Tag: Bipolar life

28 Mar 2026 Reaching Out

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Health, Home, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs

Hello to you. I hope this finds you well. Today was good. I woke up with my usual problem – anxiety and I didn’t want to be alone. I reached out to my Aunt and she had Link and I come over. She helped me make a delicious cup of coffee and made me a toasted blueberry bagel. She gave me a much needed hug. She just knows what I need! Almost every day I have anxiety in the morning and instead of fighting my way through it today I reached out. I am so blessed to have an understanding Aunt and Uncle! At times I really don’t like living alone. Thank God for Link! Am I going to be alone for the rest of my life? Sometimes I think so! The dating scene for my age group is pretty dismal. I always said that if I couldn’t make my second marriage work that I was destined to be alone. There is a large void in my life not being married. I will just have to let God have the final word on this.

My blessings

Favorite song before bed: https://youtu.be/h9hILKB9qZQ?si=8gwxivXqomrWUX7j – Vangelis – Come to Me

John 16:33New International Version

33 “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

27 Mar 2026 Blooms

by saymber, posted in animals, Bipolar life, Health, human rights, In the News, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Nature, photography, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs

Hello to you. How are you doing? I hope well. Today is day three of taking the Oregano oil – no real change yet. I am in the supposed clean out phase but don’t feel it yet. My Aunt recommended my talking to my doctor about a drug called wegovy. It can help with weight loss. I’m not happy with the side effects I read about- it supposedly slows down digestion which could affect the effectiveness of Depakote I take for being Bipolar. I am pretty sure I would have to pay out of pocket for it too but can’t hurt to ask about it. When I was prescribed a multi vitamin and vitamin D3 through the VA and had to pay out of pocket for both of them.

During the walk today I noticed lots of flowers – especially dandelions. I learned a while back that dandelions are not weeds but natural medicine. Also the bees rely on dandelion as an early food source. I saw but couldn’t capture actual images of bees visiting the yellow flowers. I am grateful to my neighbors who just let them bloom and don’t spray poison on them.

Dear Jesus I pray for this world and all the life within it. May there be peace in the war ravaged regions. I pray especially for the innocent children in these places- shield them from harm. I pray for you to make your presence known – illuminate the dark places. Please be with those dealing with the destruction of their homes after natural and man made disasters. I pray you be with all those who are suffering from Alzheimer’s and dementia. I pray for your presence with the sick, healing, recovering and the poor. Please be with all animals that are suffering needlessly. Amen.

Romans 15:13New International Version

13 May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peaceas you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

26 Mar 2026 Parasites Within

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Food, Health, Home, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion

Hello there. It’s bed time as I write to you. How are you? This morning was my weekly prayer meeting. LOTS to pray about! I am hoping I will get a good sleep tonight. I am on my second day of taking Oil of Oregano with Black Seed Oil by Resilia. I am hoping it will help me with my bloating and sugar cravings. The reviews have been good so we shall see! I feel with certainty that I have parasites in my gut. After every meal my belly bloats up like I’m pregnant. I know part of the sugar cravings isn’t just parasites begging to be fed but is also the medication I’m on. Depakote and Olanzapine are known for causing weight gain. I am hoping the oregano oil will help me in spite of the medications.

I have been asking Jesus to heal me and I feel like he has been leading me down a path of possibilities to do just that. It’s been a struggle at times as I have gotten so out of shape. Becoming more active each day with Tai Chi and a longer walk each day and changes to what I’m putting in my body are all holistic approaches to healing. I just have to surrender and believe we are on the right path together.

A good prayer for these days we are in:

Prayer of St. Francis of Assisi (Prayer for Peace)

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace:
where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
where there is sadness, joy.
O divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console,
to be understood as to understand,
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive,
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

15 Mar 2026 When God Heals

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Leading Life by Example, Spirituality and Religion

Hello to you. It’s Sunday again. The weeks are flying by already. I’m just back from a family birthday party at my cousins house. Lots of good food and company. The men grilled burgers, hot dogs and elk burgers. The grandchildren always bring joy and laughter as does my Aunt Ruth. They even did an Easter egg hunt that the kids really enjoyed. It was good to see everybody.

Church was good. Roy was there in a wheel chair with his sister and brother-in-law. That is a miracle of Gods healing power! We had Bryant Strodt give the sermon out of Mark 5:25-34:

Mark 5:25-34New International Version

25 And a woman was there who had been subject to bleeding for twelve years. 26 She had suffered a great deal under the care of many doctors and had spent all she had, yet instead of getting better she grew worse.27 When she heard about Jesus, she came up behind him in the crowd and touched his cloak, 28 because she thought, “If I just touch his clothes, I will be healed.” 29 Immediately her bleeding stopped and she felt in her body that she was freed from her suffering.

30 At once Jesus realized that power had gone out from him. He turned around in the crowd and asked, “Who touched my clothes?”

31 “You see the people crowding against you,” his disciples answered, “and yet you can ask, ‘Who touched me?’ ”

32 But Jesus kept looking around to see who had done it. 33 Then the woman, knowing what had happened to her, came and fell at his feet and, trembling with fear, told him the whole truth. 34 He said to her, “Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from your suffering.”

https://youtu.be/Pvd7EswOdm4?si=sTf1DRbkrUYyq1v6 – When God Heals – Bryant Strodt

When God heals, it is to build our faith. When God doesn’t heal, he also uses it to build our faith.

I have been asking God to heal me for the past couple of years and he hasn’t yet. In his divine timing I have faith that he will heal me if he’s going to. I also have to accept that as we get older our cars (bodies) break down and don’t work like they used to. What I am praying for might be unreasonable! I may never be completely pain free.

12 Mar 2026 Focus

by saymber, posted in animals, Bipolar life, dreams, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion

Hello and good evening. I am writing to you to help quiet my brain before bed. I have been having good dreams since the one I told you about with sleep paralysis. This past day I dreamt about being with my ex and his brother. I really miss both of them and the in depth talks we used to have. We were good friends! The dream felt like a nice visit with them.

My thoughts tonight turn to the word focus. The context being of what I focus on gaining power in my life. I am currently focusing on losing weight and being more active. It’s going from just thinking to doing. This is a battle because of the fullness in my ears, balance and my lower back. I am hoping the Tai Chi, currently at a beginners level and walking, will gradually help me out with what is holding me back.

The other thing that holds me back in my life is my love for my dog Link. I hate leaving him alone for too long. He is going to be 12 this coming December! He’s a senior dog now and I don’t know how much longer we will have together. After him I don’t know if I will be able to have another pet. There are a lot of things I don’t do because of my responsibility as a pet owner. My little old man gets a lot of my focus.

What we focus on gains power – takes center stage of our lives. The past couple years I have been trying to put Jesus at the center but I will be honest it’s not been easy. I was a pagan for a long time. Prior to being a pagan I was a Roman Catholic for many years up until I left home. After the Catholic Church refused to acknowledge my first marriage I tried many other churches and just couldn’t find one I felt comfortable or accepted in. In the church I am currently attending, Grace Bible Church, I have found acceptance and fellowship but sometimes I feel like the chameleon tattooed on my shoulder. My ability to feel anything deeply has gone the way of my creativity. I want to feel Jesus’s love for me and sometimes I just don’t! I want to weep with the depths of his love and I just can’t. What used to come to me so easily has been reduced to this blog. I am so grateful to you who come to visit me here from all over the world which encourages me not to give up writing altogether!

Dear Jesus I come before you asking for you to heal me in my brokenness- physically, mentally and spiritually. Please show me you are present and that you love me. I ask that you make your presence known to all in this world that thirst for the living water only you can provide. Help me and others like me authentically be vessels of your spirit. Free me and others like me from the bondage of self. Amen.

10 Mar 2026 Sleep Paralysis and Shadow People

by saymber, posted in dreams, Movies, Spirituality and Religion

Hello to you. I’m about to try and fall asleep. I just finished watching Inferno starring Tom Hanks for free with ads on YouTube. It was pretty good.

https://youtu.be/7QpgXP1ElXA?si=4Xd66KY3q6Lgg9GC – Inferno starring Tom Hanks – free with ads

I am hoping to fall asleep and stay asleep til a reasonable time in the morning. Last night I was awakened by a sleep paralysis dream. I’ve been having them pretty often. This time I saw a shadow person and let it know I saw it. Then it came at me and was choking me. I could only cry out for my daddy and then it stopped. I chastised it for terrorizing me and my dog. I feel like it took place in my childhood home. The place seemed like a blend of worlds.

When I have these dreams I usually am in a place I know but it’s slightly different – like an alternate dimension. They are lucid dreams as I usually realize I’m dreaming and try to interact with what’s going on. I can only speak and the rest of my body can’t move. When I have these dreams Link gets upset!

Psalm 91:5-6

5 You will not fear the terror of night,
    nor the arrow that flies by day,
6 nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness,
    nor the plague that destroys at midday

2 Timothy 1:7New International Version

7 For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid,but gives us power, love and self-discipline

5 Mar 2026 World

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Home, human rights, In the News, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Politics and Government, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs

Hello and good evening to you. I tried going to sleep a couple hours ago but my mind just won’t be quiet! I should be used to this by now. So here I am writing to you. Today I went to Thursday prayer at Grace House which is always good. We had a lot to pray about! Pastor Jason’s daughter Harper is really having a hard time. So many people in our church are having health issues. Afterwards I went to the Sunrise. I wasn’t going to go but changed my mind. Going there is like home away from home for me now. I look forward to seeing and hearing Emma and her staff.

As I lay here in the quiet and dark my mind is thinking of the world. What is happening?!! It feels like everything is unraveling. I keep thinking of the children and the world they are inheriting. So many children are dying or are suffering in some way. My nightly prayers are for divine intervention. Our world leaders need to back up their nice words with action!

Dear Jesus I pray for this fragile blue dot we call home. Please be with all the children and most vulnerable – cover them with your love. Please give leaders at all levels of government and influence wisdom in their governance. May the Holy Spirit guide them in all their ways. Please be with those who care for the unhoused, poor and sick. Please protect all those who are in service and who serve others. Amen.

https://youtu.be/Zrxdgat3y9c?si=NtVKuWk8k4D12v3r – Lotus by Secret Garden

https://youtu.be/L6zulqXLPUw?si=chgcQrbs1IH8KLI8 – Hello from the children of planet earth

3 Mar 2026 Peace

by saymber, posted in history, human rights, In the News, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Politics and Government, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs

Hello to you. How are you doing in your corner of existence? Another day has passed and I got through it. I got a couple walks in and did a 9 minute Tai Chi exercise instructed by Don Fiore: https://youtu.be/ZxcNBejxlzs?si=Vfdsr0L8dnd-1fJH – 9 min session

Dear Jesus I pray for world peace in the midst of escalating global conflicts. Please guide our world leaders to peace and not war. I pray for the families who lost several school children in Iran. So many innocent souls needlessly taken. I pray for the service men and women who have died because of this conflict. Violence begets violence and you tried to teach us this lesson! I pray for all life on this fragile planet earth. Please be present with us in these dark days. Amen,

https://www.cbsnews.com/amp/news/names-us-service-members-killed-iran-war-kuwait/

27 Feb 2026 Holy Spirit – Surrender

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Health, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs

Hello to you. I went to bed with the intention of going to sleep but alas as soon as I turned off the light, my eyes popped open like one of those spooky antique dolls! This is normal for me. So where are my thoughts and why are they so loud?! They are on the Holy Spirit and surrender. The last time I surrendered to the Holy Spirit a bunch of really big things happened. I got sober and quit smoking which are really difficult things to deal with on your own.

I’m currently on a healing journey with the Holy Spirit and I can feel slight changes. I keep asking God to heal me of what afflicts me and I can tell that I am being lead on a path. The latest thing is Tai Chi. It’s everywhere I look online! I followed a beginners YouTube video today and could really feel it:https://youtu.be/cEvSqHZIj8w?si=_h8_XwBwlUTiJuhj – Tai Chi for beginners 7 min workout. My back didn’t hurt and I was able to get a mile walk in today. I want to get better and get back into shape. I’m tired of being overweight and without purpose.

Dear Jesus I thank you for this beautiful day. I am grateful for being allowed the privilege to get another chance to walk with you where I feel you are leading me. I pray for all my family and friends on this side of the veil. I pray for this entire planet and all the lives dependent on her well being. Thank you Lord. Amen.

26 Feb 2026 Favorite People

by saymber, posted in animals, Bipolar life, Health, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs

Who are your favorite people to be around?

Hello there. How are you doing today? I’m doing better. My back pain is gone for now. I’m trying something out in addition to walking each day. I’m trying Tai Chi movements. I’ve been seeing Tai Chi all over the place lately so last night I couldn’t sleep and I got up and did Tai Chi movements to a song called Lotus: https://youtu.be/Zrxdgat3y9c?si=D5hLG5XoqUVdIDoU and in those approximately 4 and a half minutes I felt better! I could feel the circulation moving in my body. I did it again today with similar results. I want to work up to more time but this is a good start. Tai Chi is very gentle on the body and feels like dancing to me. From what I’ve heard it’s good exercise for the back and may be help me lose weight! I am hoping doing it will help restore my balance also.

The prompt for today makes me think of the sunshine people in my life. The people who laugh easily. Give big hugs. Sing along with their favorite songs. Whistle. People who always seem to have a smile on their face even when things aren’t going so well in their lives. I like the company of people who have a sense of humor. I like being around kind people. I am blessed to have the people I’m describing as blood family, friends I’ve made through the years and my church family. I try to be one of these kind of people but as I’ve mentioned before, I have become a serious person as I’ve gotten older! I used to be a person that always “kept the lights on.” It’s easier to be around other people who do that also than being around serious people.

Dear Jesus I pray for everyone two legged and four. With skin, fur, feathers and scales. I pray especially for the countries and people experiencing war and upheaval in the world. I pray for leaders at all levels of government throughout this world – guide them to being peacemakers. I pray for all experiencing health issues that there would be restorative healing and comfort only found in you. Amen.