4 Aug 2025 Joy

August 5, 2025 by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Health, Home, Mental Health, photography, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Describe one habit that brings you joy.

Hello to you. I hope this finds you well. Today’s prompt isn’t easy for me to answer. It should be after all Joy is literally my middle name! There isn’t one habit that springs to mind that brings me genuine joy. Ever since the divorce and changing from Lithium to Depakote feeling genuine emotion has been hard for me. Sometimes it feels like I am an actress playing a part of a human being. Prior to what happened to me about three years ago, I was a very emotional person. Tears and belly laughs came to me easily and that’s just not the case anymore. I have become a very serious person in my old age. I miss the silly and youthful woman I used to be!

The things that use to bring me joy and fulfillment aren’t a part of my life now. I use to crochet, make wire jewelry, experiment in my kitchen, draw, write poems and short stories, take lots of pictures, spend time with nature, sing and dance. The only things I still do is this blog and from time to time is take nature pictures! I guess I just haven’t found a way to completely fill the void getting divorced left in me. Loving Jesus is gradually healing me but it’s taking time! He is the great physician and I know in his time he will restore me to my best self again.

Picture from a walk with my cousin Laura a couple years ago

James 4:8-10New International Version

⁸Come near to God and he will come near to you.Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts,you double-minded. ⁹Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom.¹⁰Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.

3 Aug 2025 Thank You and Babby Farms

August 3, 2025 by saymber, posted in Animal Rights, animals, Bipolar life, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion

Hello to you! Hope this finds you well. Today has been a really good day. It began with church and a message that gave us the opportunity to thank those who God has worked through to get us where we are in our walk of faith:

2 Corinthians 3:3New International Version

³You show that you are a letter from Christ, the result of our ministry, written not with ink but with the Spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone but on tablets of human hearts.

As we left the service we were able to take a notecard to write a thank you note. What was nice about this is after church I was going to spend some time with one of my earth angels and friend who along with her husband, my cousin, have been instrumental in my walk with Jesus. I wrote a loving note to her and my cousin and got to see the impact it made! I gave her something she can refer back to in trying times.

We went to the Sunrise for breakfast and it was good as always. Then we drove out to Babby Farms in Caldwell. The admission wasn’t bad we got a military discount. It was quite hot out in the open so we enjoyed the shady spots for a breezy sit down. They had horses and various livestock some you could hand feed and some not. The ones you could feed were really eager to eat out of your hands! They had two camels with double humps that we watched for awhile. We walked the enclosure that had kangaroos and Tawna wanted so much to touch them but we didn’t. The place had a whole inside exhibit with marmosets, parrots, bats and fish and much more. Just when you thought you had seen everything there was more! There was a gray horse Tawna fell in love with – she gave them extra loves!

The gray horse that Tawna fell in love with

It was so nice to get to spend time with my dear friend and see some place new. The drive out to where Babbys is located was very rural and nice. You didn’t see all the land up for sale and I hope it stays that way! Nice to see lots of fields of farmland.

30 July 2025 Changing World

July 31, 2025 by saymber, posted in Animal Rights, animals, Bipolar life, Food, Home, human rights, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs

Hello to you. It’s Wednesday evening as I write to you. It was hot again so I am glad I got a walk in early. My lower back and hips have been bothering me again so I am going to sit out the second walk this evening. My mind is kind of scattered right now. I’ve been following the headlines and there is so much going on – especially praying for all those in the path of the tsunamis! Living here in Idaho we are pretty blessed in the weather department. We seldom have extremes certainly no tsunami’s!

I’ve been putting off going to the grocery store as long as I can. My fridge is empty except for some yogurts and potatoes- couple frozen meals in the freezer. I don’t love grocery shopping. I looked into having them delivered from Walmart but changed my mind. If I were to start that it would be one more thing to keep me isolated and stay out of shape. Getting groceries, even though I hate it, keeps me engaged with the town I live in. So tomorrow, after meeting for prayer, I will force myself to go get groceries.

Lately I have been a little lonely and bored but things will change as I get into August. I have some medical appts and this next Sunday, after church, I’m looking forward to seeing Tawna and having breakfast and going to Babby Farms animal sanctuary. It’s kind of sad that I have lived here in Middleton going on 5 years and I still don’t really know my neighbors all that well. All the friends I have made are at church! Thank God for that! At least it’s not like it was in Texas – 12 years and just one friend! It’s harder to make friends when we grow up.

A prayer to close:

Dear Jesus I pray for all the lives both human and animal affected by the earthquake and subsequent tsunamis. I pray for all of those affected in our world by violence and war. Especially the children who are not getting their basic needs met each day. Please help the animals in the food systems throughout the world. Let there be mercy and compassion. Help consumers demand more humane treatment of all animals who die each day that humans might live Please help the sick, the poor, the hungry and the homeless of our world. Through those of us that are blessed, may we be your bodies to do your good works in this world. Amen.

John 15:5-8New International Version

⁵“I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. ⁶If you do not remain in me, you are like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. ⁷If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. ⁸This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.

20 July 2025 Answers in Affliction

July 20, 2025 by saymber, posted in Health, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion

Hello to you. It’s a bright and cool Sunday as I write to you – only 78 degrees! I am back from church – good messages I needed to hear today. We were in 2 Corinthians 1. What spoke to me was this part:

2 Corinthians 1:3-4New International Version

Praise to the God of All Comfort

³Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, ⁴who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.

For going on 4 years I have been experiencing a pooling in my ears and balance issues as a result. I haven’t been officially diagnosed but I believe I have Mal De Debarquement Syndrome. It just won’t go away. I have had a brain scan and have seen an ear doctor and neither of them found anything. I am convinced this was triggered after being tased by police during a manic episode I had about 3 years ago. I had pooling in my ears but not the weeble wobbly sensation in my head. They say some kinds of trauma can trigger it. Every day I pray for healing but God has remained silent for a cure. I pray “let me be your miracle” and nothing has changed. Lots of people pray for me and still God has not moved. At least I am able to walk! I just have to pay close attention and I need to keep trying to lose more weight.

I comfort myself with passages like we read today. For some reason I am staying like this. May be so I can comfort others who have this affliction? For some reason God is not answering the prayers the way I am hoping. May be he has something else in mind!

For more info I got this from: https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/24796-mal-de-debarquement-syndrome-mdds

Mal de Débarquement Syndrome (MdDS)

Mal de débarquement syndrome (MdDS) is a rare vestibular disorder that makes you feel like you’re moving even when you’re not. MdDS is common after traveling, especially by boat. In most cases, MdDS symptoms go away within 24 hours. But they can linger for months or even years, in some instances.

16 July 2025 The Now

July 17, 2025 by saymber, posted in animals, Bipolar life, Home, In the News, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs

Hello to you. It’s another sunny and hot day here as I write to you. I hope this finds you well. If not I hope somehow God will show you how loved you are.

My thoughts this afternoon are about keeping my thoughts in the now. What sparked this was thinking about Link getting older. He’s showing signs of his age already- he will be 11 this December 9th. I can remember all too well how many pieces my heart was shattered at losing 4 pets in close succession when I lived in Texas. Two dogs and two cats – my fur babies Sam, Blondie, Amber and May. I think it was losing them that contributed to my many manic episodes that lead to my frequent hospitalizations. I never had children so they filled that maternal void in me. Losing them was so painful I could barely stand it!

Link is my second son and I try to avoid thinking of how losing him will break my heart again! I am trying to keep my thoughts in the now about him. Cherish each day the good Lord gives us together. I have said I don’t know if I will have another dog or cat after Link. As I stand here now, I don’t know if my heart will be able to take it! I say this now but who knows what God will have for me. Taking in Link helped heal my broken heart!

Dear Jesus I come before you to pray for this world and all its inhabitants. I pray for all the animals and those who are pet owners who may be on the verge of having to say that most painful of goodbyes. I pray for the flood victims and their families in Texas. I pray for the children of war torn regions of this world. I pray for the families struggling to make ends meet in this American economy. I pray for the world’s sick, poor and hungry. We need you now more than ever. I pray all this in your precious name. Amen.

15 July 2025 Feeling Better

July 16, 2025 by saymber, posted in Animal Rights, animals, Bipolar life, dreams, Health, human rights, Mental Health, Nature, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs

Hello to you. Hope this finds you well. It’s another hot day here in Idaho as I write to you – 91 degrees! I walked about a mile this morning after I got up. I’m trying to walk every day and offset the side effects of the medication I’m taking. Both the Depakote and Olanzapine are known to contribute to weight gain. I need to lose about 100 lbs! I’m tired of carrying all this extra weight.

I wanted to share a praise about how I felt yesterday. I haven’t felt that good in over a month! I finally got relief from anxiety! The Olanzapine (generic Zyprexa) has been making all the difference. The side effect of drowsiness has lead me to restful naps and sleep at night. I hope this lasts!

Oh! I had a very vivid short dream about mosquitos last night. I dreamt some really big ones landed on me and my trying to stop one that had a body that was like a syringe from some man’s neck. When I went to flick it away, some of the fluid in its body got in my mouth – that woke me up! It was like a genetically modified insect. Weird dream! I wonder where that came from?!! I think it’s from hearing about huge mosquitos at the detention center in Florida.

A prayer:

Dear Lord Jesus I pray for this world and all of the life within it. I pray for all the sick, the hungry, the poor and those who are lost in this world because they don’t know you or refuse to surrender to your loving care. I pray for all the lives human beings share this world with and that there can be an end to cruelty and neglect of our fellow animal brothers and sisters. I ask all this in your precious name Jesus. Amen.

11 July 2025 Answered Prayers

July 12, 2025July 12, 2025 by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Health, Home, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs

Hello to you. Hope this finds you well. I just wanted to give out a praise for answered prayers and God showing me his love through my family the past couple of days. As I mentioned in my previous blog I ran out of Olanzapine and it had been a couple of weeks. I was starting to have a real hard time using Benadryl to get me through. Well after some phone calls today my beautiful friend (my cousins wife) Tawna offered to drive me to the Boise VA to get lab work and pick up refills. Wow! That meant everything! Tawna is another person in my life that God works through and has for quite some time. We enjoyed having time to visit as with her busy life we don’t get to see eachother as much as we would like. The visit to the VA in Boise went really smoothly and took no time at all. Very friendly people there! We got a dose in me and went to our new Dairy Queen for lunch which was really nice and took a little walk. She visited with Link and I for a bit on my porch before she left. I love being with her!

I found out the reason my Dr. has been reluctant to up the dose of Olanzapine is because there are a lot of negative side effects the higher the dosage like weight gain and blood sugar for example. He upped my daily dose by taking it two times a day instead of just once which isn’t too much. I noticed today that it relaxed me quite a bit. With being Bipolar there is a fine line between being high and being low. Without the Olanzapine I was running fast and it’s very uncomfortable!

Bottom line today – God hears our prayers and uses us to help eachother! So blessed!

From my Aunt Ruth today:

“He remembered us in our weakness. His faithful love endures forever.”

Psalm 136:23 (NLT)

Lord, I am so grateful that nothing is impossible for You. Even when I feel overwhelmed by events going on around me. When I feel weak, defeated, helpless, or hurting I am not alone. You already knew I would be here and You continue to show me that You can handle anything. Nothing is a surprise to You! Today, please forgive me for the time that I have not trusted in You. Give me the courage to do Your will and show me how I can glorify Your Name. Thank You for always being there especially when I need You most! Jesus’ Name, my Lord, my God, Amen.

10 July 2025 Olanzapine

July 10, 2025 by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Health, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs

Hello to you. It’s a nice cool morning after a late afternoon thunderstorm yesterday. I got one walk in already! Sparklight, my WiFi provider, is down this morning. Apparently it’s a big outage with no word when it will be back up. Bummer!

This morning is another morning without Olanzapine (the generic for Zyprexa). What happened is I ran out before the next scheduled refill and have been taking Benadryl to get me through. Benadryl is a poor substitute and it wears off quickly plus it gives me the jitters sometimes! My next call with my psychiatrist I need to talk to him about the refill schedule and find out why it’s on a schedule like it is. I don’t have the same problem with refills for the Depakote I’m also taking for my Bipolar condition.

Philippians 4:13. “For I can do everything through Christ Jesus, who gives me strength.”.

22 June 2025 Tribulation

June 23, 2025 by saymber, posted in history, human rights, In the News, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Politics and Government, Social media, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you. Today began with church and the message was kind of heavy. We are working our way through the end times in Thessalonians and other scripture – specifically the book of Mark and the tribulation today. Pastor Jason has been trying to break down things so we can understand. With the recent bombing of Iran and events in Israel it’s very timely! What is the purpose of the tribulation? To prepare Israel for its savior and Gods pouring out judgement on unbelieving nations and individuals. The length of the tribulation is 3.5 year cycles. The first 3.5 cycle will see prosperity and peace and the second 3.5 cycle will see destruction and devastation. It feels like we are in a cycle of destruction and devastation but only God truly knows!

I left with a heavy heart. In light of everything that is going on – feeling like so many bad things are happening at once. We have had bad things happen before – it’s how we get our news that makes it seem worse than times before. It used to take months, even years to find out what we find out now in an instant. In an instant we look at our phones and we are inundated with this crime here, storm here, this conflict there. It can feel overwhelming! I have to remind myself that what matters most is my personal relationship with Jesus. As long as I hold fast to my belief in him and how I am in the world I have nothing to worry about. My nightly prayers always include the whole world – especially the children in war torn regions like Gaza. In all the wars around the world it is the children who suffer the most!

Mark 13:19-23New International Version

¹⁹because those will be days of distress unequaled from the beginning, when God created the world, until now—and never to be equaled again.

²⁰“If the Lord had not cut short those days, no one would survive. But for the sake of the elect, whom he has chosen, he has shortened them. ²¹At that time if anyone says to you, ‘Look, here is the Messiah!’ or, ‘Look, there he is!’ do not believe it. ²²For false messiahs and false prophets will appear and perform signs and wonders to deceive, if possible, even the elect. ²³So be on your guard; I have told you everything ahead of time.

19 June 2025 A Psalm For World Peace

June 20, 2025 by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, history, Home, human rights, In the News, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs

Hello to you. As I write to you this evening I wanted to find a psalm of peace. There is so much going on – every day it’s something. It’s hard to find comfort anywhere but in God. I hope this psalm I found helps you find some comfort!

Psalm 46New International Version

Psalm 46^[a]

For the director of music. Of the Sons of Korah. According to alamoth.^[b] A song.

¹God is our refuge and strength,
    an ever-present help in trouble.
²Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way
    and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,
³though its waters roar and foam
    and the mountains quake with their surging.^[c]

⁴There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,
    the holy place where the Most High dwells.
⁵God is within her, she will not fall;
    God will help her at break of day.
⁶Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall;
    he lifts his voice, the earth melts.

⁷The Lord Almighty is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress.

⁸Come and see what the Lord has done,
    the desolations he has brought on the earth.
⁹He makes wars cease
    to the ends of the earth.
He breaks the bow and shatters the spear;
    he burns the shields^[d] with fire.
¹⁰He says, “Be still, and know that I am God;
    I will be exalted among the nations,
    I will be exalted in the earth.”

¹¹The Lord Almighty is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress.