spirituality – Page 80

6 October 2021 Full

October 6, 2021 by saymber, posted in animals, Art and Poetry, drawing, Spirituality and Religion, trust, Writing and blogging

Hi there. How are you ? I got my walk in and had some coffee. This is like my third attempt at writing something this morning ! Let’s see how this goes!

Do you know what it’s like to be full ? Satisfied? Satiated? I think it’s more than just a feeling you get by eating a well balanced meal. I think it’s a feeling you get inside where your spirit is at. I guess you could call it contentment . Where you have everything you need and want for nothing. The hole inside is closed and there is warmth radiating there. There is an ease – being able to breathe easily and with little effort .

I wish I had that feeling of fullness all the time…..but it gets disrupted by matters of the world and how I choose to react to them. Sometimes things happen. Sometimes a lot of things at once and it’s like being on a ladder losing its rungs.. you just keep falling. How to pause as your falling to ask God to not allow all the ladders rungs to give way !

“Oh God my gauge is on empty I feel the pull, where are you in this hunger can you make me full? Fill my inner abyss with your radiating light, take from me this lingering night. Fill my void of spirit with your tangible presence, leave no trace of discontent leave only your essence. “

5 October 2021 Mortality

October 5, 2021 by saymber, posted in Mental Health, Nature, Spirituality and Religion, Writing and blogging

Hello to you. It’s late as I write to you today . Linky and I are sitting outside for a bit .

So it’s officially fall. All through the neighborhood the trees are starting to change color. They are letting go of what I think of as their disposable hands (leaves). This time of year makes me remember how fragile our mortality is. The trees teach so much.

So everyone has a nemesis. Mine is death. I have talked to death more than a couple times and really there is no reasoning with it . There is a plan in all things and part of the plan is at some time or another we are all going to die. I hate this plan but starving to death on an overburdened planet doesn’t sound like a good alternative. We are mortal and that means over time, like any good machine, we are going to break down. We will either get spare parts or we won’t . What bugs me about our “system” is by the time we have learned it and can enjoy ourselves we are well into our mortality.

We mature like fine wine but shrivel up like prunes! Mortality isn’t pretty !

It is important to have faith now. In these uncertain times we need unwavering things that give us hope. You will find no Hope in death unless you actively look for it. For some death is a mercy. I’ll give death that credit. When someone has been suffering with a illness or condition for an extended period of time mercy comes with death.

No drawing today – kind of having a dry spell!

4 October 2021 Tribe

October 4, 2021 by saymber, posted in Mental Health, Nature, Spirituality and Religion, Writing and blogging

Hello there. How are you ? It’s Monday morning as I write to you. My mind is really full this morning after watching Heilung on You tube last night.

This morning I find myself missing the group of people I used to spend time with – my tribe. We were into natural healing. I’ll never forget the one Christmas solstice gathering we had. There was singing and drums like we had been together always . It’s so rare to have what we had …to keep it together. Time, life, growth and the persuite of money blew our little tribe to the winds. We don’t even keep in touch anymore .

I can remember my Grandpa talking about losing his tribe . This was after he divorced my Grandma. At the time he said it I didn’t understand what he meant. I guess it took me losing my tribe to understand.

What I get reminded of this morning as I’m writing about this is nothing lasts forever . I’m the kind of person that would be content in many ways if things didn’t have to change. Yet even nature reminds me that everything changes – witness the changing leaves of fall! They say if there is any one thing certain about this life it will be change!

Do you currently have a group of people you get together with? A tribe ? Cherish them !!

https://youtu.be/aS91UaGJEqI – link to Heilung Live at Alcatraz Festival 2021

3 October 2021 Drawing

October 3, 2021 by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, drawing, Spirituality and Religion

I decided to try and draw what I was thinking about in my previous blog today

I don’t know if this drawing will make sense but it’s kind of what I was trying to explain in my previous blog . Each of the little rooms represents a life form on the planet and there is Jesus with a skeleton key. Overseeing things with a divine plan is God the life force of all creation.

It’s probably a little out there but I do have a vivid imagination!

3 October 2021 Sunday

October 3, 2021 by saymber, posted in dreams, Spirituality and Religion, Writing and blogging

Hello there! How are you? As I write the sun is creeping across the front porch and it’s really quiet. No loud noises, no dogs or anything – truly a day of rest, it must be Sunday ! I hope this finds you well.

This morning I had a pleasant dream about Benedict Cumberbatch it’s been a long time . His dream self now knows that my ex is his 9th cousin and that I’m divorced. There was something about him having painful ingrown fingernails. I woke up feeling comforted like I’d had a visit with a friend. Doesn’t surprise me that the man would be in my dreams he seems to be everywhere these days !

So I have had something on my mind this morning, I almost drew a picture. It’s a passage from the Bible: John 14 2-12

“In my Father’s house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. You know the way to the place where I am going.”

This is one of my favorite passages. When I read it I always find myself thinking of the earth and all the life forms on it. I think of God being able to experience life through each and every life form. Some of the lives long and some extremely brief. Each life a room in the very large house that is this earth.

I’ve been told that that’s not what Jesus was talking about but I disagree. If God is God and he created everything then each and every life on this planet is a room in which he dwells. Every second a new “room” is added! Each newborn be it a human child to a baby in the wilds! Each life has a value and purpose!

2 October 2021 Hold on Loosely

October 2, 2021 by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, drawing, Writing and blogging

I think it was from an AA reading or something that I remember getting the idea to wear the world like a loose cloak.

It’s late Saturday afternoon. The weather is nice. I went over to my Aunt and Uncles and had a nice lunch. We visited and played a round of a game like Yahtzee called Farkle. Being with them helped me so much! I get stuck sometimes and they know how to get me out! This morning the gears in my brain got stuck!

29 September 2021 Home

September 30, 2021 by saymber, posted in animals, Bipolar life, Home, Mental Health, Writing and blogging

Hello again. I’m back . One of the things that has always helped me is writing. I always remember Kyle telling me to write for myself even if no one reads it! This blog is a very therapeutic tool for me. If you have stopped by and decide to stay and read, I hope there is something here for you too .

So I have a 734 sq ft home that I share with my dog Link . It’s enough living space for us but it’s not enough of a creating space. All it takes is a couple of things and you have clutter. I had some professional organizers come in and ever since I have not wanted to touch anything! My second room is basically storage. I exist in my house but I don’t flourish in it. I downsized before I was ready and with the housing market being what it is – I’m stuck! Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful to have a home I just feel lost In it right now.

“A tiny home to put her shoeboxes in, a place blessed by God to start her life over again. “

I think I just figured out why I have been having so much trouble with feeling at home for so long. After my cats Amber and May died part of me went with them. They were my heart and home . They were always there and then they weren’t . They always used to inspect the things I made and sang me to sleep with their purr. I feel disorientated even writing about this! I miss my little daughters . We lost 4 animals in a short period of time and it wrecked me. Death is my nemesis.

I know God has a plan for me I’m just not sure what it is . So many people figure out what to do with their lives. Why does it have to be so hard for me to figure it out ? I’m 53 dammit!! I don’t get much more time! Why am I still here ?! When will I be home ?

27 September 2021 Early Riser

September 27, 2021September 27, 2021 by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, Health, Mental Health, Writing and blogging

Hello! How are you? I’m sitting out in the morning sun and it feels good. This morning has been a bit of mental gymnastics.

I am having trouble writing today. Thankfully there is the morning sun and it feels good against my skin. Some days I feel so out of sorts ! It seems to come out of nowhere and all I can do is ride through it . Is it this?! Is it that?! Walk around the block a couple of times. Eat an extra meal ! I’ll figure it out !!

23 September 2021 Peaceful

September 23, 2021 by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, Health, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Writing and blogging

Hello to you! How are you today? I’m doing alright . I had this blog all finished a few minutes ago but I decided to discard it. I don’t know why I guess it just wasn’t what I wanted to post!

I wanted to talk about a feeling I got last night . For the first time in a long time I felt peace and contentment . I went to sleep and woke up with that feeling and it was so awesome . No emotional or physical pain! True peace . I wonder if it was spending time with my friend yesterday . We went to Red Robin for burgers and had a really nice visit. I got lots of hugs !

Oh to still the churning waters of my soul, to calm the anxiety stained winds that always seem to blow. A simple gesture of the warm embrace, to stop time and put a smile on my face. A remedy as old as can be, someone lovingly holding on to me .

I don’t know if there is a perfect formula for peace. If there was we would have a whole lot fewer doctors and pill bottles . I know part of my peace comes from God through other people . A simple thing like a hug means so much to me . I think there is a lot of power having two hearts close together .

22 September 2021 Fall

September 22, 2021 by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, Nature, Spirituality and Religion, Writing and blogging

Hello there! How are you doing as you visit me here? Today is the first day of fall if you can believe it! Did it sneak up on you too?

Red, orange and gold watching you dance in the wind never gets old . All part of a cosmic dance full of promise and romance. Loud whispers from tree to bee “it’s fall heed the sleepers call!”

Fall is part of a divine plan. If you look at the trees life cycle it’s a time to restore themselves . All the falling leaves get broken down by insects and the elements to become food for the tree . The tree is very self sufficient. They make an entire world wherever they take root. Truly amazing beings!