Category: Mental Health

24 Jan 2025 Where To Turn

by saymber, posted in Health, Home, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you. I hope you are well and if you’re not, and many people are not, I hope you have a good support system. Have you considered surrendering your life to Jesus? Lately I have been seeing so many people at a loss of where to turn when their lives are falling apart. I saw this a lot prior to the Tik Tok ban – people just didn’t know what to do! They made posts and just cried. When I saw these videos I just found myself asking, “do you believe in God? Have you talked to God about your problems?”

I am a relatively new Christian and prior to surrendering to Jesus I thought I had to carry the weight of the world on my own two shoulders. Thankfully when I reached my bottom with my mental health and my marriage God put people in my life to give me a soft place to land. I spent so many hours on the phone with my cousins wife Tawna! She thankfully had the time in her life that she could be there for the countless walk and talks on the phone. I spent time on the phone with much of my Idaho family – I walked miles talking to them. Things were so bad I couldn’t leave the house without having someone on the phone. I couldn’t eat a meal without someone on the phone. What was missing in all that drama was my being willing to turn to Jesus. They already believed in him and prayed for me and that gave them the spiritual strength to help me navigate the personal haunted hell I was living in. I just couldn’t see my own way out!

I surrendered to the Holy Spirit when I wanted to be free of alcoholism and it worked in a powerful way. Door after door opened and shut with that surrender. For some reason I didn’t do that in Texas. I guess I had been a pagan so long (12 years) that I didn’t think I could do it. I didn’t think I could turn myself completely to Jesus.

Right now I’m in the process of working with Jesus about my health and the answer is he is healing me in his time and way not mine. Some of what is going on with me will probably never change because there is no cure – just treatment and management. Jesus is showing me that. I just have to know where to turn when times get tough. Sometimes through prayer and reaching out Jesus uses the people in my life as his body to assist. That’s what we are all here for!

https://youtu.be/JMj1ggINLe4?si=W9Kt3RCeA8A0z1cm – The Chosen Jesus Heals at the Pool

John 5New English Translation

Healing a Paralytic at the Pool of Bethesda

5 After this[a] there was a Jewish feast,[b] and Jesus went up to Jerusalem. 2 Now there is[c] in Jerusalem by the Sheep Gate[d] a pool called Bethzatha[e] in Aramaic,[f] which has five covered walkways.[g] 3 A great number of sick, blind, lame, and paralyzed people were lying in these walkways.[h] 5 Now a man was there who had been disabled for thirty-eight years.[i] 6 When Jesus saw him lying there and when he realized[j] that the man[k] had been disabled a long time already, he said to him, “Do you want to become well?” 7 The sick man answered him, “Sir,[l] I have no one to put me into the pool when the water is stirred up. While I am trying to get into the water,[m] someone else[n] goes down there[o] before me.” 8 Jesus said to him, “Stand up! Pick up your mat[p] and walk.” 9 Immediately the man was healed,[q] and he picked up his mat[r] and started walking. (Now that day was a Sabbath.)[s]

19 Jan 2025 Being an Example

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Health, Home, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs

Hello to you. How are you? I’m doing well even though this world seems so crazy right now. Last night I experienced Tik Tok going dark and today it being back on. So nuts! A bunch of us went to an app called Favorite and others Clapper – so many their servers couldn’t handle it. Tomorrow Donald Trump will be sworn in and already things are changing and happening. I don’t know if I should be excited or scared!

I forced myself to go to church this morning. Some days it’s really hard for me! I’m always glad after I go it’s just the getting up and going. Today’s message came out of Colossians – all the things that Jesus is in the world. Pastor Jayson used clearing the windshield as an example of what Paul is doing in his writing. The past couple of Sundays and other gatherings have been trying to reach me – teach me. We are living testimonies of Jesus in the world and not meant to just be seat warmers on Sunday. We as Christians are meant to be examples of Jesus’s love in the world. Right now, as I look at my life, I feel like there is more I should be doing to be that example. Sometimes I feel the 12 years of being a pagan slipping in. I feel like my faith and practice is shallow- I feel almost like a fraud! There is work to be done and I’m reluctant to do it. I am going to a Bible study with my Aunt and go to a prayer meeting each Thursday and that helps.

Ever since I have been back on Depakote to treat my Bipolar symptoms – especially the mania- I don’t have deep feelings. My emotions don’t feel authentic. I used to feel things very deeply and now I don’t hardly have feelings at all! Depakote is one of the best medications for Bipolar but I hate what it has done to me as side effects! I still haven’t cried about my Dads passing over a year ago! It’s such a fragile balance between being “normal” and being too emotional – manic. What I’ve been going through is why many stop taking their meds. When I tell people I love them I don’t feel it like I used to. It feels like just words. How can I be an example of Jesus’s love in the world and be this way?! I feel like I am pretending and not authentically being. I am surrounded by such authentic Christians and I feel like I’m just trying to fit in! I have a tattoo of a chameleon on my right arm and it sometimes feels like I am such a being. I’m trying to fit in to a life that feels like I’m pretending sometimes.

I have been talking to Jesus about all of this. Last night we talked about how he is the only man in my life that will never leave me. Two marriages have ended because of my being Bipolar. I am going to be 57 this next month and the older I get the less likely it will be that I have another flesh and blood man in my life. The older I get the less I even want the complications of someone else’s life in mine! I just need to keep praying and remain open to where I am lead. I want to be a positive example of Christ in this world with the time I have left. I just want to feel it and not just go through the motions! May be by my sharing what I’m going through I am fulfilling Jesus’s purpose in my life. I can’t give up – I know that!

I hope my words in this message help someone besides just me!

Colossians 1:15-23New International Version

The Supremacy of the Son of God

15 The Son is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation. 16 For in him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things have been created through him and for him. 17 He is before all things, and in him all things hold together. 18 And he is the head of the body, the church; he is the beginning and the firstborn from among the dead, so that in everything he might have the supremacy. 19 For God was pleasedto have all his fullness dwell in him, 20 and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether things on earth or things in heaven, by making peacethrough his blood, shed on the cross.

21 Once you were alienated from God and were enemies in your minds because of[a] your evil behavior. 22 But now he has reconciled you by Christ’s physical body through death to present you holy in his sight, without blemish and free from accusation— 23 if you continue in your faith, established and firm, and do not move from the hope held out in the gospel. This is the gospel that you heard and that has been proclaimed to every creature under heaven, and of which I, Paul, have become a servant.

5 Jan 2025 Connection

by saymber, posted in Animal Rights, animals, Bipolar life, Health, Home, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello there! How are you? Hope this finds you well. I went to church today and there were a lot of good messages. What resonated with me was the word of the year: Connection and how God uses people in our lives to do what he cannot tangibly do. I had been struggling with a decision about whether or not to join my Aunt in a Bible study. She reassured me today when I went over to her and Uncle Johns place to visit that Pastor Jayson’s message was for me! First of all there were hugs! I’m so grateful for those! It couldn’t be more loud and clear! So I’m planning on joining her for the Bible study I just won’t order the workbook – they tend to be a waste of money for me. Some days it’s a real struggle to get out of my own head! She also filled out a prayer card for me to pray for healing from the balance issues I have that make it difficult for me to do most anything physical. I’m so blessed to have such a wonderful support system. Sometimes I feel so alone but like what happened today reassures me that I am far from it. My family and my church friends are there to fill the void in my life. Link can only do so much!

Part of the reason I am reluctant to be gone a lot and hold back from connection in my life is I don’t like leaving Link by himself a lot. This is a dilemma common to pet owners. I know what it’s like to be alone without him around and it’s almost unbearable! I have always had a problem with being away from my animals or leaving them in someone else’s care. That’s probably why I don’t know if I will have any more after Link journeys on. Part of my thinking that way is I don’t know if I can take having my heart broken again!

Part of the New Year
Messages for today that resonated with me

Psalm 86:11New International Version

11 Teach me your way, Lord,
    that I may rely on your faithfulness;
give me an undivided heart,
    that I may fear your name.

4 Jan 2025 Greatest Gift

by saymber, posted in Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

What is the greatest gift someone could give you?

Hello to you. Just got back from walking Link on this sunny Saturday afternoon. In so many ways he is a gift! He gives me cuddles, time and unconditional love. There is a reason dog spelled backwards is god! Someday he will break my heart as all pets do eventually. I try not to dwell on that too much!

I would say Jesus Christ is truly the greatest gift of all time. He is always there for you no matter what and he puts people and animals in your life to do what he cannot (tangible expressions of love like hugs). He gave the gift of his life for our salvation. I firmly believe that he has done that for me and I see him working in those he has surrounded me with. Sometimes I doubt his presence and then circumstances will happen in my life and my faith is restored. There have been hard times, the valleys, and he has restored me.

James 1:17New International Version

17 Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.

2 Jan 2025 Happy New Year? Challenges

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Health, history, Home, human rights, In the News, Mental Health, Politics and Government, Social media, Spirituality and Religion, trust, Veteran Affairs

What are your biggest challenges?

Hello to you! The reason behind the question mark is because of all the stuff that has been happening already in this new year! Terrorism, weird particulate fog and more people driving into crowds like in New Orleans are just a couple examples. People have just lost their damn minds and we are barely into the new year! The fog with small particles was reported in Florida and now it’s all over and it’s causing respiratory problems.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-14239417/thick-fog-mystery-chemical-smell-reports.html

A thick fog is sweeping across the US with locals in multiple states reporting how a ‘burning chemical-like smell’ has blanketed their communities.

Concerned Americans have flooded social media with videos of what looks like white particles raining down and swirling in the air. 

Some witnesses have also claimed the fog has also triggered health symptoms similar to a respiratory illness.

A Florida resident told DailyMail.com that they stopped at a gas station for about 10 minutes and began feeling ill.

‘Within about and hour, I kept sneezing over and over for about three hours, and my eyes were really puffy,’ she said.

‘I got very warm and I felt like I had a fever, and my stomach was cramping.’ 

Parts of Texas, Wisconsin, Iowa, Maryland, Virginia, West Virginia, Nebraska, Kansas, Oklahoma, North Dakota, Florida, and Minnesota were under fog alerts when the bizarre reports surfaced this week.

Similar experiences have also emerged from parts of Canada and the UK, sparking widespread concern.

Conspiracy theories are running rampant with people suggesting the fog could be a kind of chemical weapon or is related to the drones that mysteriously plagued the nation in December.

‘Well weren’t there drones that sprayed something? I seem to recall some videos of that somewhere… No idea of the validity though,’ asked one X user.

A Texas woman shared on X that her dog has been ‘acting strange’ when it goes outside.

She] keeps smelling the air,’ Sandra Jenkins Webb posted, adding that she was experiencing burning eyes, a mild cough, stomach aches and headaches.

Another woman in Kansas shared that there were ‘massive amounts of chemtrails’ over the area in a week, followed by a dense fog.

And a California resident shared on X Monday: ‘Here in SoCal, unusual fog the last few days. Strange smells, but I’ve been noticing the smell for months now, burns my nose. Seems like an all-out assault from the skies the last few days.’ 

David Bamber, from St Petersburg, Florida, shared a TikTok video of himself walking through the dense fog.

He explained that fog typically dissipates later in the day, but the the current natural phenomenon lingers into all hours of the night.

‘The weirdest part is the taste and smell,’ said Bamber.  ‘It’s smells like after you set off a bunch of fireworks and the taste of the air is toxic. It is super weird.’

However, the National Weather Service (NWS) issued a dense fog advisory for multiple states, suggesting there could be a scientific explanation behind the bizarre reports.

While the particles may seem unusual, fog is a visible aerosol consisting of tiny water droplets or ice crystals suspended in the air at or near the Earth’s surface.

Shining a light in the fog makes these particles visible.

As for the ‘chemical’ smell people have described, the fog can absorb and trap polluted air near the Earth’s surface, acting as a carrier for car exhaust, industrial emissions and other airborne chemicals.

‘When fog forms, sulfur oxides, nitrogen oxides, and other polluting gases are taken up or ‘scavenged’ by fog water droplets,’ explained Rudolf Husar, a Washington University atmospheric scientist, in an article for NASA Earth Observatory.

What’s more, smells become more potent in humid air because the water droplets trap the odor-causing molecules and allow them to linger for longer and remain concentrated.   

This is not unusual for this time of year. 

Fog forms when the temperature cools to the dew point, or the temperature at which air can become completely saturated with water. 

Much of the fog currently hanging over the US is likely advection fog, which typically forms in winter when warm, moist air flows over colder land.

This is commonly seen over the southern or central US, where many affected states are located.   

(There is more to this article to include video if you use link)

So what are my biggest challenges? One of them is staying on a regular sleep schedule. Another is not wanting to eat junk food and sweets so I can lose weight. One of my biggest challenges is getting out of my small little world I share with Link. Since I don’t like to drive that much it makes it hard for me to have a social life.

I want for this in my life. Sometimes it feels like my faith alone is just not strong enough:

Psalm 34:4New International Version

4 I sought the Lord, and he answered me;
    he delivered me from all my fears

18 Dec 2024 Top 5 Grocery Items

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, human rights, In the News, Mental Health, Money, Spirituality and Religion

List your top 5 grocery store items.

Hello to you this sunny Wednesday afternoon. It was really warm here today. The sunshine felt great! As I write to you our world is in a very strange state. It feels like we are on the precipice of something big happening. You can feel it in the air – anticipation. The response for many is does any of this change whether or not I have to pay my bills, buy groceries and other essentials. Does any of this affect me personally? For me it’s a wait and see kind of thing. What comes to me is to prepare one thing for whatever is building – prepare your soul. If you fortify your temple you will be able to withstand whatever is coming.

Today’s prompt kind of ties into my thoughts on our shared future. For many the trip to the grocery store is pure sticker shock! The top 5 things I consistently get from the grocery store is water, milk, eggs, hard salami and shredded cheddar cheese. Other regular items are butter, cranberry juice and mini wheat cereal. For just me I seldom get away without spending over $100 a trip and my cart isn’t full. The hard salami is almost $7 a package! If anything happens to grocery stores I will be one of many millions who will suffer.

Inside of me all that is happening feels like a great reveal – revelation. Here is an excerpt from the book of Revelations: about the second coming of Jesus Christ:

Revelation 22New International Version

Eden Restored

22 Then the angel showed me the river of the water of life, as clear as crystal, flowing from the throne of God and of the Lamb 2 down the middle of the great street of the city. On each side of the river stood the tree of life, bearing twelve crops of fruit, yielding its fruit every month. And the leaves of the tree are for the healing of the nations. 3 No longer will there be any curse. The throne of God and of the Lamb will be in the city, and his servants will serve him. 4 They will see his face, and his name will be on their foreheads.5 There will be no more night. They will not need the light of a lamp or the light of the sun, for the Lord God will give them light. And they will reign for ever and ever.

John and the Angel

6 The angel said to me, “These words are trustworthy and true. The Lord, the God who inspires the prophets, sent his angel to show his servants the things that must soon take place.”

7 “Look, I am coming soon! Blessed is the one who keeps the words of the prophecy written in this scroll.”

8 I, John, am the one who heard and saw these things.And when I had heard and seen them, I fell down to worship at the feet of the angel who had been showing them to me. 9 But he said to me, “Don’t do that! I am a fellow servant with you and with your fellow prophets and with all who keep the words of this scroll. Worship God!”

10 Then he told me, “Do not seal up the words of the prophecy of this scroll, because the time is near.11 Let the one who does wrong continue to do wrong; let the vile person continue to be vile; let the one who does right continue to do right; and let the holy person continue to be holy.”

Epilogue: Invitation and Warning

12 “Look, I am coming soon! My reward is with me,and I will give to each person according to what they have done. 13 I am the Alpha and the Omega, the First and the Last, the Beginning and the End.

14 “Blessed are those who wash their robes, that they may have the right to the tree of life and may go through the gates into the city. 15 Outside are the dogs, those who practice magic arts, the sexually immoral, the murderers, the idolaters and everyone who loves and practices falsehood.

16 “I, Jesus, have sent my angel to give you[a] this testimony for the churches. I am the Root and the Offspring of David, and the bright Morning Star.”

17 The Spirit and the bride say, “Come!” And let the one who hears say, “Come!” Let the one who is thirsty come; and let the one who wishes take the free gift of the water of life.

18 I warn everyone who hears the words of the prophecy of this scroll: If anyone adds anything to them, God will add to that person the plagues described in this scroll. 19 And if anyone takes words away from this scroll of prophecy, God will take away from that person any share in the tree of life and in the Holy City, which are described in this scroll.

20 He who testifies to these things says, “Yes, I am coming soon.”

Amen. Come, Lord Jesus.

21 The grace of the Lord Jesus be with God’s people.Amen.

17 Dec 2024 Today

by saymber, posted in Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Is your life today what you pictured a year ago?

Hello to you. How are you? I hope well. Today’s prompt is pretty easy. The answer is no. My life today is nothing like I could have pictured a year ago. A year ago I still had fear of going places and doing things and that limited me a lot. Just this past year I have learned to ask for help more when I need it. Asking for help is something I have always struggled with. For example driving at night. This year I have started to ask for rides versus just not going places when I have been invited.

Psalm 145:18-19New International Version

18 The Lord is near to all who call on him,
    to all who call on him in truth.
19 He fulfills the desires of those who fear him;
    he hears their cry and saves them.

16 Dec 2024 Lessons

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Exploring numeric value of words in English language, Health, history, In the News, Mental Health, Politics and Government, Science (Keshe Foundation and other innovations), Spirituality and Religion, Television, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

What skills or lessons have you learned recently?

Hello to you. Hope this finds you well. I don’t know if you have been following the drone sighting reports but they are showing up everywhere now. I stumbled onto a Dr. Steven Greer who is saying this is all part of some kind of psyops operation. He says he has people who know what’s really going on that will be coming forward if they are not assassinated first. He has a film out The Battle For Disclosure that you can pay to see on Amazon Prime. I believe with the near hysteria about this that some of the sightings are explainable but some videos I have seen do not resemble anything of this earth. I am hoping the real ones will eventually allow for contact! Imagine the advances we could make in this world – free energy and a cure for cancer for example. We could truly have a Golden Age as a planet. 🌎

In answer to today’s prompt I would have to say it’s been a long time since I have learned anything new as far as a skill or lesson. Once you get to my age you start to get set in your ways! I try to remain teachable. The last time I really was learning something new was when I was following the Keshe Foundation. My kitchen became a lab and I was exploring making copper coils. I made healing wands as a variation of what I learned from Keshe. It’s been about 5 or 6 years since I was doing that. I was also really into making orgonite both with epoxy resin and then later with natural ingredients that I shaped into bowls. One of the bowls I made even gave off a measurable electric signature. Then there was the stuff I was doing with translating words into numbers – I got so fixated on that and was manic. I haven’t been doing that anymore! I have huge books of notes of my work that I don’t think I could read anymore.

When something captures my attention, I can get rather obsessive about it and it becomes all I think about!

As of late, like the past couple of years, I have been learning about Christianity. For example I learned that baptism when we are infants isn’t the same as doing it later in life- consciously choosing to be baptized. At some point I will choose to be baptized! Every Sunday there is a new lesson but sometimes it takes me awhile to get it. I have started to actually use the bulletins and write down things – I hadn’t been doing that before. I retain things better if I write it down.

This past Sunday we explored the garden of joy as it was near the tomb where Jesus was laid to rest and where he rose again:

John 19:38-42New International Version

The Burial of Jesus

38 Later, Joseph of Arimathea asked Pilate for the body of Jesus. Now Joseph was a disciple of Jesus, but secretly because he feared the Jewish leaders.With Pilate’s permission, he came and took the body away. 39 He was accompanied by Nicodemus, the man who earlier had visited Jesus at night. Nicodemus brought a mixture of myrrh and aloes, about seventy-five pounds.[a] 40 Taking Jesus’ body, the two of them wrapped it, with the spices, in strips of linen. This was in accordance with Jewish burial customs. 41 At the place where Jesus was crucified, there was a garden, and in the garden a new tomb, in which no one had ever been laid. 42 Because it was the Jewish day of Preparation and since the tomb was nearby, they laid Jesus there.

It was a very dramatic thing when Jesus died:

Matthew 27:51New International Version

51 At that moment the curtain of the temple was torn in two from top to bottom. The earth shook, the rocks split.

This scripture from Matthew is what we think of when we think of the birth of Jesus:

Matthew 2:10-11New International Version

10 When they saw the star, they were overjoyed. 11 On coming to the house, they saw the child with his mother Mary, and they bowed down and worshiped him. Then they opened their treasures and presented him with gifts of gold, frankincense and myrrh.

This scripture from John illustrates the true joy of the garden! He fulfilled his promise and prophesy:

John 20:1-17New International Version

The Empty Tomb

20 Early on the first day of the week, while it was still dark, Mary Magdalene went to the tomb and saw that the stone had been removed from the entrance.2 So she came running to Simon Peter and the other disciple, the one Jesus loved, and said, “They have taken the Lord out of the tomb, and we don’t know where they have put him!”

3 So Peter and the other disciple started for the tomb.4 Both were running, but the other disciple outran Peter and reached the tomb first. 5 He bent over and looked in at the strips of linen lying there but did not go in. 6 Then Simon Peter came along behind him and went straight into the tomb. He saw the strips of linen lying there, 7 as well as the cloth that had been wrapped around Jesus’ head. The cloth was still lying in its place, separate from the linen. 8 Finally the other disciple, who had reached the tomb first, also went inside. He saw and believed. 9 (They still did not understand from Scripture that Jesus had to rise from the dead.) 10 Then the disciples went back to where they were staying.

Jesus Appears to Mary Magdalene

11 Now Mary stood outside the tomb crying. As she wept, she bent over to look into the tomb 12 and saw two angels in white, seated where Jesus’ body had been, one at the head and the other at the foot.

13 They asked her, “Woman, why are you crying?”

“They have taken my Lord away,” she said, “and I don’t know where they have put him.” 14 At this, she turned around and saw Jesus standing there, but she did not realize that it was Jesus.

15 He asked her, “Woman, why are you crying? Who is it you are looking for?”

Thinking he was the gardener, she said, “Sir, if you have carried him away, tell me where you have put him, and I will get him.”

16 Jesus said to her, “Mary.”

She turned toward him and cried out in Aramaic,“Rabboni!” (which means “Teacher”).

17 Jesus said, “Do not hold on to me, for I have not yet ascended to the Father. Go instead to my brothersand tell them, ‘I am ascending to my Father and your Father, to my God and your God.’”

10 Dec 2024 Dreaming of Dad

by saymber, posted in animals, Bipolar life, dreams, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Writing and blogging

Hello to you. Hope this finds you well. Yesterday was a nice day. It was Links birthday and we had sunshine for the first day in what seems forever. We get what’s called inversion here in Idaho and it’s hard for the sun to burn through it. It’s back to gray now! Sigh!

The birthday boy!

This morning I had an answer to a prayer in a dream. I have been wanting to hear from my Dad in the dream world and I finally did. We were in a car going somewhere and I had my hand on his knee and apparently it felt hot to him. He said I had fallen asleep and I didn’t remember falling asleep – I must have felt safe. Being with Dad always felt safe. Then we were on some military base because I could see a map. I was talking about a part of it that never had coverage or something. We were talking about planning another visit that coincided with an anniversary and then I woke up. It felt so real! I didn’t want it to end! What’s funny is my prayer before bed was that someday I would see all those that have passed again. That we will all be together again and I specifically spoke of my Dad. We didn’t get to say goodbye to eachother. It’s been a little over a year since he’s passed. Having visits in dreams with lost loved ones is one of my favorite things about dreams!

In Genesis Joseph had prophetic dreams. The dream world is mentioned a lot in the Bible:

Genesis 37:5-11New International Version

5 Joseph had a dream, and when he told it to his brothers, they hated him all the more. 6 He said to them, “Listen to this dream I had: 7 We were binding sheaves of grain out in the field when suddenly my sheaf rose and stood upright, while your sheaves gathered around mine and bowed down to it.”

8 His brothers said to him, “Do you intend to reign over us? Will you actually rule us?” And they hated him all the more because of his dream and what he had said.

9 Then he had another dream, and he told it to his brothers. “Listen,” he said, “I had another dream, and this time the sun and moon and eleven stars were bowing down to me.”

10 When he told his father as well as his brothers, his father rebuked him and said, “What is this dream you had? Will your mother and I and your brothers actually come and bow down to the ground before you?” 11 His brothers were jealous of him, but his father kept the matter in mind.

3 Dec 2024 Change

by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, drawing, Health, Mental Health, photography, space, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

What is one thing you would change about yourself?

Hello to you. Hope this finds you well. Today has been uneventful. I am feeling a little better after catching another cold. There was talk about something happening today with regard to space people but of course nothing happened! I am thinking something is brewing with the increase in sightings. I am thinking it has to do with the increasing unrest going on in the world – Sabre rattling about using nukes. If I was a space person watching all of what’s going on I think I would want to intervene too!

My answer to today’s prompt is if I could change one thing about myself I would not be Bipolar. Having this diagnosis has really limited me in so many ways. I have lost two marriages and many friendships and relationships with family. I lost a career because of this condition. The only good thing to ever come of being Bipolar was the wellspring of energy and creativity during the times I was manic. I would hardly sleep and my creative abilities seemed endless. I could draw, paint, sing, write, take awesome photos, dance, tap into the spiritual realms – all of this with little to no effort. Having the mania under control with the medication I’m on – Depakote- I can’t do much of anything anymore. This blog is my only outlet! In addition to Bipolar I have the Mal de barque syndrome where I have trouble with balance. I’m convinced it was triggered by my being tased by police when I was having a manic episode two years ago. It just won’t go away! So I guess there are actually two things I wish I could change!

Since I cannot change what I am, I have to push through with it all. I have to force myself to move forward even if I don’t want to. I pray a lot and ask for healing. I am trying to say yes more often when I would usually say no. One of the side affects of Depakote is weight gain and not feeling full after eating. With the balance challenges it’s hard to exercise to get rid of calories but I force myself to get a walk in with Link each day. I’m trying to lower my calorie count too. I am trying to say no more often to eating sweets which is my favorite type of food! Not all of what I am can be blamed on being Bipolar! I wish I could get back to size 16 jeans again. Obesity runs in my Dads side of the family so my genetics are kind of stacked against me along with my diagnosis.

Some scripture about change:

  • Ecclesiastes 3:1-2“To everything there is a season, and a time for every purpose under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to uproot”. 
  • Isaiah 43:18-19“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?”. 
  • Psalm 30:5“Weeping may stay for the night, but rejoicing comes in the morning”. 
  • Romans 8:28“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose”. 
  • 2 Corinthians 5:17“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!”. 
  • Hebrews 13:8“Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever”. 
  • Malachi 3:6“I the Lord do not change. So you, the descendants of Jacob, are not destroyed”. 
  • James 1:17“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows”. 
  • Ephesians 4:22-24“You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness”.