Category: Mental Health

16 March 2021 Procrastination

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Exploring numeric value of words in English language, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, trust, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello there! How are you this day as you visit me here? I hope you are doing well. I asked God for a topic today and all that came forth was one word procrastination. I decided I didn’t like how I feel thinking about that word! When I think of that word it provokes anxiety! I start asking myself questions like “What have I left undone God?” “What should I be doing that I’m not doing!” So I sought inspiration in a little book my Aunt gave me for me birthday last year; it’s called Bible Promises For You:

I am Joyful

You will go out in joy and be led forth in peace; the mountains and hills will burst into song before you, and all the trees of the field will clap their hands. Isaiah 55:12 NIV

Perhaps there is some kind of connection between procrastination and joy I don’t know about? Perhaps you can’t know joy unless you do what your putting off ? So if something is really nagging you the sooner you get it done the sooner you will experience joy? I wonder. I think a big part of procrastination for me is fear:

I am Unafraid

Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand. Isaiah 41:10 NLT

Here are some of the key words in numbers:

brain” in the English Ordinal system equals 44

“ inspiration” in the English Ordinal system equals 144

“procrastination ” in the English Ordinal system equals 192 (one no light and shadow existence)

“religion” in the English Ordinal system equals 89

“joyful ” in the English Ordinal system equals 89

“Jesus” in the English Ordinal system equals 74

“unafraid” in the English Ordinal system equals 74

15 March 2021 Sugar

by saymber, posted in Exploring numeric value of words in English language, Food, Health, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, trust, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you, how are you ? I hope this finds you well. We are having beautiful weather right now and I am so grateful. I am hearing places like where my parents live and some of my friends are having a spring blizzard!

Well this morning I was asking for a topic and the one that came through above all the others was “Sugar.” Since my divorce and all that has been going on in my life, I have gained a lot of weight. A big part of of the weight gain is I have been seeking comfort in food. I have had a lifelong addiction to sugar. Sugar has always been a big part of my diet in whatever form I can get it. Sometimes it’s natural sugar and most other times it’s cookies, candy and things that I drink. My particular Biome, little earth inside my gut, just seems to run on the stuff . If I don’t get enough of it, I act like someone who is in withdrawal from another addictive substances.

It seems like if I am not addicted to one thing it’s something else. I want to claim victory over addictive substances and can’t entirely do it on my own!

Just this morning I was listening to a recent teaching by Joyce Meyer. She brings up a good point that what we think about gains power. So in order to have victory over sugar I need to talk to myself and be in prayer with God like I already do have victory over it. This Is a lesson I have been taught time and time again and I just need to put forth the effort to show I have learned it. Today I have to go the grocery store and I will be tempted! I will need to put on my holy armor!

Ephesians 6:10-18

The Armor of God

10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11 Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. 12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 13 Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14 Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15 and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16 In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17 Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. 18 And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people.

Psalm 17: Keep me as the apple of your eye; hide me in the shadow of your wings – thinking of my Grandma saying to me when I visited her one time that I was the apple of her eye!

“sugar” in the English Ordinal system equals 66 (all vices in check but one TWICE so an entire self submitting to addiction)

13 March 2021 Walk

by saymber, posted in animals, Bipolar life, Exploring numeric value of words in English language, Health, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Nature, Spirituality and Religion, trust, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you how are you this day? I am doing pretty good. Just got back from a nice walk with Link. The past couple of days have been really beautiful – warm and sunny. I am looking forward to spring and more days like this.

Now you ask why the title “walk.” Well I asked for a topic and that is the word the came through loud and clear. May be my brain was catching up to that’s what we were doing at the time I asked lol! I don’t know! I looked up the word Walk in my NIV Bible and there are several references; like 211 of them. Here is one for example: John 8:12

12 When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.”

Now to talk about walks/walking in the context of my daily life it’s a vital part of it. I can’t even say the word without Link perking his ears up! We try to get out at least once to two times a day if the weather is nice. Walking replaced running for me because my knees got bad from running so much when I was younger. Walking has always been a great therapy too – walk up to 40 minutes to kick in the “happy chemicals” in the brain.

Some of my best memories are from walks with my husband, family and friends. Seeing rainbows, flocks of birds, elaborate spider webs, trees and flowers. No matter how “ugly” the place I have been, I have always managed to find the beauty in the midst of it. When you walk with God you walk with all of your senses not just for exercise. I’m grateful that I am able to walk!

Lets see what the question I ask Link is in the numbers:

“do you want to go for a walk?” in the English Ordinal system equals 282 (light and shadow process with eternity in between)

11 March 2021 Blue Sky “Wow”

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Exploring numeric value of words in English language, Mental Health, Music, Nature, Spirituality and Religion, trust, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello and good morning to you. How are you doing in your day thus far? I hope you are well. This morning I was seeking a topic and asked God about it and then almost on cue a huge formation of birds appeared in the sky! At first there were no words just the sound of the birds. Then the first word that came to my mind was “WOW!” The sky was such a clear blue so I could see the birds really clearly. I of course didn’t have any camera other than my two eyes. I guess this amazing sight was just for God and I to witness….”just for us.” Sometimes there are no words to be had just an awe inspiring sight. So much happens in the sky that if your not paying attention you will miss.

Genesis 1:8 NIV

“God called the expanse “sky” and there was evening and there was morning – the second day

“blue sky” in the English Ordinal system equals 95 (no sensory experience – this makes sense as you can’t sense the sky, the sky just is)

10 March 2021 Always

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Exploring numeric value of words in English language, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, trust, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello and good morning to you. How are you ? I am better after having a walk with Link this morning! There is something about sunshine and cool weather that just feels good.

Lately I have been listening to Joyce Meter and other pastors a lot and realized with them doing all the talking there isn’t much room for God to speak to me. I decided to ask God this morning on the walk “what is the message for today” and the one word that came through really loud and clear, more than once was the word Always.

“People, places and things may abandon you but I won’t. I will always love you and never abandon you” in the English Ordinal system equals 952 (no, all the senses light and shadow existence – God doesn’t have a body )

That is what I heard God say to me today and I just have to believe it! Now always is a long time but not impossible. God, no matter what name and or face you put on them has been around forever. I believe a promise of forever love, to always be there is a promise God can keep.

I just have to quit expecting a human being to be able to keep such a promise. Human being are fickle and changeable. We are limited by our short years of existence.

The other thing is always is an absolute kind of word. People shouldn’t live in absolutes like always and never but God can. God is absolutely capable of always loving me. Lets see what always is in the numbers:

“always” in the English Ordinal system equals 81 (eternity for one)

9 March 2021 Getting That Sunshiny Feeling

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Exploring numeric value of words in English language, Health, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, trust, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello, how are you today? I hope this finds you well. Today I wanted to talk about a nice yet elusive feeling I got this morning after getting my taxes done at H & R Block. I had been really nervous for weeks leading up to deciding to do my taxes. Turns out there was nothing to really worry about! My little prayer before being called back helped I think!

As I drove home from the appointment, I started to feel that sunshiny feeling in my gut – warmth and relief. Part of me thinks the feeling was also having a sense of accomplishment at completing a task I had been dreading. I even went to our local burger joint and ordered lunch to celebrate!

I have started to notice a pattern for me. I have a habit of making little things big. All I have to do is go through whatever it is and it’s like it was never a big deal after all! I really like the sunshiny feeling ! I think it is good for me to have something to do, may be on a more regular basis (besides taxes!) that evokes these feelings. I will have to pray on it and see what doors God opens!

“balance” in the English Ordinal system equals 38

“getting that sunshiny feeling” in the English Ordinal system equals 318

8 March 2020 Be still, do nothing and say a prayer

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Exploring numeric value of words in English language, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, trust, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you, how are you ? Today started out rough. I just didn’t want to do anything but stay in bed. I tried to “scare it away” like before but I just couldn’t shake the feelings I was having. I can’t raise my voice or yell without scaring Link so that’s the other thing. I had about given up on the day when I got a text from a new friend I made from a Codependency telephone group. She was having a rough day herself and just needed to touch base with a friend. Taking in to account something I had just recently heard Joyce Meyer say and what I had learned from my own experience I asked her if she would like to talk about it and so she called me. Sometimes by being a blessing to someone else in a time of need, we ourselves are blessed and such was the case here.

We shared each others problems and whittled them down to the sweet spot – Jesus – God and how sometimes when we don’t know what else to do we just have to be still, do nothing and pray. We decided it would be a good idea to say some prayers about the situation she was facing and it really felt good to do that. In her time of trial she was a blessing to me. Just talking to her got me up and out of bed!

This friend is the second in the past couple of days to tell me why they are a Christian and give their testimony to me. I had prayed about this before bed last night! “God, Jesus, show yourself to me” I believe God answered and these answers actually warmed my heart and gave me hope.

I’m curious what the title I chose reflects in the numbers:

“Be still, do nothing and say a prayer ” in the English Ordinal system equals 333 (yes, no may be x3! not exactly serenity in the numbers) I just looked at phone and it’s 3:33 pm lol go figure.

6 March 2021 Spirit

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, dreams, Exploring numeric value of words in English language, Mental Health, Native American Culture, Spirituality and Religion, trust, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello, how are you? Todays topic arises out of something I watched yesterday – a Pow Wow on Youtube. People participating in the Pow Wow talked about being filled with the Spirit while they danced. I can relate to that feeling. When I used to dance in the backyard in Texas I felt like I was full of the Spirit too. I thought it was interesting that these two are alike in the numbers!

“Jesus Christ” in the English Ordinal system equals 151

“Holy spirit” in the English Ordinal system equals 151

Holy Spirit

Holy Spirit

In Abrahamic religions, the Holy Spirit is an aspect or agent of God, by means of which God communicates with people or acts on them.

Great Spirit (slife.org) – click on this link to read more

The Great Spirit, by way of the spiritual leaders, is looked to for spiritual and cultural guidance on both an individual and community level.

Last year about this time I felt like I was full of what I thought was the Spirit. It turns out it was more like I was full of multiple spirits. I found out first hand that if you don’t have a particular path of spirituality, you can get hijacked by spirits and or energies without a form. I found out the air is just full of spirits with voices. I can remember one day a huge flock of blackbirds landed in a tree out back and I started “translating” what they were saying . Another time a spider and it’s baby landed on my arm and they had a voice. Each part of creation is a fragment of God with a voice. I know that sounds weird but that’s what happened. I think this is part of the reason my husband left me because I just wouldn’t shut up! He couldn’t get any sleep. There was always someone wanting to talk from young to old and all sorts of different languages.

What I had done was to ask God to speak to me in a way that I could understand and it turns out EVERYTHING was God and EVERYTHING had something to say! I guess I was porous and was not only surrounded by spirits but they got inside of me. There are so many sources of energy for which a spirit can obtain energy. In reflection of it all, I don’t know if that was just my mind being delusional or if it was a real phenomenon. Since I have been back on my medication this spirit business hasn’t been happening. Be careful what you ask God!

Some of the spirit business was in my dreams last night I had a vivid dream last night about a haunted house, seeing my dog Sam in his yellow hoodie and then wanting to see my husband who looked like Jesus but not being able to see him. Probably just my mind grappling with what was my reality. Before bed I had seen a preview of a Pureflix movie about Jesus and that must have been a key to unlock the dream I had.

I have been praying for a reestablishing of a relationship between me and specifically the Holy Spirit so we’ll see what God has in mind. May be it’s just dreams for now.

5 March 2021 “Get up for your family!”

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Exploring numeric value of words in English language, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, trust, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello, how are you doing today? I hope you are well. I just got done talking with one of my old neighbors about various things to include my having trouble getting up some mornings. She said, “Get up for your family!” I hadn’t thought about it that way before as the only family I have in the house is Link! I have extended family in the area like my Aunt, Uncle, three cousins and their children. I have never thought about having the reason I should get up out of bed be for them!

These problems I have been having in the morning started ever since my husband left me. When we were together I practically jumped out of bed in the morning! I am beginning to think he was my muse about life. It was his love and our relationship that was the inspiration of what happened in my day. I got up to make us breakfast and we got up to walk the dogs together.

Sometimes I set my husband above the place of God in my life.

Now that I am alone, I am realizing the one I am getting up for isn’t any tangible being….it’s the Holy Spirit….it’s God. After all it was God that helped me write the blogs I wrote in the past, draw the pictures, do the chalk drawings and take the photographs . It was the invisible force of God that would give me a subtle nudge one way or another to do some of the most creative things I have done. I kind of forgot to give the glory to God and wasn’t specific about it. I have been praying for God to “show me” again, to re-establish the relationship we had together before everything feel apart. Show me in ways I can understand why I need to get up in the morning – to start my day. I want to be an instrument for God.

I will keep working on getting up for my family and the head of my family is God. God can be where my family cannot.

“get up for your God” in the English Ordinal system equals 213 (month and day I was born!)(light and shadow process, for one, yes, no, may be)

“get up for your family” in the English Ordinal system equals 253 (light and shadow process, all senses, yes, no may be existence)

3 March 2021 Messengers

by saymber, posted in animals, Exploring numeric value of words in English language, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, trust, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you how are you? I am pretty good but man am I hungry for spirit food! I have lost track of how many spiritual and positive affirmation recordings I’ve listened to on You Tube the past couple of days. So many different messengers with similar messages all leading to the same font of all that is – God.

I have written in the past that we are all messengers with messages to carry for God. What gets tricky is there are different messengers. Each messenger has their own unique and special way in order to share their message; it may or may not resonate with everyone who receives it. No one person is a messenger for all.

One of my messengers lately has been Joyce Meyer. Her style and approach to delivering daily ways to live with God resonate with me. Not everyone might feel that way. They may have someone else they would rather listen to and learn from.

I am hoping that as I get closer to God I will again be connected like I was before. I hope there will be many messengers and I will never feel alone again.

“cat” in the English Ordinal system equals 24 (thought this was humorous as cats are often seen as half in and half out of the spirit world)

“messengers” in the English Ordinal system equals 124