9 May 2023 Job For A Day

May 9, 2023 by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, drawing, history, Home, human rights, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

What’s a job you would like to do for just one day?

Hello there! How are you? Hopefully we’ll. Todays prompt is a thought provoking one – there are so many jobs I’m interested in that I would just want to try out for a day if I had more energy. In the course of my life I’ve done the military personnel thing (basically a secretary) and a lot of creative things like painting and drawing- photography, tried energy healing, tried local politics, so something else would be trying out being a spiritual leader for a day – like a pastor or something. It would have to be for just one day as I look at our church and how much our Pastor and his family have to be involved with and it’s exhausting to even contemplate! There is so much involved with being a spiritual leader I think. You are always in the lime light and expected to be a certain way which might be hard to live up to. You are like a doctor I imagine – never off duty. Always on call. I would probably only last a day but better a minister than a politician! I tried politics and didn’t like it.

Colossians 3:12-17New International Version

¹²Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. ¹³Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. ¹⁴And over all these virtues put on love,which binds them all together in perfect unity.

¹⁵Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. ¹⁶Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts.¹⁷And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

Drawing I did about what it must be like to be God or a Guardian Angel – so many doors open with people crying out for help. This drawing could apply to being a man or woman of the cloth too – always being called on by so many. Who to answer first?!! How to prioritize?!

7 May 2023 Heart

May 7, 2023 by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, drawing, history, human rights, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Movies, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you. How are you today? I’m just back from church – wasn’t sure if I was going but I did go. There are so many nice people that go and as I get regular with my attendance, the more people I get to know. The next event the ladies are having is a Ladies Tea on the 20th. My Aunt and I are planning on attending.

Todays message was more about the life of Abraham. The part we went over was when Abraham’s wife didn’t want to wait any longer for the God promised baby and she suggested Abraham conceive with Hagar the slave. The message about that was when we push our will instead of waiting can cause heart ache. The other message, and this has come up before, is how our hearts can’t be trusted. I wanted to put up my hand and disagree! One of my favorite sayings is from a 1920’s movie called Metropolis “the mediator between the head and hands must be the heart.” That silent movie was about how ruthless a business person can be without using their heart. As a woman and an empath I use my heart a lot! Sadly that’s probably why I have so many labels and mental health issues.! So much inner conflict between my brain and my heart.

I understand the intent of the message is to encourage us to get closer to God and not lean completely on our understanding but as I’m experiencing lately – God has been really quiet and without using my heart, I wouldn’t keep going to church and try to find a way to serve God and the community.

The world can be a heartless place – all you have to do is look at a news feed or talk to someone. It’s hard to find and achieve balance between using my heart and leaning on God. How can you love others as you should love God and yourself without using and trusting your heart?!

There is so much conflict for me with how we are taught to operate in this world. On the one hand we are taught to turn inward and find God and wisdom. There is emphasis on prayer and meditation which comes from within and then flows out. On the other hand we are taught that our inner selves are unreliable and inherently bad . We are taught to look outside ourselves for guidance and wisdom. This was what I learned in AA and all the church’s I’ve been to. I was taught I’m not trustworthy on my own. How can be turning inward to where the Holy Spirit is supposed to be bad? Where does the Holy Spirit within us reside? Where does our souls energy reside?

I am still learning and have to trust God will show me his truth.

I guess I don’t like to hear that on my own I’m not a good person. I have spent a lot of my life in therapy to deal with low self esteem issues! That’s probably not what is intentioned in todays message but that’s what I heard and keep hearing. That’s the tough job of a Pastor I guess – sometimes to tell us not what we want to hear but need to hear? Pastor Jason said it was a hard sermon for him to write and I can see why!

One of my drawings – this was during one of my more creative phases

Acts 2 : 2-4

The Holy Spirit Comes at Pentecost

2 When the day of Pentecost came, they were all together in one place. ²Suddenly a sound like the blowing of a violent wind came from heaven and filled the whole house where they were sitting. ³They saw what seemed to be tongues of fire that separated and came to rest on each of them. ⁴All of them were filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak in other tongues^[a] as the Spirit enabled them.

5 May 2023 Direction

May 5, 2023 by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, drawing, Health, Home, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

What gives you direction in life?

Hello to you. Hard to believe it’s Friday again. Today is the celebration of Cinco Demayo and my exe in-laws 44th wedding anniversary. It’s so rare that people stay together that long. Even though I’m no longer married to their son I still consider them to be family. Once I love you it takes a lot for me to stop loving you. They are good people!

Todays prompt makes me think. I have never really had a direction in my life other than wanting to be a good person but it’s not been easy. Wanting to please God has flitted through my life, not to displease my family and friends has also been a reason for a direction. As I’ve mentioned before, as a young child and teenager I wanted to be famous but let go of that when I saw what fame does to peoples lives. Another primary direction has been not wanting to be forgotten. Since I never had children I have no one to pass my legacy on to.

A primary director, the Holy Spirit, seems quiet if not silent in my life. For so many years I felt I had a close connection. I could write, sing, draw, paint and make jewelry and other things. It’s probably just my being in an in between place right now. I think it’s also the medication I’m on that prevents mania from happening. Taking Lithium is different than taking Depakote and Zyprexa. I kind of miss the creativity and spirituality that comes with being manic. I think another reason for the lack of direction is the fact I’m still healing from my wounds these past couple of years. I am trying to stay open to God – to the Holy Spirit. I don’t think God is done with me yet!

A drawing I did back in 2015. I named it 7712 but I remember thinking of the title “Waiting” for it. I miss drawing like this – it’s like my creativity spigot is completely closed.

Proverbs 3:5-6New International Version

⁵Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
⁶in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight.

2 May 2023 Camping

May 2, 2023 by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, drawing, history, Home, Nature, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Have you ever been camping?

Hello to you. How are you doing? I’m just waking up. I had problems getting to and staying asleep last night. My Aunt is coming over in a bit to do a fitting on the dress I bought for the wedding this month. She’s taking it in a little bit. They didn’t have a 2x size so it’s a little big on me.

Todays prompt makes me think of good childhood memories of camping. I used to go with my grandparents Schmidt and can remember going with my babysitter Mary Tennessen one time. With my grandparents there was fishing and swimming. Sitting out at night and there being tons of frogs. I can remember my Grandpa scaring me through the window with a fish he caught! One of my favorite memories was of Grandma taking me swimming and there being little fish nibbling my toes. With the Tennessens I remember a May fly hatching and thousands of them were attracted to the inside lights of the camper! I haven’t been camping since those days.

As I’ve gotten older I have become a creature of comforts. Not really a camping girl! I like watching videos of people living out of their vans and RVs – having the comforts of home while traveling and visiting nature. It’s pretty amazing to see how creative people are!

29 April 2023 Discussion

April 29, 2023 by saymber, posted in animals, Bipolar life, drawing, Home, Mental Health, Nature, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

What topics do you like to discuss?

Hello to you. How are you today. I woke up earlier than normal which was a good thing. My kitchen sink area was full of ants again. I am having natural pest control people come out Monday to give me an estimate. I could just go buy some product from the store but want an expert to do it. This way the problem won’t reoccur. I don’t like poison! I’m glad they have developed natural solutions!

Todays prompt is a good one. As you know from my blog here I like to discuss a wide range of topics but have my favorites. I enjoy discussing spirituality, mental health, animals and just nature in general. All these topics are connected for me.

John 13:34New International Version

³⁴“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.

Whenever I have had discussions with women who believe in God and go to church they have told me it’s about having a relationship with God not religion. That’s how it is for me. God is in everything. It’s really kind of amazing to look at the world with God inspired eyes – so many miracles. Like this spring watching so many flowers and trees springing forth with life. Babies from two legged and four being born. There is hope in these things – topics.

A drawing I did when I lived in Alvarado TX. I used to go to a pond there and pray. I haven’t been drawing like this in a long time. The inspiration and creativity gets kind of stifled when I’m medicated.

One of my favorite drawings I did I called Seeing the Beginning

A very spiritual drawing from back in 2012

I did this drawing and later there was a picture that came out of what Jesus may have looked like that looked just like this drawing.

7 December 2022 Creativity

December 7, 2022 by saymber, posted in animals, Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, drawing, Health, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you . Hope this finds you well. I’m struggling with creativity and medication. I’ve found that when I am on strong medication I can’t think as clearly as I normally can. My drawing and writing skills are impaired. I am having to choose between mania and sedation I guess. I choose reality – sanity and if that means sedation then that’s what has to happen.

My drawing is primitive but heart felt – love my boy his 8th bday is in a couple days

3 December 2022 God Walks Beside You

December 3, 2022 by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, drawing, Spirituality and Religion, Writing and blogging

Walking has become difficult but I will not lose faith in God walking with me

I walked to the Woman’s Christmas gathering today at Grace House. It was difficult but I made it and there were nice ladies there ! I didn’t stay long as there were quite a few people and my senses got overwhelmed.

1 December 2022 What you praise you increase

December 1, 2022 by saymber, posted in books, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, trust, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you. Todays message from A Woman’s Spirit is really good:

What you praise you increase – Catherine Ponder

Getting trapped in negativity is far too easy. When we get stuck, we soon are overwhelmed with shame. When we’re feeling miserable, we can be certain no one else is enjoying our company either.

It may feel impossible to break out of this painful cycle. Some of us may become complacent in it, yet we recognize that some women seem to experience much more peace and joy than ourselves. What do they do that’s different? Careful observation reveals how accepting they are of others. They can be serene because they aren’t invested in how someone else lives. This is the Serenity Prayer in action.

The easiest step in becoming like these women we admire is to begin praising what we do like in others. The more we praise their positive qualities, the less we’ll focus on those parts we’d like to change. The miracle is that our inattention to the negative qualities dissipates them.

I will praise, not criticize, everyone today. It’s a decision , nothing more. My friends will benefit, but I’ll benefit even more.

11 November 2022 Veterans Day

November 11, 2022 by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, history, Home, human rights, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Not my best but have to get back into practice

Hello to you. Hope this finds you well. Today is Veterans Day. A day that exists because of great sacrifices of so many men and women living and dead. I always say the best way to thank me for my service is to try and make it so there are fewer veterans….more peace and less war. I don’t know if I will ever see that but that is my wish for the world!

31 May 2022 Seventy-nine

May 31, 2022May 31, 2022 by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, drawing, dreams, history, Home, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Music, Nature, photography, Spirituality and Religion, trust, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Drawing I did of my Dad and his Mom Irene many years ago

Hello to you. How are you today? I hope you are doing ok. It’s been rough here but I’m doing better. Last night I tried to sleep without extra meds and was doing pretty good until I woke up after a weird dream. It started with seeing my phone and an image on it like from the group Anonymous. Then I was sitting with someone watching tv. The tv flickered and that same image appeared on the tv screen! What woke me up was hearing a scary voice saying, “no need to alert the authorities.” My brain doing weird stuff again lol!

Anyhew…. today is my Dad’s 79th birthday! Wow! It’s hard to believe but he and I used to joke that he was going to live as long as Moses! That’s like 120! If he and I were together today we would be dueling with our forks over Mom’s chocolate pudding dessert. The past couple of years have been hard on him but he is a survivor – something he and Mom always taught me to be! I’m missing him today. I miss his hugs! There is something about a hug from your Dad. I just felt so loved and safe when we hugged….the worlds noise and cares couldn’t reach me for a little bit. I love you Dad! ❤️

Many years ago, when I was still in Junior High, I was in an advanced writing program . They liked analogies I wrote. This one I wrote thinking of my Dad:

“An open window in spring is like the loving arms of a father.”

John 15:9New International Version

⁹“As the Father has loved me,^(A) so have I loved you. Now remain in my love.

https://youtu.be/oCE4VWKY5YI – happy birthday from alfalfa (little rascals)