Hello how are you? I’m still nursing a cold and trying not to be a big baby about it. Lots of self talk and prayer today! I just want to be comfortable. My Aunts potato and broth soup is helping. What also helped is doing some chores and walking around. It’s been such a long time since I went through this!
I’m kind of worried about my appointment tomorrow – supposed to get my blood drawn. We will see how we are doing in the morning.
Hello to you and happy new year. My year is starting out with a case of the snuffles. I must have picked it up at the grocery store as that’s the only place I’ve been for the past couple of days. It’s a beautiful sunny day here but really cold – only 15 degrees! For the next few days it’s going to be bitter cold here. It’s on days like this that I miss living in the south!
I’ve been exploring with my color markers this morning . I’ve never been real confident with color but I’d like to change that – just takes practice! Kind of like what’s been happening with my shirts. I’m exploring color and shapes. Some of what comes forth is childish and basic but that’s ok. It’s a journey I’m on. I definitely have a unique style!
Not sure what I will be doing today besides trying to get well. Thank goodness I have Link to keep me company!
I decided to paint on my last practice shirt today. There is a lot of symbolism wrapped up in the design I came up with. I imagine someone coming up to me while I’m wearing this and just getting lost in what’s going on. That’s my objective is to make art that is a feast for the eyes and helps shield me as an empath.
Working on this today helped me deal with having the beginnings of a cold! Darn it! With as little contact as I make with the public I still managed to catch a cold! Ah but this too shall pass!!
“In the light and shadow I see your soul, I see how this life on you has taken its toll. Take a deep breath and try to smile. Push away the troubles for awhile. Another year has begun anew. Fill this moment with cerulean blue.”
Hello friend. How are you doing today? It’s still morning and frosty here as I write 22 degrees! The sun is trying to peak out which helps. I think I have gotten myself a mild cold but I’m not going to focus on it too much. The coffee is soothing my throat.
I pulled out the last blank t- shirt I have and it will be a perfect canvas. As it is right now it looks like bleach might of got on it and something else that couldn’t come out. I can use my art to hide those flaws and enjoy wearing the shirt again. The drawing today is me thinking about what I will draw on the shirt. I’m thinking one of my whisp people with a rainbow ribbon. I did a canvas painting like that once as a commission piece for my therapist a couple of years ago.
Looks like I will be alone for New Years Eve and New Years. It’s ok as I’ve never been big on the holiday and if I’m truly sick I don’t want to spread it!
Last night I had a nice Twitch livestream visit with a new follower from Brazil. I keep connecting with young men from overseas. When we get a chance to visit it’s usually way past their bed times! I’m always surprised that they want to talk to me out of all the bazillion channels there are on Twitch. Last night we talked a bit about religion and God. His family is into spiritualism. Apparently his mom tried church and it didn’t work out. I’m still finding my way myself. I like the relationship I have with God. It can be both a simple and complex relationship. As big as the entirety of existence to as small as a grain of sand.
We talked about Christianity and how you have to be saved…believe in Jesus or you will burn in hell. I always am left thinking how can such a large part of the world with their different belief systems be “wrong?” I looked up the percentages for religions and 31% are Christian while 25% are Muslim 16% are non religious and 15% are Hindu – as of 2020. There were 18 others – I found it using Google.
Something we didn’t talk about was free will. If God is all knowing of everything do we really have it? If there is a divine plan in all things I don’t believe we really have free will. Our path seems to be set before we are even born. Where was God when my Mom decided to take her own life? From what I read of her writings she loved God/Jesus more than anything. Where was God when my Grandpa decided to take his life? He was a loyal servant to God got so many years! Where was God when I attempted to take my life a couple of years ago? I had to remember I was bulemic and save myself – there was nothing and no one to save me but myself! The only thing I can think is God doesn’t interfere. He knew what I would do before I did it? He knew I would live to tell the tale may be to save someone else from doing the same thing? Much of my life has been like that. I make “mistakes” and share about it afterwards to help others. Is that part of why I still exist?
The question is still there and may be there is scripture or some kind of answer somewhere – Where is God when it comes to suicide?! According to my Catholic education suicide gets you put into purgatory and you can’t even have a church funeral.
Interesting paper I found about this subject : https://www.mdpi.com/2077-1444/12/11/987/htm –
by John Potter
Are there really that many lost souls? According to this paper 703,000 people a year?!! Where is God in all of that? Are all these people lost? There is no one living that truly answer that question not even the Pope!
I hope something here was helpful. If you or if you have someone in your life that is suicidal I hope you have a support system. I hope you have a relationship with a higher power. I hope you will choose life. I know it’s a struggle some days but you are not a mistake!
Hello to you. How has your day been? Today for me was mostly about rearranging snow. We sure got a lot of it. I decided to play a bit and made a snow Angel lol.
“Who is my family? Who are my friends? Who knows where the road begins….where it ends. This life makes wanderers…..explorers of us all. Starting and returning to a shape very small…curved hand in mouth to a suckling ball.”
Just back from getting Link and myself around the block. It’s only 26 degrees out yet! I wasn’t sure if we would go. Cabin fever won out!
Today I asked God for their company as I was having trouble being alone. I’m grateful for Link but he doesn’t speak human! Well the first thing we did was venture into the dreaded spare room aka storage room. It’s that time of year to get ready for 2022 by clearing out old files. With everything that has been going on to largely include avoidance, I was a couple years behind. There is still more to do in there but I at least got a start. God was definitely with me on doing that!
What came next was a lot more fun. We decided to paint another shirt. What we have come up with so far has a real tie-dyed feel to it. I have to let things dry to see if I want to add more paint.
Painting is very therapeutic but as I’ve mentioned before, the process goes so fast. Once I get started it’s already over! The same goes for when I draw something. As soon as the pen hits the paper I’m committed. No erasing…..Tadaaaaa!! Everything is a co-creation with God when it comes to my arts and crafts. When I overthink things is when I get something even a dumpster diver wouldn’t want. I have an attempt at painting Link that is horrible but I can’t bring myself to throw it out just yet. It doesn’t look like him at all!
There is a process to the craft of painting – rules – and I’m terrible about following them. Soooo it’s better for me to do shapes and abstract concepts. I used to spend hours pencil drawing portraits but I find I just don’t have the patience for it now. We just change through time and so do our arts and crafts. As we age our vision and coordination changes making it so doing what we always did a little more difficult.
Anyhew…..thank you as always for taking time for me!
Hello to you. How are you? Hopefully staying warm! It’s a balmy 22 degrees here as I write to you. Winter is definitely here. I’m so grateful Link and I have a warm shelter. Even as we near 2022 there are people without affordable housing.
So I rousted myself with some Heilung and my little drum this morning. My little drum circle idea rose and fell this year. It’s ok. I don’t regret buying the drum. It gets lots of use.
https://youtu.be/64CACoHNBEI – Heilung Norupo
“Primal beat of my drum and ancient calling, steam rises from my coffee…snow is falling. A warm hearth and home within my heart can be found. An echo of the beginning sound.”
As I sit here this morning I wonder where we are heading in this world. Where am I heading. Things are doing things…..I keep trying to stand still in time but it doesn’t work that way. How do I graciously embrace the inevitable? Lately I’ve been feeling like my mind is in an in between place. When I feel this way I don’t get to just live my life and move forward with it. It’s been a long time since I’ve been in the flow….that stream of existence where time doesn’t matter. Your doing what God put you here to do and that’s all you want to do! All you want to do is be in that “sweet spot” with God.
Sometimes when I’m writing I get the place I desire to be. It’s warm and safe. The words just flow and I don’t want it to end but it always does. I had these sort of feelings when I would sit outside in Texas and draw with chalk. I would sit outside for hours and just draw. I felt such a direct connection with God. What was nice is my drawings lasted until the rains came. Then I would have a fresh canvas. I used to draw spaceships that sailed off with the rains. Where I live now I don’t have a slab in the backyard to draw on. I just have a driveway in the front yard and I’m a little self conscious about doing my drawings there.
I believe God isn’t done with me yet. There is a reason I still exist. I have to remind myself that the reason(s) aren’t always big ones. One of my favorite Saints is Therese of Lisieux: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Th%C3%A9r%C3%A8se_of_Lisieux and the reason is because of how she believed in serving God in little ways. Every time I smell roses I think of her. We each have a part in Gods play. Some are major parts and some are very small but they are all important. Sometimes we are destined to live the little way and have to find peace with that.
I hope something here resonated!
Hello to you. Thank you for visiting me here today. I’m really having trouble collecting my thoughts. This is like try number 5 at trying to write to you! How are you holding up with the holidays?
I’m writing to you from my little life raft I’m sharing with Link aka tiny couch. It’s gray and wet outside and I’m feeling it. When it’s like this I get a mild case of depression. I know it will pass. When I feel this way I just want to be nurtured and there is nobody here to do it! I really miss having a special somebody to do life with. Part of me resists the reality of having to share life with someone again. The complications of everything involved with sharing a life with someone. Everyone tells me that when I find him or he finds me everything will just work itself out. My drawing today is me imagining God manifesting a special someone for me.
“I know your out there wandering around just about as lost as me….someday together we will be.”
Check out 23 December 2021 Gray Day chat https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1241648242
Hello to you. How is your day going so far? I am finally up and having some coffee. Looks like it’s going to be an overcast day!
Last night was fun! I got together with my friend Lisa. We tried to introduce her German Shepherd Millie who is a year old to my grumpy old man Link who is 7 and things didn’t go well. Link got so worked up that he pooped himself! Sigh! Millie had to be crated for the visit and listen to Link finding all her chewy bone stashes!
We got Chinese food from the Canton Cafe in Caldwell and watched Shang Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings. The food was really good and the movie was pretty good too. I enjoyed seeing another cultures story brought to life much like I did with Black Panther. What I enjoyed the most was seeing the most were the choreographed fight scenes that were like a dance and mythological beasts brought to life.
My friend Lisa makes pretty things and I had her make me a Mala necklace/bracelet to help me at night with winding my mind down. It’s made of amethyst beads:
I hope this finds you well and that you are enjoying the season.
I’m live on Twitch – Watch me at https://twitch.tv/jwygant
Hello to you – how are you? It’s morning as I write to you. The sun is out!! Yay!! The only bad thing is I can see how filthy my window is and I don’t have a ladder to reach it! I am left wondering how the people that sold me the house kept it so clean?! I’ll figure something out.
Yesterday I did some experimenting on my Twitch channel. I tried to take my viewers on a walk around my block but lost my WiFi signal shortly after I left my house. So that didn’t work. I was thinking of my parents when I did it as they haven’t seen where I live. I guess I would have to use something like a go pro and upload the video. Everything has its limitations.
On the stream last night something came to me. What came to me was to share my experience, strength and hope as if I were chairing an AA meeting. The holidays can be a very difficult time of year for folks that have addiction issues. I have experience with alcohol and food addiction. My experience with alcohol only lasted a couple of years but the anorexia and namely bulemia lasted into my thirties. I haven’t really talked about my journey with bulemia yet. It lasted such a long time!
Check out 16 December 2021 Evening visit https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1235501106
I bought some fabric paint online yesterday. I have several “blank” tshirts that I intend on painting. I want to explore having each one having a different variation of Metatrons cube. We will start with one and see how it goes. The thing with painting tshirts is I don’t have to find wall space for a painting – it’s wearable art. You wear it until it gets worn out.
I wanted to show you the rock my friend gifted me with – she painted it herself and I think it’s so pretty!
To be 