Tag: friendship

30 November 2021 Evening

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Health, Home, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging
Evening here in Middleton ID

Hi there! How are you? It’s 6:23 pm here as I write to you. It’s dark and Link and I are cuddling on the couch. I’m watching streams on Twitch – Infoxczar is a magic channel pretty cool. I don’t do magic on my channel May be I should learn lol! It’s fun to see live entertainment….Jack is fun.

Today my Aunt talked to me about her friends daughter who is bipolar. She apparently is refusing medication and is paranoid as hell. Her parents are living in a 55 plus community and they have been letting her live with them . Neither she or them have anyplace to go if the property owner decided to evict them. Apparently the girl keeps calling the cops. Speaking as a bipolar, what this family is going through is so tough! One of the hardest aspects of loving someone with this condition is keeping them on their medications.

Just found out my cousins daughter is going in for an emergency hysterectomy tomorrow ! I can remember getting mine and it took some time to heal. I was stupid. Your not supposed to do any heavy lifting and my ex and I tried carrying a small couch home from a furniture store up the street from where we were living. I pray everything goes well for her. She has diabetes so there is that to consider with the surgery.

The friend I just reconnected with recently lost her mom to Alzheimer’s and dementia in October. She’s really struggling with it while being a wonderful mom, wife and student. The holidays will be rough for her. She is strong in her faith in God and that is helping her walk through her grief.

People have stuff going on!! It seems like as soon as one hurdle is put in front of us another equal or more challenging hurdle is put in its place! I’m kind of in the in between place right now. I had a lot of “stuff” happen all within a short period of time. Love conquers the deepest darkness. I am so grateful to love and be loved. The fall I took could have been so much harder.

If you pray could you pray for the people I have mentioned here? For privacy reasons I don’t want to put their names here. I hope everything goes ok for all of them !

Thank you for spending some time with me here.

29 November 2021 Evening

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you. It’s 5:21 pm and the shadows are falling. It’s hard to believe it’s getting dark already! I’m feeling cozy and just want to write a bit.

I’m still feeling the warm and fuzzies from visiting with my friend Lin today. It was such a wonderful surprise that she popped on Twitch this morning. She made an account just for that! What a blessing she is- soul sister! I thought I had lost her too!

I ordered a rake today. I could have stopped at Lowe’s but I’m still pissed at them for how they used to treat Kyle and I. We would go into the store and no one would speak to us….so rude. Anyhew my neighbors tree dumped all of its leaves on my gravel. I’ll just get up as many as I can. Since I don’t have a shed the porch gets yet another thing to be stored on it!

My therapist appt was good but I was running a little high. When I’m like that it feels like I’m going to vibrate right out of my skin! I could feel it in my 3rd eye especially. I wonder if the Pranic healing had something to do with it? We talked about my being present in the moment. Since I’ve started driving more now I find that I’ll just arrive and already be thinking about leaving. My therapist said that isn’t an uncommon thing with Americans. It’s the mindset of “I’ll be happy when _______” and before even spending time in the present moment the mind is already off to the next thing. I want to get better at being in the present moment and not racing off in my car to go home!

Thank you visitors for stopping by and reading my blog and if you have time viewing my Twitch videos. I really appreciate you! When I see you have visited it makes me smile.

29 November 2021 Good Morning

by saymber, posted in animals, Health, Home, Leading Life by Example, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Check out this video Morning coffee with Jackie 29 November 2021 https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1219285881

Hi there. This morning I had the privilege of chatting with an old friend and it just made my whole day! She is the only friend I still have from my military days. I’m so blessed to have her!

I was chatting to myself and she popped up. I have a follower!! It was so exciting to see that this morning! I was starting to question myself!

In awhile I have my therapist appointment and I’m looking forward to that. Lots to talk about! I AM HOME…..yes! My friend reiterated that message too. Be at home in your own skin before you bring somebody else into your life. I’m sure God has a plan in all the little pieces that are floating about me right now….fragments of time.

I hope this finds you well today. What are you grateful for? I’m grateful to have been able to reconnect with my friend. I’m grateful for my new friend and my family…my sweet Link. I’m grateful for me still getting to be on this plane of existence. Even if you are really having trouble I hope you can find something to be grateful for!

Drawing for today:

This is my drawing processing my healing session yesterday .

28 November 2021 Sunday

by saymber, posted in animals, Bipolar life, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Check out this video Morning Coffee With Jackie 28 November 2021 https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1218405193

Good morning from here. How are you? The video today is about 22 minutes if you have the time! Hopefully something will resonate with you. I felt called to read Psalm 27. I feel like no matter what your walk of the spirit that the Psalms are a neutral ground:

Psalm 27

Of David.

1 The Lord is my light and my salvation—
    whom shall I fear?
The Lord is the strongholdof my life—
    of whom shall I be afraid?

——————

I’m getting together with my friend today for some Pranic healing which should be interesting . I’ve never heard of it before!

I decided to close the door on having my own Meetup group. The people I wanted to reach just didn’t express interest. I don’t think a lot of people even know Meetup exists. I checked into Facebook and that was nice – it was good to reconnect with family and friends there.

Anyhew thank you for spending some time with me today!

27 November 2021 Good Morning

by saymber, posted in Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Check out this video Morning Coffee With Jackie 27 November 2021 https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1217476092

Good morning how are you? How’s your day going so far ? I’m getting started with my day. I’m getting in the habit of doing the Twitch recordings first thing. Some people do better with videos than just reading. I’m finding my way and appreciate your patience with this process! One of my friends said she had a fail experience with trying to watch the video because you have to have an account . Please give me feedback if you have trouble watching the videos.

Last night I had a wonderful experience of going to see the lights in Caldwell with my friend Lisa and her Grandson Colin. We liked the dragon that breathed fire! There were a lot of people there which was kind of overwhelming for Colin and I . We played on the instrument station for a little while and that was fun.

Today is laundry day. It’s one of those gray days where you just don’t want to do anything . This evening I have a crystal empowerment group so that’s something to look forward to.

What’s one thing your grateful for? Put it in the comments! Everyday I’m grateful for my furry faced boy Link! Hugs to you!

24 October 2021 Sunday

by saymber, posted in dreams, Home, Leading Life by Example, Money, Nature, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello there! How are you? As I write to you it’s gray and wet. We are getting some much needed rain. I took some extra Vitamin D this morning to help out with SAD (seasonal affective disorder). I just want to hibernate like a big ol grizzly when the seasons change. It’s dark by 7 pm right now and the lights don’t really come back on til around 8 am!

So I’m hoping my drum arrives today. A friend of mine said his Amazon delivery hasn’t showed up . It was supposed to be at his place yesterday. I imagine this is the supply chain problem?!! It would be nice if they let people know there was a delay! A positive side to the delay is it gives me more time to think about things!

I had trouble falling asleep last night. I kept hearing drums in my head! I kept imagining the lawn chairs on my porch being filled with people playing a drum or some other musical instrument . Then my thoughts got bigger. They expanded out to seeing a group of people meeting at one of our local parks. I could see a community of like minded souls praising God together outside or inside if there was a place to do it.

“Start small. If you grow too big too fast you’ll fall.”

Is this a God thing? When your someone like me you have to be careful that passions aren’t just mania manifesting itself. I don’t want to plant this seed, in this case put money down to start a Meetup Group, and then lose interest. Judging by the fact there aren’t any groups for Middleton I’m nervous that I’m not going to reach the people here. I guess this is a time for faith. A belief in what can’t be seen. If this is God at work I have nothing to worry about and just have to practice what I preach! Patience!!

22 October 2021 Drum Circle

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Home, Mental Health, Writing and blogging

Hello from Middleton Idaho! How are you doing today? I’m feeling pretty good. I got the grocery shopping done early and that was interesting. It looks like our Ridleys is doing some changes. All the greetings cards were removed and also the section of the store where you scoop your own stuff was dismantled. I found everything I was looking for minus jugs of drinking water – there was only one left! Today is an overcast day. They say it’s going to rain and I hope it does. My car is filthy!!

Have you ever played a drum?

So I did something special today. I ordered a drum to replace the one I broke. It’s a Djembe drum: https://youtu.be/aLeede5z1vQ – this is a video about how these drums are made. It’s not an expensive drum. I’ll see how it sounds. It should be here Sunday – it was in stock. I have this reoccurring thought of getting people together to play music or even just a drum circle. These thoughts stem from some fond memories I have of a Christmas solstice gathering I had many years ago with my “tribe.” A part of me knows what we had was once in a lifetime but who knows! I took a step today towards trying to manifest a reality I want to live in. You can’t have a drum circle without a drum! I want a circle of friends again and I’m hoping it can happen. I’ll be sure to take a picture of the drum when I get it.

So who were these friends I had that meant so much to me? Who was my “tribe?”They were not the kind of people you would meet here in Idaho. It was a surprise to meet them in Texas which is also a conservative state! One did acupuncture out of her home, another was a hospice nurse, one was a massage therapist, one was a co-founder of a place called The Earth School and one was a teacher of Philosophenoma. There was also a woman who taught the energy modality Quantum Touch . I found this group through the acupuncturist. I’ll never forget the day we met – her smile! She did an acupuncture treatment on both my husband and I. It was the first time either of us had experienced that! From that day a friendship was born but sadly we are no longer in touch . My friendships with these people were a casualty of my being bipolar – the stuff I talked about in my blog yesterday. We lived in Texas for 12 years and for the last 4 or 5 I was in and out of the hospital for mania. It was for this group of friends I had bought my original drum.

As cutting edge as my friends were, they couldn’t handle my manic episodes. During one of my episodes I was convinced Alvarado, where I was living, was going to blow up. I made my husband pack up our animals and go over to the acupuncturists home. She really didn’t know what to do. I think she felt sorry for my husband. Like I said stuff like this kept happening! I lost my husband and most of my friends because of this condition. I can’t blame them for leaving me.

So now I am mostly alone. A dog without a pack. The friends I have now are mostly virtual. Part of me is afraid to reach out again. If I get close to people will I go manic again? One of my triggers is spiritual stuff. I was trying to get certified in the energy healing modality called Quantum Touch. I attended a couple classes and a lot of strange experiences came out of that – strangely wonderful. I actually helped people! But it was fleeting. I needed the second class to get certified and just wasn’t willing to fly to another state to get the class done. The experiences I had kind of went to my head. May be it’s good I didn’t get certified- especially if it was going to trigger me .

God has a place for me. May be this drum will be a fresh start. I know I’ve run a bit long today. Thank you for your time.

23 September 2021 Peaceful

by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, Health, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Writing and blogging

Hello to you! How are you today? I’m doing alright . I had this blog all finished a few minutes ago but I decided to discard it. I don’t know why I guess it just wasn’t what I wanted to post!

Wtf? Why did you delete it ?!

I wanted to talk about a feeling I got last night . For the first time in a long time I felt peace and contentment . I went to sleep and woke up with that feeling and it was so awesome . No emotional or physical pain! True peace . I wonder if it was spending time with my friend yesterday . We went to Red Robin for burgers and had a really nice visit. I got lots of hugs !

Oh to still the churning waters of my soul, to calm the anxiety stained winds that always seem to blow. A simple gesture of the warm embrace, to stop time and put a smile on my face. A remedy as old as can be, someone lovingly holding on to me .

I don’t know if there is a perfect formula for peace. If there was we would have a whole lot fewer doctors and pill bottles . I know part of my peace comes from God through other people . A simple thing like a hug means so much to me . I think there is a lot of power having two hearts close together .

2 September 2021 Appreciation

by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, Writing and blogging

Hello to you ! How are you doing today ? I hope your doing well . It’s another beautiful day here. I wish the skies would clear up but we will take what we can get .

This morning my mind turns towards thinking about appreciation. It’s so easy to take a person, place and or thing for granted. We can live life just expecting they will always be there and we are learning on many levels that is is a mistake. There is one thing that is certain about existence and that is change! Impermanence is the name of the game of life .

It’s important to show appreciation, to express gratitude while there is still yet time to do it . It doesn’t have to be a grand gesture either! Sometimes it’s just saying the words is all someone is waiting to hear .

12 March 2021 Wisdom

by saymber, posted in animals, Exploring numeric value of words in English language, Nature, Spirituality and Religion, trust, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hi there! How are you in your where and when as you visit me here? I hope you are well. I am doing well. Last night my friend came by after work and we were treated to not one but three waves of migrating birds like the ones I had written about seeing in the morning! We think they are snow geese and it was amazing! She hadn’t see anything like that before!

We talked for quite awhile. Part of what we talked about was faith. I have been having a stumbling block about Jesus Christ being my one and only savior. She’s been patient with me and we read some scripture she referred to as the “Roman Road.” I am so grateful to have a dear friend helping me along on this journey I am on. Someone to help me with this seeking I am doing for God’s will in my life.

Well before bed I was praying and God put it on my mind to read Proverbs 2 2-3. I didn’t immediately leap out of bed and read it but remembered this morning to read it. As I read it I found it was perfect:

2 My son, if you accept my words
    and store up my commands within you,
2 turning your ear to wisdom
    and applying your heart to understanding—
3 indeed, if you call out for insight
    and cry aloud for understanding,
4 and if you look for it as for silver
    and search for it as for hidden treasure,
5 then you will understand the fear of the Lord
    and find the knowledge of God.
6 For the Lord gives wisdom;

“balance” in the English Ordinal system equals 38 (yes,no, may be in eternity)

“wisdom” in the English Ordinal system equals 83

“understanding ” in the English Ordinal system equals 150 (one senses unknown person, place or thing)

Yesterday I figured out something I can do while I wait for a specific call from God was pray for other people. My Aunt shared her list with me so I have a good start.