18 April 2023 Positive Thing (Daily prompt)

Describe a positive thing a family member has done for you.

Hello there. How are you? Todays prompt is a good one. It gets me in a gratitude space in my mind. When I think about this I have trouble limiting to just one family member. It has taken a village of family and friends ( and a dog) to get me safely to where I am today! The area of most help looking back over the past couple years is with panic attacks and anxiety.

When I was still in Texas I experienced some of the worst panic attacks and anxiety I have ever had. Some of that carried over to Idaho for a time. My cousins wife, my cousins, my Aunt and Uncle all helped me via telephone and with their actions. It’s been going on four years this coming a July that I’ve lived here and they continue to help me! My ex and his family have helped me too – when Link got loose from the dog sitter and was in the shelter, they helped us get him out.

It’s hard to break the help down into just one thing! My cousins wife really helped me a lot when I was in Texas. I would have panic attacks and severe anxiety and she would talk me through it on the phone. I can remember all the times she helped me with just eating a meal. I would talk to her while I ate shaking the whole time. If she wasn’t able to talk, my Aunt or another cousin would. I can remember my cousin Laura helping to get me to the grocery store- talking to me the whole way! I use to walk and talk on my cell phone for hours to work through the anxiety I was feeling. I’m so grateful for my family and friends! So much patience!

Here is a little passage about helping the weak:

Acts 20:35 NIV35 In everything I did, I showed you that by this kind of hard work we must help the weak, remembering the words the Lord Jesus himself said: ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive. ‘ “

17 April 2023 Dreams

Hello to you. How are you? Today my thoughts turn to dreams. Not the kind when you sleep but the kind you have when your awake. Like having dreams for your life – your future. The reason I am thinking about this is because we had another tragic mass shooting at a teenagers birthday party. Four young people who had dreams and goals for their future were killed. When I have spoken of shootings before I mention that time is taken from first responders. What is taken from the victims and their families is dreams…goals…hope for the future. Phil Dowdell was one of the victims in the Dadeville Alabama shooting. He had dreams of persuing a football career – he had a scholarship. In the passion of one moment – poof! Gone! He was only 18 years old. All that promise, hope and plans for the future erased. My thoughts and prayers go out to the community of Dadeville. I hope those critically wounded and others that were wounded at the party make a full recovery. I hope they will have resources for grief counseling.

https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-65298018

Isaiah 40:31New International Version

31 but those who hope in the Lord
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.

12 April 2023 Love

Hello to you. How are you? I hope this finds you doing as best as you can. There is so much going on in this world!

When I was thinking of a topic today, the first thing that popped in my head was the word Love. What is Love? To me it’s a feeling that emanates in the heart and cascades out. When I am in connection with God and the people and animals I care about Love happens. Some people have no idea what Love truly is or what it feels like – some are those people that end up in prisons or state hospitals and animals that end up in shelters. I have been fortunate to have known Love all of my life. My family has been a source of unconditional Love. When I was in the hospital this last time they were there for me. My dog Link is a source of unconditional Love each day. I look forward to seeing his sweet face and wagging tail each morning!

What Love looks like each day – my dog Link

Love is mentioned many times in the Bible. Here are a few passages:

1 Corinthians 13:4-5Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

1 Corinthians 16:14Do everything in love.

Psalm 143:8Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I entrust my life.

Colossians 3:14And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.

Proverbs 3:3-4Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. Then you will win favor and a good name in the sight of God and man.

1 John 4:16And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them.

1 Corinthians 13:13And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

1 John 4:19We love because He first loved us.

Ephesians 4:2Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.

1 Peter 4:8Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.

Romans 12:9Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good.

Ephesians 3:16-17I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love.

John 15:12My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.

I hope you know what true Love is – looks and feels like. You deserve it!

8 April 2023 Red Ribbons

The sins of the congregation nailed to the cross to symbolize Christs sacrifice

Hello to you, how are you? I’m doing pretty good. Last night I went to our church’s Good Friday service and I’m glad I did. It was a somber service as can be expected. The most powerful part was when each of us wrote down a sin on a piece of red ribbon. They took the baskets of ribbons and nailed them to the cross. As I had mentioned previously my lack of fondness for crosses. Seeing this symbology helped me a little bit. If he hadn’t of gone to the cross for us, we’d still be making sacrifices to atone for our sins. As much as I don’t like it, that’s the truth of Christianity. Without his being crucified and rising again, which we celebrate tomorrow, there would be no Christian church. Our hope is wrapped up in this story.

People will be doing Easter egg hunts with their kids tomorrow which heralds back to the pagan roots of Easter. Easter is another holiday candy makers look forward to. It’s kind of what happens with most holidays. A lot of our holidays herald from pagan roots. It’s how they got pagans of the past into Christianity. I look forward to the uplifting message that will come tomorrow of Christs beating death!

Anyhew – when I got home I took Link for a walk. It’s so nice out! It’s 59 degrees today!

Leaf buds are starting to come out
I love Weeping Willow trees. We have like three of them in our neighborhood.

7 April 2023 Hyper Aware and Good Friday

Hello to you. Hope this finds you well. This morning I am feeling hyper aware of my body. It’s uncomfortable but passing thank goodness. When this happens I feel uncomfortable in my body – it’s like all my senses are raw nerves. I took 10mg of Zyprexa and it seems to be helping.

Today is Good Friday – I plan on attending my church’s service this evening. I have never really understood why they call it Good Friday considering what is being celebrated. I don’t think it was a very good day to be Jesus Christ! To be beaten and crucified is a pretty horrible thing. It’s for this reason, and I know all the reasons, I hate crosses. I feel like crosses are as anti-Christ as it gets. Like I said I’ve heard all the justifications as to why he had to die like he did but I still think it’s horrible and cruel. I can remember seeing The Passion of The Christ in the theater with my first husband and we both had nightmares afterwards! It was worse than a horror flick to see that kind of brutality and bloodshed. I know I’m supposed to be grateful that Jesus went through what he did and I am. I just don’t agree on the “good” part. Even with what he went through, this world is full of brokenness and feels ungrateful. I have heard all the reasons for that too! Anyhew – I’m learning and hope there will be another Bible study at some point. I learned a lot during the one I just finished.

6 April 2023 Community

How would you improve your community?

Hello to you. The prompt for today is a good one. How would I improve my community would be mainly doing a better job with growth planning. Our state is experiencing extreme growth and is scrambling to keep up with it. There are so many new houses being built and the infrastructure is tough to keep up with it – primarily roads. Traffic at certain times of the day is horrendous! We have a lot of people who moved here from California and they left behind traffic jams hoping it would be different here and it’s not. Where you go there you are! You may have left California but you brought who you were when you lived there with you to Idaho.

I can’t really complain too much as I moved here from Texas. Texas was experiencing a lot of growth before I left and that continues since I’ve been gone. People can’t afford to retire in places like California or Colorado so they move to places with lower cost of living. The sad thing is like for here all those people coming here have priced out natives trying to retire or get their first home. The new transplants have made it almost impossible for people to afford a home here with current wages not keeping up with the cost of living. So they are building lots of apartments that the average Idahoan can barely afford to live in. I was looking for a place to rent but couldn’t afford it so I was fortunate to find the tiny home I’ve got.

5 April 2023 Adaption and Covid-19

How have you adapted to the changes brought on by the Covid-19 pandemic?

Hello to you how are you doing? This day finds me well. It’s a beautiful sunny day. The trees have started budding and flowers are beginning to push up. Definitely feeling like spring!

The prompt today is kind of interesting. I went to the grocery store today and it felt normal. No one wearing masks like before. I think, speaking for myself, unless I’m going to a medical appt, I have adapted back to nearly pre-pandemic behavior. I don’t even really think about Covid or catching it. To me it’s become like the flu – another variation of the flu.

I feel like I have adapted to the changes easily because, like I said, the only place I have to go that reminds me of the pandemic is hospitals. When I go to the VA, for example, they require you to wear a mask. Which makes sense because you can get exposed to people with Covid or other stuff like the flu. When I’ve been to the VA there have been some really sick people there.

30 March 2023 Understanding

What’s something most people don’t understand?

Mental healths connection to spiritual health.

It’s important to attain balance in all things. Too much of anything can offset balance. I think it’s possible to be over religious and as in my case that can create imbalance. I think you need a healthy spiritual life to have a healthy mental life. I believe there is a void in each of us that only things of the spirit – of God- can fill. I believe there is definitely a connection – at least for me, can’t speak for everyone.

This past hospitalization to a mental hospital occurred because I was tired of waiting for Jesus’s second coming. I got too much into religion. I took it upon myself to initiate it and ended up getting tased by the police and sent to a hospital! The spirit world was talking through me and I enjoyed it but it messed up my mental health. It took over again like what happened in Texas a couple of times. The anxiety attacks were the worst part.

Thankfully I have loving family that have a balanced spiritual and mental life that are there for me. I don’t know if I would have made it in Texas if my Idaho family hadn’t been there for me. My cousins wife confided in me recently that before she and my cousin came and got Link and I, the prepared themselves spiritually as it seemed like other spiritual forces were at work with me. They put on their holy armor!

I think a lot of people try to get through life without a healthy balance of belief in God and self. There are things that nothing of this tangible world can fix. My ex and I learned this especially when we had to let our dog Sam go to the rainbow bridge. There was nothing that could fill the void his passing left inside of us. It was like losing a child! Even as much as Link’s arrival helped, only Gods unconditional love has really filled the void. Sam’s love and behavior towards us was like I imagine Gods love to be – unconditional. Our pets teach us so much that can’t be taught, and learned, any other way.

29 March 2023 God the Gentleman (free will quandry)

Hello to you. How is your today going? I am doing ok. My thoughts are on my quandry about God and free will. I brought this up last night with the ladies in my Bible study. The answers that came from them were all similar. God didn’t make us to be mindless drones and followers of his word. God is a gentleman who gives us choice – to choose to believe in him or not. Nothing is forced. Emily, the leader of the study gave me a good example. She said imagine you have this friend who every time they go out they do the same thing. Like getting drunk and being miserable for it. You know this about them and suggest they not do it but ultimately it’s their choice. Emily was kind of tackling the all knowing God in her example. God knows us better than we know ourselves. He knows what we are going to do and can put other options and choices – better choices- before us but ultimately we make the final call. When I think of the times I’ve been through with my mental health I got myself in a tunnel. I couldn’t see the better choices because I lost control of my ability to see them. In the Christian community they might say the enemy had hold of me.

I read this morning that the Nashville shooter had been suffering. When we are suffering and don’t have faith and trust in God and the enemy is “driving the car” we make, in her case, fatal choices despite what God wants for us.

I am still struggling with the issue of God allowing mass shootings to go on. I feel like there is a lesson we are supposed to be learning and we are not learning it. For example there is no red flag law in Tennessee to prevent troubled people from purchasing weapons or keeping current guns in their possession. May be this case is another example that lawmakers need to make better choices too. Something like red flag laws should be federal law not just up to each state. That’s just my opinion of course. There is just too much inconsistency when it comes to guns in America.

So I’m glad I was able to talk to Emily and the other ladies in Bible study last night about Gods Grace when it comes to tragedy. There have been all kinds lately to include weather related. The people in Mississippi who lost their lives and or homes to tornados. I wonder what God wants us to learn about that or is it beyond God and a combination of man -made factors – climate change for example. I don’t think anybody is completely ready for something like a tornado. I know when we had one when we lived in Texas it took us by surprise even with the weather service warnings! We were grateful for our lives being spared and minimal damage to our property. It’s got to be hard to have everything destroyed like happened to the already poor in Mississippi. What is Gods plan for these unfortunates? I know after the tornado we had it pulled all of us neighbors closer together.

At the bottom of all tragedy, no matter what kind it is, what good can come from it? What can we learn about God and ourselves? We can choose to crumble or learn and rise above it wiser. It really helped me to hear fellow believers explain God as being a gentleman. We are given a choice and we don’t have to wait for tragedy, reaching our bottom in life, to choose Gods will for us. With these tragedies we are seeing the perpetrators are self will run riot. In cases like these mass shootings, fatally so. Passion takes over reason. I wonder if that shooter knew she was unconditionally loved by God if she still would have gone through with her plans.

28 March 2023 It Happened Again – Why?!

Hello to you. How are you? I am feeling a little overwhelmed by seeing yet another tragedy play out with the school shooting in Nashville Tennessee. No place seems to be sacred. I ask myself why God keeps allowing these to happen even in places of worship. People always retort the same answer, “free will.” If God knows everything, whatever is going to happen before it happens, how can there be free will? Why doesn’t God intervene somehow. The other answer I hear a lot is this is a fallen world we live in to which I ask why did Jesus die again? The answer is usually not everyone accepts Jesus as their savior and so they do things like what happened in Nashville and so many other places. I say access to guns, like this emotionally disturbed person had, makes it so easy for the disturbed and fallen to carry out these violent acts of free will. I ask God often why he allowed guns to be made at all! My life began with my mother ending her life with a gun. They always say if there wasn’t a gun they will find something else. At least the something else gives first responders more time. Time is what is lost with guns used by troubled people.

I like what the woman that asked the media if they are tired of covering school shooting stories. She asked a compelling question, “Why is this still happening” and said it’s just going to keep happening unless something is done. I read how easy it was for this troubled young woman to get her guns and hide them in her parents house.

America is sick with a gun culture. There are many responsible gun owners, I know several to include family and friends. I myself don’t own a gun nor should I with my history of mental health. I hate guns but for some it’s like collecting or buying something to support a hobby. A lot of people like to use guns to support their hunting hobby. Other people are buying guns out of self defense. The other day I saw a man open carrying a hand gun and I found myself feeling a bit unsettled. It would be so easy for somebody like that to turn such a weapon on people in the store. That’s what I thought when I saw it!

The argument that bugs me a lot is regarding good guys versus bad guys having guns. All it takes is one moment of passion to change a good guy to a bad guy. We are seeing it with cops a lot these days.

Something needs to be done from the federal level so that we get some consistency from place to place. Emotionally disturbed people should be a red flag at any place such a person could buy a gun. You shouldn’t be able to sell guns to the public without having the ability to run a background check. I think there needs to be an international database connected from mental health care providers and law enforcement that all places selling weapons would be required to check before selling someone a weapon. There is so much inconsistency in the process from one state to another – one store to another. So many troubled people fall through the cracks of our current systems. So many people with mental health issues are unable to get care and fly under accountabilities radar. I keep thinking of the sniper Chris Kyle who made the fatal decision of thinking taking a troubled vet with PTSD to a gun range was a good idea.

I have to wonder how much more bloodshed the American people are willing to accept? Idaho just signed into law that firing squads are ok to execute prisoners on death row! Seeing such actions make our country seem so barbaric. What I am concerned about is when innocent people are put up for execution.

So when all is said and done, with the system both divine and worldly as it is, I am praying for meaningful change not more empty rhetoric.