Hello to you. How are you? I’m dealing with a cold and cough I picked up somewhere. Probably from stress from stuff I’ve been dealing with lately. No changes on the Dad front – appreciate your prayers and positive messages.
I don’t think I would pay to go to the moon. I have not been in a plane for several years much less contemplating going in a spaceship leaving the planet! I don’t think I could do it. There are so many places on the earth I haven’t been much less paying to go to the moon!
Genesis 1:16New International Version
16 God made two great lights—the greater light to govern the day and the lesser light to govern the night. He also made the stars.
What daily habit do you do that improves your quality of life?
The daily habit that improves my quality of life is walking. Each day I try to walk around the block even if I don’t want to. Taking a walk each each day is the one thing I have tried to consistently do. It’s not easy for me to do with the swaying issues I have going on in my head. Sometimes I feel like a shambling zombie I’m so stiff but I’m not giving up!
1 John 2:3-6
3 We know that we have come to know him if we obey his commands. 4 The man who says, “I know him,” but does not do what he commands is a liar, and the truth is not in him. 5 But if anyone obeys his word, God’s love is truly made complete in him. This is how we know we are in him: 6 Whoever claims to live in him must walk as Jesus did.
Hello to you. Just back from church – it was good as always. Got to see and talk to the sweet people there. We discussed psalm 34 and “Mr E.” gave a great testimony about his path to following Jesus. He had his Bible with him when he first got saved – inside he wrote the name and date and signed his name and this was back when he was six years old! It’s really neat to hear what happens to people when they make a path within themselves for God to use them. I have had fleeting glimpses of this in my own life. Those experiences of being in the right place at the right time like a mission from God. I am currently hoping for an opportunity for God to use me- just need to get the physical stuff that limits me out of my way! May be having physical limitations is a way for there to be balance and not overwhelming myself. Only God knows! My many thanks for your continued prayers and support!
Something nice happened too after service my friend Mark gave me a bag of cherries from their tree! They taste really good! He notices when I’m not there and kind of helps me stay accountable.
A thoughtful gift through fellowship and natures bounty – cherries
Todays prompt makes me think of my life this far. I think I have chosen security over adventure as I’ve gotten older. When I was young and had all the world in front of me I think I took more chances – sought out adventure because nothing was really stopping me. I was healthy physically up until when my mental health issues really started mushrooming and that was in my late twenties and early thirties. My forties and up until now have been clouded by the struggle of achieving balance – safety and security versus adventure. There is a part of me that kind of thirsts for adventure but I hold myself back – a lot of times it’s because I don’t want to leave Link. He has become an anchor of what home and security is. When I come home from being gone – seeing him reach up and scratching on the window in excitement makes me feel so loved. Somebody cares that I have returned!
Deuteronomy 4:29New International Version
29 But if from there you seek the Lord your God, you will find him if you seek him with all your heart and with all your soul.
Hello there! How are you today? It’s a bright and sunny day here. I haven’t been taking pictures lately as I haven’t been on my usual walks in the afternoon. My back is feeling better so I need to get back to it! There is beauty happening!
Todays prompt is a great one. Just last night before trying to fall asleep I talked out loud to Jesus. I haven’t done that in a very long time. Spirituality, relationship with God is very important to me and is a favorite subject to discuss. Ever since what happened last August, I have felt kind of distant from God. I felt like God had abandoned me but that’s probably to the contrary of reality. If I had kept going on the path I was on I probably would have ended up in jail! God intervened in the most extreme way. I was convinced, once again, the world was ending and Jesus was coming back. I felt like he was taking too long so I was going to initiate things on my own! Not a good idea! I never want to be in the situation to be tased again! It was very traumatic. I just wasn’t in control of myself anymore.
When I get overcome by the spirit world, which is what has happened prior to me being hospitalized every time, I become very reckless and sometimes even angry and violent – not entirely in charge of “driving my car.” The car being my body. It’s like being possessed by forces beyond my control. This last time I took a meat cleaver to the inside of my house and broke a bunch of momentos and other things that were glass. I got rid of all my identification. I was convinced that my Link had been left to die in the house. There are a lot of things I don’t remember happening – they are blacked out. Thank God for my family! They came and restored order to my little house and they all are the extensions of the living God in my life.
When I have talked to most Christians, especially women, they have said loving Jesus is about relationship not religion. From my own experience, I agree! I have to be careful to not get too religious. I have been neglecting and struggling with my relationship because of my health lately. This swaying motion in my head , fullness in my ears and playing with the cocktail to get my mental health right has affected my relationship with Jesus AND myself. Everything is such an effort and I get so tired so easily so I want to sleep a lot. My patterns for sleep and being awake are all wonky. My doctors think it’s the medication and we will be trying something new, Abilify, to see if things get better.
I just want my spiritual/creative juices back! The kicker is with the medication to control mania, whatever it ends up being, I will probably never be as creative as I once was. With Bipolar 1, which is my primary diagnosis, mania is to be avoided and is the primary target of the medication I take. It’s either risk being overcome by mania and be creative or not be manic and have little to no creativity. I want peace of mind for myself and those who love and care about me. So who I once was is forever on the chopping block! I used to feel so close to God as I understood him. The ways of that connection, my creativity, spirituality, have been stifled ever since I started taking heavier medications. I haven’t drawn a picture or written a poem, crocheted, made jewelry or done something that I used to do in almost a year! Anything I have done has felt forced – not just flowing with usual ease it used to. It’s like writers block. I try to just take a pen to paper and nothing comes.
I have to remind myself that I need to focus on what I can do – not on what I can’t! Taking pictures on walks has become one of the new ways to share my eyes for Gods beautiful creation but even that is limited by my physical health!
One of the last drawings I’ve done. This was about going to Grace House, a home Grace Bible Church has leased within walking distance for me.
Matthew 8:28-34New American Standard Bible
Jesus Sends Demons into Pigs
28 And when He came to the other side into the country of the Gadarenes, two demon-possessed men confronted Him as they were coming out of the tombs. They were so extremely violent that no one could pass by that way. 29 And they cried out, saying, “[a]What business do You have with us, Son of God? Have You come here to torment us before [b]the time?” 30 Now there was a herd of many pigs feeding at a distance from them. 31 And the demons begged Him, saying, “If You are going to cast us out, send us into the herd of pigs.”32 And He said to them, “Go!” And they came out and went into the pigs; and behold, the whole herd rushed down the steep bank into the sea and [c]drowned in the waters. 33 And the herdsmen ran away, and went to the city and reported everything, [d]including what had happened to the demon-possessed men. 34 And behold, the whole city came out to meet Jesus; and when they saw Him, they pleaded with Him to leave their region.
Hello to you. How are you? I’m doing alright. Just home from a prayer meeting. I was going to stop and get a breakfast burrito but changed my mind. I am glad as I ran into three dogs on the way back. Their owner lets them out unattended.
My neighbor has his flowers out – so cheerful to seeI was surprised to see this rose already in bloom! Like I said yesterday- it’s like everything in nature is in fast forward mode
Jeremiah 17:14New International Version
14 Heal me, Lord, and I will be healed; save me and I will be saved, for you are the one I praise.
A lot of people around me are struggling with health issues to include myself. I think part of it is age related but I am starting to wonder if some of it is from so many having Covid. We don’t really know to what extent our health and immune systems have been compromised by having it and also side effects from the vaccines. We did become sort of Guinea pigs for the pharmaceutical industry with everything that happened!
Hello to you. Hard to believe it’s Friday again. Today is the celebration of Cinco Demayo and my exe in-laws 44th wedding anniversary. It’s so rare that people stay together that long. Even though I’m no longer married to their son I still consider them to be family. Once I love you it takes a lot for me to stop loving you. They are good people!
Todays prompt makes me think. I have never really had a direction in my life other than wanting to be a good person but it’s not been easy. Wanting to please God has flitted through my life, not to displease my family and friends has also been a reason for a direction. As I’ve mentioned before, as a young child and teenager I wanted to be famous but let go of that when I saw what fame does to peoples lives. Another primary direction has been not wanting to be forgotten. Since I never had children I have no one to pass my legacy on to.
A primary director, the Holy Spirit, seems quiet if not silent in my life. For so many years I felt I had a close connection. I could write, sing, draw, paint and make jewelry and other things. It’s probably just my being in an in between place right now. I think it’s also the medication I’m on that prevents mania from happening. Taking Lithium is different than taking Depakote and Zyprexa. I kind of miss the creativity and spirituality that comes with being manic. I think another reason for the lack of direction is the fact I’m still healing from my wounds these past couple of years. I am trying to stay open to God – to the Holy Spirit. I don’t think God is done with me yet!
A drawing I did back in 2015. I named it 7712 but I remember thinking of the title “Waiting” for it. I miss drawing like this – it’s like my creativity spigot is completely closed.
Proverbs 3:5-6New International Version
5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; 6 in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.
Hello to you. How are you doing? I’m feeling a bit frustrated with myself. The reason is I’ve noticed I huff and puff on walks. Link is a dawlder and makes frequent stops so I shouldn’t be out of breath. I’m just really out of shape I guess! Last night I tried to dance and barely made it through one song. I have struggled with my weight much of my life.
Something nice about having s dog that likes to take his time is there is time for pictures. The sun is so bright that the pictures I took are a bit overexposed but give you an idea of how beautiful my neighborhood is:
My neighbors yard is so beautiful. She works so hard to keep it nice. Yellow dandelions and little purple flowers are everywhere now My little dawdles Link These look like blue bonnets from Texas growing in another neighbors yard
I was looking for a Bible verse about spring and this one came up. I like it!
Isaiah 44:1-4
3 For I will pour water on the thirsty land, and streams on the dry ground; I will pour out my Spirit on your offspring, and my blessing on your descendants. 4 They will spring up like grass in a meadow, like poplar trees by flowing streams.
How have you adapted to the changes brought on by the Covid-19 pandemic?
Hello to you how are you doing? This day finds me well. It’s a beautiful sunny day. The trees have started budding and flowers are beginning to push up. Definitely feeling like spring!
The prompt today is kind of interesting. I went to the grocery store today and it felt normal. No one wearing masks like before. I think, speaking for myself, unless I’m going to a medical appt, I have adapted back to nearly pre-pandemic behavior. I don’t even really think about Covid or catching it. To me it’s become like the flu – another variation of the flu.
I feel like I have adapted to the changes easily because, like I said, the only place I have to go that reminds me of the pandemic is hospitals. When I go to the VA, for example, they require you to wear a mask. Which makes sense because you can get exposed to people with Covid or other stuff like the flu. When I’ve been to the VA there have been some really sick people there.
Hello to you. How are you doing in your day? My thoughts turn to one word today – energy. As I get older and am much more sedentary than I used to be energy seems to be in short supply. I look back at my life and wonder if I just burned my candle on both ends. I was an athlete for much of my early years and now it’s a trial to get around the block! Welcome to middle age!
The Steve Harvey L’Evate you stuff didn’t do much for me and neither has taking extra vitamins. My ex use to talk about something regarding energy that I wonder if it’s true – that each of us has s certain amount of energy allotted to us. Drinking energy drinks etc. doesn’t give us extra energy but makes us use up our allotment faster.
Hopefully we can figure out what’s going on in my head with the dizziness and swaying. Then I will know if this is something I’ll just have to live with. If it ends up being Mal de barque syndrome I will have to.
Hello to you how are you today? I hope we’ll. It’s starting to look and feel like spring already here in Idaho. My neighbors flowers are starting to push up through the winter soil. Every time I walk past her yard and see them I feel like smiling. Mother Nature, this earth is so amazing isn’t she? I’m always amazed at how quickly, with just a few elements life is able to happen. Like a construction site where a mound of dirt is pushed off to the side and within a short time it being covered with life. Last year I was awed by a beautiful purple flower growing in a crack in my Aunt and Uncles driveway. God is good! So much evidence of the master of creation.
On a slightly different note, we are trying to break a cycle of going to bed late and getting up late. I try to go to start winding down at 9 pm but often don’t fall asleep right away. I wake up around 8 am automatically no matter what I do. My Aunt, Uncle and therapist have been encouraging me to just get up. I need to practice this – May be make an appt with myself. Make a coffee date or exercise appt- something. Link and I walk in the morning but he likes to dawdle and I wonder if he’s starting to feel his age (like I am!) Anyhew I have been having spinning spells when I move a certain way the past couple of days.
To be 