27 December 2022 Quiet World

Hello to you. How are you? I hope this finds you well. I just went and got groceries – not my favorite chore. When I bent down to a lower shelf to get some chicken soup I lost my balance and fell. Very embarrassing! I am too heavy and need to lose weight.

Today I’m thinking about how quiet my world is compared to when I was manic and was connected to the spirit world. I miss my friends – the benevolent spirits that kept me company. I was never alone or lonely when they were with me. Another side effect of the medication in addition to losing a lot of hair. My hair is really brittle and whenever I brush it a bunch comes out . This happened with Depakote before.

Quiet mind vacant drifts the waves fall on blank and porous shores.

16 December 2022 Asking for Help

Hello to you. How are you today? Today my thoughts turn to something that has never been easy for me to do and that is asking for help. I’ve always been self reliant and independent but since I’ve moved here to Idaho and the health issues that have cropped up I have been having to ask for help and thanks be to God it’s been there!

What is it that keeps us from wanting to ask for help? Pride? Fear of making debts we may not be able to repay? Lately I’ve been asking Jesus for his help a lot. I’m hoping for some miracle that only he can deliver in regards to my health. May be that’s why I’m going through this at all – so that I might get closer to him. Not try and rely on my own strength and understanding. That’s what it seems like anyways.

I’m grateful for my family here helping me get through what I’m going through. They are extensions of Jesus in my life.

14 December 2022 Little Coffee Pot

Hello to you. How are you? This morning I ventured out early to get groceries because I needed to buy some coffee for the new little coffee pot my Aunt bought for me. She found a little 5 cup at Savers and thought of me. During my manic episode my coffee pot was one of the casualties.

She found a reusable filter that fit perfectly too so no buying paper filters

13 December 2022 Consider the Lilies

Hello to you. How are you today? I was looking through the clippings from my Grandma and found this pretty one. How easy it is for us to take the beauty of each day for granted. Since I’ve had this condition set in on me, I’ve not been as good about appreciating the natural beauty that surrounds me. It’s just a struggle to walk versus easily getting around and taking in the world around me.

Appreciation for the little things that make up our world

12 December 2022 Belief

Hello to you . How are you today? My thoughts turn to belief today. I want to believe in the healing power of God over what I’ve got going on physically and psychologically. I want to believe God is healing me and restoring me to my self. Half of the battle in healing is just that I think. People can pray for us but if we don’t believe the change can’t occur.

Thank you for your kind words and prayers of support – I believe they are helping!

9 December 2022 Happy Birthday Link

Happy birthday baby boy – he’s 8 today

Today is Links birthday. Hard to believe he’s 8 already! We got snow over night pretty thick too.

Talked to my psychologist yesterday and we decided to put things on hold until we get the physical stuff worked out. I have a appt scheduled with neurology in March.

7 December 2022 Personal testimony about Mal de barquement syndrome

https://youtu.be/gsGNKHi_FUM – breaking my silence – Mal de barquement syndrome

All of what she’s describing is what I have going on. It’s the best video I have seen describing the symptoms of the condition.

7 December 2022 Creativity

Hello to you . Hope this finds you well. I’m struggling with creativity and medication. I’ve found that when I am on strong medication I can’t think as clearly as I normally can. My drawing and writing skills are impaired. I am having to choose between mania and sedation I guess. I choose reality – sanity and if that means sedation then that’s what has to happen.

My drawing is primitive but heart felt – love my boy his 8th bday is in a couple days
Another of my Grandmas clippings for me

5 December 2022 Every Lesson is a Teacher

Some lessons come around more than once

My life is challenging these days. With the ears and swaying issues I feel tired a lot of the time. I feel like I want to sleep most of the time. I haven’t heard about my referral yet. God is testing me I think!

28 November 2022 A Quest For Answers

Hello to you. Today I had an appt with a doctor at the VA about my swaying situation. He wants to persue a quest for answers through checking my ears and neurology. We brought up the fact I had been tased and want to see if that would have any impact on what’s going on. So we shall see. He’s doing a referral for me through the Elks – I hope they can help me. What pleased both my Aunt and I is that he didn’t just think tapering off medication was the only answer. He is taking the physical into consideration.

It looks like my Aunt and Uncle are interested in going to see Season 3 of The Chosen in the theatre tomorrow. It’s such a good show! By going we would be showing our support.