7 Oct 2025 The Answer

October 7, 2025 by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Health, history, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Social media, Spirituality and Religion, Writing and blogging

Hello to you. I’m just back from a beautiful walk. The weather is just perfect! It felt good to walk off the lunch I had with Ruth and John at Burger King after Bible study. They are getting a new roof put on today. When I left them it looked like it was nearly done! Looked good!

Well my prayers were answered regarding yesterdays quandry about whether or not I should share my story here online. The answer from my family and Bible study was a resounding no. It’s just not safe or in my best interest to share so much personal information about myself online. I have already shared bits and pieces in previous blogs if people are curious about my journey. I think what happened when I got baptized was I had some layers of me stripped away. It really was a profound experience that is going to be with me for the rest of my life! It’s like being reborn in a way.

What’s interesting to note is how quickly Jesus answered my question of what to do. I have only been praying and my family has been praying about it for a couple of days. He used the people that love and care for me to give me my answer quickly. I truly believe from experience that believers are the bodies God uses to do his will. I also think the quick answer was to protect me and also give my Aunt Ruth peace of mind. She was really worried about me.

If it is only going to be like a journal it’s not handwritten- it’s on my phone using the notes application. My Aunt and I were trying to figure out if I should print it out or not. She thinks it should only be family that reads it. She is worried other people that aren’t family might treat me differently if they read it. I will continue to talk to Jesus about it as long as it’s on my mind.

Psalm 91:11New International Version

¹¹For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways;

Baptism- Symbol of New Life (Romans 6:3-4): Paul explains that being baptized into Christ means being united with him in his death and resurrection, so that, “just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, we too might walk in newness of life”.

6 Oct 2025 Safety in Sharing

October 6, 2025 by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, history, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you. I’m just back from a cool walk around the block. It’s really starting to feel and look like fall. Yesterday my Aunt and Uncle had me over for some cozy beef stew and a new episode of one of our favorite Britbox shows Sister Boniface. It was kind of sad as it seems like the show may be ending by how the episode ended.

The topic today is because I have finally, after many years, started putting to words my experiences as a Bipolar person. Specifically what has happened to me through manic episodes. I had started on it a year ago and picked it back up yesterday. It was like my brain just was dumping all kinds of memories. I could probably write a book there is so much! Anyhew I was talking about this thing I’m doing with my dear friend Tawna and she was wondering what I was going to do with it. I said I wanted to share it in my blog and she expressed concern. She suggested that may be I should get an impartial party to read it first – for safety’s sake. I just don’t know who. She suggested somebody like my Pastor Jason but he’s already got so much on his plate! What I need is an editor to read it and get it streamlined. I will continue to pray about it. I will say putting together all these things really stirred me up. Once I got started everything came back. I keep thinking that what I’ve been through wasn’t for no reason. I’ve been through so much these 57 years. It’s been about 23 years of those 57 of being Bipolar. Maybe sharing my story will help someone? How much is too much to share on social media? Your feedback is welcomed.

Matthew 24:27-31 (NIV):

“For the Son of Man will come with the glory of his Father in the company of his angels, and then he will reward everyone according to what they have done… “Then will appear the sign of the Son of Man in heaven. And then all the peoples of the earth will mourn when they see the Son of Man coming on the clouds of heaven, with power and great glory”.

25 Sept 2025 Dreaming of Spot

September 26, 2025 by saymber, posted in animals, dreams, Spirituality and Religion, Writing and blogging

Hello to you. As I write to you this evening I am remembering a vivid and very short dream I had last night with a dog I once owned named Spot. This is like the fourth or fifth dream she has been in since her crossing the rainbow bridge. The one last night was of her being very thirsty and sneaking a bite of a sandwich really fast. It was like a piece of tomato or something. She never looks exactly as she did when she was alive but I always know it’s her! So much energy! She was a rat terrier and just a beautiful dog. I miss her very much. The dreams help me feel like a part of her is still with me.

Revelation 21:1-4New International Version

A New Heaven and a New Earth

21 Then I saw “a new heaven and a new earth,”^[a] for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away,and there was no longer any sea. ²I saw the Holy City,the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband. ³And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Look! God’s dwelling place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. ⁴‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes.There will be no more death’^[b] or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”

22 Sept 2025 Follower of Christ

September 23, 2025September 23, 2025 by saymber, posted in history, human rights, In the News, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Nature, photography, Politics and Government, Spirituality and Religion

Good evening to you. I wasn’t going to touch this topic but after seeing this clip I had to share it. The Jesus I know and love isn’t the same one coming out of the White House and other parts of the country.

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZP8SbNxTn/ – Rev Peter Preble message about wanting to be called a follower of Jesus Christ vs a Christian because the label of Christian has been co-opted by the wrong people.

As the day draws to a close, I thank you dear Jesus for allowing me to walk with you tonight. With you in my life I am never truly alone. I love you and give you thanks for my life such as it is. Thank you! 🙏

21 Sept 2025 Strength in Weakness

September 21, 2025 by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, history, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Writing and blogging

Hello to you. I’m just home from church – today marks our 9th year anniversary as a church. The church has grown so much from even when I started coming. I sat with my friend Jeannie and her brother-in-law Roy who was having trouble getting around today. Pastor Keith Waggoner from the Nampa campus we came from gave a great sermon. Today’s message really resonated with me:

2 Corinthians 12:7-10New International Version

⁷or because of these surpassingly great revelations.Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. ⁸Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. ⁹But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. ¹⁰That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

I have been praying for God to heal me from what ails me for several years now and he has not moved. I believe that what is happening to me is similar to what Paul was talking about. If I was in perfect health I might not turn to God like I do. I might become conceited. God has walked with me through a lot – being bipolar, balance issues and chronic back pain. When I was in AA many years ago, he delivered me from alcoholism, chronic skin picking, smoking and bulemia. I have been through a lot in this life and God has been there every step of the way. Just because he hasn’t healed me completely doesn’t mean he’s absent. He has a plan!

Next Sunday I am being baptized. They have asked me to give a testimonial so I will work on that this week! God is moving in my life!

20 Sept 2025 Fall Is Coming

September 21, 2025 by saymber, posted in Animal Rights, animals, Bipolar life, history, Home, human rights, In the News, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Politics and Government, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello there. How are you? I’m just back from my evening walk – just one time around the big block today. My back continues to be a nuisance so I have to be careful. I have been feeling something in the air lately – fall is coming. There is an anticipation in the trees and the rest of nature. I love how cozy fall can make life seem. The warmer clothes come out. Hot cocoa with marshmallows gets made. A fire gets lit in the fireplace. Candles get lit. The days get shorter. All of these and more rituals of fall are coming. Do you like fall? The only thing I don’t like is having to take up leaves!

It’s easier to think about changing seasons than it is about what is happening to our world right now. I pray for our country and this world every day. I pray for our leadership at all levels as they are being challenged so greatly. I pray for our fire fighters, police and first responders. The world is a very dangerous place for them. I pray for the men, women and children trying to survive in war torn regions of this world. I pray for the poor, sick and homeless. I pray for all neglected and abused animals. Jesus we lift up this broken world to you – there are some things we cannot fix without your divine intervention. Have mercy on us – please hear our prayers!

Oh and I wanted to mention there have been a couple recent blips on the radar with regards to UAPs:

https://www.nbcnews.com/news/amp-video/mmvo247250501553

12 Sept 2025 Turning To God

September 13, 2025 by saymber, posted in Animal Rights, animals, Bipolar life, history, Home, human rights, In the News, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Politics and Government, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs

Hello to you. As I write to you tonight, I have a heavy heart. With the recent murders of Charlie Kirk and Iryna Zarutska and so many others that don’t make the headlines, it’s just a really sad time for America. It feels like every day we are being fed negative news. We can’t catch our collective breath! What I’m having to do is turn to God and pray for our country…for this world. I want to use my words here to lift up the spirits of those who intentionally or unintentionally visit my blog.

I would ask you reader what are you grateful for today? I am grateful for the savior who unconditionally loves me. When everything is dark there is light in Jesus and giving thanks. What we focus on the most gains the most power. I want to focus my personal power on the good in this world even though that is so hard to do right now.

My prayer for today:

Dear Jesus the people of this world need to know you now more than ever. I pray that those who are casting about and are lost will be lead to your loving and merciful light. I pray for the truth of what you taught us how to love one another, your creations and you would take center stage. I pray especially for the children that are the innocent in the affairs of adults. They should be able to go to churches and schools free from fear. I also pray for all animals that you would intercede for those being needlessly abused and neglected. Thank you holy father!

Mark 10:13-16New International Version

The Little Children and Jesus

¹³People were bringing little children to Jesus for him to place his hands on them, but the disciples rebuked them. ¹⁴When Jesus saw this, he was indignant. He said to them, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. ¹⁵Truly I tell you, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.” ¹⁶And he took the children in his arms,placed his hands on them and blessed them.

11 Sept 2025 Never Forget

September 11, 2025 by saymber, posted in Health, history, Home, human rights, In the News, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs

Hello to you. Today is the 24th year anniversary of 9/11/01 and I still can remember how surreal that day was. I was stationed at Peterson AFB in Colorado Springs and we were in the middle of a base exercise. I was sleeping when I got a call alerting me to what had happened. I turned on the tv and couldn’t believe what I was seeing! It looked like something from a movie not real life. When I went into work we kept the lights low and I can remember how shocked everybody was. It was like the world had ended! We huddled around eachother, cried and talked in hushed tones. Security was increased and we took turns on 12 hour shifts guarding our buildings. I can remember relearning how to knit during my shifts and making a blue blanket. Do you remember where you were?

I think, like many people did, that such a disaster would pull people together. For a time it did but gradually things went back to “normal.” It’s a little like what happened with Covid in 2020 – our country is still reeling in so many ways from that. The normal we seek has many people my age longing for the 80’s! The time before all the technology of today. Simpler and happier times.

The story of the Tower of Babel makes me think of 9/11:

Genesis 11:1-8New International Version

The Tower of Babel

11 Now the whole world had one language and a common speech. ²As people moved eastward,^[a] they found a plain in Shinar^[b] and settled there.

³They said to each other, “Come, let’s make bricksand bake them thoroughly.” They used brick instead of stone, and tar for mortar. ⁴Then they said, “Come, let us build ourselves a city, with a tower that reaches to the heavens, so that we may make a name for ourselves; otherwise we will be scattered over the face of the whole earth.”

⁵But the Lord came down to see the city and the tower the people were building. ⁶The Lord said, “If as one people speaking the same language they have begun to do this, then nothing they plan to do will be impossible for them. ⁷Come, let us go down and confuse their language so they will not understand each other.”

⁸So the Lord scattered them from there over all the earth, and they stopped building the city. ⁹That is why it was called Babel^[c]—because there the Lordconfused the language of the whole world. From there the Lord scattered them over the face of the whole earth.

10 Sept 2025 The Abyss

September 10, 2025 by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, history, In the News, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello there! How are you? I hope this finds you well. The back pain is back but I’m trying not to focus on it! I appreciate your prayers!

Last night I had a good telephone call with a friend and we talked about something I haven’t talked about here for awhile. It was about the abyss that exists in all of us that we often unsuccessfully try to fill with worldly things. When I was an alcoholic, I used alcohol to try and fill myself up. When I was a fan girl for a musician or actor I filled myself up with their music and films. It was all so fleeting! It was an obsession.

Millions of people are rabid fans of people like Yungblud, Lady Gaga, Ozzie Osbourne, and Taylor Swift. Back in the day for me it was Prince, David Bowie, Benedict Cumberbatch and Jonathan Rhys Meyers. I drew their images and followed everything they did. There works temporarily filled the void inside me. When David and Prince died it left a huge void in me and was part of one of my manic episodes. Davids music got me through so many hard times especially my teens. It was a couple years ago that I realized my fandom was akin to idol worship and I pulled the plug on all of it. There is only one king worthy of worship! Once I completely surrendered to Jesus nothing else mattered. I realized these celebrities were almost acting like they were Gods – trying to be immortal , omnipresent and making a lot of money off of their worshippers! They are famous because we give them our time and lots of money. So many young people worship these performers and when times get tough they fall back on worshipping these celebrities instead of God. The celebrities are tangible to them whereas God doesn’t seem to be.

Only one thing fits into the void inside of me and that is God….things of the Spirit. I’ve known this for quite some time but I wandered off several times. As human beings we want a tangible “Jesus”. Like with The Chosens Jonathan Roumies Jesus. He is currently bringing a tangible Jesus to us. It’s tempting to fall into the idol trap. No matter how many times he emphasizes that he’s an actor portraying Jesus there will be those who think he’s the second coming! It must be so hard to be him right now in a world that so wants and needs Jesus to return.

Since I have put Jesus in the abyss that is inside me I know that I am never completely alone. I can talk to him anytime. A tangible Jesus lives and breathes through the people he has surrounded me with. My family and friends are the body of Jesus in my life.

Exodus 20:3-6New International Version

³“You shall have no other gods before^[a] me.

⁴“You shall not make for yourself an image in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below. ⁵You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God,punishing the children for the sin of the parents to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me, ⁶but showing love to a thousand generations of those who love me and keep my commandments.

Matthew 25:34-40New International Version

³⁴“Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. ³⁵For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, ³⁶I needed clothes and you clothed me,I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’

³⁷“Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? ³⁸When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? ³⁹When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’

⁴⁰“The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’

8 Sept 2025 Doubts

September 9, 2025 by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Health, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you. It’s Monday again and a lot happened today. My back pain is creeping back – I was so hoping to be free of it completely! At least I had a day to know what it’s like not to have pain. I will stay in praise even though I’m disappointed.

I had a case of the nerves today. A company, Eco Landscaping, that has been coming out and killing weeds on my gravel, all the sudden jacked up their prices on me with no notice. I have tried calling and texting them and have gotten no response. USAA is handling a charge dispute for me about it. I’m really disappointed this happened as it means having to find another company to come out and provide the service.

The other thing today was I finally called The Cottages here in Middleton about visitation. This is where the doubts come in. The facility is split into two parts. They have the memory care unit where residents are supervised at all times and the other part where residents can come and go as they please. The part we did the Mothers Days baskets this year for was the memory care unit. For the memory care unit visitors are welcome but must be supervised at all times. The more I thought about it I just don’t feel comfortable going by myself to see people that are going to forget I was even there. When I lived in Alvarado Texas my ex and I use to volunteer at the Assisted Living locked ward they had there and some very uncomfortable things happened to us. It wasn’t good for us. With having my own mental health issues, I have to be careful with what I expose myself to. My Aunt, Uncle and cousin were there for me today to riddle things out. They had some suggestions of what I might be able to do. I want to be of service to Jesus but just am not sure how. As I get older, live alone, have physical limitations and am not as confident as I once was when I was married it’s hard to figure it out! May be by my sharing what I’m going through is a way I’m helping? May be writing, something I’ve done for so many years now, is a way to serve God? I appreciate your continued prayers on this!

James 1:6New International Version

⁶But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt,because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.