15 November 2021 Glow

Hello to you how are you? It’s Monday again. My Monday is gray and overcast. In a little while I have to drive to my therapist appointment. It will be good for me to get out and talk to another human being.

We had a small victory here. If you will recall from a few posts ago I had bought a Djembe drum. Well turns out it had wood eating insects in it!! Well one of my new Meetup friends suggested I put it in a bag and freeze it. If worked! I could send it back but I am kind of attached to it now. When I look at the little instrument it reminds me that I too have flaws and imperfections but am still useful to God.

The times I feel the most useful is when I’m feeling the “glow.” It’s that warm feeling in the center of my chest when I’m right where and when I’m supposed to be. When I feel that feeling it emanates through my whole body. Most times it comes when I’m expressing true emotions…..stuff of the spirit. When I’m talking with others about real things….about God. When I’m in that space I’m not worried about the world I’m living in….what I’ve left undone.

Sometimes this world feels like the story of Mary and Martha:

Luke 10:38-42New International Version

At the Home of Martha and Mary

38 As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha(A) opened her home to him. 39 She had a sister called Mary,(B) who sat at the Lord’s feet(C)listening to what he said. 40 But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care(D) that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”

41 “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried(E) and upset about many things,42 but few things are needed—or indeed only one.[a](F) Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”

Busy busy busy……our world is so busy that we miss what is important. We miss what is right in front of us. We miss an opportunity to glow. In the end what is it that remains of us ? Is it what we did or how and who we loved?

What makes you glow?

24 October 2021 Tiny Drum

Hi there! I couldn’t wait til tomorrow to tell you about the new addition to my home! My drum arrived just a few minutes ago and boy was I surprised . My new drum is tiny!!

My tiny drum

It’s tiny but makes a great sound. I can imagine playing it shoulder to shoulder with bigger drums. It was kind of a mess when I unwrapped it – covered with dust but I was able to get most of it cleaned off.

The other exciting thing that happened today was I bit the bullet and started the Meetup group. It’s called Connect Middleton Idaho. I planted a seed and hopefully it will bear good fruit. Part of me is really nervous about it but I feel it in my heart. In my heart this feels like the path God wants me to go.

All of this is me trying to find myself again. Thank you for taking this journey with me .

22 October 2021 Drum Circle

Hello from Middleton Idaho! How are you doing today? I’m feeling pretty good. I got the grocery shopping done early and that was interesting. It looks like our Ridleys is doing some changes. All the greetings cards were removed and also the section of the store where you scoop your own stuff was dismantled. I found everything I was looking for minus jugs of drinking water – there was only one left! Today is an overcast day. They say it’s going to rain and I hope it does. My car is filthy!!

Have you ever played a drum?

So I did something special today. I ordered a drum to replace the one I broke. It’s a Djembe drum: https://youtu.be/aLeede5z1vQ – this is a video about how these drums are made. It’s not an expensive drum. I’ll see how it sounds. It should be here Sunday – it was in stock. I have this reoccurring thought of getting people together to play music or even just a drum circle. These thoughts stem from some fond memories I have of a Christmas solstice gathering I had many years ago with my “tribe.” A part of me knows what we had was once in a lifetime but who knows! I took a step today towards trying to manifest a reality I want to live in. You can’t have a drum circle without a drum! I want a circle of friends again and I’m hoping it can happen. I’ll be sure to take a picture of the drum when I get it.

So who were these friends I had that meant so much to me? Who was my “tribe?”They were not the kind of people you would meet here in Idaho. It was a surprise to meet them in Texas which is also a conservative state! One did acupuncture out of her home, another was a hospice nurse, one was a massage therapist, one was a co-founder of a place called The Earth School and one was a teacher of Philosophenoma. There was also a woman who taught the energy modality Quantum Touch . I found this group through the acupuncturist. I’ll never forget the day we met – her smile! She did an acupuncture treatment on both my husband and I. It was the first time either of us had experienced that! From that day a friendship was born but sadly we are no longer in touch . My friendships with these people were a casualty of my being bipolar – the stuff I talked about in my blog yesterday. We lived in Texas for 12 years and for the last 4 or 5 I was in and out of the hospital for mania. It was for this group of friends I had bought my original drum.

As cutting edge as my friends were, they couldn’t handle my manic episodes. During one of my episodes I was convinced Alvarado, where I was living, was going to blow up. I made my husband pack up our animals and go over to the acupuncturists home. She really didn’t know what to do. I think she felt sorry for my husband. Like I said stuff like this kept happening! I lost my husband and most of my friends because of this condition. I can’t blame them for leaving me.

So now I am mostly alone. A dog without a pack. The friends I have now are mostly virtual. Part of me is afraid to reach out again. If I get close to people will I go manic again? One of my triggers is spiritual stuff. I was trying to get certified in the energy healing modality called Quantum Touch. I attended a couple classes and a lot of strange experiences came out of that – strangely wonderful. I actually helped people! But it was fleeting. I needed the second class to get certified and just wasn’t willing to fly to another state to get the class done. The experiences I had kind of went to my head. May be it’s good I didn’t get certified- especially if it was going to trigger me .

God has a place for me. May be this drum will be a fresh start. I know I’ve run a bit long today. Thank you for your time.