23 November 2021 Twitch – Good Day

Hello! It’s morning here as I write to you. I just tried something new. Yesterday my therapist introduced me to Twitch to try and help me with my lonelys problem and so this morning I did a Livestream for a few minutes to try it out. If you use Twitch you can use the search to find me at jwygant. It said I had a viewer but I think it was me lol. A lot of the views go to people with pretty polished presentations. Yesterday I really enjoyed hearing live violin music. One site called Artesianbuilds is watching high end computer builds. From my experience so far, I think I can recommend Twitch.

Yesterday was really a good day. I can honestly say I enjoyed my own company which is rare for me to say! I had a good session with my therapist and on the way home I got groceries and gas in the car (both expensive but can’t be helped! It cost me what I usually pay for a full tank for just a half of a tank). I was planning on bringing green bean casserole to Thanksgiving but couldn’t find the ingredients! So I picked up a key lime pie that should be good.

I have scheduled a Meetup group for the 4th of December (Connect Middleton ID). I don’t expect much since it’s the holiday season but can’t hurt to try. I have to keep it going since I’m paying for it! If you know about Meetup and would like to visit it’s free. RSVP!

I feel like I’m swirling back to a place I’ve been before. A few years ago I was doing videos I called Morning Coffee With Jackie. I did it on YouTube. I kind of got lost in the abyss and gave it up. May be I’ll try something like that on Twitch. I keep thinking of Mr Rogers Neighborhood. May be I can be a friendly face in the crowd. I’m not looking to make money just reaching out. We will see where things go.

“There are three ways to ultimate success: The first way is to be kind. The second way is to be kind. The third way is to be kind.” – Fred Rogers

18 October 2021

Hello there how are you? It’s a gray and overcast Monday as I write to you. There wasn’t light until 8! How is it where you live?

So yesterday I went over to my Aunt and Uncles to help make jalapeño pepper jam. I had never done that before. I was in charge of measuring the sugar and other odd jobs. My two cousins and cousins daughter were there and it was good to see them. I was so in the moment I didn’t get any pictures of the jam! My uncle John was the only man in the outfit!

I didn’t get to stay too long as my bowels were acting up. They made about 4 batches of jam and they used the jalapeños after they were juiced for salsa.

I heard the sad news today that Colin Powell died from complications of Covid-19 and cancer . He was the first black Secretary of State . One of my favorite quotes is from him :

The day soldiers stop bringing you their problems is the day you have stopped leading them. They have either lost confidence that you can help them or concluded that you do not care. Either case is a failure of leadership.”

For fun: https://youtu.be/rZSaD4QLjxE Breathtaking AI Generated Portraits by Bas Uterwijk

“We stand in this moment a foothold in time. Where do we go from here? Do we reach to the top shelves for the hidden best or do we continue to grimace in pain as we stoop for the obvious? The stream of life flows forward so swiftly with hands still reaching back. Grasping anything to steady us as we lose our footing. What is our identity? Who are our tribes? We think we are standing still but the sand continues to give way. We are but mere little children in this vast cosmos. Time stretching forward and backwards in a snapshot of space. The all seeing eye of time a voyeur to our rise and fall.”

13 October 2021 Wednesday

Hello there, how are you ? It’s Wednesday or hump day as many people call it. Looks like it’s going to be gray and overcast today.

Yes I’m adorable get back to writing!

When the weather is like this I don’t feel like doing much of anything. All there is for me is writing and writing keeps me going. I’m so grateful for this blog and the people who stop by to visit !

“Who am I in a world of billions, living in a country in debt by the trillions. So many struggling to get ahead, Covid-19 leaving so many dead. Ships stacked with a bunch of goods, shitty sneakers to exotic foods . Water ways starting to run dry, cities scrambling to find a new supply. Who am I in this dream ? Will the human race survive or just keep losing steam ?”

I want to believe this is a world of plenty. It just seems like we don’t manage our resources very well. At some point, on a global scale, water conservation is going to have to be important. I buy water by the gallon jugs from the grocery store. Sometimes when I want to buy water they are out and that kind of scares me. What will have to change in order for us to continue to have enough water? It seems like so many products we use require water as one of its main ingredients .

Just stuff I think about!

12 October 2021 Tuesday

Hello . How are you today? I am doing ok. I finally decided to go get groceries and it wasn’t cheap and a bit of a scavenger hunt. I spent $103 for just me. I was relieved that they had drinking water but it looked like the toilet paper aisle had been raided. I don’t envy the people that work there trying to keep the store shelves stocked !

So I found a YouTube channel that was interesting: Living Life in North Idaho. The host, Trent has lived in Idaho for 30 years and is a realtor. This video done just a day ago mentions Middleton: https://youtu.be/SxrTGg48npY . He does a variety of videos some of which I wish I had seen before deciding to move here!

I thought about buying Halloween candy today but decided not to. This is my first Halloween in the neighborhood and I don’t know what to expect . There are a lot of kids living here but I don’t know if they go trick or treating or if they are just going to go the trunk or treat route. I miss dressing up with my ex husband and handing out candy. We had a steam punk theme and I had my plasma lamp that I would bring out and light up light bulbs wirelessly!

Do you decorate and celebrate Halloween? I’d love to hear about it!

29 September 2021 Strange World

Hello to you as you visit me here today . How are you ? I went and got my second Moderna shot this morning and got groceries. So far so good with how I’m feeling!

Something I was noticing today as I shopped is it feels like our local store is having trouble keeping things in stock . I’m never sure if there will be enough bottled drinking water. With more people living here and the tap water not tasting very good I guess that makes sense.

It feels like we are living in a strange world. As a kid I used to drink water from the tap and from the garden hose on a hot day. Now it has to be filtered a bunch of times to be suitable to drink . Did you ever think we would come to this ?!!

Something Strange

3 April 2021 Finding Comfort in Food

Hello to you, how are you doing today? I am doing ok. It’s a lovely sunny day here in this little town of Middleton ID. Gradually I am getting used to living here but miss some of the comforts of where I lived before namely food places to eat. When I lived in Alvarado we had a lot of fast food places really close to the interstate and they were easy to get to. Now if I want anything like that I only have Subway to choose from for commercial food places and anything else is having to drive to get it. I guess I should be grateful for that as I might eventually lose weight!

One of the things I have been doing this past year to cope with my depression, boredom and loneliness, is finding comfort in food. I especially have problems with sugar. They say sugar is as addictive as cocaine on the brain and I believe it! I haven’t been cooking for myself because there is so much waste and I just can’t justify the effort. I know that sounds pathetic but that’s just how I feel. Lately I have been making use of Grub Hub food delivery service. It’s expensive but I only do it as a treat. Paying a little more for somebody else to go to a food place and bring it to my door is worth it sometimes! Eventually I imagine I will get back to baking and cooking.

Here are a couple words and phrases in the numbers and how I interpreted them:

lie” in the English Ordinal system equals 26

dog ” in the English Ordinal system equals 26

Finding comfort in food” in the English Ordinal system equals 216 (a light and shadow process for one with all vices in check but one)

one” in the English Ordinal system equals 34

gluttony” in the English Ordinal system equals 134 (one yes, no, may be for the brain)

all” in the English Ordinal system equals 25

addicted to food” in the English Ordinal system equals 125 (one light and shadow process for the senses)

world ” in the English Ordinal system equals 72

boredom ” in the English Ordinal system equals 72 (all vices in check in a light and shadow process)

loneliness” in the English Ordinal system equals 124 (one light and shadow process for the brain)

depression ” in the English Ordinal system equals 124

24 March 2021 Effort

Hello to you, how are you doing today? I am doing pretty well. My day started off nicely with a visit with my Aunt and Uncle. They invited me over and we went out to breakfast and coffee at the Cracker Barrel. It felt like God answered my prayers to have a coffee buddy!

Something that I’ve noticed about praying for things is that there is usually effort involved in the actual answering part! The only thing effortless about praying is the praying! When you ask for something to happen the universe has to rearrange itself to comply with your request. You must use the powerful and positive energy of gratitude to encourage things along.

Sometimes what you are praying for requires an uneven exchange of energies. What you are asking for may just be at too great of a cost. It doesn’t mean to stop praying for someone who is terminally ill but you have to understand why that person might not get better. God always has a plan and sometimes we don’t like the plan. Look at the processes for treating terminal diseases like cancer, there seems to be a constant exchange involved. A giving and a taking…..ebb and flow. They give chemotherapy and or radiation and take diseased flesh and what is returned is hopefully healthy tissue.

I am reminded of the anime Full Metal Alchemist take on equivalent exchange:

Alchemy’s principal law is that of Equivalent Exchange. Equivalent Exchange is the principle that limits alchemy’s infinite potential. It’s a simple concept: something cannot be created from nothing, and so in order to obtain something, something else of equal value must be lost .

Fullmetal Alchemist: The Law of Equivalent Exchange, Explained (cbr.com)

all” in the English Ordinal system equals 25

law of equivalent exchange” in the English Ordinal system equals 250

effort” in the English Ordinal system equals 70 (all vices in check for unknown person, place and or thing)

brain” in the English Ordinal system equals 44

cancer” in the English Ordinal system equals 44

15 March 2021 Sugar

Hello to you, how are you ? I hope this finds you well. We are having beautiful weather right now and I am so grateful. I am hearing places like where my parents live and some of my friends are having a spring blizzard!

Well this morning I was asking for a topic and the one that came through above all the others was “Sugar.” Since my divorce and all that has been going on in my life, I have gained a lot of weight. A big part of of the weight gain is I have been seeking comfort in food. I have had a lifelong addiction to sugar. Sugar has always been a big part of my diet in whatever form I can get it. Sometimes it’s natural sugar and most other times it’s cookies, candy and things that I drink. My particular Biome, little earth inside my gut, just seems to run on the stuff . If I don’t get enough of it, I act like someone who is in withdrawal from another addictive substances.

It seems like if I am not addicted to one thing it’s something else. I want to claim victory over addictive substances and can’t entirely do it on my own!

Just this morning I was listening to a recent teaching by Joyce Meyer. She brings up a good point that what we think about gains power. So in order to have victory over sugar I need to talk to myself and be in prayer with God like I already do have victory over it. This Is a lesson I have been taught time and time again and I just need to put forth the effort to show I have learned it. Today I have to go the grocery store and I will be tempted! I will need to put on my holy armor!

Ephesians 6:10-18

The Armor of God

10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11 Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. 12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 13 Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14 Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15 and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16 In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17 Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. 18 And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people.

Psalm 17: Keep me as the apple of your eye; hide me in the shadow of your wings – thinking of my Grandma saying to me when I visited her one time that I was the apple of her eye!

sugar” in the English Ordinal system equals 66 (all vices in check but one TWICE so an entire self submitting to addiction)

16 May 2020 Making it another day

Hello to you.  How are you doing today? I’m finding myself in a better place this morning.  I feel grateful to be making it to another day in the circumstances I find myself in.   I am trying to remain grateful.

Last night I had another battle with anxiety.  What happens is I start thinking too far ahead or ruminating on all the uncertainties in front of me and things I can’t control.  Then I start to get that extremely uncomfortable anxious feeling in my gut.   Relief has come from physical exertion and doing normal things.  I am having to relearn what normal things are for myself right now.  I find there are a lot of things I used to do that I just can’t bring myself to do right now.

I really feel like  I am really having a test in my life right now with the concept of mindfulness.  That concept of staying in the present moment.

I am having to ask myself internally a lot, “what can you do about it and if the answer is nothing right now why are you dwelling on it?”  Something my husband used to do for me and now I’m having to do for myself is to remind myself that worrying about things doesn’t do any good.  It’s usually easier said than done he’s right.

The pandemic is still here in Texas but they have really started to lift restrictions so places can open back up.  I went to get groceries yesterday at our local Brookshire’s and some of the shelves were cleared out!  One of the biggest areas that was cleared was the aisle with cleaning supplies – nothing but concentrated Clorox for example.  I can tell they are having trouble keeping some things stocked up right now.  I’m just grateful to be able to get the basics right now.

Well I hope however this blog finds you that you are well.  Everybody is telling me that I’m strong and that I will get through all that’s going on.  I’m just learning to take a few steps at a time and having a lot of faith.

 

3 May 2020 The Little Things – morning coffee

Hello to you in your today.  It’s Sunday as I write to you and I am blessed to have a cup of coffee beside me, power to run this computer, Link asleep yet in the bed and my health.  My mini gratitude list!  The little things are mostly what makes up the average life if  you really take a look.  All those minor things that when you are in a different situation, you find yourself missing and when they are back in your life you find yourself so grateful.

Quote: Steve Aitchison internet

When I was at JPS, they had morning coffee and what a spectacle that was!  Talk about a reason to get out of bed!  We practically ran down to the coffee cart and then each person had their, what I refer to as, the “dark morning ritual.”  I call it a dark ritual not just because coffee is dark but if you mess with people, sometimes even speak to them, before they have completed their individual process, they can get so fussy!  Each person had their own process and it usually meant quite a mess for the cleaning people or one of us.  Powdered creamer and the variations of sugar got all over the place as each person frantically, in some cases, opened the packages of creamer and sugars.  Some people used ALOT of artificial sugars for their mix!

My thanks to the coffee maker, which changed from morning to morning, was often profuse.   One morning I even had tears in my eyes when I said it to Cole.  Cole was one of those who actually had the formula down to perfection on making the coffee lol!  It’s the little things that can make a time that seems almost unbearable….well bearable.   Sometimes routines are not just routines to those on the receiving end.

When you look at your life as it is, what is it that you are grateful for?  There has to be at least one thing.  When I find my life has taken a turn I’m not comfortable with, asking myself that question helps bring me back around.

morning coffee:

morning coffee” in the English Ordinal system equals 130 – a peace

one three zero” in the English Ordinal system equals 154 – a love

one five four” in the English Ordinal system equals 136 – a child

one three six” in the English Ordinal system equals 142 – a self

one four two” in the English Ordinal system equals 152 – a earth

one five two” in the English Ordinal system equals 134 – a one

I requested to listen to this song a lot when we had recreation time.  I like the video attached to it for a time called The Adventures of Jasper Morello.

 

I hope you have a wonderful Sunday and that you find yourself grateful for at least one thing – even if it’s just waking up today.