that little girl is still looking back at me and I can’t stop loving her. The God I know has changed through the years – stripped down now to energetic form. Why would God expend all that energy to make something and not love it? The human world is full now of creations cast aside, seeming mistakes. Are they really mistakes if God is in all of us? Made all of us? Who decides but God?! These are the questions of our time.
We have all been given a set of clothes to wear in this life and underneath them is energy, children of God. Sometimes our inner child gets lost and just wants to be comforted. We cast about in this world to get some relief from the pain that child may be enduring and we can’t find it! I have gone through that process so many times in my life and it was due in great part to a black, white and tan cocker spaniel named Sam that I found out nothing can fill the void that is created by loss but God. Isn’t it ironic that God turned around is dog. Yes, people living and dead in my life have taught me a great deal of life but with Sam there were no conditions.
I will close for now. I am typing one-handed so can’t do this so often. I hope something here is what you were looking for and or needed today.
IMG_5751 11 July 2019 proof of wasps taking care of the pecan tree out back Alvarado TX
11 July 2019 – cropped version of picture showing what’s going on. I felt bad for the caterpillar but to save it I would have had to kill the wasp. Our pecan tree has almost been completely taken over by caterpillars this summer. From what I have personally seen with my own eyes, Wasps help take care of the trees and I’ve been seeing less of them over the past few years.
IMG_5752 11 July 2019 proof of wasps taking care of the pecan tree out back Alvarado TX
*Seeing this today was like they were showing me, “Hey, look what my job is! I have value, I have worth!” We used to be mean to the wasps until I took the time to learn their job in nature actually is. From what I have personally witnessed, their purpose for existence includes trying to keep our trees healthy. Since trees are basically the lungs of the planet, I think that’s a pretty important job! I have read conflicting information about wasps online. My personal experience is they are helpers and teachers. What came through in the numbers is a pecan tree and a teacher have a pattern in common. What I believe is we all, whatever form, are teachers, students, messages and receivers of those messages. I believe everyone has value in one way or another. It’s not always easy to understand what we are trying to convey to each other. I don’t think we should give up trying!
133 – “don’t give up”
Wasp – 59/84/109/140/158/125/134/150/140/158/125/134/150/140…….
*remember, these are only just a few of the meanings of these numbers that I have found for myself and am sharing with you.
152’s – amber tree resin, positive drama, positive being,
pecan tree – 87/114/128/141/128/141……….
87- person, truth, roots, justice
pecan – 39/98/91/76/117/133/146
98 – killer bees (I found this value trying to figure out why people may have a fear of bees/wasps. Remember those old Killer bee television shows and movies? When I was a very small girl I can remember drinking a can of soda without realizing a bee was in the can and I got stung. I was pretty freaked out! It wasn’t the bee’s fault but a “seed of fear” was planted that I had to actively overcome through time. I did this through trying to understand them instead of thinking they were all bad. The same principle I have used towards other insects and life forms to include people. It’s not easy to do but for me personally, it has been worth trying to do.)
76 – humans
117’s – nurture, “I’m sorry,” dissection, projecting, “broken earth,” humility, upbringing, occupation, statement, cultivated, heartbroken, water falls (If you look at a pecan it looks like a human brain in the shell and they are considered a healthy food for the brain). http://www.alzheimersweekly.com/2016/11/pecans-provide-brain-boost.html
tree – 48/109/140/158/125/134/150/140/158/125/134/150/140/158/125/134/150……….
Hello to you. This morning has been a bit rough for me. I found out some upsetting news about the health of my neighbors and I found myself feeling very sad and powerless. What could I do but cry with them? Give them hug? Reassurance? Pass on their situation to people who I know are prayer/meditation warriors that could add their names to their list for daily intentions?
After breakfast I realized there was something else I could do not only for them but for myself. I lay down on the grass and talked and cried with the one I love so much, the Earth. I curled up into a ball like a small child and let it all go and was comforted just like being held in loving arms. I have done this before. It’s hard to remember sometimes, when you are all upset and stuck in a moment what to do or who to talk to about such things and get any kind of relief.
Some people talk to priests and people of the church, some call family, some talk to their pets, some people will dig deeper into work, exercise, hobbies…distractions and some people do destructive things because they just don’t know what else to do about what they are feeling.
Feelings get so big that you might feel like you could get lost in them and not find your way out. I’ve done all the things I’ve mentioned but the thing I did this morning has been the best for me. The Earth and sky is “big enough” to carry these things I take on sometimes. I feel bad dumping on other living beings with this kind of pain because it’s “so big.” I know how it feels when it happens to me. Most times, like this morning with our neighbors, I feel so small. I feel powerless and sad! Sometimes it’s so strong I just want to jump out of my skin!
The other thing I realized was this, and I ran the number values on it and the answers I got matched up for me:
“Focus on what you love, what you want to happen, don’t give power to what you don’t want in this world”
(Communication/Understanding/Fifty States = 150) (Purple heart = 140) (Quality of Life = 158) (All = 25)
Ordinal number value: 1109 174/159/118/117/133/146
Two people suffering with a difficult situation, a “90/9 divided by 2 = 4.5 = 9 cycle” set of circumstances. Some “74’s” are energy, Jesus, Lucifer, Alvarado, trauma, talking, cross, cloud and parts to name just a couple I’ve found in my journey with this system. I also turned to my Mom and Dad, a 47 and 74 in the number’s to ask for their prayers. The number 47 is also the value for Time. The number 59 is Wish, cruel and spare. The number 118 is witnessed. The number 117 “I’m sorry.” The number 133 condensation…tears. The number 146 relationship. These two neighbors have been so good to us ever since we moved here and those two are like peas and carrots together. It just hurts to see them going through this. I want the very best for them both.
So again this morning I had to remember the question/answer/phrase I use when there are bad storms and I want them to go away:
“What do you want to happen? Focus on what you want to happen not what you don’t.”
The Ordinal number value for this = 859/133/146.
“Who did I cry on? Who comforted me in my sorrow? The Earth. I lay down and wept and was comforted.”
Ordinal number value for this = 911 110/132/148/143/150/140/158/125/134/150
Comforted = 99 84/109/140/158/125/134/150
(Thirteen = 99) (Woman = 66, a right side up 99)
Emergency number = 168 135/132/148/143/150/140/158/125/134/150
(In United States you call 911 for help. Most people use a telephone or cell phone)
(human = 57) human being = 94) (humans = 76) (planet =68) (people = 69) (psychologist =168)
Good health = 95 84/109/140/158/125/134/150/140/158/125/134/150
“Turn a frown into a smile and turn the frown upside down” = 598/133/146
Powerless = 132/148/143/150/140/158/125/134/150
(Life = 32)
Powerful = 116 120/156/128/141/128
(Eternity = 116)
Thought = 99 84/109/140/158/125/134/150/140/158/125/134/150
Power = 77 130/154/136/142/152/134/150/140/158/125/134/150
“To show Emotion” = 191 110/132/148/143/150/140/158/125/134/150
Thanks for stopping by today! Hopefully something here will resonate with you at some level. Writing this helps me work through my feelings about painful experiences and this system often helps give me insights I didn’t have before I began exploring it.
To be 