22 July 2025 Spirit

by saymber, posted in dreams, Spirituality and Religion

Hello to you. I hope your week is going well. Last night I dreamt a lot and I can only remember one of the dreams. It was about being with a young boy who reminded me of my ex husbands youngest brother named Cole. He had lost his father and his father wanted to comfort his son and decided to use me to do it. He came into my body which in past dreams used to scare me awake – but not this time. I reached out to the boy and hugged him and gave the fathers spirit peace. I could hear the sound I have heard before in what I call channeling dreams. I don’t know why I dreamt about that but it was interesting! It’s been awhile since I’ve had a dream about spirits.

John 14:16-17New International Version

16 And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another advocate to help you and be with you forever— 17 the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him,because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be[a] in you.

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20 July 2025 Answers in Affliction

by saymber, posted in Health, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion

Hello to you. It’s a bright and cool Sunday as I write to you – only 78 degrees! I am back from church – good messages I needed to hear today. We were in 2 Corinthians 1. What spoke to me was this part:

2 Corinthians 1:3-4New International Version

Praise to the God of All Comfort

3 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.

For going on 4 years I have been experiencing a pooling in my ears and balance issues as a result. I haven’t been officially diagnosed but I believe I have Mal De Debarquement Syndrome. It just won’t go away. I have had a brain scan and have seen an ear doctor and neither of them found anything. I am convinced this was triggered after being tased by police during a manic episode I had about 3 years ago. I had pooling in my ears but not the weeble wobbly sensation in my head. They say some kinds of trauma can trigger it. Every day I pray for healing but God has remained silent for a cure. I pray “let me be your miracle” and nothing has changed. Lots of people pray for me and still God has not moved. At least I am able to walk! I just have to pay close attention and I need to keep trying to lose more weight.

I comfort myself with passages like we read today. For some reason I am staying like this. May be so I can comfort others who have this affliction? For some reason God is not answering the prayers the way I am hoping. May be he has something else in mind!

For more info I got this from: https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/24796-mal-de-debarquement-syndrome-mdds

Mal de Débarquement Syndrome (MdDS)

Mal de débarquement syndrome (MdDS) is a rare vestibular disorder that makes you feel like you’re moving even when you’re not. MdDS is common after traveling, especially by boat. In most cases, MdDS symptoms go away within 24 hours. But they can linger for months or even years, in some instances.

18 July 2025 Gowen Field Visit

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs

Hello to you. Hope this finds you well and staying cool. As I write to you it’s a bright and sunny 94 degrees here in Idaho.

Today started out a little bit earlier than normal. One of my earth angels, my cousin Tony, came and picked me up so we could go to Gowen Field, which is near Boise, so I could update all my files to reflect that I’m divorced. We were blessed that their retiree affairs officer, Bill Fackler, was there to help me with my Survivor Benefit Program (SBP) and finance files to get them to reflect that I’m divorced. Unfortunately you have to update your SBP file within a year of being divorced to stop paying into it and it was 2021 that the divorce was final. At least we were able to get things updated. Bill was fantastic! He has been fishing a couple times with Tony so they got a chance to get caught up while we were there. I went the ID card office and was able to update my DEERs. DEERs is what is used for tracking dependents. It felt really good to get so much done in one place! The folks working there are really friendly and good at what they do. This trip was an answer to my prayers as I had been fretting about getting all this done for quite some time.

On the way back to my house, we stopped at the Sunrise Cafe for breakfast which included a much needed by my cousin, good cup of coffee. Emma, the manager was there – she remembers me when I go there! Another gal, Ria (spelling?)said hello as she remembered me too. There is a reason I love going to that place! It was nice having good company for a delicious breakfast. I had French toast and Tony got a huge pancake he could hardly finish. After breakfast we took a walk together which was nice too. He couldn’t stay long as he had a massage therapist appointment to get to. His back gives him trouble too. It was so nice to have time with Tony. He works a lot and doesn’t get much free time.

Link was happy I was home – he got a couple pieces of bacon which he devoured. I always save a piece or two for him. I kinda feel guilty eating bacon to be honest. I think it’s because there is so much cruelty with the raising and slaughtering of pigs! May be some day there will be a good substitute for the different kinds of meat we eat!

Dear Jesus I give you praise for this day. Thank you for how smoothly things went at Gowen Field. Thank you for Bill Fackler. I thank you for my family, especially my cousin Tony. I pray for Eli who is Tony and Tawna’s little 15 year old dog who is having back and other problems. I pray for all world leaders at all levels of government to have wisdom. I pray for all the animals in captivity that they know kindness and compassion. I pray for the homeless, the sick, the hungry and the poor that they receive relief and mercy. Lastly I pray for the lost who don’t know you or just don’t believe in you Jesus – show them the way. Amen!

16 July 2025 The Now

by saymber, posted in animals, Bipolar life, Home, In the News, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs
My puppy faced boy Link

Hello to you. It’s another sunny and hot day here as I write to you. I hope this finds you well. If not I hope somehow God will show you how loved you are.

My thoughts this afternoon are about keeping my thoughts in the now. What sparked this was thinking about Link getting older. He’s showing signs of his age already- he will be 11 this December 9th. I can remember all too well how many pieces my heart was shattered at losing 4 pets in close succession when I lived in Texas. Two dogs and two cats – my fur babies Sam, Blondie, Amber and May. I think it was losing them that contributed to my many manic episodes that lead to my frequent hospitalizations. I never had children so they filled that maternal void in me. Losing them was so painful I could barely stand it!

Link is my second son and I try to avoid thinking of how losing him will break my heart again! I am trying to keep my thoughts in the now about him. Cherish each day the good Lord gives us together. I have said I don’t know if I will have another dog or cat after Link. As I stand here now, I don’t know if my heart will be able to take it! I say this now but who knows what God will have for me. Taking in Link helped heal my broken heart!

Dear Jesus I come before you to pray for this world and all its inhabitants. I pray for all the animals and those who are pet owners who may be on the verge of having to say that most painful of goodbyes. I pray for the flood victims and their families in Texas. I pray for the children of war torn regions of this world. I pray for the families struggling to make ends meet in this American economy. I pray for the world’s sick, poor and hungry. We need you now more than ever. I pray all this in your precious name. Amen.

15 July 2025 Feeling Better

by saymber, posted in Animal Rights, animals, Bipolar life, dreams, Health, human rights, Mental Health, Nature, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs

Hello to you. Hope this finds you well. It’s another hot day here in Idaho as I write to you – 91 degrees! I walked about a mile this morning after I got up. I’m trying to walk every day and offset the side effects of the medication I’m taking. Both the Depakote and Olanzapine are known to contribute to weight gain. I need to lose about 100 lbs! I’m tired of carrying all this extra weight.

I wanted to share a praise about how I felt yesterday. I haven’t felt that good in over a month! I finally got relief from anxiety! The Olanzapine (generic Zyprexa) has been making all the difference. The side effect of drowsiness has lead me to restful naps and sleep at night. I hope this lasts!

Oh! I had a very vivid short dream about mosquitos last night. I dreamt some really big ones landed on me and my trying to stop one that had a body that was like a syringe from some man’s neck. When I went to flick it away, some of the fluid in its body got in my mouth – that woke me up! It was like a genetically modified insect. Weird dream! I wonder where that came from?!! I think it’s from hearing about huge mosquitos at the detention center in Florida.

A prayer:

Dear Lord Jesus I pray for this world and all of the life within it. I pray for all the sick, the hungry, the poor and those who are lost in this world because they don’t know you or refuse to surrender to your loving care. I pray for all the lives human beings share this world with and that there can be an end to cruelty and neglect of our fellow animal brothers and sisters. I ask all this in your precious name Jesus. Amen.

11 July 2025 Answered Prayers

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Health, Home, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs

Hello to you. Hope this finds you well. I just wanted to give out a praise for answered prayers and God showing me his love through my family the past couple of days. As I mentioned in my previous blog I ran out of Olanzapine and it had been a couple of weeks. I was starting to have a real hard time using Benadryl to get me through. Well after some phone calls today my beautiful friend (my cousins wife) Tawna offered to drive me to the Boise VA to get lab work and pick up refills. Wow! That meant everything! Tawna is another person in my life that God works through and has for quite some time. We enjoyed having time to visit as with her busy life we don’t get to see eachother as much as we would like. The visit to the VA in Boise went really smoothly and took no time at all. Very friendly people there! We got a dose in me and went to our new Dairy Queen for lunch which was really nice and took a little walk. She visited with Link and I for a bit on my porch before she left. I love being with her!

I found out the reason my Dr. has been reluctant to up the dose of Olanzapine is because there are a lot of negative side effects the higher the dosage like weight gain and blood sugar for example. He upped my daily dose by taking it two times a day instead of just once which isn’t too much. I noticed today that it relaxed me quite a bit. With being Bipolar there is a fine line between being high and being low. Without the Olanzapine I was running fast and it’s very uncomfortable!

Bottom line today – God hears our prayers and uses us to help eachother! So blessed!

From my Aunt Ruth today:

“He remembered us in our weakness. His faithful love endures forever.”

Psalm 136:23 (NLT)

Lord, I am so grateful that nothing is impossible for You. Even when I feel overwhelmed by events going on around me. When I feel weak, defeated, helpless, or hurting I am not alone. You already knew I would be here and You continue to show me that You can handle anything. Nothing is a surprise to You! Today, please forgive me for the time that I have not trusted in You. Give me the courage to do Your will and show me how I can glorify Your Name. Thank You for always being there especially when I need You most! Jesus’ Name, my Lord, my God, Amen.

10 July 2025 Olanzapine

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Health, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs

Hello to you. It’s a nice cool morning after a late afternoon thunderstorm yesterday. I got one walk in already! Sparklight, my WiFi provider, is down this morning. Apparently it’s a big outage with no word when it will be back up. Bummer!

This morning is another morning without Olanzapine (the generic for Zyprexa). What happened is I ran out before the next scheduled refill and have been taking Benadryl to get me through. Benadryl is a poor substitute and it wears off quickly plus it gives me the jitters sometimes! My next call with my psychiatrist I need to talk to him about the refill schedule and find out why it’s on a schedule like it is. I don’t have the same problem with refills for the Depakote I’m also taking for my Bipolar condition.

Philippians 4:13. “For I can do everything through Christ Jesus, who gives me strength.”.

3 July 2025 The Chosen Season 5

by saymber, posted in history, Spirituality and Religion, Television

Hello to you. I just got back from another walk. It’s overcast so it was cooler. I am trying to get more laps in each day in my quest to lose weight. I haven’t been taking Link as he’s been having trouble with his back left leg. He’s starting to show his age! Ugh! I hate it but it’s just the way it is having fur babies.

Today I binge watched Season 5 of The Chosen. It was really heavy! So much sorrow! It must have been hard for the cast especially Jonathan Roumie who plays Jesus. I found myself feeling anxious and sad through most of the episodes. They left the season off with a Judas kiss – next season is going to be even tougher to watch but I will!

Luke 22:7-20New International Version

The Last Supper

7 Then came the day of Unleavened Bread on which the Passover lamb had to be sacrificed. 8 Jesus sent Peter and John, saying, “Go and make preparations for us to eat the Passover.”

9 “Where do you want us to prepare for it?” they asked.

10 He replied, “As you enter the city, a man carrying a jar of water will meet you. Follow him to the house that he enters, 11 and say to the owner of the house, ‘The Teacher asks: Where is the guest room, where I may eat the Passover with my disciples?’ 12 He will show you a large room upstairs, all furnished. Make preparations there.”

13 They left and found things just as Jesus had told them. So they prepared the Passover.

14 When the hour came, Jesus and his apostlesreclined at the table. 15 And he said to them, “I have eagerly desired to eat this Passover with you before I suffer. 16 For I tell you, I will not eat it again until it finds fulfillment in the kingdom of God.”

17 After taking the cup, he gave thanks and said, “Take this and divide it among you. 18 For I tell you I will not drink again from the fruit of the vine until the kingdom of God comes.”

19 And he took bread, gave thanks and broke it, and gave it to them, saying, “This is my body given for you; do this in remembrance of me.”

20 In the same way, after the supper he took the cup, saying, “This cup is the new covenant in my blood, which is poured out for you.[a]

29 June 2025 Who To Believe In

by saymber, posted in history, human rights, In the News, Leading Life by Example, Politics and Government, Spirituality and Religion, trust

Hello to you. It’s a balmy 83 degree Sunday as I write to you. I got my walk in before it got too hot!

Went to church today and it was interesting. I was greeted by little Dorothy who I think she said she’s 6 years old. She is a hugger and always hugs me when she sees me. Such a sweetheart. The message today came from Brad out of Revelations. We learned more about the end times – specifically the Antichrist and the beasts- false prophets. What I liked was hearing about who we should believe in. Not a political party or government but Jesus Christ. Back when Revelations was first relevant it was the Roman Empire now in our time it’s the MAGA movement and United States government. Don’t follow them – get into the Bible and the teachings of Jesus – follow him! I am happy the leaders of our church brought this up today!

Revelation 13New International Version

The Beast out of the Sea

13 The dragon[a] stood on the shore of the sea. And I saw a beast coming out of the sea. It had ten horns and seven heads, with ten crowns on its horns, and on each head a blasphemous name. 2 The beast I saw resembled a leopard, but had feet like those of a bearand a mouth like that of a lion. The dragon gave the beast his power and his throne and great authority.3 One of the heads of the beast seemed to have had a fatal wound, but the fatal wound had been healed.The whole world was filled with wonder and followed the beast. 4 People worshiped the dragon because he had given authority to the beast, and they also worshiped the beast and asked, “Who is like the beast? Who can wage war against it?”

5 The beast was given a mouth to utter proud words and blasphemies and to exercise its authority for forty-two months. 6 It opened its mouth to blaspheme God, and to slander his name and his dwelling place and those who live in heaven. 7 It was given power to wage war against God’s holy people and to conquer them. And it was given authority over every tribe, people, language and nation. 8 All inhabitants of the earth will worship the beast—all whose names have not been written in the Lamb’s book of life, the Lambwho was slain from the creation of the world.[b]

9 Whoever has ears, let them hear.

10 “If anyone is to go into captivity,
    into captivity they will go.
If anyone is to be killed[c] with the sword,
    with the sword they will be killed.”[d]

This calls for patient endurance and faithfulness on the part of God’s people.

The Beast out of the Earth

11 Then I saw a second beast, coming out of the earth.It had two horns like a lamb, but it spoke like a dragon. 12 It exercised all the authority of the first beast on its behalf, and made the earth and its inhabitants worship the first beast, whose fatal wound had been healed. 13 And it performed great signs,even causing fire to come down from heaven to the earth in full view of the people. 14 Because of the signs it was given power to perform on behalf of the first beast, it deceived the inhabitants of the earth. It ordered them to set up an image in honor of the beast who was wounded by the sword and yet lived. 15 The second beast was given power to give breath to the image of the first beast, so that the image could speak and cause all who refused to worship the image to be killed. 16 It also forced all people, great and small, rich and poor, free and slave, to receive a mark on their right hands or on their foreheads, 17 so that they could not buy or sell unless they had the mark,which is the name of the beast or the number of its name.

18 This calls for wisdom. Let the person who has insight calculate the number of the beast, for it is the number of a man.[e] That number is 666.

27 June 2025 Divine Protection

by saymber, posted in Leading Life by Example, Spirituality and Religion

I was looking for a comforting scripture today and found this popular psalm:

Psalm 91New International Version

Psalm 91

1 Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High
    will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.[a]
2 I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress,
    my God, in whom I trust.”

3 Surely he will save you
    from the fowler’s snare
    and from the deadly pestilence.
4 He will cover you with his feathers,
    and under his wings you will find refuge;
    his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.
5 You will not fear the terror of night,
    nor the arrow that flies by day,
6 nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness,
    nor the plague that destroys at midday.
7 A thousand may fall at your side,
    ten thousand at your right hand,
    but it will not come near you.
8 You will only observe with your eyes
    and see the punishment of the wicked.

9 If you say, “The Lord is my refuge,”
    and you make the Most High your dwelling,
10 no harm will overtake you,
    no disaster will come near your tent.
11 For he will command his angels concerning you
    to guard you in all your ways;
12 they will lift you up in their hands,
    so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.
13 You will tread on the lion and the cobra;
    you will trample the great lion and the serpent.

14 “Because he[b] loves me,” says the Lord, “I will rescue him;
    I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.
15 He will call on me, and I will answer him;
    I will be with him in trouble,
    I will deliver him and honor him.
16 With long life I will satisfy him
    and show him my salvation.”

I hope my sharing this with you will give you strength and comfort.