Gratitude – Page 16

17 October 2021

October 17, 2021 by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, drawing, Leading Life by Example, Spirituality and Religion, Writing and blogging

Hello there! How are you? I’m doing ok. This morning I’m writing to you from my little loveseat. Link is keeping my feet warm! It’s chilly in the house but not enough to kick the heater on.

So in a little while I’m going over to my Aunt and Uncles to make hot and spicy pepper jam. They haven’t done this for a couple of years. My cousins and their kids will there. I’ll let you know how it goes tomorrow.

I felt like chalking for a few minutes last night

What am I grateful for today? ALOT! I’m so grateful to have a God of my understanding that reminds me to pull out my gratitude list when I’m getting ready to start complaining. I was going to do that this morning! Sometimes it’s ok to complain but I have to be careful that complaining isn’t all I do. I have to remember that when I complain I give my personal power away to what I’m complaining about. What I focus on gains power.

16 October 2021 Doors

October 16, 2021 by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, drawing, Home, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello there. It’s Saturday as I write to you. It’s looking like it’s going to be a beautiful fall day. I like watching the wind play with the leaves .

There is a simple but powerful prayer my Aunt and I came up with a long time ago; “May the doors that need to open, open. May the doors that need to shut, shut. Amen.” I am finding I am having trouble shutting doors that need to be shut lately. As I’ve mentioned before I’m a softy. I don’t like to hurt other peoples feelings even if it means my own feelings get hurt.

Sometimes even shut doors aren’t completely closed

The door that is stuck partway open right now is Idaho. It’s been over a year since my cousin and his wife brought me here and I still feel like a newcomer. I just haven’t found a way to fit in yet. This is a similar problem I have faced most of my life. It’s always been hard for me to fit in. I have always felt like an outsider.

When I was in the military it was a very transitory lifestyle. As soon as you got comfortable some place it was time to move. It really messed with my head. Leaving Texas after living there 12 years was hard; but I don’t feel like I had much of a choice though. I couldn’t stay there. So here I am in Idaho a place I never expected to live!

I guess I have to reach for my gratitude list. For whatever reason I’m at this place in my life and I need to be grateful for a soft landing for a very hard fall. Looking at the rest of the world today it could be so much worse for me. There is a place for me I just haven’t found the right door yet.

15 October 2021

October 15, 2021 by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, In the News, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Money, Spirituality and Religion, Writing and blogging

Hello. How are you? I’m am doing ok – just real tired. I haven’t been sleeping that well. It was only once around the block today. I’m starting to feel like an old dog!! Must be the cold getting in my bones!

Yesterday I went over to my Aunt and Uncles house for linner (lunch/dinner). They had invited some of their friends and their daughter too . It was nice to have a home cooked meal with such good company. Playing a round of Farkle (dice game) which my Aunt won. Being with them helped me forget my troubles for awhile . For just a couple hours the world seemed happy and peaceful – normal. When I am with my family I feel so loved and cared about. I wish the whole world could know what that’s like. So many lives seem to be in a state of chaos right now.

When I look at the news lately everything is for shit. It’s like there isn’t any hope. Just more of the same crap – fear mongering and scare tactics. All the stuff love can’t buy but money can. If you pay attention to this stuff you have to ask where God is in all of it. I believe God is showing us just how broken we are.

All broken aside, I want to focus on the good stuff. I woke up today. I have wonderful family and friends. I have a roof over my head. Food in my belly. My health is pretty good yet. I have a sweet dog. I have transportation. I want to believe there is enough of what I need in this world. I want to believe my higher power has my back and is looking out for me. No matter how broken this world appears to be, there are moments like I had yesterday. People still caring about each other and coming together in fellowship and love.

So what are you grateful for today? What makes you happy ? How do you stay positive ? I’d love to hear from you!

10 October 2021 Small Town

October 10, 2021 by saymber, posted in Home, In the News, Money, Writing and blogging

Hello again. This post will kind of tie in to my previous. I am having one of those days where I just need to write !

So I live in a small town in Idaho named Middleton. It’s near Nampa and Caldwell. We are going through a housing boom in this area. All around the existing “old town” people are building really expensive houses. We have one grocery store called Ridleys that all these new residents go to and I’ve noticed shortages especially of drinking water. Most people I know don’t drink water from the tap. They either have some kind of filtration system or they drink bottled water.

I never thought I would live in a world where you would have to pay twice for water . Pay the city so you can flush your toilet and pay the grocery store so you have water to drink. Drinking water is more precious than oil!

I moved to this town for a reason. One of the biggest is finding a house I could afford that wasn’t a complete dump. I considered renting an apartment but couldn’t afford it. For under $200,000 the only properties that were listed were the type flippers dream about . In some cases you would have to level the house to the ground and start over! The tiny house I found, a mere 734 sq ft, was a manufactured home which is hard to get a loan for but was still in my price range at $190,000. A lot of prayers were answered with my finding of the house!

So I live here now what! I haven’t figured out a way to connect with people here yet. The only people I know here in this state are my family. They all work or are busy with their own lives. I have considered starting a Meetup group but am not sure I want to swallow the $69 startup fee! Most Meetup groups are in the larger cities. I don’t want to have to drive all the way to Boise. I have nice neighbors but they mostly keep to themselves or each other. I’m the odd woman out – no husband and no kids.

There has to be a reason beyond this house for me being here. I just don’t know what it is yet. Something I really enjoyed doing for a time was helping people heal. May be once I’m completely back on my feet God will have a plan about that. May be part of my being here is to heal and get strong again. This small town might just be the refuge God wants for me right now .

23 September 2021 Peaceful

September 23, 2021 by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, Health, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Writing and blogging

Hello to you! How are you today? I’m doing alright . I had this blog all finished a few minutes ago but I decided to discard it. I don’t know why I guess it just wasn’t what I wanted to post!

I wanted to talk about a feeling I got last night . For the first time in a long time I felt peace and contentment . I went to sleep and woke up with that feeling and it was so awesome . No emotional or physical pain! True peace . I wonder if it was spending time with my friend yesterday . We went to Red Robin for burgers and had a really nice visit. I got lots of hugs !

Oh to still the churning waters of my soul, to calm the anxiety stained winds that always seem to blow. A simple gesture of the warm embrace, to stop time and put a smile on my face. A remedy as old as can be, someone lovingly holding on to me .

I don’t know if there is a perfect formula for peace. If there was we would have a whole lot fewer doctors and pill bottles . I know part of my peace comes from God through other people . A simple thing like a hug means so much to me . I think there is a lot of power having two hearts close together .

2 September 2021 Appreciation

September 2, 2021 by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, Writing and blogging

Hello to you ! How are you doing today ? I hope your doing well . It’s another beautiful day here. I wish the skies would clear up but we will take what we can get .

This morning my mind turns towards thinking about appreciation. It’s so easy to take a person, place and or thing for granted. We can live life just expecting they will always be there and we are learning on many levels that is is a mistake. There is one thing that is certain about existence and that is change! Impermanence is the name of the game of life .

It’s important to show appreciation, to express gratitude while there is still yet time to do it . It doesn’t have to be a grand gesture either! Sometimes it’s just saying the words is all someone is waiting to hear .

31 August 2021 Gathered

August 31, 2021 by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, Spirituality and Religion, Writing and blogging

Hello to you. How are you ? I am doing pretty good this morning . I did something different and really enjoyed it . Today I’m thinking of the Bible passage New International Version
For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.” My Aunt invited me to a short Bible study today with one of her dear friends. There was just the three of us .

It really felt good to talk about God and read from psalms (psalm 145) which is the last psalm written by David and psalm 104 which was our hostesses favorite. It felt nice to get out of the house and spend some time with a couple of women who truly love God and have a strong testimony in how God has worked on their lives.

I honestly didn’t want it to end! My drawing today is symbolic of what we did today .

25 May 2020 Remembering

May 25, 2020May 25, 2020 by saymber, posted in Exploring numeric value of words in English language, history, Home, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, trust, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

How are you today? I’m doing pretty good. It’s a wet Memorial Day. They say it’s going to be like this all day. I guess it’s a fitting thing that it be raining on this somber holiday. In the past couple of years, my husband and honored this holiday by going to our local cemetery. Instead of doing that this year, I will be going to spend some time with my husband, his family and of course Spotty. Last night before bed I was imagining saying hello to her and being so excited!

Memorial Day” in the English Ordinal system equals 116

“a remembrance” in the English Ordinal system equals 98

“together” in the English Ordinal system equals 98

Remembering, like I mentioned in my post yesterday, is a mixed thing. It can be a helpful skill and as my husband used to day about his having a great memory, it can be a curse. I am struggling with the curse part right now. When I remember things it is such a visceral experience that it hurts. In our current times I’m sure I’m not alone. On this day I can guess there are many who wish they didn’t have to remember what today is about! My heart goes out to anyone reading this that can relate to that.

Goals for today:

Today I will rest in gratitude that I am here and yet able to remember. Today I will give thanks for what and who I have in my life. Today I will have hope that today and the tomorrows yet to come will be filled with great new memories.

2 May 2020 Thank you

May 2, 2020 by saymber, posted in animals, Art and Poetry, Exploring numeric value of words in English language, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, trust, Veteran Affairs

Hello and happy Saturday to you. I hope this finds you well. The message that came to me is one I’ve talked about before but in these times it’s ever so relevant – two words – THANK YOU!

These two words span the entirety of my existence from the folks who helped me get through my treatment, my fellow patients, my family, my friends and especially my neighbors. Yesterday I found out it was my next door neighbors and another neighbor friend that helped keep our front yard from becoming overgrown. Those two words also apply to all the folks working in the local businesses/franchises in town like our grocery store Brookshire’s and Papa John’s for example. Yesterday the man I hired to take care of our lawn, Mr. Manza – how easy he made a mess of a yard look great again.

So much gratitude! A hear no one has a small part.t space to live in for sure! In my life,

Looking at these two words in Gematria. As always, just what my wanderings have found for myself but something here may resonate with you too:

“Thank You” in the English Ordinal system equals 115 – a face, replenished, intelligence, symbiotic, positive

“one one five” in the English Ordinal system equals 110 – emotions, purpose, loyalty, perfect being

“one one zero” in the English Ordinal system equals 132 – a life, noble motive, higher power, expectation

“one three two” in the English Ordinal system equals 148 – a tree, human emotion, care of the soul

one four eight” in the English Ordinal system equals 143 – a choice, contentment, resourceful, philosophy

one four three” in the English Ordinal system equals 150 – a Joy, understanding, communication, divine planning, positive image

one five zero” in the English Ordinal system equals 140 – a food, interesting, celestial bodies, rays of light

one four zero” in the English Ordinal system equals 158 – a feeling, quality of life, simpler times, spirit alchemy

one five eight” in the English Ordinal system equals 125 – a all, courageous, spiritual, lead by example

“one two five” in the English Ordinal system equals 134 – a one, information, combinations, responsible, intellectual