Tell us about the last thing you got excited about.
Hello to you. How are you today? I’m feeling tired. I got up several times in the night again and this was without taking the new medications. I’m so tired of this struggle with getting the right medications!
I can’t really remember the last time I was excited about something. Excitement for me really translates to gratitude for me. The last time I was really grateful was when I purchased this house. Getting it how and when I did was definitely a God thing.
Going and getting Link from my friend Erin 8 years ago was a time of excitement!
Psalm 37:4New International Version
4 Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.
Hello to you. I’m just back from the Thursday prayer meeting and getting groceries. We had Savanah, Pastor Jason’s daughter with us which was really nice. Apparently her school day started with the school smelling like gasoline! Jeannie was able to come again – she’s so sweet.
Last night I drew a couple pictures. They aren’t my best work but just what I had come through to draw:
Not sure what’s going on with this one Door in the sky of spirits – open For the first time in awhile I just picked up my drawing pad and pen
So where does my name come from? My name was from Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis. She was many years before I was born but still an inspiration to my parents I guess!
Matthew 16:13-20New International Version
Peter Declares That Jesus Is the Messiah
13 When Jesus came to the region of Caesarea Philippi, he asked his disciples, “Who do people say the Son of Man is?”
14 They replied, “Some say John the Baptist;others say Elijah; and still others, Jeremiah or one of the prophets.”
15 “But what about you?” he asked. “Who do you say I am?”
16 Simon Peter answered, “You are the Messiah, the Son of the living God.”
Hello to you. How are you? I’m doing ok but tired.
What I enjoy most about writing is it’s been with me nearly my whole life. Like an old friend. We’ve gone through poetry and short story phases, traveling phases and just ordinary life phases. I started writing at a very young age. I have a trunk full of my written accounts of my life and those I have shared life with. It’s a time capsule of family history even through two divorces. I kind of stopped keeping written diaries in 2015. My trunk is full and it’s heavy! I have contemplated throwing it out several times but decided against it. May be some day someone will want them.
Psalm 103:1-5New International Version
Psalm 103
Of David.
1 Praise the Lord, my soul; all my inmost being, praise his holy name. 2 Praise the Lord, my soul, and forget not all his benefits— 3 who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases, 4 who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion, 5 who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.
Hello to you. How are you ? I hope this finds you well. I am doing ok. I had my first dose of Ambien last night and it didn’t interfere with my sleep which was a good thing. It sometimes takes awhile to see what different medicines will do.
The positive emotion I feel the most is gratitude. I’m so grateful to God, the people and animals that are in my life. So much of how my life is right now is thanks to God. My life is manageable and not more than I can handle.
“ the attitude of gratitude turns a frown upside down”
Psalm 107:1-3New International Version
Psalm 107
1 Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love endures forever.
2 Let the redeemed of the Lord tell their story— those he redeemed from the hand of the foe, 3 those he gathered from the lands, from east and west, from north and south.[a]
Ephesians 5:18-20New International Version
18 Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit,19 speaking to one another with psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit. Sing and make music from your heart to the Lord, 20 always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.
Hello there, how are you? I’m doing ok. The pest control people came out this morning and took care of a large wasp nest. I feel kind of bad but more than likely they were they were the ones trying to build a nest in my weed wacker – the ones that stung me. My hand is still itchy and swollen!
The new medication, Ambien, showed up today. It will be interesting to see how my body reacts to it. It’s another bed time medication. Hopefully it won’t interfere with my getting and staying asleep.
So how do I plan my goals? I used to be much more organized and a planner – a worry wart. Now bring retired and Bipolar 1 so long I hardly plan at all! The best thing for me is my calendar. I keep organized and am able to have short term goals using it.
Jeremiah 29:11New International Version
11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Hello to you. How are you? I’m doing ok. Todays prompt is thought provoking for me as it’s rare that I am at perfect peace – relaxed. It feels like I’m always thinking and worrying about “what’s next.” Sometimes food gives me peace, sometimes it’s the company of someone, sometimes my spirituality gives me peace. It’s not a consistent thing. Last year, before the episode that landed me in the the hospital, what gave me peace was long walks in nature and praying for everybody next to the water canals down the street before they tore everything up.
Some of the beauty that existed next to the water canals. A drawing I did in honor of Sam our cocker spaniel – how I imagined he looked as a human in heaven. I’m sure he will be one of the first angels I see when it’s my time and he’ll be a dog. I have had several dreams about him since he passed and he always looks so healthy as a dog. I was at peace when he was here with us.
What used to give me peace was creativity – drawing, singing, painting both on canvas and on t- shirts and making jewelry. What happened is I became self conscious. I realized everything I was doing had an environmental impact – especially our water. It takes water to make the paints and water to use the paints. I started paying attention to where my supplies were coming from like metals I was using for my wire jewelry – Pakistan! Hardly anything from the USA. There was a hefty price for my fleeting peace. I haven’t been doing any of it.
I tried to draw in chalk here but it just wasn’t the same as having the privacy of my backyard.
John 14:27New International Version
27 Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
What is the most important thing to carry with you all the time?
Hello to you. How are you doing on this sunny hot day? It’s 88 degrees here right now as I write to you. Link and I are on the porch getting some vitamin D. Had trouble getting to sleep and staying asleep again last night so I checked for a movie to watch and Amazon Prime had the movie Megan. That movie about a little girl robot gone rogue. Another movie warning us about what is possible with the direction we are headed with robotics and AI. A lot of messages woven through it about raising children too. How many overworked parents have turned the care of their children to video games, television and smart phones?!
This movie made me think of movies like AI, Prometheus, Humans and Blade Runner. What if in all this that we are doing the quantum computers and robots develop consciousness and can’t be turned off? What if they decide to hate their makers? We will have to vote with our pocketbooks and not get sucked in to the hype. Once these cats are out of the bag there will be no way to stop it – kind of like people not wanting to part with their cars and guns. People develop emotional attachment – the Humans show did a good job of illustrating that with William Hurts character and his ailing robot. He didn’t want to replace him because he had so many memories stored inside of him….like our smart phones!
William Hurt as George Millican(series 1), a retired artificial intelligence researcher and widower who suffers memory loss and physical disabilities secondary to a stroke. He forms a special bond with his outdated caregiver synth named Odi.
Todays prompt is tough for me as other than my phone most of the time there isn’t anything I carry with me all the time. Sometimes I will carry a crystal in my pocket but that isn’t very often as I’m afraid I will forget it and it will end up in the laundry! I like having Link with me most everywhere but he can’t be everywhere with me because he is a spoiled child lol!
1 I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry. 2 He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. 3 He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear the Lord and put their trust in him.
What change, big or small, would you like your blog to make in the world?
Hello to you. How are you? I’m just off of a video conference with my medicine doctor. We are doing some changes to accommodate for sleep and weight gain. He thinks we need to switch out the olanzapine for Haldol and he wants to add Ambien as needed at night for sleep. I keep waking up in the night. Last night it was 11, 1 and 4 am! We are still seeking the right combination.
What kind of influence do I hope for by doing this blog? My hope has always been that if I reach and help at least one person – even if it’s just me – then I have accomplished my mission! There are a lot of people in the world like me that feel alone and bereft of any kind of support. Look at what Sinead O’Connor went through while she was alive? !! Then she dies mysteriously and the world all the suddenly cares! Her story is an all too common one for people diagnosed with mental illness. Love and try to understand – be empathetic and compassionate while the person is here among the living! Don’t wait til they are gone. In many cases too soon!
1 Peter 5:7New International Version
7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.
Hello to you. How are you? I’m just back from my weekly prayer group and getting my blood drawn to check my Depakote levels. It was nice to be able to just drive up the road to get the blood work done instead of going all the way to Boise. Looking forward to this afternoon and helping out with a hotdog event for the church at Middle Creek Elementary School. I will be helping to serve the hot dogs.
Todays prompt provokes thoughts of a lot of “what if’s.” What if my birth mother had not taken her life- would I even be writing to you right now? I would not have met my stepmother and all her family. I wouldn’t of probably been as close to my Grandparents. Would I have ever been in the Mental Health system at all? So much of an alternate universe for me depends on the very beginning of my life and the subsequent choices I made growing up. In an alternate universe I’m pretty sure I would of had at least one child. I would probably still be married because I wouldn’t have the Bipolar diagnosis going on or if I did it would be under control.
I envision alternate universe where there would be no hunger, no poverty, clean affordable food and water for everyone, affordable shelter, clean affordable and sustainable energy to meet all our needs, flying cars with auto pilot functions, everyone would be healthier but if you did get sick, you would have access to affordable and trustworthy medical care. I think of so many science fiction movies and television shows that have healing chambers or hand held healing devices. In an alternate universe where the needs of the people were put before arms and war making – life would be great! I feel like we should be much further along in our development as a country – as a world.
Where is the Med-Bay from the movie Elysian? Medical tricoder from Star Trek Next Generation
I still have hope in living to see the world I envision manifest into reality! Jesus was the divine physician.
Matthew 8:1-4New International Version
Jesus Heals a Man With Leprosy
8 When Jesus came down from the mountainside, large crowds followed him. 2 A man with leprosy[a] came and knelt before him and said, “Lord, if you are willing, you can make me clean.”
3 Jesus reached out his hand and touched the man. “I am willing,” he said. “Be clean!”Immediately he was cleansed of his leprosy.4 Then Jesus said to him, “See that you don’t tell anyone. But go, show yourself to the priest and offer the gift Moses commanded, as a testimony to them.”
Hello to you. How has your weekend been? I’m just back from church. We spent some time I psalm 139. The pervading message is God knows everything about us from beginning to end. Pastor Jayson talked a little bit about why so bad things happen and part of it is the sin that is in our world and part of it is what we do with our bad experiences after they happen. In many cases we are given the opportunity to help others who are going through or about to go through similar circumstances. Such has been the case for me. In my brokenness I have been made a stronger person in many ways and I know my boundaries better. I have a long resume of bad things I’ve been through! When most anyone going through a hard time, with the exception of parenting, approaches me I have empathy and some experience to share. Oh and praise God more rain today!
Changing gears:
The sacred space in the dream kind of looked like this only the space was surrounded by pitch black.
Before bed last night I asked God to show me the truth about him. I wanted and asked for a dream that I would remember. It’s been a long time since having a memorable dream. Well I fell asleep and dreamt I was looking at an altar like space in the dark. There were decorations and symbols made out of what looked like plastic. It almost looked like a wedding altar – everything was white and gold. It felt like a sacred space and I said that before walking in to it. I was self aware in the dream – almost like a lucid dream. When I walked into the space I got chills all over my body – the hairs stood up. Then I immediately felt this pulling sensation that frightened me – like an unseen force was touching me and I screamed “Don’t touch me! Don’t touch me! No!” I scared Link screaming myself awake. I guess I got scared because I was being touched by an unseen energy like some scary dreams I’ve had before. What was being shown to me? Was it something to be so afraid of? I will keep asking God for clarification and try not to be afraid!
Psalm 139 – the only bad part of this psalm is about hating those who hate God. I don’t hate anyone!
For the director of music. Of David. A psalm.
1 You have searched me, Lord, and you know me. 2 You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. 3 You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. 4 Before a word is on my tongue you, Lord, know it completely. 5 You hem me in behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me. 6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain.
7 Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? 8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. 9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, 10 even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast. 11 If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,” 12 even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you.
13 For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. 14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. 15 My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. 16 Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. 17 How precious to me are your thoughts,[a] God! How vast is the sum of them! 18 Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand— when I awake, I am still with you.
19 If only you, God, would slay the wicked! Away from me, you who are bloodthirsty! 20 They speak of you with evil intent; your adversaries misuse your name. 21 Do I not hate those who hate you, Lord, and abhor those who are in rebellion against you? 22 I have nothing but hatred for them; I count them my enemies. 23 Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. 24 See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.
To be 