16 November 2021 Sunlight

by saymber, posted in Home, Mental Health, Short stories, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello and good morning from here. How are you? Did you get sleep ? I don’t feel like I got much. After my post last night I tossed and turned til like 1 am or later. I finally got up and took a couple Benadryl and that got me a couple hours. So anyways….got some coffee and beautiful sunshine is streaming in. Laundry is going. It’s a new day!

I read the story I posted yesterday to one of my friends and he asked “What happens next?!” That made me smile. I told him it was meant to be that way. That’s what a short story is. There really are light and shadow beings. The technology of today is finally able to capture their images.

Today I’m thinking about revisiting a story I wrote way back in Sr High School like 1985 or 86……..yes I’m an old fart! The story was called How The Rose Came To Be. I don’t want to dig through my storage bins to find it so I’ll start from scratch. I will make it a separate post .

Tomorrow I have something to look forward to. One of the ladies I met through Meetup has invited me to coffee! I had put out an intention to God that even if I only met one person and made a friend that would be good. Prayers are being answered!

15 November 2021 Good night

by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, dreams, Mental Health, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello. It’s 1003 pm here as I write. I should be winding down and going to sleep but I can’t for some reason. I feel tired but as soon as the lights are out my eyes pop open. I just lay in the dark awake. Does that happen to you? I have tried a couple different sleep aides but none of them work not even Benadryl! I want a deep sleep with happy dreams! Some of my favorite dreams are when I get to fly. You just jump up and oops there goes gravity!

“Eyes wide shut the dark night pulls it’s strings on the curtain call of this day.”

“She closed her eyes and the sky was a brilliant blue. The sunlight was soft….no clouds. She reached her hands towards the sky and gave a little jump…up up and away she flew. “ That was what happened in one of my flying dreams .

Well I’m going to try and fall asleep again. Goodnight.

15 November 2021 Be One Of The Lights (short story)

by saymber, posted in Short stories, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

She sat down head in hands taking a deep breath. The day fell off of her shoulders. She could hear the multitudes of people lingering around her. So many stories. She lifted her head and was shocked by what she saw. All the people around her were just shadows! She blinked her eyes a couple of times to make sure her eyes weren’t playing tricks on her but the shadows remained. Then she saw a being that seemed to be made of light come towards her….walking through all the shadows. She heard a voice, “Be one of the lights.” She blinked just once and all the shadows became people again. The light being was nowhere to be found. Suddenly the people passing by began to stare at her. Some of them walked towards her asking ,”Can you help me?” They all had faraway looks in their eyes like they were lost. Pretty soon she was surrounded. She caught a brief glimpse of light and realized it was her own hand.

15 November 2021 Glow

by saymber, posted in history, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you how are you? It’s Monday again. My Monday is gray and overcast. In a little while I have to drive to my therapist appointment. It will be good for me to get out and talk to another human being.

We had a small victory here. If you will recall from a few posts ago I had bought a Djembe drum. Well turns out it had wood eating insects in it!! Well one of my new Meetup friends suggested I put it in a bag and freeze it. If worked! I could send it back but I am kind of attached to it now. When I look at the little instrument it reminds me that I too have flaws and imperfections but am still useful to God.

The times I feel the most useful is when I’m feeling the “glow.” It’s that warm feeling in the center of my chest when I’m right where and when I’m supposed to be. When I feel that feeling it emanates through my whole body. Most times it comes when I’m expressing true emotions…..stuff of the spirit. When I’m talking with others about real things….about God. When I’m in that space I’m not worried about the world I’m living in….what I’ve left undone.

Sometimes this world feels like the story of Mary and Martha:

Luke 10:38-42New International Version

At the Home of Martha and Mary

38 As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha(A) opened her home to him. 39 She had a sister called Mary,(B) who sat at the Lord’s feet(C)listening to what he said. 40 But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care(D) that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”

41 “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried(E) and upset about many things,42 but few things are needed—or indeed only one.[a](F) Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”

Busy busy busy……our world is so busy that we miss what is important. We miss what is right in front of us. We miss an opportunity to glow. In the end what is it that remains of us ? Is it what we did or how and who we loved?

What makes you glow?

14 November 2021 Safe

by saymber, posted in history, Home, Mental Health, Music, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hi. How are you? It’s 806 pm as I write you. Today has been a good day. For those of you that have been following along with me you know driving has been a thing for me. Today I drove the farthest I’ve driven here in Idaho and made it there and back safe….praise God and my guardian Angel! I had a really enjoyable visit with my family – it was a happy birthday!

Tonight I watched a live broadcast of Elevation Church’s Steven Furtick and his message really resonated. Steven had a unique style of preaching – so much energy! Don’t weep for what’s left you, whatever it is. Something better is coming!! Build on what remains. I have endured a lot of losses but a lot of good remains. A lot of good has come. God knows my heart and has not abandoned me to sorrow. Today I was crying for the loss of my husband to divorce and God filled the void with my loving family. I can’t go back….only forwards…..better!

I can remember being in my back yard in Texas crying because my world had gotten so small. I kept playing the song by Mind In A Box called Escape over and over. God had to move so many pieces to answer my pleas. I lost so much but as my new life unfolds I realize there was no other way. God delivered me and my husband. My husband was too young to be trapped as my caretaker and he just couldn’t help me. So many pieces have to move for just one moment….just one prayer.

14 November 2021 Meetup and Comfort Zone

by saymber, posted in animals, Home, Mental Health, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello there how are you?! It’s Sunday morning as I write to you. I have a cup of coffee and my writing buddy Link beside me. What a blessing it is to wake up to his furry face each day!

So last night I hosted the first event for my Connect Middleton Idaho Meetup Group and I was so pleased! There were three of us and our 40 minutes on Zoom went so fast! We spent the time getting to know each other better and plan to meet again next Saturday. One person from Middleton has joined the group so I’m hoping they will join us for the next event. It’s baby steps! I’m so grateful!

Today is stepping or rather driving out of my comfort zone day. My cousin is hosting a birthday party for my Aunt and his son at their house and I have to get there on my own. I’m a little nervous but I know if I get lost all I have to do is call! Gradually I’m hoping I will regain my confidence and not be so afraid of driving here. It’s been almost a year since my accident. Oh and today is actually my Uncle Bills birthday! Happy Birthday Uncle!

A personal birthday wish!

13 November 2021 Helpers

by saymber, posted in history, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Television, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

For some reason I am thinking about Fred Rogers tonight. When I remember him I feel warm inside. Sometimes when I see old reruns of his show I will start to cry when he sings. He was just so kind! He had one of those faces you see in a crowd and you just know everything is going to be ok.

One of those small comforts has come to be Fred Rogers’s famous advice to look for the helpers. “When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news,” Rogers said to his television neighbors, “my mother would say to me, ‘Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.’ (Source Internet)

Who are the helpers in your life? There are so many we can’t even see but they are there. I think about turning on the light switch and there being light. So many helpers working round the clock to make sure we have light, heat and cooling. There is of course our police, firemen, gas station attendants, snow plow drivers, truckers, ferrymen, military, doctors, nurses, waiters, cooks, hair dressers, IT people and so many other professions that work round the clock making our lives better. My ex husband used to work at a dry cleaners. He told me it felt like his kindness was the only kindness some of his customers saw all day! A friendly smile and hello helping make what might of been a miserable day into a better one. He consciously chose to be a helper.

Are you a helper? Are you one of the lights in our sometimes dark days? Sometimes all you have to do is smile. Hold a door for someone. Say hello and wave. Try a random act of kindness. For example I’ve seen people pay for another persons groceries before. Just one thing can sometimes change somebody’s life. Kindness is the right kind of contagion!

13 November 2021 Saturday

by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging
Where’s the sunshine Mom?

Good morning to you from here. It’s a misty cold Saturday as I write. How are you?

My imagination going a little wild this morning!

So I’ve been kind of binge watching Slapped Ham YouTube videos. Some of the videos really make you go hmmmm. With software editing technology being what it is today and people’s motives you can’t really take any of them at face value. You have to question even the ones that you want to be true like those with light beings. So many experiences are not recorded.

My ex husband I had something happen to us in our first apartment in Delaware.

One night I was laying on my stomach at the edge of the bed and suddenly started to feel like throwing up and that I was being choked. My husband yelled and it stopped. The bedroom was really cold. We ran out and stayed out for a few minutes. When we went back in the room it was freezing cold. My husband told me he saw a black cloud hovering over me while I was being choked. The next day we watched people taking someone in a body bag on a stretcher out of the house directly across the street! We had waved at the woman living there many times. After that day we went over with flowers to give our condolences but the house had been condemned! Several months later new people moved in and we never saw the lady again.

“The longer I live and the more I see the stronger I clutch on to thee. Where shadows dwell with rancid hell I pray you will always light the way for me.”

11 November 2021 New Worlds – Courage to Walk Through Doors

by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, drawing, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Good day to you. I want to open this post today with the scene from the movie about Temple Grandin it brought tears to my eyes this morning: https://youtu.be/48V1GRrwhd8

I have to change my perception of the world I live in or I’m going to stay stuck!

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go. “ Joshua 1:9

New worlds behind every door.

Some doors you cannot see. The door I have to get more courage to walk through is the door within myself. Like I told my therapist this week I feel like I’m sitting on my couch with Link and my phone white knuckling it through my life. I’m afraid to live and life keeps passing me by.

People will make suggestions about what I should or could do and I discount them with one excuse or another. Nothing fits right. At my core I’m still grieving my losses. Last night I watched a rebroadcast of a sermon by Steven Furtick and what he said really resonated, stop crying the best is yet to come: https://youtu.be/SmhH89V_1h0.

“What door God is meant for me? How many doors must I open to find a place for me?”

A salute to my fellow Veterans today is Veterans Day.