drawing – Page 7

5 February 2022 Saturday

February 5, 2022 by saymber, posted in animals, Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, books, drawing, Food, Social media, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Check out 5 February 2022 Saturday morning chat https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1287928568

Hello how are you? I hope this finds you well on this Saturday. The weeks are going by so fast aren’t they?!

Last night was fun. My Aunt came over and picked me up. She wanted to go out to eat with me someplace. We drove to Star which is a few miles down the road and were just going to eat at Dairy Queen but found a place called The Rustic Table instead! It turned out to be a really nice sit down restaurant! We decided to make it an early birthday treat and order some nice things on the menu! She had Halibut and I had filet mignon. The meal came with yummy garlic mashed potatoes and coleslaw. For dessert we shared some chocolate cake. It was just really nice to get out of the house and experience a new place with my Aunt!

My Aunt and I made a nice memory last night

I got some sleep last night but I’m having to go through a lot of Hydroxyzine to do it. My body is treating it like Benadryl. I will get a couple hours of hard sleep and then I wake up. I’m feeling pretty good this morning so it’s worth it !

My stream this morning was pretty short. Just had one viewer and she she doesn’t talk much! I talked a little bit about s book I’m trying to read about Energy vampires by Dorothy Harbour. I read a little bit about the different types of vampires there are. For some this might be a new concept of energy exchanges in relationships.

3 February 2022 Battle

February 3, 2022 by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, drawing, Health, Mental Health, Social media, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Check out 3 February 2022 Thursday morning chat https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1285579428

Hello to you. How are you today? I’m just back from taking Link on a walk around the block. I streamed on Twitch for almost 2 hours today trying to work through the crap I’m dealing with. Last night I couldn’t sleep again. I keep getting anxious. I can tell people are getting tired of it – I have lost a couple followers. Don’t blame them. I’m sick of it too! I was feeling good and then I wasn’t! It’s becoming quite the battle to calm down and sleep. I went through a whole bunch of talking meditations on YouTube.

This is one I found that helped me a little bit with the panic I was feeling. She has a real soothing voice: https://youtu.be/pJWY3Bkkaew

I guess if I’m honest with myself I have always had problems with sleep just not the anxiety and panic part. This too shall pass. It always does. I don’t want to keep giving “this” power.

“Today I will recognize my pain if it comes, and I will take responsibility for my part in it. It will leave when I do my part and let my Higher Power do the rest.” (A Woman’s Spirit)

1 February 2022 Tuesday

February 1, 2022 by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, drawing, Health, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Social media, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Check out 1 February 2022 Tuesday morning chat https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1283369641

Hello to you. I hope this finds you well. It’s hard to believe it’s the first of the month already!

Had a good stream by myself this morning. The people that have been showing up weren’t there. In the daily meditation book I like to read from, A Woman’s Spirit, there was a good message for me to talk about. It was about what we do when chaos in its many forms shows up. We have a choice in these times. What I struggle with is going into panic mode when bad things happen. I feel powerless and not in control which is incredibly difficult for me. In these times it’s important to remember things happen in this life that we can’t control and it’s how we choose to go through those things that shapes the final outcome.

I can remember when my mom found out she had cancer and had to go through chemotherapy. She chose to go through all that with a positive attitude! She was such an inspiration the people at the hospital wanted her to speak to other patients! She made a conscious decision not to let the cancer crush her spirit – her will to live.

“Every person I meet today is in my life by design. What I give to or learn from others helps each of us to grow.” (A Woman’s Spirit)

30 January 2022 Feeling Like a Seat Warmer

January 30, 2022January 30, 2022 by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, drawing, Home, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Check out 30 January 2022 Sunday morning chat https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1281299640

Hello to you. How are you doing today? I hope we’ll. It’s Sunday and I woke up feeling pretty good so I decided to go to Grace Bible Circle in Middleton. I was feeling some anxiety after I got there but I found pressure points on my hands this morning that helped me out with that!

The messages today had to do with the revival of the church. Pastor Jason spoke specifically about the vision he and the church team have about that. How to minister to and reach more people. How this area is growing so much they may have to have more than one service. What they want to do with the office on Main Street. Even doing outreach to the kids that pass by from the high school! A sports program. Life groups and Bible study. He talked about so much! I found myself feeling really overwhelmed. There is so much need! Sometimes it’s all I can do to even show up much less commit to things. I also felt like a seat warmer. That’s what we used to call people in recovery that showed up to meetings but were not active in the fellowship.

Sometimes I feel like a bit of a fraud when I go to church. Like I’m not there for the right reasons. I’m not sure if I belong. A lot of it has to do with me not being comfortable going on my own. I’m surrounded by couples and families with children. Everybody seems to know each other.

I guess all I can do is the next right things as they present themself. For some reason I am going to this church! May be God will show me some way I can go beyond just warming a chair on Sunday.

29 January 2022 Saturday

January 29, 2022 by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, drawing, Health, history, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Money, Movies, Music, Social media, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Check out 29 January 2022 Saturday morning chat https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1280050945

Hello. How are you today? I hope good. I’m feeling pretty good. I got some sleep and that makes the world of difference!

First drawing in my new sketchbook today

The Twitch stream this morning was good. I got a chance to talk about some things I hadn’t talked about before. For example some of what was going on with media and my brain when I had all those manic episodes. How it’s really important to be mindful of what you feed your mind, body and spirit. When I was having manic episodes my brain didn’t differentiate between fantasy and reality. The two worlds merged and I was in the middle. I feel “content creators” in this world have a responsibility for what they put into this world. Over time, if we look, there has been a lot of trash packaged for consumption that may be should have just been left to being a thought, a dream…. a nightmare. There are people like me that have had psychotic breaks and start talking to things like television sets!

Another thing I talked about along the line of content creation is motive. As a content creator what is my motive for my creation? Is it to make a lot of money? Garner attention and fame? Influence people? Why am I doing it? For me personally it’s for several reasons. Making the videos and writing this blog is very therapeutic. It helps me not be lonely for a little while. It’s also my hope when I’m doing these things that somebody will get something out of it. That something will resonate with them and they will be able to use it to help themselves of somebody else. My motives are pure. I’m not looking for money or fame from doing what I do. Honestly I don’t think that is Gods plan for me. In the past when money has come into play with crafts and stuff I’m doing it has tainted it….the purity is lost. Bottom line is as a person putting “stuff” into the atmosphere people live in it’s important to check your motives at the door!

28 January 2022 Friday

January 28, 2022 by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, drawing, Health, Mental Health, Social media, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

I’m live on Twitch – Watch me at https://twitch.tv/jwygant

Hello how are you doing today? I’m kind of dragging a bit. Only got 2-3 hours of sleep last night. Guess I have to take what I can get!

“I can change only myself, but sometimes that is enough.” – Ruth Humlecker (A Woman’s Spirit)

As I sit here writing to you I am trying to keep myself together. Sometimes it’s hard. It’s good to have some sunshine – may be that will help!

Not one of my best but it gets the idea across! Need that sunshine!

25 January 2022 Feeling Better

January 25, 2022 by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, drawing, Health, Mental Health, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Check out 25 January 2022 Tuesday morning chat https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1275516113

Good morning from here. How are you? I hope your feeling well today. I’m finally starting to feel better after almost 4 weeks. The Hydroxyzine has been helping to take the edge off of the anxiety that has been accompanying whatever I’ve been going through. Another thing I have been doing is live streaming on Twitch and that has been helpful. Sometimes interesting people show up to visit with.

A lot has been trying to enter into my space lately

In a bit I have an eye appointment hopefully everything will check out ok . It’s been a couple years since I have been in for an exam. What’s nice is the clinic is within walking distance which will be good for me!

“These days are rolling like thunder….pulling me up and pulling me under. I seek the level horizon a warmth I can feel. A safe warm place where I can heal.”

24 January 2022 Monday

January 24, 2022January 24, 2022 by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, drawing, Mental Health, Music, Social media, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Check out 24 January 2022 Monday morning chat https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1274454103

Hello to you. How are you? I hope you are doing well. I’m just off stream in Twitch. I had a nice visit with a man from New Zealand today. It was nice talking about stuff I’m interested in like spirituality.

A message from A Woman’s Spirit today: People have always wanted to talk to me about their problems. I guess I’m a good listener. May be I have something to contribute after all. – JoAnn Reed

Have you had times in your life when people would just come up to you and start talking about their troubles? You just have that face. You just have that approachable way about you. My husband had a name for that – sin keepers. People that people go to to unload their problems….their sins on. They would usually feel better and he would feel like crap. It would happen to both of us. It’s important if you are a sin keeper that you have someone YOU can talk to too.

Check out New Track Monday! | !spotify !bandcamp https://www.twitch.tv/astravert

23 January 2022 Lingering

January 23, 2022 by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, drawing, Health, Mental Health, Social media, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

I’m live on Twitch – Watch me at https://twitch.tv/jwygant

Hello to you. How are you? It’s Sunday again and the skies are gray again. It was nice to get a little relief yesterday! I’m not feeling 100% this morning. I keep feeling nauseous. I took some Pepto Bismal, some peppermint tea and a piece of bread and things have settled down. My Aunt and I were trying to decide if we should go to church this morning and decided against it. There is so much crud going around ! I just feel like whatever I had is still lingering!

We are just living in surreal times aren’t we?!!

“Come spirit come my comforter in times of distress. Wrap your light and love around me that I might find rest.”

22 January 2022 Saturday

January 22, 2022 by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, drawing, Health, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Social media, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

I’m live on Twitch – Watch me at https://twitch.tv/jwygant

Hello to you. How are you? It’s another sunny morning and I’m digging it! This morning when I was doing my Twitch stream it felt so good on my face!

On the stream this morning I read from the Big Book and specifically Chapter 5 How It Works which is where you find the 12 Steps of the AA program. Being a part of AA not only helped me deal with alcohol but other addictions I was facing in my life. One of those addictions was shopping for jewelry – a very expensive habit! Another was compulsively picking at my skin. What I discovered with the programs help is I was doing things, using things to self medicate bigger underlying problems. Acknowledging I had become powerless over my own life was one of those important steps I took. For the blessing of recovery it’s important to continue to pay it forward!

I have a fair amount of traffic on my recorded streams which gives me the opportunity to help others while I’m helping myself. It’s been my experience that we don’t go through things for no reason be it good or not so good. When I stream when I’m having trouble it’s my hope that something about what I’m going through will help somebody else. It’s the same hope I’ve always had for my blog. I hope something I’m sharing will resonate. Something will be a message someone needs to hear in that moment. We are all messengers for someone!!

The past couple days I’ve been experiencing a lot of anxiety – just being uncomfortable in my body. One of the things I do to help myself now is I start a Twitch livestream and just walk and talk in my house. I used to have family and friends I would call and just go for a walk but I don’t really have that anymore. So I am having to soothe myself and using Twitch is helping me do that. It helps me with my chronic loneliness too. I’m not exactly sure what the trigger is for the anxiety but it kind of comes out of nowhere and just washed over me! I’m just glad I have a tool to help me feel better. Usually someone gets on after awhile and I have someone to visit with which helps too.