Tag: relationships

3 Dec 2024 Change

by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, drawing, Health, Mental Health, photography, space, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

What is one thing you would change about yourself?

Hello to you. Hope this finds you well. Today has been uneventful. I am feeling a little better after catching another cold. There was talk about something happening today with regard to space people but of course nothing happened! I am thinking something is brewing with the increase in sightings. I am thinking it has to do with the increasing unrest going on in the world – Sabre rattling about using nukes. If I was a space person watching all of what’s going on I think I would want to intervene too!

My answer to today’s prompt is if I could change one thing about myself I would not be Bipolar. Having this diagnosis has really limited me in so many ways. I have lost two marriages and many friendships and relationships with family. I lost a career because of this condition. The only good thing to ever come of being Bipolar was the wellspring of energy and creativity during the times I was manic. I would hardly sleep and my creative abilities seemed endless. I could draw, paint, sing, write, take awesome photos, dance, tap into the spiritual realms – all of this with little to no effort. Having the mania under control with the medication I’m on – Depakote- I can’t do much of anything anymore. This blog is my only outlet! In addition to Bipolar I have the Mal de barque syndrome where I have trouble with balance. I’m convinced it was triggered by my being tased by police when I was having a manic episode two years ago. It just won’t go away! So I guess there are actually two things I wish I could change!

Since I cannot change what I am, I have to push through with it all. I have to force myself to move forward even if I don’t want to. I pray a lot and ask for healing. I am trying to say yes more often when I would usually say no. One of the side affects of Depakote is weight gain and not feeling full after eating. With the balance challenges it’s hard to exercise to get rid of calories but I force myself to get a walk in with Link each day. I’m trying to lower my calorie count too. I am trying to say no more often to eating sweets which is my favorite type of food! Not all of what I am can be blamed on being Bipolar! I wish I could get back to size 16 jeans again. Obesity runs in my Dads side of the family so my genetics are kind of stacked against me along with my diagnosis.

Some scripture about change:

  • Ecclesiastes 3:1-2“To everything there is a season, and a time for every purpose under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to uproot”. 
  • Isaiah 43:18-19“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?”. 
  • Psalm 30:5“Weeping may stay for the night, but rejoicing comes in the morning”. 
  • Romans 8:28“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose”. 
  • 2 Corinthians 5:17“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!”. 
  • Hebrews 13:8“Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever”. 
  • Malachi 3:6“I the Lord do not change. So you, the descendants of Jacob, are not destroyed”. 
  • James 1:17“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows”. 
  • Ephesians 4:22-24“You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness”. 

1 Dec 2024 Meant To Be

by saymber, posted in history, Home, Leading Life by Example, space, Spirituality and Religion, Writing and blogging

Hello to you from frosty Idaho. I had to scrape frost off of my windows before church this morning! Something I have been following lately is the increased reporting of lights in the sky to include right over the Capitol building on Thanksgiving! Interesting times we are living in.

Lights captured over the Capitol building

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-14137567/Mysterious-lights-Capitol-Hill-sparks-fears-UFOs-Washington-DC.html

Today’s message at Grace Bible Church Middleton was from Christmas Story Meant To Be – Garden of Sorrow. Pastor Jayson was in Genesis Chapter 2 and 3:

Genesis 2:8-9New International Version

8 Now the Lord God had planted a garden in the east, in Eden; and there he put the man he had formed.9 The Lord God made all kinds of trees grow out of the ground—trees that were pleasing to the eye and good for food. In the middle of the garden were the tree of life and the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.

Genesis 3:1-4New International Version

The Fall

3 Now the serpent was more crafty than any of the wild animals the Lord God had made. He said to the woman, “Did God really say, ‘You must not eat from any tree in the garden’?”

2 The woman said to the serpent, “We may eat fruit from the trees in the garden, 3 but God did say, ‘You must not eat fruit from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it, or you will die.’”

4 “You will not certainly die,” the serpent said to the woman.

Out of these scripture we are told that God gives us great gifts but what God gave as a gift became a gift of sorrow by what Adam and Eve did by eating fruit from the one tree God told them not to eat from. The garden became a garden of sorrow instead of paradise. We are reminded in this season of gifts that it’s not entirely about the manger – Jesus’s birth – but ultimately the cross he would die on for that first sin and all sin that has followed.

This message makes me reflect on my walk of faith and all the ways I have fallen short – eaten fruit from the forbidden tree, broken commandments. I am so grateful to be knowing Jesus more and more. I have so much yet to learn! It’s important to know it’s never too late to know him.

30 Nov 2024 Thanksgiving and Favorite Things To Wear

by saymber, posted in Food, Home, Spirituality and Religion, Writing and blogging

What are your two favorite things to wear?

Hello to you this Saturday afternoon. I had a wonderful Thanksgiving at my cousin Heidi’s house along with her husband, my Aunt and Uncle and my cousins son, wife and two children. There was so much food I didn’t have room for dessert! We had turkey, ham, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, green beans, stuffing, pistachio pudding salad, raspberry pudding salad and rolls! Whew! What a feast! It was so nice to be with everyone! I am so blessed to be here and be able to share the holidays with such loving family.

What a wonderful meal and company!

I caught a slight cold that showed up yesterday and is still hanging around today. Hope I wasn’t contagious to the family! No Black Friday shopping for me. From what Tik Tok was showing there weren’t a lot of shoppers. Apparently there just weren’t that great of sales to make it worth it. I’ve never been a fan of crowds anyways!

Todays prompt is hard to answer as the only things I wear on a favorites basis is jewelry. I have a ring engraved with the phrase “Not all who wander are lost” and my Metatrons Cube pendant I wear each day. I used to have a tie dye t-shirt I loved to wear a lot but I wore it out! When I couldn’t wear it in public I used it as a night shirt until it fell apart. Wearing stuff until it falls apart is something I do a lot!

  • Psalm 100:4-5“Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his name. For the LORD is good and his love endures forever; his faithfulness continues through all generations”. 

24 Nov 2024 Thankful In Pain

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Health, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Good day to you. I hope this finds you well. Today was the last of the I AmThankful series at church today. We got to listen to the inspiring story of John and Kristin who relocated to Middleton from California last year. In the midst of their transition they were thrown a major curve ball. One day Kristin was in severe pain and it turned out she had gall stones. A large one ended up rupturing and caused septics! When all was said and done she ended up losing part of her arms and both hands. She was wearing a prosthetic arm/hand on her right side. She said it was her faith that got her through it! A very inspiring story! It goes to prove something that I’ve said and has proven true in my life that if you think you have troubles just talk to someone else!

Messages from Pastor Jayson included these key points: 1) Contentment is a choice 2) Life rarely goes the way we think it should 3) A Faith that can’t be tested can’t be trusted and The things we focus on will determine our contentment.

Something that comes to mind for me and my experience is God always has a plan even in our suffering and discontent. It’s in his timing not ours! Every trial I have faced has been for my greater good in the end. If I was still living in Texas I would be so much worse off! I don’t think I would have found the church family I have or the relationship with Jesus I have now.

Philippians 4:13New International Version

13 I can do all this through him who gives me strength.

19 Nov 2024 Adversity

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Health, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you from the chilly yet sunny state of Idaho. I hope this finds you well – if not I hope you know you are loved and people you have never met are praying for you. I pray for the world and those who think they have no one who cares for them each day. With the latest headlines we are facing great uncertainty and as brothers and sisters need to keep eachother in prayer even more than ever!

This morning I went over to my Aunts house and road with her to meet with some ladies from the last Bible study we did. We tried to meet and have coffee at The Harvesters but it was practically standing room only! So we had a change of plans and went to the Bible study leaders home instead. We each talked about our stories – especially health. Each of us has experienced and continue to experience adversity. What we have in common is leaning on our faith in Jesus to face those trials. I have only recently started to refer to God, my Lord, my savior as Jesus Christ. Growing up Roman Catholic we weren’t really taught that. I only ever believed in God. Since moving here to Idaho I have turned my life, my soul, specifically to Jesus. What’s ironic about that is every single manic episode I’ve had has in some way involved Jesus! It’s refreshing to not be manic and have Jesus in my life.

Adversity strikes us all in one way or another. It is how and to whom we turn to that makes all the difference as we face those trials. In my not so distant past I often tried to face and figure how to navigate troubles on my own. Having a relationship with Christ has helped relieve the burden of life’s adversities and I don’t feel so alone. When I go to church on Sundays I feel so welcome and part of a family apart from my biological family.

Romans 5:3-5New International Version

3 Not only so, but we[a] also glory in our sufferings,because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4 perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.

29 Oct 2024 Kid at Heart

by saymber, posted in Leading Life by Example, Spirituality and Religion, Writing and blogging

What does it mean to be a kid at heart?

Hi there! How are you doing this fine fall day? Good I hope!

Today’s prompt makes me think of myself when I was younger. Children used to think when I would go to an adult function that I was there to see them! I gravitated towards children and pets as I didn’t feel like I fit in with the adults! Adults like to talk about things I am not always interested in. Kids and pets are less cerebral – more play and laughter – imagination. They are less complicated and like to look at things more simply and honestly. Adults are focused on adulting – politics, world issues, body problems, work and religion. I have strong opinions on these issues which are often contrary to public opinion!

Being a kid at heart is something I miss about myself as I grow older. I have kind of become what I used to avoid at public gatherings. I’ve had some things happen to me in the past few years that have roughened me around the edges and taken away my innocence. Thankfully there is hope in all this as I have surrendered to Jesus and he said we must be as children to enter his kingdom.

Matthew 19:14 New International Version (NIV)Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.”

28 August 2024 Something to Write About

by saymber, posted in Home, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Writing and blogging

Hi there! How are you doing today? I hope this finds you well. I am trying to write a little more often and it’s kind of hard. Being single and living alone with my sweet dog Link – not going out much makes for not much to write about! Most of the outside my home activities are family, church and medical appointment related. Starting next month on Tuesdays I will be joining my Aunt for a Bible study called One in a Million. This study will go on into November. It will be nice to have an opportunity to make new friends! People my age are still working so most of the people will be older and retired. As a newer Christian it will be good to learn more and have the opportunity to ask questions.

Recently I had the question about being baptized as a baby versus being baptized as an adult. The difference is not having a say as a baby and my parents choosing versus my being an adult and making a conscious decision to follow Christ. So at some point I may decide to get baptized as an adult!

Sometimes I feel like I’m holding back from being all into following Jesus. Part of it has to do with each of the episodes I’ve had being Bipolar. Each episode involved religion and Jesus. This last episode that landed me in the hospital and trouble with the law was because I felt Jesus was taking too long to return so I was going to push things along! So I have been avoiding becoming overly religious for fear of what could happen! So much of my life I have been into death and darkness – my early life began with such things losing my Mom so young. I’m grateful to be surrounded by loving family both by blood and by church. They are helping me navigate this phase of my journey.

7 May 2024 Community

by saymber, posted in Leading Life by Example, Spirituality and Religion, trust

What do you do to be involved in the community?

Luke 22:26New International Version

The way I am involved in community is through my church. I go to church, attend a prayer meeting and fold bulletins on Thursdays. There is more I could be doing but I’m doing what I can right now. There are a lot of leadership vacancies in the church and I have thought about filling one but worry about becoming overwhelmed. I have been praying about it.

Luke 22:26

26But you are not to be like that. Instead, the greatest among you should be like the youngest, and the one who rules like the one who serves.

17 April 2024 Decision

by saymber, posted in Home, Spirituality and Religion, trust, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Describe a decision you made in the past that helped you learn or grow.

A decision I made that helped me grow was going back to church and becoming a Christian this past year. I had stopped going to church for a long time. The whole 12 years I lived in Texas and part of the time I lived in Delaware. I was a pagan for all that time. I was raised Roman Catholic and became disenchanted with it and stopped going. My ex and I used to go but felt like we didn’t belong. Since making the choice to allow Christ to be my savior I have made friends and church family at Grace Bible Church in Middleton. I am not alone anymore! I am finding my way with the help of my family and church family. There is a little part of me that is still reserved but I am learning to surrender. I have always believed in Jesus just hadn’t completely surrendered to him.

Philippians 4:13New International Version

13 I can do all this through him who gives me strength

2 April 2024 Switch

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Health, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you. I’m experiencing a little frustration about my experience with the VA. I just found out I’m losing my counselor in a couple months- same thing happened with my psychiatrist! It keeps happening! They are interns that graduate and move on and then a new doctor switches in. It’s frustrating because I have to keep starting over! The positive thing is may be a new perspective will be helpful – I will just have to see.

2 Corinthians 5:17New International Version

17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come:[a] The old has gone, the new is here!