Tag: Middleton ID

3 November 2021 Apple

by saymber, posted in history, Home, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hi! How are you in your today? I’m doing alright. I am looking at my little drum and wishing I had someone to play it with! On the 13th I’ve scheduled a Meetup event at 6 pm . Even if one person signs up that would be nice ! (Connect Middleton Idaho)

“Keep me as the apple of your eye; hide me in the shadow of your wings” psalm 17:8

The Bible has some beautiful passages in it. I chose this one thinking of my Grandma Irene Schmidt today. I can remember her and I playing cards one time and her telling me I was the apple of her eye. It made me feel so special to be loved like that! My Grandma loved God so much and shared that love with me. This morning I’m remembering her flowers. She had the most beautiful roses. I’m thinking of the white Kennedy roses in particular. They were huge and smelled so good! Whenever I see or smell a rose I think of my Grandma.

I don’t have a picture of Grandmas flowers handy but this link will show you what the rose looked like:

https://gardencenterpoint.com/kennedy-rose/?gclid=Cj0KCQjw5oiMBhDtARIsAJi0qk0Ui7pk2D6Be-PKSOOD23QR4UjCDpuT33MH_q6xQipk3IA_TllmwoQaAnceEALw_wcB

2 November 2021 Questions

by saymber, posted in dreams, history, In the News, Politics and Government, Science (Keshe Foundation and other innovations), space, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello there. How are you? I’m feeling really tired but know I won’t be able to go back to sleep. For the past couple weeks I just haven’t been able to sleep well. It happens to a lot of us I think, especially when we get older.

So first thing this morning I got groceries at our local Ridleys. It was a little tricky getting around the store as they are doing a pretty big renovation/reorganization of the store. It should be really nice when it’s done!

The past couple days I’ve been watching You tube videos about aliens and UFOs. It makes me think of the dream I had when I was in the hospital. It was so vivid. I was laying on a table and there were two Gray aliens. I can remember screaming at them “What did you do to my face?!’” I could see myself and half of my face was a Gray alien! Then I saw my dog Spot and she was looking outside and barking but nothing was there. The dream was felt more like a memory than a dream. Weird huh?!!

When I think of aliens and UFOs I think of how much trouble we have still to this day of peacefully coexisting with life forms that are different than ourselves. Even in the year 2021 we fight amongst ourselves. If I was an alien species I would be very reluctant to show up on the White House lawn too!

I have so many questions for them! How long have they been watching us? Can they help us save this planet?!

Do you think we are being visited by beings from other galaxies? Have life forms learned how to fold space and time and travel in between? Lots of questions and still few answers!

https://youtu.be/64s8ujoydRM – one of the documentaries I’ve watched

1 November 2021 Conditional Love

by saymber, posted in Home, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hi. I am home from an appointment with my therapist. Some really profound things came up. I had to write about it and hope may be something will resonate with you.

The first thing that came forth was when I was talking about my ex and how I was holding on to our past. How I felt like my holding on to our past was keeping me from moving forward . How I felt holding on to my past was a visceral thing I could actually feel in my head. Like an invisible force holding me back. Well my therapist said something pretty profound. She said “his love for you was conditional.” I felt that so deeply! I immediately felt a warmth in my chest. I thought of Jesus and unconditional love. How I had expected a human being to love me like Jesus and he just couldn’t. Lots of tears processing that! It was a truth I hadn’t considered.

The second thing was I have this huge circle of memories he and I shared and so many of them are good! Powerful! I am so afraid that if I go forward and make new memories that I will leave that past I love behind. I don’t want to let go. My therapist was like “ your holding on to nothing.” He went out of his way to get me a hard copy of the divorce decree. There is literally nothing to go back to! I have to move forward whether I want to or not. Again, more tears! When you talk things out it can bring forth really intense emotions. In case you didn’t already know for yourself, being divorced sucks!

I’m glad I drove to the office day!

1 November 2021 Monday

by saymber, posted in Uncategorized

Hello. Good morning from here. I have a cup of coffee and my writing buddy Link beside me. How are you? If you celebrated Halloween how was it? Did you get a lot of trick-or- treaters? I had about ten or so. Turns out most people in my neighborhood go to the other side of town. Aw well….me and my hat with goggles showed up !

Someday I’m going to get more of a costume together!

Now there will be a lull for a couple of weeks and then it will be Thanksgiving. I am trying to keep my heart in the center of my chest and out of my stomach. I’m trying to push myself more…..baby steps.

“The Bene Gesserit Litany Against Fear. … I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.” (Dune)

31 October 2021 Crystal Empowerment and Halloween

by saymber, posted in Uncategorized

Hello! How are you? I’m doing pretty good. Last night I had my very first Zoom meeting on Meetup. The group was called Crystal Empowerment. There were four of us and we had a nice visit learning about how you can use crystals in healing. We were able to share some of our crystals and I got to make a plug for my Meetup Group. A couple of the people even had drums! Athena, the organizer for the meeting, has a shop in Boise here is her website: https://www.crystalempowerment.com/

So today is Halloween and I’m having lots of mixed emotions about celebrating it alone. There is a part of me eager to don my top hat and steampunk goggles. There is equally a part of me that wants to say screw it and hide inside! As we get closer to trick-or-treat time we shall see which side wins!

Last May was a very creative time for me

What is Gods plan for me as we move so quickly through the last months of the year? It always feels like the fast forward button gets pushed from Halloween on into New Years. I will need to be vigilant! I’m feeling like there is much good to come….healing and growing.

I hope you have fun however you celebrate today!

30 October 2021 Somebody

by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, drawing, Home, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hi. How are you? This is my second go around trying to write to you! I tried to talk to God today on the morning walk and there was nothing. I guess I was distracted by the trees in various stages of undress or the squirrel running across the road. It wasn’t until I got home and opened my Bible was there something:

Jesus answered him, “it is also written : Do not put the Lord your God to the test.” Matthew 4:7

What does it mean to test God? Is it kind of like asking a lion to jump through a hoop of fire? Asking God to do parlor tricks ? Praying prayers from a place of demanding something versus asking? In my world right now I am asking God to help me heal from the divorce. Asking not demanding. Sometimes memories of my past with him will cascade across my entire being. There is no comfort when that happens except God. Only an intangible can fit into an intangible. No testing here just seeking comfort.

More from May last year

“In all of this something there is someone God has made just for me. Right now without a name or specific form….just somebody “

I’ve been trying online dating and like my cousin and I were talking about online stuff is so much different now. Back in the early 2000’s when I met my ex it was a lot different… safer. Now there are so many scammers. I’ve encountered a few and they want your money not you. I find myself wanting to meet my new somebody in a natural way. Is that Gods plan?

29 October 2021 Beautiful Day

by saymber, posted in animals, Art and Poetry, Home, Nature, photography, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hi. I’m sitting outside enjoying the sunshine.

The neighbors tree is almost done shedding it’s leaves. Link is watching for the squirrel!

“Fall leaves scrape and scuttle in the breeze, twisting and turning landing where they please.”

A little bit of chalk today

It’s a beautiful day. I am trying to enjoy this weather while it lasts! I hope in your where and when that you get some time to enjoy your day.

29 October 2021 Thirsty

by saymber, posted in Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello! How are you doing today? I’m sitting here with a cup of coffee and my little drum. I had a nice day yesterday . My cousin came to visit me and took me out to lunch at a burger place called The Habit. They had green beans that were prepared like French fries! I just love spending time with her. She, like the rest of my family here are so supportive. I told her that she is a breath of fresh air. I am truly blessed. She and I talked about trying to get together again and I would drive there! It’s time to get me out of my comfort zone again!

My cousin and I talked a bit about how fast life goes . We are both in our 50’s now and it really makes you cherish and be grateful for the people in your life. This time of life makes you want to make the most of the life you have left. I pulled out my Bible today and turned to the book of John:

John 4:13-14New International Version

13 Jesus answered, “Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, 14 but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst.(A) Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water(B) welling up to eternal life.”(C)

Reading this makes me think of the wonderful time I had with my cousin and so many other special moments in my life. They are fleeting. I want to hold on to them but I can’t. Just like water they slip through my fingers.

28 October 2021 Breaking Through

by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, drawing, Home, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you . How are you today? It’s a sunny start to the day. It feels so nice! I am doing ok today. I’m thinking about Halloween. I bought a couple small bags of Snickers to pass out and am thinking about wearing my steampunk hat and goggles! I am having to break through my grief. Halloween was our favorite holiday.

I did this last May

Who am now? So much of my identity was plural! It was Kyle and Jackie not just Jackie. I am having to find out who I am now. Yesterday I deleted my Tinder (dating app) account because I realized I have no business being there. Like I talked about in my previous blog. I am walking around carrying a bag full of holes!

“Gradually, carefully God unravels the mystery that is a life. Be it mother, sister, friend or wife. Previously curtained paths do a slight reveal. A joy is found that no one can steal.”

27 October 2021 Bag

by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, Home, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello. It’s evening as I write to you . Have you ever felt like some unseen force was pulling you down? Keeping you stuck in place when you want to move forward? I feel that feeling nearly everyday. Well lately I have been saying this , “God I have to find a way to live this life!”

A long time ago ,during my first marriage we went to a marriage counselor. He was a priest. He gave me an analogy of what my relationship with my husband was. He said it was two people who each have a bag to bring to the relationship . One persons bag was full and the other was empty with a big hole in it. The person with the full bag kept trying to fill the bag with a hole in it and finally had nothing left to share. Both bags were empty. The relationship could not continue like that.

Sitting here writing this, twice divorced now I have a near empty bag riddled with holes. This past year really tore my bag up! It takes time and a lot of thread to make such major repairs! A part of me is so lonely. I get so bored and want the company of someone nice but I know I’m not ready yet. I’m still sewing patches on my bag. My spirit is an ember when it used to be a flame. I am wanting God to bring somebody into my life when I’m ready. When my bag is full again!

“ I’m going to break these chains that bind me. I’m going to set all my tears to sea. God is watching and waiting. God is ready and anticipating. Say my name. Let the ember be a flame. “ – Jackie