10 August 2023 Alternate Universe

August 10, 2023August 10, 2023 by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Health, human rights, In the News, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Movies, Politics and Government, Science (Keshe Foundation and other innovations), space, Spirituality and Religion, Television, trust, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Describe your life in an alternate universe.

Hello to you. How are you? I’m just back from my weekly prayer group and getting my blood drawn to check my Depakote levels. It was nice to be able to just drive up the road to get the blood work done instead of going all the way to Boise. Looking forward to this afternoon and helping out with a hotdog event for the church at Middle Creek Elementary School. I will be helping to serve the hot dogs.

Todays prompt provokes thoughts of a lot of “what if’s.” What if my birth mother had not taken her life- would I even be writing to you right now? I would not have met my stepmother and all her family. I wouldn’t of probably been as close to my Grandparents. Would I have ever been in the Mental Health system at all? So much of an alternate universe for me depends on the very beginning of my life and the subsequent choices I made growing up. In an alternate universe I’m pretty sure I would of had at least one child. I would probably still be married because I wouldn’t have the Bipolar diagnosis going on or if I did it would be under control.

I envision alternate universe where there would be no hunger, no poverty, clean affordable food and water for everyone, affordable shelter, clean affordable and sustainable energy to meet all our needs, flying cars with auto pilot functions, everyone would be healthier but if you did get sick, you would have access to affordable and trustworthy medical care. I think of so many science fiction movies and television shows that have healing chambers or hand held healing devices. In an alternate universe where the needs of the people were put before arms and war making – life would be great! I feel like we should be much further along in our development as a country – as a world.

Where is the Med-Bay from the movie Elysian?

Medical tricoder from Star Trek Next Generation

I still have hope in living to see the world I envision manifest into reality! Jesus was the divine physician.

Matthew 8:1-4New International Version

Jesus Heals a Man With Leprosy

8 When Jesus came down from the mountainside, large crowds followed him. ²A man with leprosy^[a] came and knelt before him and said, “Lord, if you are willing, you can make me clean.”

³Jesus reached out his hand and touched the man. “I am willing,” he said. “Be clean!”Immediately he was cleansed of his leprosy.⁴Then Jesus said to him, “See that you don’t tell anyone. But go, show yourself to the priest and offer the gift Moses commanded, as a testimony to them.”

7 August 2023 Happiness

August 7, 2023 by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Food, Health, Leading Life by Example, Music, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

List 30 things that make you happy.

Hello to you. How are you? Todays prompt is tough for me as I think it’s been since before my divorce I’ve been truly happy. Last night I dreamt about being with my ex and we were so happy in the dream he suggested we put our wedding rings back on- talk about my brain manufacturing wishful thinking! Yet it was so vivid and romantic! Truth be told though that ship has definitely sailed. As the years pass since the divorce the more I have come to believe that Kyle was it for me. I always said if I couldn’t make things work with him I would end up alone. Being Bipolar 1 has been a marriage/relationship killer for me.

So what makes me happy? Let’s see – food like desserts, Link, my family, a good movie or television show, a good song, nature (especially flowers and clouds), Jesus – experiencing him at Church and in the world, helping others and that’s about it. Can’t come up with 30!

Something I want to mention happened this past Sunday at church both moved me and made me happy. We were singing and I stopped to look around and I almost started to cry. I thought what if this is like heaven? The song we were singing was Blessed Assurance. One of the reasons I almost cried too was hearing a little girl behind me singing her little heart out! So sweet! I just got to thinking about what heaven might be like. A place where there is peace – no fighting – and a lot of beautiful music all day long every day. I miss singing next to my Mom and Dad at church. The Catholic Church has such beautiful hyms,

https://youtu.be/Bsdl8DSZfRo – Elevation Worship Blessed Assurance (lyric video)

Blessed Assurance

Lyrics

Blessed assurance, Jesus is mine!
Oh, what a foretaste of glory divine!
Heir of salvation, purchase of God
Born of his Spirit, washed in His blood

This is my story, this is my song
Praising my Savior all the day long
This is my story, this is my song
Praising my Savior all the day long

Perfect submission, perfect delight
Visions of rapture now burst on my sight
Angels descending bring from above
Echoes of mercy, whispers of love

This is my story, this is my song
Praising my Savior all the day long
This is my story, this is my song
Praising my Savior all the day long
Praising my Savior all the day long

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Don Wyrtzen / Fanny Crosby / Phoebe Knapp

Blessed Assurance lyrics © Word Music Llc, Integrity Music, Word Music, Llc, Curb Word Music

Ecclesiastes 3:12-13 NIV12

I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live. 13 That each of them may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all their toil-this is the gift of God.

4 August 2023 Random Act Of Kindness

August 4, 2023 by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Health, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Nature, Science (Keshe Foundation and other innovations), Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Write about a random act of kindness you’ve done for someone.

Hello to you. How are you? I’m feeling pretty good. I spoke with my doctor yesterday and we worked out a plan. I will be doubling my dose of Depakote (1000mg) and going back to 10 mg of the Olanzapine at night. I’m not going to be taking the Abilify. I will also have the olanzapine for as needed as sometimes that happens. I was grateful he called me back! It felt like an answered prayer as I was feeling pretty left out there. Prayer said out loud in a group really works fast!

I like todays prompt but I can’t remember specific times I’ve done it! It’s a combination of it being a long time since I’ve had a *mission and being taught not to toot your own horn! Don’t let your left hand know what your right hand is doing kind of thing. I’m sure I’ve done good things but I’m so in the moment I forget later what I’ve done. When I was younger and had more energy I used to do a lot more – my ex and I liked helping people together. On my own I can remember paying someone’s toll. When I was working with the homeless I can remember giving them a ride a couple times. I remember my ex telling me a couple stories. He helped a guy at a gas station with a ride and once he was at the video game store and the person in front of him was short a dollar. He paid the dollar. Well that very same day I was cutting the lawn guess what blew into the yard? A dollar bill!

*When I talk about a mission I’m talking about those times when I’ve spontaneously decided to go somewhere and it’s like a God thing. I’m exactly where and when I’m supposed to be there. It’s usually meeting someone who needs me or that person will have a message for me.

Matthew 6:3New International Version

³But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing,

I was looking through my spiritual playlist on my YouTube channel and this was at the top. Dr. Emoto’s work with water is very inspiring:

https://youtu.be/tAvzsjcBtx8– Water, Consciousness & Intent : Dr. Masaru Emoto

3 August 2023 Prayer Team

August 3, 2023 by saymber, posted in animals, Bipolar life, Health, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Music, Nature, photography, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you – how are you? I’m just back from meeting with our church’s prayer team. I asked the members to pray for me. I am having problems with my new medication which causes anxiety. I tried to get in touch with my doctors nurse yesterday but was unsuccessful! I was able to get an appointment scheduled earlier which is good.

I’m grateful for our prayer team. Going each Thursday gives me a purpose. I walk there and walk home. Going gives me a reason to pray and connect with Jesus with other followers. There is such a beautiful fellowship. We are up to four members now! Today we had a lot to pray for to include several people that have been missing due to health related issues. Our group leader has a call list and checks on many of the people. Today was our youngest members Briana’s 29th birthday!

1 John 1:7New International Version

⁷But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all^[a]sin.

https://youtu.be/jqlQIJWIT5o – Chris Tomlin Yes and Amen

2 August 2023 Traditions

August 2, 2023 by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Health, Home, Mental Health, Music, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

What traditions have you not kept that your parents had?

Hello there – how are you? Last night I decided to see if it’s the abilify that is causing me to be anxious and run fast – affect my sleep. I took two Depakote instead – sure enough I was able to sleep and feel like I rested. I think my body is used to it. The abilify makes me feel too high. I need to talk to my doctor about all this. I called and left a message for the pharmacist that gave me tapering off instructions from the olanzapine which I wasn’t able to do because I ran out of it and they didn’t refill it. Hopefully she will call me back today.

Todays prompt makes me think of Christmas. My parents and my ex and I used to have a tradition of telling each other what specifically we wanted for Christmas and that’s what we would get. My Mom used to send holiday treats up until a year ago or so. With Dad being in a nursing home things have changed and understandably so. We don’t exchange gifts anymore – just cards. Since moving here to Idaho, I have been indoctrinated into new traditions for the family here. They are similar to what I grew up with but slightly different. They do a white elephant gift exchange where everyone brings a gift of $25 or more and they do a trade.

Psalm 18:1-2New International Version

¹I love you, Lord, my strength.

²The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer;
my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge,
my shield^[b] and the horn^[c] of my salvation, my stronghold.

One of my favorite Christian songs:

https://youtu.be/-f4MUUMWMV4 – Goodness of God

Goodness of God

Lyrics

I love You, Lord
For Your mercy never fails me
All my days, I’ve been held in Your hands
From the moment that I wake up
Until I lay my head
Oh, I will sing of the goodness of God

And all my life You have been faithful
And all my life You have been so, so good
With every breath that I am able
Oh, I will sing of the goodness of God

I love Your voice
You have led me through the fire
In the darkest night
You are close like no other
I’ve known You as a Father
I’ve known You as a Friend
And I have lived in the goodness of God (yeah)

And all my life You have been faithful (oh)
And all my life You have been so, so good
With every breath that I am able
Oh, I will sing of the goodness of God (yeah)

‘Cause Your goodness is running after
It’s running after me
Your goodness is running after
It’s running after me
With my life laid down
I’m surrendered now
I give You everything
‘Cause Your goodness is running after
It’s running after me (oh-oh)

And all my life You have been faithful
And all my life You have been so, so good
With every breath that I am able
Oh, I’m gonna sing of the goodness of God
(I’m gonna sing, I’m gonna sing)

‘Cause all my life You have been faithful
And all my life You have been so, so good
With every breath that I am able
Oh, I’m gonna sing of the goodness of God
Oh, I’m gonna sing of the goodness of God

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Jason Ingram / Brian Johnson / Ed Cash / Ben Fielding / Jenn Johnson

Goodness of God lyrics © So Essential Tunes, Capitol Cmg Paragon, Bethel Music Publishing, Shout! Music Publishing Australia

31 August 2023 Description of Self

July 31, 2023 by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Health, history, Home, human rights, In the News, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Movies, Music, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

How would you describe yourself to someone?

So how to answer todays prompt?! I would describe myself as a deep thinking, spiritual, funny and very sensitive person. I like to think I am basically a good person. I am a survivor. I have been through a lot of difficult things in my life – some of my own making and some not. I have been through and continue to go through the earth school of hard knocks! I am currently trying to get my medications right and find balance in my life. I get excited about things like the latest news about extraterrestrials! I could be considered gullible about some things but I am learning to keep myself in check though – keep a healthy perspective on things. It’s so easy to get lost in the hype of things in the news! To be a sheep!

Hello to you. How are you? I hope your doing well. We are living in weird and trying times – testing times and sometimes it’s hard to get through each day without reaching out for help. I am reaching out more and more to Jesus and I find comfort there. When everything in the world seems unsteady I find hope and steadiness in him and ambassadors of his words – way of life. Yesterday I was seeing more positive reviews of the movie The Sound of Freedom – another hit from Angel Studios. I haven’t seen it yet – I haven’t had the courage. It’s not a subject for the faint of heart! People are seeking new hero’s – real ones and actors like Jim Caviezel and Jonathan Roumie are coming forward. Both have portrayed Jesus – they answered the call and continue to do so in both their personal and professional lives.

Hebrews 12:1-3New International Version

12 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, ²fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross,scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. ³Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

I was looking for scripture about turning to Jesus and found this song:

https://youtu.be/CtSpOIpD_A8 – Katy Nichole Turn to Jesus

Turn To Jesus

Lyrics

In the morning when I rise
I lift my head and turn my eyes
To the window where the light is shining through
When my feet hit the ground
I know a place where love is found
So I go where I know I’ll find the truth

I turn to Jesus
I turn to the One who knows my name
I know He walks with me and He talks with me
And He tells me I am safe
And honestly, I could give a million different reasons
For why
I turn
I turn to Jesus

When the night starts to fall
And I’m worried I won’t see the dawn
And my heart is afraid of what’s ahead
There’s a voice through the chaos
That comforts me and gives me rest
When I’m weary and I’m longing for a friend

Turn your eyes upon Jesus
Look full in His wonderful face
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim
In the light of His glory and grace
Ooo oh oh

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Jonathan Smith / Brandon Heath / Katy Nichole

Turn To Jesus lyrics © Centricity Songs, Be Essential Songs, Forbidden Island Music

29 July 2023 Now What?

July 29, 2023 by saymber, posted in animals, Bipolar life, Health, history, Home, human rights, In the News, Mental Health, Movies, Politics and Government, Science (Keshe Foundation and other innovations), Social media, Spirituality and Religion, technology, Television, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you – how are you? I’m sitting out on my porch with Link right now. It’s nice and cool out. I’ve been waking up earlier the past couple mornings. I am no longer taking the olanzapine (zyprexa) and taking abilify instead. I am paying close attention to how I feel – being vigilant about mania. I have been sleeping so that’s good. When I have had mania in the past sleep was an issue.

Good morning! It’s another day! Now What?

So yesterday I wrote a lot about what we found out about aliens and through the day I watched several posts on Tik Tok to see what other peoples reactions were. A lot of them were the same. Clips of the highlights and this common thread – now what?! I still have to go to work, pay off student loans, inflation is through the roof for everything we need to live and our government wants us to think about aliens! How does this news change anything for the average American? Other posters brought up that our finding this out probably means there is bad news coming. For Christians we are seeing the end times playing out. The shit is hitting the fan all over the world environmentally – the oceans are hotter than ever before. What I saw in the responses yesterday is if it doesn’t affect their immediate life they don’t really care. Ironically all this IS affecting their immediate life. What isn’t being acknowledged is perhaps having help from extraterrestrials would affect their immediate life if we really reached out and were open minded. I believe they might have answers to help solve our day to day lives – especially the environment. It can’t be just about the military and national security that they are making themselves more and more visible.

I can remember watching movies like Close Encounters and the wonder I felt if meeting them would go that way – seeking to communicate peacefully. Then there are movies in recent times about scary alien encounters like Aliens, Thing, Predator movies and Prometheus where the first encounters are terrifying. Remember the television series V where the aliens wanted to eat us?! War of the Worlds where aliens wanted to take over the planet?! I personally want to see Gene Roddenberry Star Trek kind of world – a world where we evolve past what struggles we face today and have a world of peace. A world where we have peace treaties with species from other worlds.

Anyhew – it’s baby steps for now. It’s disappointing that the direction being taken is what’s happening is a threat and not an opportunity.

Luke 21:25 NIV

²⁵“There will be signs in the sun, moon and stars. On the earth, nations will be in anguish and perplexity at the roaring and tossing of the sea. ²⁶People will faint from terror, apprehensive of what is coming on the world, for the heavenly bodies will be shaken. ²⁷At that time they will see the Son of Man coming in a cloud with power and great glory. ²⁸When these things begin to take place, stand up and lift up your heads, because your redemption is drawing near.”

27 July 2023 Someone Cares

July 27, 2023 by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Health, Mental Health, Nature, photography, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hi there! How is your week going this far? I’m just back from the Thursday prayer meeting – so glad I went. I got to meet a new person and as a group we talked about something we all had in common – a family member committing suicide and mental health. The pain of the loss be it fresh or a few years down the road never really goes away. Time numbs the wounds, faith restores hope. Some day we will see each other again! Mental Health is so hard to understand. It’s not like a broken bone or a one time problem you can just snap your fingers and fix. Suicide attempts are not just attention seeking but a legitimate cry for help.

Along these lines it comes to me to put it out in the cosmos that no matter what life may seem to be someone cares. For example, in a little gathering of four people just today, strangers to you, lifted you up in prayer. Someone cares about you no matter how it may seem. You are not alone! God has shown me this through my family both blood and not.

Exodus 33:14

¹⁴ The LORD replied, “My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.”

Psalm 139:7

⁷ Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence?

I was happy to see the return of these purple flowers

Matthew 26:41New International Version

⁴¹“Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.”

*RIP Sinead O’Connor – they haven’t said how she died but I have my suspicions from her history. I hope she has found peace.

18 July 2023 Bothered

July 18, 2023 by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Health, Home, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

What bothers you and why?

Hello to you. How are you doing today? I got a call yesterday from the VA about getting a consult to learn more about what recreational programs they have. So Wednesday I will be doing a telephone/video call to see what they have to offer. We are trying to find things for me to do that either get me out of the house or give me something to do. My vertigo is still going on and is an obstacle so we shall see what they have to offer.

Todays prompt isn’t easily answered. Depending on what’s going on determines what’s bothering me – what I’m allowing to take my personal power. Sometimes it’s Big Pharma, politics, religion, Big Agriculture, Oil and Gas – whatever is on my radar at the time that I perceive to be corrupt.

When I perceive corruption in the world it naturally bothers me but I’ve learned the longer I focus on it, or hold on to it, the worse it becomes. I have learned what you focus on gains power and so if I’m focused on negative things, the more power I’m giving to it to exist! When I let go of whatever it is that has me bothered, it’s like a path is made for more desirable results to occur. I have to let go and let God. Some things I get bothered about are so much bigger than me! I can remember when I was really bothered by Oil and Gas. I was giving it so much power but as soon as I let go the issues that were bothering me about it started getting more attention from outside sources. It’s better to focus on what is good and positive – to give my personal power to it. It’s a practice along the lines of mindfulness.

Luke 10:38-42New International Version

At the Home of Martha and Mary

³⁸As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. ³⁹She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feetlistening to what he said. ⁴⁰But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”

⁴¹“Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, ⁴²but few things are needed—or indeed only one.^[a] Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”

16 July 2023 Security or Adventure

July 16, 2023 by saymber, posted in animals, Health, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, trust, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Are you seeking security or adventure?

Hello to you. Just back from church – it was good as always. Got to see and talk to the sweet people there. We discussed psalm 34 and “Mr E.” gave a great testimony about his path to following Jesus. He had his Bible with him when he first got saved – inside he wrote the name and date and signed his name and this was back when he was six years old! It’s really neat to hear what happens to people when they make a path within themselves for God to use them. I have had fleeting glimpses of this in my own life. Those experiences of being in the right place at the right time like a mission from God. I am currently hoping for an opportunity for God to use me- just need to get the physical stuff that limits me out of my way! May be having physical limitations is a way for there to be balance and not overwhelming myself. Only God knows! My many thanks for your continued prayers and support!

Something nice happened too after service my friend Mark gave me a bag of cherries from their tree! They taste really good! He notices when I’m not there and kind of helps me stay accountable.

A thoughtful gift through fellowship and natures bounty – cherries

Todays prompt makes me think of my life this far. I think I have chosen security over adventure as I’ve gotten older. When I was young and had all the world in front of me I think I took more chances – sought out adventure because nothing was really stopping me. I was healthy physically up until when my mental health issues really started mushrooming and that was in my late twenties and early thirties. My forties and up until now have been clouded by the struggle of achieving balance – safety and security versus adventure. There is a part of me that kind of thirsts for adventure but I hold myself back – a lot of times it’s because I don’t want to leave Link. He has become an anchor of what home and security is. When I come home from being gone – seeing him reach up and scratching on the window in excitement makes me feel so loved. Somebody cares that I have returned!

Deuteronomy 4:29New International Version

²⁹But if from there you seek the Lord your God, you will find him if you seek him with all your heart and with all your soul.