Category: Home

10 December 2021 Progress Not Perfection

by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, Home, Mental Health, Social media, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging
No plans today

Hello to you. How are you doing today? Link and I got out of bed late today. I just didn’t want to get up. My sleep patterns are all messed up for some reason. I was up til after 12 last night . I wonder if it’s because I watch stuff on my phone so late .

Last night I was on Twitch doing some self therapy and actually got a viewer that wasn’t my family or a friend! He was a young man from the desert and he was just needing someone to talk to about loss. He expressed feeling trapped in his life. So young to have these feelings but I truly understand it. What happened last night is exactly why I’m continuing on with the channel. Even to reach one or two people and help them not feel alone with what they are going through is reason enough. I asked him how he found my channel and he said he searched under the word depression. I’m up to 4 followers now! Progress!

I don’t have any plans today. I need to do some adulting like getting groceries but I don’t want to. I think I will go tomorrow. The leaves I raked up are covered with snow from last night – so much for that project !! The sun through my front windows feels good. May be later Link and I will get a walk in.

“I hope you know that you are one of a kind, cast in flesh with love in mind. In all creation there is just one precious you…..with this knowledge I wonder what will you do?”

Twitch channel: jwygant

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9 December 2021 Links Birthday

by saymber, posted in animals, Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, Home, Mental Health, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging
“Today is my birthday I’m 7!”

Hello to you from here…how are you?! Today we are celebrating Links 7th birthday. There is even sunshine which feels so nice ! He likes sunning himself by the front door.

“Little sun beam thank you for your light. Your loving presence shines in my heart both day and night. Today we celebrate everything that is you……my precious little baby boo.”

Hello !

I can feel today is one of those “push” days. I didn’t get to sleep til after 2 am. Just not firing on all cylinders. Thank God for Link. He gives me a reason to get up each day!

8 December 2021 Wednesday In The Clouds

by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, Home, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you. How are you? The sun is trying to peek through the clouds- even a little bit of sunlight helps.

The sun is trying to peek through the clouds!

No plans for today. My mind is drifting like the clouds in sky….. not sure where to land. I’ve been thinking about painting again. Just have to make the commitment and buy the stuff! What I’m worried about is that I will rush things and be left with a bunch of shitty paintings not even I want lol! That has happened before! I will see how things go with the colored pens first I think.

Not sure what’s going on in this one

“We are all just travelers riding the waves of time.”

3 December 2021 Crap House (Gingerbread House Kit)

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Home, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello! How are you doing tonight? Today was a good day – made much brighter by my friend who came over and spent some time with Link and I. She is one of Links favorite special friends! We love her so much!

She brought over a gingerbread house kit for us to put together. We listened to Christmas music and did our best lol! The kit looked like this:

They make it look so easy

Well we both agreed we ended up with a house that was crap lol! The kit didn’t even have all the materials in the picture. There was supposed to be a box of Dots candy and all we got was an empty box! We did the best we could with the inferior materials provided. “T” said its like making mud pies but for adults! Our house came out like this:

For those familiar with the baking show Nailed It – we definitely nailed it on this house !

She left the house with us so now I officially have one Christmas decoration out AND I wrote out 4 Christmas cards today! Omg I’m doing Christmacy stuff!! God has it figured out for me! Just keep doing the next right things!

3 December 2021 Good Morning

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Home, Mental Health, Music, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Check out Morning coffee with Jackie 3 December 2021 https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1222885645

Good morning how are you? If you woke up on the wrong side of the bed I would ask you one question: what are you grateful for today? Just one thing! I have a long list!

Last night I tried to tune my lap harp and busted one of the strings! I saw how to fix it with my mind but when I actually tried to do it – nope! On the video today I played Brahms Lullaby – had all the strings to do that one. Do you play an instrument? I know for some, their voice is their instrument!

Looking forward to seeing my friend today and putting a gingerbread house together. More things to help me get into the spirit of things! How are things going for you with the holidays?

1 December 2021 Morning

by saymber, posted in animals, Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, drawing, Health, Home, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Check out Morning coffee with Jackie 1 December 2021 https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1221118106

Good morning to you from here I hope this finds you well. How are you?

A lot going on in my drawing today. There is a plan unfolding I just have to keep taking the next steps! Metatron’s cube is large and in charge.

Not sure what the plan is for today. I managed to navigate my way through Ridleys this morning and got groceries. I miss having Kyle go and get them. He was such a great shopper. I picked up some Christmas cards so I could work on those we shall see!

“Everywhere I go I hope to see you. So many faces in new places. I look at each one and find only pieces of you.”

I had to do a couple takes on the video today. It’s all impromptu….hopefully if you can watch it there will be something for you. Sometimes it’s nice to have company.

30 November 2021 Evening

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Health, Home, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging
Evening here in Middleton ID

Hi there! How are you? It’s 6:23 pm here as I write to you. It’s dark and Link and I are cuddling on the couch. I’m watching streams on Twitch – Infoxczar is a magic channel pretty cool. I don’t do magic on my channel May be I should learn lol! It’s fun to see live entertainment….Jack is fun.

Today my Aunt talked to me about her friends daughter who is bipolar. She apparently is refusing medication and is paranoid as hell. Her parents are living in a 55 plus community and they have been letting her live with them . Neither she or them have anyplace to go if the property owner decided to evict them. Apparently the girl keeps calling the cops. Speaking as a bipolar, what this family is going through is so tough! One of the hardest aspects of loving someone with this condition is keeping them on their medications.

Just found out my cousins daughter is going in for an emergency hysterectomy tomorrow ! I can remember getting mine and it took some time to heal. I was stupid. Your not supposed to do any heavy lifting and my ex and I tried carrying a small couch home from a furniture store up the street from where we were living. I pray everything goes well for her. She has diabetes so there is that to consider with the surgery.

The friend I just reconnected with recently lost her mom to Alzheimer’s and dementia in October. She’s really struggling with it while being a wonderful mom, wife and student. The holidays will be rough for her. She is strong in her faith in God and that is helping her walk through her grief.

People have stuff going on!! It seems like as soon as one hurdle is put in front of us another equal or more challenging hurdle is put in its place! I’m kind of in the in between place right now. I had a lot of “stuff” happen all within a short period of time. Love conquers the deepest darkness. I am so grateful to love and be loved. The fall I took could have been so much harder.

If you pray could you pray for the people I have mentioned here? For privacy reasons I don’t want to put their names here. I hope everything goes ok for all of them !

Thank you for spending some time with me here.

29 November 2021 Good Morning

by saymber, posted in animals, Health, Home, Leading Life by Example, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Check out this video Morning coffee with Jackie 29 November 2021 https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1219285881

Hi there. This morning I had the privilege of chatting with an old friend and it just made my whole day! She is the only friend I still have from my military days. I’m so blessed to have her!

I was chatting to myself and she popped up. I have a follower!! It was so exciting to see that this morning! I was starting to question myself!

In awhile I have my therapist appointment and I’m looking forward to that. Lots to talk about! I AM HOME…..yes! My friend reiterated that message too. Be at home in your own skin before you bring somebody else into your life. I’m sure God has a plan in all the little pieces that are floating about me right now….fragments of time.

I hope this finds you well today. What are you grateful for? I’m grateful to have been able to reconnect with my friend. I’m grateful for my new friend and my family…my sweet Link. I’m grateful for me still getting to be on this plane of existence. Even if you are really having trouble I hope you can find something to be grateful for!

Drawing for today:

This is my drawing processing my healing session yesterday .

26 November 2021 Hello

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Home, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, technology, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hi there! How are you? How’s your day been going? I’m sitting here cuddled with Mr. Link. It’s been a gray and overcast day. I haven’t really been outside. I will be going out this evening to see the Christmas lights in Caldwell. I will need to dress warm as it’s been getting a lot cooler here.

I did another Twitch video today. It’s about Links origin story. It came out ok but not all in one take. I haven’t been able to figure out how to delete videos yet lol!! I’m not sure about this video making stuff! The more I watch other streamers the more less prepared I feel. I guess the most important thing is to keep being myself and work with what I have. My channel is jwygant.

My thanks to all of you that continue with me on this journey I’m on – especially my Auntie!! You are such a beautiful and awesome cheerleader ! The encouragement helps so much but I also appreciate feedback on how I can do better!

21 November 2021 Infantile

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Health, history, Home, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, trust, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello . Ugh!! I wasn’t going to write again today. I have been having a rough day on my own. The best way to describe what I’m experiencing is imagine an infant wrapped up in a blanket in a crib screaming. You try feeding the infant and that quiets the child for a few minutes. You put the baby back in the crib. They start screaming again. You give them some milk….same thing more screaming. You try singing, reading, rocking, dangling their favorite toy in front of their face….. nothing but more screaming. Finally you pick up the child and hold them and speak softly in soothing tones….at last there is peace.

There is a part of me way deep inside that is the infant I described. Even after 53 years I still can’t completely soothe “Baby Jackie!” It is so tiresome trying to parent an infant trapped inside my own body! I just can’t seem to please her and if I do it isn’t for long. “We” are chronically lonely.

When my Mom took her own life, it feels like she took a part of me with her. I was too young to know her but there must be a part of me that did. A part of me that just can’t seem to find lasting comfort with life in this world without her. I try! I really try but it’s on days like today that remind me I have to keep at it! When you are a mother to your own soul your work is never done.

Sigh…..I hope something here resonates. I’d love to hear from you and your story.