2 September 2023 Deliverer

Hello there. How are you? I’m writing late today. I was really tired today. I’m trying my hand at a poem. Thinking of Jesus’s return.

Deliverer

Through the clouds I see his flame

Through the stars I hear his name

Yeshua oh Yeshua the deliverer is coming home

Foot fall on the Mount of Olives he does roam

Dressed in white the groom has come for his bride

All the trials of the world he will push aside

Peace flows amidst the wreckage we have made

Before us all there is coolness in his shade

The end to suffering is all he knows

The burning ceases and life giving water flows

Luke 22:39-44New International Version

Jesus Prays on the Mount of Olives

39 Jesus went out as usual to the Mount of Olives, and his disciples followed him. 40 On reaching the place, he said to them, “Pray that you will not fall into temptation.” 41 He withdrew about a stone’s throw beyond them, knelt downand prayed, 42 “Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done.” 43 An angel from heaven appeared to him and strengthened him. 44 And being in anguish, he prayed more earnestly, and his sweat was like drops of blood falling to the ground.[a]

21 August 2023 Writing

What do you enjoy most about writing?

Hello to you. How are you? I’m doing ok but tired.

What I enjoy most about writing is it’s been with me nearly my whole life. Like an old friend. We’ve gone through poetry and short story phases, traveling phases and just ordinary life phases. I started writing at a very young age. I have a trunk full of my written accounts of my life and those I have shared life with. It’s a time capsule of family history even through two divorces. I kind of stopped keeping written diaries in 2015. My trunk is full and it’s heavy! I have contemplated throwing it out several times but decided against it. May be some day someone will want them.

Psalm 103:1-5New International Version

Psalm 103

Of David.

1 Praise the Lord, my soul;
all my inmost being, praise his holy name.
2 Praise the Lord, my soul,
and forget not all his benefits—
3 who forgives all your sins
and heals all your diseases,
4 who redeems your life from the pit
and crowns you with love and compassion,
5 who satisfies your desires with good things
so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.

15 August 2023 Peace

What brings you peace?

Hello to you. How are you? I’m doing ok. Todays prompt is thought provoking for me as it’s rare that I am at perfect peace – relaxed. It feels like I’m always thinking and worrying about “what’s next.” Sometimes food gives me peace, sometimes it’s the company of someone, sometimes my spirituality gives me peace. It’s not a consistent thing. Last year, before the episode that landed me in the the hospital, what gave me peace was long walks in nature and praying for everybody next to the water canals down the street before they tore everything up.

Some of the beauty that existed next to the water canals.
A drawing I did in honor of Sam our cocker spaniel – how I imagined he looked as a human in heaven. I’m sure he will be one of the first angels I see when it’s my time and he’ll be a dog. I have had several dreams about him since he passed and he always looks so healthy as a dog. I was at peace when he was here with us.

What used to give me peace was creativity – drawing, singing, painting both on canvas and on t- shirts and making jewelry. What happened is I became self conscious. I realized everything I was doing had an environmental impact – especially our water. It takes water to make the paints and water to use the paints. I started paying attention to where my supplies were coming from like metals I was using for my wire jewelry – Pakistan! Hardly anything from the USA. There was a hefty price for my fleeting peace. I haven’t been doing any of it.

I tried to draw in chalk here but it just wasn’t the same as having the privacy of my backyard.

John 14:27New International Version

27 Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

28 July 2023 “We are here to help”

Hello to you. Hope you are doing well. Yesterday was a busy and good day for me. As I mentioned in my blog yesterday I had the prayer group and then later I participated in an online craft class through the VA which was fun and good for me. We wove a basket. In the later part of the day I found out they are finally letting the American people and the world know that extraterrestrials are real and not just the stuff of conspiracy theorists and tinfoil hat wearing people. FINALLY! I think it’s interesting this is happening during the hottest Julys in world history. It’s going to take technology, much more advanced than what we currently have, to reverse this trend. We need it fast and we need it now and I think it’s going to take a collaboration with these beings milling about observing and interacting with us to get it done. My hat is off to the whistle blowers that have the courage to come forward and give us the truth – to give the people in Congress the harsh truth. I told my Aunt that during my last episode there was a night I stood looking out my window into the night sky crying. I was praying and begging for Jesus to return. I visualized the entire sky filled with ships and he was in one of them. I know that sounds nuts but my logic behind it was that if Jesus would come back he would come back with reinforcements! Go big to come home! It’s interesting how Jesus is taking over Hollywood right now through Angel Studios! There are things in the Bible that seem like encounters with aliens – they described them in the terms they had for their times. Things are doing things! Usually anyone proclaiming to be Jesus gets locked up and drugged in a mental ward!

https://www.foxnews.com/media/ufo-whistleblower-praises-historic-congressional-hearing-non-human-craft-inflection-point

Anyhew, I have been interested in aliens most of my life. I had an experience during one of my hospital stays in Texas that involved two gray aliens. In the span of a short dream-like state I was with two grays and I asked them what they were doing to my face and then I saw an image of my face being half gray and half human. Then I was shown a picture of my dog Spot barking at things I couldn’t see. It was so real! I woke up and felt a bump on my nose. I told the staff about it as I was concerned about the bump and they said something cryptic like “let’s just leave it there.” The bump eventually went away. This was all in the span of a short nap that this happened – it was like a real encounter not a dream! Was it medication or something else going on? When I got home Spot and Link both were barking at stuff Kyle and I couldn’t see and more than normal – like something was at the windows they could see but we couldn’t. In the stuff I have heard and read, there are many ways these beings can communicate with us. A lot of strange things happened to me living in Texas and that was by far the strangest.

I am interested to see what comes of these hearings – especially that they have recovered actual bodies. Have they got any still alive? Has there been contact? Are they already helping? There isn’t a moment to lose! I am wondering if they have aliens currently in captivity. How long can aliens live in our atmosphere? I think one of two things is going on either they want to help or they want to take over. I want to believe the best case scenario – they want to help but have to overcome our superstitions and fears. They don’t look cute and cuddly and communicate differently which can be scary. We have a lot of people in our country like “preppers” that might take news like this as what they have been waiting for. A lot of fear – shoot first and ask questions later. I think, as do many, that it’s arrogant to think God only made us. There are so many life sustaining galaxies and planets! They have been saying for most of my life that there is no way other beings could get here – it would take too long. I think with the things we are finally being allowed to see, there are ways to travel that don’t take so long – we just haven’t got the technology or know how to figure it out. Some of the travel being discussed is inter-dimensional.

So anyways – I’m excited as are many people like me, to see and know more. I was happy to share this news with my Aunt and she actually looked into it herself! I really feel with what we are seeing happen around the earth it’s time to acknowledge we need help. What’s happening is happening in faster and faster cycles. We as a species have disrupted the entire cycles of our planet in just a short time!

Matthew 24:30 NIV

30 “Then will appear the sign of the Son of Man in heaven. And then all the peoples of the earth[c] will mourn when they see the Son of Man coming on the clouds of heaven, with power and great glory.[d] 31 And he will send his angels with a loud trumpet call, and they will gather his elect from the four winds, from one end of the heavens to the other.

19 July 2023 Time

Which activities make you lose track of time?

Hello to you. How is your week thus far! My week is going ok. I’m sitting on the front porch with Link as I write to you. Its still pretty nice out. I wish it would rain so my car would get rinsed off! Its pretty dirty! I know as soon as I wash it pollen and dust will cover it again.

Todays prompt makes me think of when I was being creative and crafting. When I made jewelry, did drawing in chalks on the back porch and also when I used to be play video games. When I get in the flow, the zone where I’m focused on something so completely I am not operating in time and a place. When I’m doing something I love to do it’s such a good feeling. It’s been a couple years since I had this feeling. I can remember when I used to draw portraits of people I would sit for hours and be totally focused but that was mainly when I was younger.

Psalm 145:9New International Version

9 The Lord is good to all;
he has compassion on all he has made.

19 May 2023 Choosing Joy

This was a birthday gift from my Auntie. She likes to find things with my middle name!

Hello to you. How are you? Today my thoughts turn to Joy. Not only because it’s my middle name but because it is indeed a choice we can make in this life. I have to remind myself! I get so set in my ways – grumpy even. I feel like as I get older I have developed an armor to try and shield myself from getting hurt. Dr. Wilhelm Reich talked about such an armor in his work. Our bodies get rigid and we get almost frozen. When I was in love I was my least rigid. When I chose to approach life with joy my body was fluid and free.

https://orgonomictherapy.com/2013/07/29/concept-of-armoring/ – if your interested to read more about Dr Reich’s theory

Galatians 5:22-23

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.

11 May 2023 Purples

On the walk home from Grace House there was this vision in purple

Warning a poem by Jenny Joseph

When I am an old woman I shall wear purple 
With a red hat which doesn’t go, and doesn’t suit me. 
And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves 
And satin sandals, and say we’ve no money for butter. 
I shall sit down on the pavement when I’m tired 
And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells 
And run my stick along the public railings 
And make up for the sobriety of my youth. 
I shall go out in my slippers in the rain 
And pick flowers in other people’s gardens 
And learn to spit. 

You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat
And eat three pounds of sausages at a go 
Or only bread and pickle for a week 
And hoard pens and pencils and beermats and things in boxes. 

But now we must have clothes that keep us dry 
And pay our rent and not swear in the street 
And set a good example for the children. 
We must have friends to dinner and read the papers. 

But maybe I ought to practice a little now?
So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised
When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple.

I like this drawing I did – we are all star stuff

9 May 2023 Job For A Day

What’s a job you would like to do for just one day?

Hello there! How are you? Hopefully we’ll. Todays prompt is a thought provoking one – there are so many jobs I’m interested in that I would just want to try out for a day if I had more energy. In the course of my life I’ve done the military personnel thing (basically a secretary) and a lot of creative things like painting and drawing- photography, tried energy healing, tried local politics, so something else would be trying out being a spiritual leader for a day – like a pastor or something. It would have to be for just one day as I look at our church and how much our Pastor and his family have to be involved with and it’s exhausting to even contemplate! There is so much involved with being a spiritual leader I think. You are always in the lime light and expected to be a certain way which might be hard to live up to. You are like a doctor I imagine – never off duty. Always on call. I would probably only last a day but better a minister than a politician! I tried politics and didn’t like it.

Colossians 3:12-17New International Version

12 Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. 13 Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. 14 And over all these virtues put on love,which binds them all together in perfect unity.

15 Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. 16 Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts.17 And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

Drawing I did about what it must be like to be God or a Guardian Angel – so many doors open with people crying out for help. This drawing could apply to being a man or woman of the cloth too – always being called on by so many. Who to answer first?!! How to prioritize?!

7 May 2023 Heart

Hello to you. How are you today? I’m just back from church – wasn’t sure if I was going but I did go. There are so many nice people that go and as I get regular with my attendance, the more people I get to know. The next event the ladies are having is a Ladies Tea on the 20th. My Aunt and I are planning on attending.

Todays message was more about the life of Abraham. The part we went over was when Abraham’s wife didn’t want to wait any longer for the God promised baby and she suggested Abraham conceive with Hagar the slave. The message about that was when we push our will instead of waiting can cause heart ache. The other message, and this has come up before, is how our hearts can’t be trusted. I wanted to put up my hand and disagree! One of my favorite sayings is from a 1920’s movie called Metropolis “the mediator between the head and hands must be the heart.” That silent movie was about how ruthless a business person can be without using their heart. As a woman and an empath I use my heart a lot! Sadly that’s probably why I have so many labels and mental health issues.! So much inner conflict between my brain and my heart.

I understand the intent of the message is to encourage us to get closer to God and not lean completely on our understanding but as I’m experiencing lately – God has been really quiet and without using my heart, I wouldn’t keep going to church and try to find a way to serve God and the community.

The world can be a heartless place – all you have to do is look at a news feed or talk to someone. It’s hard to find and achieve balance between using my heart and leaning on God. How can you love others as you should love God and yourself without using and trusting your heart?!

There is so much conflict for me with how we are taught to operate in this world. On the one hand we are taught to turn inward and find God and wisdom. There is emphasis on prayer and meditation which comes from within and then flows out. On the other hand we are taught that our inner selves are unreliable and inherently bad . We are taught to look outside ourselves for guidance and wisdom. This was what I learned in AA and all the church’s I’ve been to. I was taught I’m not trustworthy on my own. How can be turning inward to where the Holy Spirit is supposed to be bad? Where does the Holy Spirit within us reside? Where does our souls energy reside?

I am still learning and have to trust God will show me his truth.

I guess I don’t like to hear that on my own I’m not a good person. I have spent a lot of my life in therapy to deal with low self esteem issues! That’s probably not what is intentioned in todays message but that’s what I heard and keep hearing. That’s the tough job of a Pastor I guess – sometimes to tell us not what we want to hear but need to hear? Pastor Jason said it was a hard sermon for him to write and I can see why!

One of my drawings – this was during one of my more creative phases

Acts 2 : 2-4

The Holy Spirit Comes at Pentecost

2 When the day of Pentecost came, they were all together in one place. 2 Suddenly a sound like the blowing of a violent wind came from heaven and filled the whole house where they were sitting. 3 They saw what seemed to be tongues of fire that separated and came to rest on each of them. 4 All of them were filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak in other tongues[a] as the Spirit enabled them.

5 May 2023 Direction

What gives you direction in life?

Hello to you. Hard to believe it’s Friday again. Today is the celebration of Cinco Demayo and my exe in-laws 44th wedding anniversary. It’s so rare that people stay together that long. Even though I’m no longer married to their son I still consider them to be family. Once I love you it takes a lot for me to stop loving you. They are good people!

Todays prompt makes me think. I have never really had a direction in my life other than wanting to be a good person but it’s not been easy. Wanting to please God has flitted through my life, not to displease my family and friends has also been a reason for a direction. As I’ve mentioned before, as a young child and teenager I wanted to be famous but let go of that when I saw what fame does to peoples lives. Another primary direction has been not wanting to be forgotten. Since I never had children I have no one to pass my legacy on to.

A primary director, the Holy Spirit, seems quiet if not silent in my life. For so many years I felt I had a close connection. I could write, sing, draw, paint and make jewelry and other things. It’s probably just my being in an in between place right now. I think it’s also the medication I’m on that prevents mania from happening. Taking Lithium is different than taking Depakote and Zyprexa. I kind of miss the creativity and spirituality that comes with being manic. I think another reason for the lack of direction is the fact I’m still healing from my wounds these past couple of years. I am trying to stay open to God – to the Holy Spirit. I don’t think God is done with me yet!

A drawing I did back in 2015. I named it 7712 but I remember thinking of the title “Waiting” for it. I miss drawing like this – it’s like my creativity spigot is completely closed.

Proverbs 3:5-6New International Version

5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
6 in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight.