16 October 2021 Doors

Hello there. It’s Saturday as I write to you. It’s looking like it’s going to be a beautiful fall day. I like watching the wind play with the leaves .

There is a simple but powerful prayer my Aunt and I came up with a long time ago; “May the doors that need to open, open. May the doors that need to shut, shut. Amen.” I am finding I am having trouble shutting doors that need to be shut lately. As I’ve mentioned before I’m a softy. I don’t like to hurt other peoples feelings even if it means my own feelings get hurt.

Sometimes even shut doors aren’t completely closed

The door that is stuck partway open right now is Idaho. It’s been over a year since my cousin and his wife brought me here and I still feel like a newcomer. I just haven’t found a way to fit in yet. This is a similar problem I have faced most of my life. It’s always been hard for me to fit in. I have always felt like an outsider.

When I was in the military it was a very transitory lifestyle. As soon as you got comfortable some place it was time to move. It really messed with my head. Leaving Texas after living there 12 years was hard; but I don’t feel like I had much of a choice though. I couldn’t stay there. So here I am in Idaho a place I never expected to live!

I guess I have to reach for my gratitude list. For whatever reason I’m at this place in my life and I need to be grateful for a soft landing for a very hard fall. Looking at the rest of the world today it could be so much worse for me. There is a place for me I just haven’t found the right door yet.

29 March 2021 Belonging

Hello to you, how are you ? It’s Monday afternoon as I write to you. Today I have been thinking about belonging and this passage resonated with me. It’s one of my favorites:

Romans 12:5-8 New International Version

so in Christ we, though many, form one body, and each member belongs to all the othersWe have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us. If your gift is prophesying, then prophesy in accordance with your[a] faith; if it is serving, then serve; if it is teaching, then teach; if it is to encourage, then give encouragement; if it is giving, then give generously; if it is to lead,[b] do it diligently; if it is to show mercy, do it cheerfully.

Where do I belong God? What is my part? These are questions I have been asking and waiting for an answer to for most of my life. I thought my part was being a wife and for 28 years of my adult life that was true. I have been fired from that part twice now! So now I am out in the world on my own (with Link) and am not sure what part God has planned for me.

Other people like my Aunt, Uncle, cousins and friends all seem to represent a part of God’s body and try to help me with my quest to know God better. My problem is that I keep looking for “the one” part of God’s body and that body went away some thousands of years ago!

So where do I belong God? That is and has been my biggest question for the body of God. I will have to wait to see what answer that body has for me.

planet” in the English Ordinal system equals 68

where do I belong God” in the English Ordinal system equals 168