19 December 2021 Exchanging Stories

December 19, 2021December 19, 2021 by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, drawing, Home, In the News, Mental Health, Social media, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you! It’s Sunday morning as I write to you. I had to kick myself out of bed! It’s gray and no sunshine!! Booo!! I’m looking forward to seeing family today – we’ll make our own sunshine!!

Last night I had a good session on Twitch. I met a young man from the Philippines who had a cold and just wanted to chat. He mentioned that the southern part of his country was being ravaged by a super typhoon called Rai: https://www.accuweather.com/en/hurricane/super-typhoon-rai-hits-philippines-like-a-freight-train/1061450/amp he is fortunate to be living in the north! We swapped spooky stories. His was of being in his parents room and seeing feet in his sisters room. He didn’t investigate whose feet they were until he went downstairs and his whole family was there! When he went back up they were gone! A little later another person came on who is working towards being a psych nurse and I shared a bit of my story with him. I’ve been in the mental health system since 1991 so a person like me has a lot of stories! It was fun talking to them,

I decided to start a Discord channel after all. We will see how it goes. I’m not real savvy on how it works but giving it a try. A friend of mine asked me the other night what my goal with all this is and it’s pretty simple – to reach people who are going through stuff I’ve been through and help them not feel so alone in this world. There are 7.9 billion people on this planet and yet there are times it can feel like there is no one. Some of us slip through the cracks . I feel that way sometimes even though I have family and friends. Sometimes there are things you can’t talk about with just anyone. They don’t always understand. The other part of this journey I’m taking with Twitch is I love meeting new people and hearing their stories .

God has a plan in all that is happening in my life. I just have to keep taking the next steps!

I’m live on Twitch – Watch me at https://twitch.tv/jwygant

https://discord.gg/uG7wQJmx

17 December 2021 Remembering Where You Came From

December 17, 2021December 17, 2021 by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, drawing, Home, Mental Health, photography, Social media, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you – how are you? It’s morning as I write to you. The sun is out!! Yay!! The only bad thing is I can see how filthy my window is and I don’t have a ladder to reach it! I am left wondering how the people that sold me the house kept it so clean?! I’ll figure something out.

Yesterday I did some experimenting on my Twitch channel. I tried to take my viewers on a walk around my block but lost my WiFi signal shortly after I left my house. So that didn’t work. I was thinking of my parents when I did it as they haven’t seen where I live. I guess I would have to use something like a go pro and upload the video. Everything has its limitations.

On the stream last night something came to me. What came to me was to share my experience, strength and hope as if I were chairing an AA meeting. The holidays can be a very difficult time of year for folks that have addiction issues. I have experience with alcohol and food addiction. My experience with alcohol only lasted a couple of years but the anorexia and namely bulemia lasted into my thirties. I haven’t really talked about my journey with bulemia yet. It lasted such a long time!

Check out 16 December 2021 Evening visit https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1235501106

I bought some fabric paint online yesterday. I have several “blank” tshirts that I intend on painting. I want to explore having each one having a different variation of Metatrons cube. We will start with one and see how it goes. The thing with painting tshirts is I don’t have to find wall space for a painting – it’s wearable art. You wear it until it gets worn out.

This was a paint kit my friend gave me several months ago. Yesterday I finally got around to using it! What a cheerful message !

I wanted to show you the rock my friend gifted me with – she painted it herself and I think it’s so pretty!

15 December 2021 Attention Span

December 15, 2021December 15, 2021 by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, drawing, Social media, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you! How are you doing today? I’m just out of bed. I had trouble sleeping again last night. It’s becoming a new normal and I don’t like it! It’s gray and cold….where is our sunshine ?!!! Guess I will have to generate my own light today!!

This morning my thoughts turn to something I’ve noticed about me as I have been immersing myself into the world of the look and swipe. I’ve noticed my attention span has gotten really short. If you can’t get your point across or entertain me quickly I’m already moved on to the next thing. I haven’t had the presence of mind to read a book in months. It just takes more concentration than I seem to be able to muster right now. There is a part of me that is hoping for positive change to come into my life so that I’m not so dependent on external devices.

Link and I are so tiny in the scheme of things. What is our part?

“Gears turning as worlds are burning. Rise and fall the big and small. Into the spiral we come and go. Faster and faster is the flow. Where we go next no one can know. Shine future children shine gradually all things will align.”

I’m live on Twitch – Watch me at https://twitch.tv/jwygant

14 December 2021 Sum of the Parts

December 14, 2021December 14, 2021 by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, history, Home, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Social media, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you! How are you ? It’s a snowy, wet and gray morning. Had to listen to some Heilung this morning to get things started. I like to harmonize and play my drum with groups like them. No words, just sounds. Now I’m sitting here calm with my coffee. My friend texted me about coming to visit today ! I’m looking forward to seeing her!

Last nights Twitch stream was interesting . We talked a little bit about tattoos and I didn’t know this but there is a passage in the Bible that says you shouldn’t do it ! I hope God isn’t too mad at me for my Ichthys (Jesus Fish) and fading chameleon!

Leviticus 19:28New International Version

²⁸“‘Do not cut^(A) your bodies for the dead or put tattoo marks on yourselves. I am the Lord.

My other viewer chose Revelation 21: 4 which I myself had highlighted as a favorite:

Revelation 21:4New International Version

⁴‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes.^(A)There will be no more death’^[a]^(B) or mourning or crying or pain,^(C) for the old order of things has passed away.”^(D)

As things are coming together in my life lately – The music I listen to, my blog, my spirituality, communicating through Twitch I am seeing myself as many parts and pieces. What I do in my life is I try to see the good in all things. I think that is why I am so confusing to people I know. Most people pick one particular path and don’t see any other and I’m not like that. This is the problem with religions for me. Once you choose a path your discouraged from seeing anything else. I feel like this makes for narrow mindedness. The way I visualize things is we each have a key to this existence… to Gods house. That’s why I feel so close to God outside. All are welcome.

When I read the Bible I am in so much trouble! I have broken some of the Ten Commandments and have tattoos! Thankfully the God of my understanding loves me no matter what. He was there with me when I broke those commandments. He was there with me at the tattoo parlor. My God is with me however high or low. My God has kept up with the times we are in and isn’t into kicking people when they are already down.

I am the sum of many parts. God has made a planet sized home for us and each of us has our own set of keys. Everyone has a different messenger in which to hear their God. The beauty of our existence is that we are all so different! We are biologically incapable of perceiving this life in the same way. Wouldn’t life be so boring if we looked and thought exactly the same ?

I’m live on Twitch – Watch me at https://twitch.tv/jwygant

13 December 2021 Stories

December 13, 2021 by saymber, posted in Home, Music, Social media, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you from here. How are you today? As I write to you I’m sitting here with some coffee and the world is gray again. I didn’t sleep very well last night again. I have to have background noise when I sleep. I decided to try cat purring noises. My Amber kitty used to purr me to sleep. It helped!

Talked to my my dad yesterday. I feel bad for my dad being trapped in his body and having to be in a nursing home. He’s making the best of it but didn’t sound very happy. He was the kind of person that liked to be on the go all the time……then his legs failed him.

So last night I did a shorter live stream. A couple of my friends got on and that was super nice. I got introduced to a new song. Im always on the lookout for new music: The Hu Song of Woman https://youtu.be/mdN1U9NvuIc

After my friends left I got a chance to visit with a 29 year old man from Mexico. He lives in a large city and misses living in a more forestry place. He mentioned not feeling real safe where he lives namely drug cartels! I shared some of my art with him. He’s learning to play bass guitar and likes to draw too. He’s considering starting his own channel! Evening seems to be the best time to find people that want to visit.

It’s nice that there are only a couple people that get on my channel at a time. I like having the back and forth conversation. Some channels on Twitch have thousands of viewers at a time which is fine for the music channels but for chatting not so much. I like to get to know my viewers and followers.

I hope you have s wonderful day. Thank you for taking time out of your busy day for me!

I’m live on Twitch – Watch me at https://twitch.tv/jwygant

12 December 2021 Full Life

December 12, 2021December 12, 2021 by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, history, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Social media, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you. It’s Sunday as I write to you. Listening to Astravert on Twitch doing another one of his awesome improv jams. His music is great to write to. I highly recommend checking him out.

So last night I had my longest stream ever – just over 2 hours! I got to talk to an EMT who has lived so much life for his 25 years of life. He served in the French military for 6 years as a medic and apparently experienced some pretty rough stuff. He lives with his 5 year old German Shepard. He ultimately would like to be a Family Practice doctor with a pilots license – he’s working on getting his pilots license! This young man just amazed me with how much life he’s lived and all that he wants to accomplish. These are some of the people I’m meeting by reaching out on Twitch. That stream got the most views I’ve ever gotten – 28 so far! We talked about movies and also about spirituality. I love talking about matters of the spirit with open minded people. What an honor to talk to one our worlds real super hero’s. EMTs are on the front line in our world. He works in Washington DC so you know he’s probably seen more than his share of trauma. He says it can really wear on him. He talked about getting a call for a suicide and they were too late! It was especially hard as he had lost a brother to suicide. Like I said , I was truly honored to have a visit with such a person!

So many stories to tell! That’s what I’m seeing manifest for my channel . I want to hear other peoples stories and share mine too. Each one of us is a living novel – each day a fresh page.

My prayers go out to all those who recently went through the horrific tornadoes. I kind of stay away from the news but did see that. One of the worst hit was Kentucky.

I’m live on Twitch – Watch me at https://twitch.tv/jwygant

11 December 2021 Cold Saturday

December 11, 2021December 11, 2021 by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Home, Mental Health, Social media, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you. How are you doing today? It’s Saturday afternoon as I write. I just got back from forcing myself out to get groceries. I was going to do it tomorrow but changed my mind . I’m glad I did! I got to see a really nice looking man lol ! Im so down for men with long hair. No I didn’t get his number! Ridleys is still remodeling but I think they are getting closer to being done.

There is supposed to be a Christmas parade in a couple hours. Im not sure I want to stand out in the cold for it!

Last night I did a stream on Twitch and met a couple fellows from England. I was really thrilled about that. They wanted some advice about women lol. I did my best. What is happening is I have been getting on and just talking and viewers pop in. It was cool to have viewers that actually wanted to chat – makes it more fun than sitting and talking to myself! I don’t know where this is going but I’m just going with it ! God has a plan. My therapist suggesting my exploring it was a great idea.

“We are all just strangers on a journey to friendship.”

I’m live on Twitch – Watch me at https://twitch.tv/jwygant

10 December 2021 Progress Not Perfection

December 10, 2021December 10, 2021 by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, Home, Mental Health, Social media, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you. How are you doing today? Link and I got out of bed late today. I just didn’t want to get up. My sleep patterns are all messed up for some reason. I was up til after 12 last night . I wonder if it’s because I watch stuff on my phone so late .

Last night I was on Twitch doing some self therapy and actually got a viewer that wasn’t my family or a friend! He was a young man from the desert and he was just needing someone to talk to about loss. He expressed feeling trapped in his life. So young to have these feelings but I truly understand it. What happened last night is exactly why I’m continuing on with the channel. Even to reach one or two people and help them not feel alone with what they are going through is reason enough. I asked him how he found my channel and he said he searched under the word depression. I’m up to 4 followers now! Progress!

I don’t have any plans today. I need to do some adulting like getting groceries but I don’t want to. I think I will go tomorrow. The leaves I raked up are covered with snow from last night – so much for that project !! The sun through my front windows feels good. May be later Link and I will get a walk in.

“I hope you know that you are one of a kind, cast in flesh with love in mind. In all creation there is just one precious you…..with this knowledge I wonder what will you do?”

Twitch channel: jwygant

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6 December 2021 Dream Kiss

December 6, 2021December 6, 2021 by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, dreams, Mental Health, Social media, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Good morning from here. I’m writing from bed where it’s warm and cozy! Link and and I haven’t decided to get up and face today yet.

Have you ever had a vivid and really happy dream that ended abruptly and you find yourself trying to go back but you can’t? That’s what happened to me last night. I dreamt I was with this blonde man and we kissed – it felt so real! I woke up disappointed to leave him! Sometimes my dreams feel like real experiences. Sometimes it feels like the only difference between dreams and reality is whether or not my eyes are open.

I am not sure if I’m going to to a video or not today for Twitch. I’m having trouble with content. I’m starting to remember how I used to do my YouTube videos. I would actually write out what I wanted to say – like a script. I don’t know if I want to do that or not. It doesn’t feel as natural if there is a script. I will have to think on this – may be not do a video everyday?

“Do you see me through all the words? Can you hear me when there is no sound? Can you feel me when no one is around? Through the wires and cables from me to you one way or another I’m going to get to you.”

I hope you have a great day! Love and be loved!