Hello to you. How are you? I’m doing ok but tired.
What I enjoy most about writing is it’s been with me nearly my whole life. Like an old friend. We’ve gone through poetry and short story phases, traveling phases and just ordinary life phases. I started writing at a very young age. I have a trunk full of my written accounts of my life and those I have shared life with. It’s a time capsule of family history even through two divorces. I kind of stopped keeping written diaries in 2015. My trunk is full and it’s heavy! I have contemplated throwing it out several times but decided against it. May be some day someone will want them.
Psalm 103:1-5New International Version
Psalm 103
Of David.
1 Praise the Lord, my soul; all my inmost being, praise his holy name. 2 Praise the Lord, my soul, and forget not all his benefits— 3 who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases, 4 who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion, 5 who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.
Hello to you. How are you ? I hope this finds you well. I am doing ok. I had my first dose of Ambien last night and it didn’t interfere with my sleep which was a good thing. It sometimes takes awhile to see what different medicines will do.
The positive emotion I feel the most is gratitude. I’m so grateful to God, the people and animals that are in my life. So much of how my life is right now is thanks to God. My life is manageable and not more than I can handle.
“ the attitude of gratitude turns a frown upside down”
Psalm 107:1-3New International Version
Psalm 107
1 Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love endures forever.
2 Let the redeemed of the Lord tell their story— those he redeemed from the hand of the foe, 3 those he gathered from the lands, from east and west, from north and south.[a]
Ephesians 5:18-20New International Version
18 Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit,19 speaking to one another with psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit. Sing and make music from your heart to the Lord, 20 always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.
Hello there, how are you? I’m doing ok. The pest control people came out this morning and took care of a large wasp nest. I feel kind of bad but more than likely they were they were the ones trying to build a nest in my weed wacker – the ones that stung me. My hand is still itchy and swollen!
The new medication, Ambien, showed up today. It will be interesting to see how my body reacts to it. It’s another bed time medication. Hopefully it won’t interfere with my getting and staying asleep.
So how do I plan my goals? I used to be much more organized and a planner – a worry wart. Now bring retired and Bipolar 1 so long I hardly plan at all! The best thing for me is my calendar. I keep organized and am able to have short term goals using it.
Jeremiah 29:11New International Version
11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Hello to you. How are you? I’m doing ok. Todays prompt is thought provoking for me as it’s rare that I am at perfect peace – relaxed. It feels like I’m always thinking and worrying about “what’s next.” Sometimes food gives me peace, sometimes it’s the company of someone, sometimes my spirituality gives me peace. It’s not a consistent thing. Last year, before the episode that landed me in the the hospital, what gave me peace was long walks in nature and praying for everybody next to the water canals down the street before they tore everything up.
Some of the beauty that existed next to the water canals. A drawing I did in honor of Sam our cocker spaniel – how I imagined he looked as a human in heaven. I’m sure he will be one of the first angels I see when it’s my time and he’ll be a dog. I have had several dreams about him since he passed and he always looks so healthy as a dog. I was at peace when he was here with us.
What used to give me peace was creativity – drawing, singing, painting both on canvas and on t- shirts and making jewelry. What happened is I became self conscious. I realized everything I was doing had an environmental impact – especially our water. It takes water to make the paints and water to use the paints. I started paying attention to where my supplies were coming from like metals I was using for my wire jewelry – Pakistan! Hardly anything from the USA. There was a hefty price for my fleeting peace. I haven’t been doing any of it.
I tried to draw in chalk here but it just wasn’t the same as having the privacy of my backyard.
John 14:27New International Version
27 Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
What is the most important thing to carry with you all the time?
Hello to you. How are you doing on this sunny hot day? It’s 88 degrees here right now as I write to you. Link and I are on the porch getting some vitamin D. Had trouble getting to sleep and staying asleep again last night so I checked for a movie to watch and Amazon Prime had the movie Megan. That movie about a little girl robot gone rogue. Another movie warning us about what is possible with the direction we are headed with robotics and AI. A lot of messages woven through it about raising children too. How many overworked parents have turned the care of their children to video games, television and smart phones?!
This movie made me think of movies like AI, Prometheus, Humans and Blade Runner. What if in all this that we are doing the quantum computers and robots develop consciousness and can’t be turned off? What if they decide to hate their makers? We will have to vote with our pocketbooks and not get sucked in to the hype. Once these cats are out of the bag there will be no way to stop it – kind of like people not wanting to part with their cars and guns. People develop emotional attachment – the Humans show did a good job of illustrating that with William Hurts character and his ailing robot. He didn’t want to replace him because he had so many memories stored inside of him….like our smart phones!
William Hurt as George Millican(series 1), a retired artificial intelligence researcher and widower who suffers memory loss and physical disabilities secondary to a stroke. He forms a special bond with his outdated caregiver synth named Odi.
Todays prompt is tough for me as other than my phone most of the time there isn’t anything I carry with me all the time. Sometimes I will carry a crystal in my pocket but that isn’t very often as I’m afraid I will forget it and it will end up in the laundry! I like having Link with me most everywhere but he can’t be everywhere with me because he is a spoiled child lol!
1 I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry. 2 He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. 3 He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear the Lord and put their trust in him.
What change, big or small, would you like your blog to make in the world?
Hello to you. How are you? I’m just off of a video conference with my medicine doctor. We are doing some changes to accommodate for sleep and weight gain. He thinks we need to switch out the olanzapine for Haldol and he wants to add Ambien as needed at night for sleep. I keep waking up in the night. Last night it was 11, 1 and 4 am! We are still seeking the right combination.
What kind of influence do I hope for by doing this blog? My hope has always been that if I reach and help at least one person – even if it’s just me – then I have accomplished my mission! There are a lot of people in the world like me that feel alone and bereft of any kind of support. Look at what Sinead O’Connor went through while she was alive? !! Then she dies mysteriously and the world all the suddenly cares! Her story is an all too common one for people diagnosed with mental illness. Love and try to understand – be empathetic and compassionate while the person is here among the living! Don’t wait til they are gone. In many cases too soon!
1 Peter 5:7New International Version
7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.
Hello to you. How are you? I’m just back from my weekly prayer group and getting my blood drawn to check my Depakote levels. It was nice to be able to just drive up the road to get the blood work done instead of going all the way to Boise. Looking forward to this afternoon and helping out with a hotdog event for the church at Middle Creek Elementary School. I will be helping to serve the hot dogs.
Todays prompt provokes thoughts of a lot of “what if’s.” What if my birth mother had not taken her life- would I even be writing to you right now? I would not have met my stepmother and all her family. I wouldn’t of probably been as close to my Grandparents. Would I have ever been in the Mental Health system at all? So much of an alternate universe for me depends on the very beginning of my life and the subsequent choices I made growing up. In an alternate universe I’m pretty sure I would of had at least one child. I would probably still be married because I wouldn’t have the Bipolar diagnosis going on or if I did it would be under control.
I envision alternate universe where there would be no hunger, no poverty, clean affordable food and water for everyone, affordable shelter, clean affordable and sustainable energy to meet all our needs, flying cars with auto pilot functions, everyone would be healthier but if you did get sick, you would have access to affordable and trustworthy medical care. I think of so many science fiction movies and television shows that have healing chambers or hand held healing devices. In an alternate universe where the needs of the people were put before arms and war making – life would be great! I feel like we should be much further along in our development as a country – as a world.
Where is the Med-Bay from the movie Elysian? Medical tricoder from Star Trek Next Generation
I still have hope in living to see the world I envision manifest into reality! Jesus was the divine physician.
Matthew 8:1-4New International Version
Jesus Heals a Man With Leprosy
8 When Jesus came down from the mountainside, large crowds followed him. 2 A man with leprosy[a] came and knelt before him and said, “Lord, if you are willing, you can make me clean.”
3 Jesus reached out his hand and touched the man. “I am willing,” he said. “Be clean!”Immediately he was cleansed of his leprosy.4 Then Jesus said to him, “See that you don’t tell anyone. But go, show yourself to the priest and offer the gift Moses commanded, as a testimony to them.”
Hello to you. How has your weekend been? I’m just back from church. We spent some time I psalm 139. The pervading message is God knows everything about us from beginning to end. Pastor Jayson talked a little bit about why so bad things happen and part of it is the sin that is in our world and part of it is what we do with our bad experiences after they happen. In many cases we are given the opportunity to help others who are going through or about to go through similar circumstances. Such has been the case for me. In my brokenness I have been made a stronger person in many ways and I know my boundaries better. I have a long resume of bad things I’ve been through! When most anyone going through a hard time, with the exception of parenting, approaches me I have empathy and some experience to share. Oh and praise God more rain today!
Changing gears:
The sacred space in the dream kind of looked like this only the space was surrounded by pitch black.
Before bed last night I asked God to show me the truth about him. I wanted and asked for a dream that I would remember. It’s been a long time since having a memorable dream. Well I fell asleep and dreamt I was looking at an altar like space in the dark. There were decorations and symbols made out of what looked like plastic. It almost looked like a wedding altar – everything was white and gold. It felt like a sacred space and I said that before walking in to it. I was self aware in the dream – almost like a lucid dream. When I walked into the space I got chills all over my body – the hairs stood up. Then I immediately felt this pulling sensation that frightened me – like an unseen force was touching me and I screamed “Don’t touch me! Don’t touch me! No!” I scared Link screaming myself awake. I guess I got scared because I was being touched by an unseen energy like some scary dreams I’ve had before. What was being shown to me? Was it something to be so afraid of? I will keep asking God for clarification and try not to be afraid!
Psalm 139 – the only bad part of this psalm is about hating those who hate God. I don’t hate anyone!
For the director of music. Of David. A psalm.
1 You have searched me, Lord, and you know me. 2 You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. 3 You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. 4 Before a word is on my tongue you, Lord, know it completely. 5 You hem me in behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me. 6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain.
7 Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? 8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. 9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, 10 even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast. 11 If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,” 12 even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you.
13 For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. 14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. 15 My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. 16 Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. 17 How precious to me are your thoughts,[a] God! How vast is the sum of them! 18 Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand— when I awake, I am still with you.
19 If only you, God, would slay the wicked! Away from me, you who are bloodthirsty! 20 They speak of you with evil intent; your adversaries misuse your name. 21 Do I not hate those who hate you, Lord, and abhor those who are in rebellion against you? 22 I have nothing but hatred for them; I count them my enemies. 23 Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. 24 See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.
Hello to you. How are you? I’m feeling pretty good – got some sleep last night and there were even dreams I don’t remember. Yesterday I got two walks in – forced myself to go. It’s so easy to say I’ll do it later! With the medication I’m on it’s easy to put weight on and almost impossible to take it off. Next Monday I will be doing a chair yoga class through the VA. Hopefully the start of a positive new habit! Just got to keep moving!
Every time I see a sunflower I think of my ex. We were walking and at a stop sign there was a sun flower and he noticed it. “Stop and See” pay attention to the beauty around you. I stopped on my walk last night to see these beauties.
What am I curious about? A little bit of everything! I enjoy seeing what science gets up to. Lately in the headlines there has been a lot of discussion around a claim coming out of South Korea in regards to super conductors: Superconductivity is a set of physical properties observed in certain materials where electrical resistance vanishes and magnetic flux fields are expelled from the material. Any material exhibiting these properties is a superconductor. Wikipedia Watching a piece of metal hover and move like a UFO is really intriguing. There were several headlines about this the past couple of days which leads me to believe it’s connected to what we are hearing about reversed engineering in extraterrestrial technology. The timing of this release doesn’t seem coincidental to me. I feel like we are being prepared for a bigger story and are being fed bite size portions like infants. You have to be paying attention. If this technology is valid and peer reviewed we could see flying cars and other changes to the power grid very soon. I think the work Of Nikola Tesla is finally getting proven – about free energy being everywhere – ambient energy is a tangible thing – just how to harness it without adverse consequences in the quantities we need it in.
STATE-OF-ART MATERIAL (excerpt go to link for full article)
A superconductor can levitate in a magnetic field and conduct electricity with zero resistance, thus having no loss of energy – a conventional conductor gets hot because it has resistance and generates heat.
It is touted as a state-of-art material that can speed up connections between computer chips, strengthen the electromagnetic field for magnetic resonance imaging (MRI) scanners and provide higher efficiency to power grids and maglev railways. However, the cryogenic environment has been a major obstacle to commercializing the material.
It was in 1911 when the world’s first superconductivity was discovered by Dutch researcher and Nobel laureate Heike Kamerlingh-Onnes at 4.2 Kelvin, which is -452.1 Fahrenheit or -269 degrees Celsius. Today, a high-temperature superconductor is discovered above 77 Kelvin, -321.1 Fahrenheit or -196.2 degrees Celsius.
There have been many trials to prove room-temperature superconductors. In 2020, a research team led by Ranga Dias, assistant professor of the mechanical engineering department at University of Rochester, claimed they had found superconductivity at 287 Kelvin, 56.9 Fahrenheit or 13.9 degrees Celsius. But the team’s paper was retracted by the prominent magazine Nature in 2022 due to low confidence in the scientific results.
I think science is interesting but I believe it’s a bottom line quest to explain our existence. Science is like a religion – a quest for God – to be God. I could be wrong but that’s how it’s always seemed to me. The quest for the Why of every tiny detail of existence. I was watching some videos about the CERN Haldron Collider last night and it’s pretty scary what they are doing! https://youtu.be/6IH012umOjQ – CERN Scientists Claim They Have Opened a Portal to Another Dimension. In the absence of a tangible God, science through numbers and equations seeks to explain what just generates more questions and it seems like a competition to see who’s smarter! I wonder if the field of science is almost just a way for smart people not to be bored. If you look at nature there are so many answers to the Why and What of God! Just this spring and all the flowers filled me with wonder and joy. It’s seems that is too simple for a scientist. They need microscope’s and Petri dishes, charts and grafts, tiny particles and multiverses!
When I was having some of my episodes every question had more than one answer – it was exhausting! I would sit in my closet going round and round for hours. I imagine if I had been in a lab such an occurrence would be exhilarating but it wasn’t. If you have ever seen the Dr. Who episode with the Editor – it was like being one of those people receiving all the information through my third eye (the space between the eyebrows) I was thinking so much that area hurt! Only God, the energy that is at the center of all creation, knows how all the pieces fit together. It’s too much for any one person to know!
So anyways I am curious about a lot of things. It will be interesting to see if this discovery out of South Korea pans out. We really could benefit as a world – much more quickly.
I’m also curious about passages like this in the Bible. When I read it it makes me wonder what exactly they were seeing. It makes me think of people trying to describe UFO/UAP encounters! Sometimes there aren’t words from our times to explain things. Think about what it must have been like for our earliest ancestors when they witnessed lightening and thunder:
Ezekiel 1:5-11New International Version
5 and in the fire was what looked like four living creatures. In appearance their form was human,6 but each of them had four faces and four wings. 7 Their legs were straight; their feet were like those of a calf and gleamed like burnished bronze. 8 Under their wings on their four sides they had human hands. All four of them had faces and wings, 9 and the wings of one touched the wings of another. Each one went straight ahead; they did not turn as they moved.
10 Their faces looked like this: Each of the four had the face of a human being, and on the right side each had the face of a lion, and on the left the face of an ox; each also had the face of an eagle. 11 Such were their faces. They each had two wings spreading out upward, each wing touching that of the creature on either side; and each had two other wings covering its body.
Write about a random act of kindness you’ve done for someone.
Hello to you. How are you? I’m feeling pretty good. I spoke with my doctor yesterday and we worked out a plan. I will be doubling my dose of Depakote (1000mg) and going back to 10 mg of the Olanzapine at night. I’m not going to be taking the Abilify. I will also have the olanzapine for as needed as sometimes that happens. I was grateful he called me back! It felt like an answered prayer as I was feeling pretty left out there. Prayer said out loud in a group really works fast!
I like todays prompt but I can’t remember specific times I’ve done it! It’s a combination of it being a long time since I’ve had a *mission and being taught not to toot your own horn! Don’t let your left hand know what your right hand is doing kind of thing. I’m sure I’ve done good things but I’m so in the moment I forget later what I’ve done. When I was younger and had more energy I used to do a lot more – my ex and I liked helping people together. On my own I can remember paying someone’s toll. When I was working with the homeless I can remember giving them a ride a couple times. I remember my ex telling me a couple stories. He helped a guy at a gas station with a ride and once he was at the video game store and the person in front of him was short a dollar. He paid the dollar. Well that very same day I was cutting the lawn guess what blew into the yard? A dollar bill!
*When I talk about a mission I’m talking about those times when I’ve spontaneously decided to go somewhere and it’s like a God thing. I’m exactly where and when I’m supposed to be there. It’s usually meeting someone who needs me or that person will have a message for me.
Matthew 6:3New International Version
3 But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing,
I was looking through my spiritual playlist on my YouTube channel and this was at the top. Dr. Emoto’s work with water is very inspiring:
To be 