Hello to you. It’s a hot Friday afternoon – 97 degrees but feels hotter. At least it’s a dry heat!Today has been kind of rough for me. Even with taking the Olanzapine (generic Zyprexa) I have been kind of anxious. I would normally take a walk to help alleviate the anxiety but I have been having pain in my lower back and it has prevented me from walking as much. I’ve been using a topical pain relief called Biofreeze but it wears off quickly. I’m afraid to lose the ground I’ve made by walking to lose weight!
Last night before bed I got to thinking it’s been a long time since anything has been said about unidentified aerial phenomena (UAP). Before the election there was all kinds of coverage about it and then the election happened and then nothing! Was it all just a distraction? I was really hoping we were finally going to get some transparency! Wishful thinking right?! I looked to see if there was any current news and most of the articles were from late last year. The fervor of coverage seems to have risen and fallen. What do you think is going on? I am starting to believe whatever momentum that was being made has been squished by the flurry of other activity coming out of the White House. I have been waiting most of my life for the truth to come out about this topic!
Some of the objects seen were like this passage out of Ezekiel:
As I looked at the living creatures, I saw a wheel on the ground beside each creature with its four faces. This was the appearance and structure of the wheels: They sparkled like topaz, and all four looked alike. Each appeared to be made like a wheel intersecting a wheel.
Hello to you. Hope this finds you well. It’s another hot day here in Idaho as I write to you – 91 degrees! I walked about a mile this morning after I got up. I’m trying to walk every day and offset the side effects of the medication I’m taking. Both the Depakote and Olanzapine are known to contribute to weight gain. I need to lose about 100 lbs! I’m tired of carrying all this extra weight.
I wanted to share a praise about how I felt yesterday. I haven’t felt that good in over a month! I finally got relief from anxiety! The Olanzapine (generic Zyprexa) has been making all the difference. The side effect of drowsiness has lead me to restful naps and sleep at night. I hope this lasts!
Oh! I had a very vivid short dream about mosquitos last night. I dreamt some really big ones landed on me and my trying to stop one that had a body that was like a syringe from some man’s neck. When I went to flick it away, some of the fluid in its body got in my mouth – that woke me up! It was like a genetically modified insect. Weird dream! I wonder where that came from?!! I think it’s from hearing about huge mosquitos at the detention center in Florida.
A prayer:
Dear Lord Jesus I pray for this world and all of the life within it. I pray for all the sick, the hungry, the poor and those who are lost in this world because they don’t know you or refuse to surrender to your loving care. I pray for all the lives human beings share this world with and that there can be an end to cruelty and neglect of our fellow animal brothers and sisters. I ask all this in your precious name Jesus. Amen.
Hello to you. Hope this finds you well. I just wanted to give out a praise for answered prayers and God showing me his love through my family the past couple of days. As I mentioned in my previous blog I ran out of Olanzapine and it had been a couple of weeks. I was starting to have a real hard time using Benadryl to get me through. Well after some phone calls today my beautiful friend (my cousins wife) Tawna offered to drive me to the Boise VA to get lab work and pick up refills. Wow! That meant everything! Tawna is another person in my life that God works through and has for quite some time. We enjoyed having time to visit as with her busy life we don’t get to see eachother as much as we would like. The visit to the VA in Boise went really smoothly and took no time at all. Very friendly people there! We got a dose in me and went to our new Dairy Queen for lunch which was really nice and took a little walk. She visited with Link and I for a bit on my porch before she left. I love being with her!
I found out the reason my Dr. has been reluctant to up the dose of Olanzapine is because there are a lot of negative side effects the higher the dosage like weight gain and blood sugar for example. He upped my daily dose by taking it two times a day instead of just once which isn’t too much. I noticed today that it relaxed me quite a bit. With being Bipolar there is a fine line between being high and being low. Without the Olanzapine I was running fast and it’s very uncomfortable!
Bottom line today – God hears our prayers and uses us to help eachother! So blessed!
From my Aunt Ruth today:
“He remembered us in our weakness. His faithful love endures forever.”
Psalm 136:23 (NLT)
Lord, I am so grateful that nothing is impossible for You. Even when I feel overwhelmed by events going on around me. When I feel weak, defeated, helpless, or hurting I am not alone. You already knew I would be here and You continue to show me that You can handle anything. Nothing is a surprise to You! Today, please forgive me for the time that I have not trusted in You. Give me the courage to do Your will and show me how I can glorify Your Name. Thank You for always being there especially when I need You most! Jesus’ Name, my Lord, my God, Amen.
Hello to you. It’s a nice cool morning after a late afternoon thunderstorm yesterday. I got one walk in already! Sparklight, my WiFi provider, is down this morning. Apparently it’s a big outage with no word when it will be back up. Bummer!
This morning is another morning without Olanzapine (the generic for Zyprexa). What happened is I ran out before the next scheduled refill and have been taking Benadryl to get me through. Benadryl is a poor substitute and it wears off quickly plus it gives me the jitters sometimes! My next call with my psychiatrist I need to talk to him about the refill schedule and find out why it’s on a schedule like it is. I don’t have the same problem with refills for the Depakote I’m also taking for my Bipolar condition.
Philippians 4:13. “For I can do everything through Christ Jesus, who gives me strength.”.
Who is the most famous or infamous person you have ever met?
Hello to you. I’m trying to get help with my medication. I’ve been taking more than I have been prescribed and am almost out again. I have just been so anxious and the olanzapine is the only thing that works to help calm me. I might have to go back in to the walk in clinic which sucks as I have to get someone to take me.
The most famous person I have had contact with is Jonathan Rhys Meyers and his wife Mara Lane. I sent him a fan letter and they responded. Which is very rare. The other famous person I saw at an airport was Lyle Alzado of the Oakland Raiders. The team came and sat in the restaurant my ex and I were sitting in. They were so big! Lyle was at his best – before he was sick from steroids. I knew as soon as he was walking by that “he was somebody!”
I need to get better about this!
Philippians 4:6-7 NIV
6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
What change, big or small, would you like your blog to make in the world?
Hello to you. How are you? I’m just off of a video conference with my medicine doctor. We are doing some changes to accommodate for sleep and weight gain. He thinks we need to switch out the olanzapine for Haldol and he wants to add Ambien as needed at night for sleep. I keep waking up in the night. Last night it was 11, 1 and 4 am! We are still seeking the right combination.
What kind of influence do I hope for by doing this blog? My hope has always been that if I reach and help at least one person – even if it’s just me – then I have accomplished my mission! There are a lot of people in the world like me that feel alone and bereft of any kind of support. Look at what Sinead O’Connor went through while she was alive? !! Then she dies mysteriously and the world all the suddenly cares! Her story is an all too common one for people diagnosed with mental illness. Love and try to understand – be empathetic and compassionate while the person is here among the living! Don’t wait til they are gone. In many cases too soon!
1 Peter 5:7New International Version
7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.
Write about a random act of kindness you’ve done for someone.
Hello to you. How are you? I’m feeling pretty good. I spoke with my doctor yesterday and we worked out a plan. I will be doubling my dose of Depakote (1000mg) and going back to 10 mg of the Olanzapine at night. I’m not going to be taking the Abilify. I will also have the olanzapine for as needed as sometimes that happens. I was grateful he called me back! It felt like an answered prayer as I was feeling pretty left out there. Prayer said out loud in a group really works fast!
I like todays prompt but I can’t remember specific times I’ve done it! It’s a combination of it being a long time since I’ve had a *mission and being taught not to toot your own horn! Don’t let your left hand know what your right hand is doing kind of thing. I’m sure I’ve done good things but I’m so in the moment I forget later what I’ve done. When I was younger and had more energy I used to do a lot more – my ex and I liked helping people together. On my own I can remember paying someone’s toll. When I was working with the homeless I can remember giving them a ride a couple times. I remember my ex telling me a couple stories. He helped a guy at a gas station with a ride and once he was at the video game store and the person in front of him was short a dollar. He paid the dollar. Well that very same day I was cutting the lawn guess what blew into the yard? A dollar bill!
*When I talk about a mission I’m talking about those times when I’ve spontaneously decided to go somewhere and it’s like a God thing. I’m exactly where and when I’m supposed to be there. It’s usually meeting someone who needs me or that person will have a message for me.
Matthew 6:3New International Version
3 But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing,
I was looking through my spiritual playlist on my YouTube channel and this was at the top. Dr. Emoto’s work with water is very inspiring:
What traditions have you not kept that your parents had?
Hello there – how are you? Last night I decided to see if it’s the abilify that is causing me to be anxious and run fast – affect my sleep. I took two Depakote instead – sure enough I was able to sleep and feel like I rested. I think my body is used to it. The abilify makes me feel too high. I need to talk to my doctor about all this. I called and left a message for the pharmacist that gave me tapering off instructions from the olanzapine which I wasn’t able to do because I ran out of it and they didn’t refill it. Hopefully she will call me back today.
Todays prompt makes me think of Christmas. My parents and my ex and I used to have a tradition of telling each other what specifically we wanted for Christmas and that’s what we would get. My Mom used to send holiday treats up until a year ago or so. With Dad being in a nursing home things have changed and understandably so. We don’t exchange gifts anymore – just cards. Since moving here to Idaho, I have been indoctrinated into new traditions for the family here. They are similar to what I grew up with but slightly different. They do a white elephant gift exchange where everyone brings a gift of $25 or more and they do a trade.
Psalm 18:1-2New International Version
1 I love you, Lord, my strength.
2 The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield[b] and the horn[c] of my salvation, my stronghold.
I love You, Lord For Your mercy never fails me All my days, I’ve been held in Your hands From the moment that I wake up Until I lay my head Oh, I will sing of the goodness of God
And all my life You have been faithful And all my life You have been so, so good With every breath that I am able Oh, I will sing of the goodness of God
I love Your voice You have led me through the fire In the darkest night You are close like no other I’ve known You as a Father I’ve known You as a Friend And I have lived in the goodness of God (yeah)
And all my life You have been faithful (oh) And all my life You have been so, so good With every breath that I am able Oh, I will sing of the goodness of God (yeah)
‘Cause Your goodness is running after It’s running after me Your goodness is running after It’s running after me With my life laid down I’m surrendered now I give You everything ‘Cause Your goodness is running after It’s running after me (oh-oh)
‘Cause Your goodness is running after It’s running after me Your goodness is running after It’s running after me With my life laid down I’m surrendered now I give You everything ‘Cause Your goodness is running after It keeps running after me
And all my life You have been faithful And all my life You have been so, so good With every breath that I am able Oh, I’m gonna sing of the goodness of God (I’m gonna sing, I’m gonna sing)
‘Cause all my life You have been faithful And all my life You have been so, so good With every breath that I am able Oh, I’m gonna sing of the goodness of God Oh, I’m gonna sing of the goodness of God
Hello to you. It’s 89 degrees here as I write to you. I was going to sit outside and write but it’s too hot!
My thoughts today turn to thinking about keeping life fresh. Lately my life has been feeling like Ground Hog Day. Very little deviation from routine. Sometimes I will be ready to do my daily sit ups and wonder if I already did them! Inside of me I am wanting more but my body is resisting. What keeps happening is I get this fullness in my ears and I will feel anxious and hypersensitive to my body. The Mal de Barque stuff. My lower back has not been my friend either. I try to walk and I feel like a weeble wobble huffing and puffing almost the whole walk in pain. The only thing that seems to help the hypersensitivity is taking the olanzapine right now. I will be starting to do the taper off of it starting tomorrow. My doctor wants to taper me off of it because it’s notorious, along with the Depakote, for causing weight gain. We are going to try Abilify (aripiprazole) instead of Olanzapine – I hope it works as well for anxiety, weight gain and hypersensitivity.
I try to stay in the understanding that I am blessed to have the life I have even with it’s short comings! As I keep saying it’s not what I can’t do but what I can. Hopefully with the medicine change I will feel stronger and like I can do more to keep my life fresh.
I love seeing roses ready to bloom – especially the two tone onesSome big Pom poms – I think these are called goats beard
Psalm 147:3-5New International Version
3 He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. 4 He determines the number of the stars and calls them each by name. 5 Great is our Lord and mighty in power; his understanding has no limit.
Hello to you. How are you? I just got off the phone with the pharmacy through the VA. We decided to take me off the Metaformin as I’ve been having diarrhea taking it. She wants me to try Abilify and taper off of Olanzapine as the side effects of Olanzapine (Zyprexa) are weight gain and fatigue. Apparently Abilify is better about that. She is thinking may be of taking me off of Depakote eventually too – which would be nice. I’m so tired of this pharmaceutical cocktail business! In the end it will hopefully be worth it!
James 5:14-16 NIV
14 Is anyone among you sick? Let them call the elders of the church to pray over them and anoint them with oil in the name of the Lord. 15 And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise them up. If they have sinned, they will be forgiven.
To be 