Hello. It’s evening as I write to you . Have you ever felt like some unseen force was pulling you down? Keeping you stuck in place when you want to move forward? I feel that feeling nearly everyday. Well lately I have been saying this , “God I have to find a way to live this life!”
A long time ago ,during my first marriage we went to a marriage counselor. He was a priest. He gave me an analogy of what my relationship with my husband was. He said it was two people who each have a bag to bring to the relationship . One persons bag was full and the other was empty with a big hole in it. The person with the full bag kept trying to fill the bag with a hole in it and finally had nothing left to share. Both bags were empty. The relationship could not continue like that.
Sitting here writing this, twice divorced now I have a near empty bag riddled with holes. This past year really tore my bag up! It takes time and a lot of thread to make such major repairs! A part of me is so lonely. I get so bored and want the company of someone nice but I know I’m not ready yet. I’m still sewing patches on my bag. My spirit is an ember when it used to be a flame. I am wanting God to bring somebody into my life when I’m ready. When my bag is full again!
“ I’m going to break these chains that bind me. I’m going to set all my tears to sea. God is watching and waiting. God is ready and anticipating. Say my name. Let the ember be a flame. “ – Jackie