For a long time , most of my life, I have loved God. As I have matured and learned so much about matters of organic energy and matters of the spirit I have learned through personal experience how important it is to have s personal relationship. A relationship no one outside of myself can define. No book or written word. Sometimes just the sound of aspen leaves blowing in the wind. Always present. Recently I made a choice I had been straddling the fence about for many years. I decided to surrender my soul to Jesus Christ….not in the book but the one I have come to know through a personal relationship. In the sky, God and the Earth my mother…our shared mother and once they made a son. I don’t believe he left such is not the way of this system as I understand it. Too many words. Human beings trying to make sense of things as they had understanding at the time. Words of the time that have changed in ours. So many translations. So many individual perceptions. We are in the one circle. Sometimes mythology is our only comfort in times of great loss and confusion.
This morning I had an interesting dream. There was a woman I had a conflict with and she got so angry with me. We exchanged words and I thought that was it but then she started to slap my face faster than is even humanly possible. She was so angry! But I stood still and let her do it until finally she stopped. To me this was biblical. No matter what was going on, I stood my ground and didn’t retaliate against her. Something she did not expect me to do.
Matthew 5:38-40New International Version
Eye for Eye
38 “You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.’[a](A)39 But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also.(B)40 And if anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, hand over your coat as well.
When I was growing up my Mom used to get very angry with me. I don’t want to go into it out of respect for her. She used to get so mad at me she would “see red.” I had to, later, learn to empathize with why she may have done some things she did AND because of those things she made me a survivor. She had a lot that made her the way she was and that influenced who I was but at the end of the day I had a choice. I could choose to not forgive her and lose the only Mom God gave me or forgive and not waste any more time feeding darkness that comes of it.
Imagine waiting nearly a whole life time to hear your father tell you he loved you……as I recall it this was the case for her. On his deathbed!
God needed me to be tough to survive these times. No matter what I have endured, I wouldn’t change a thing……even my mother’s suicide. This world was too tough for her and she wanted to be with Jesus. She has been my mother in other ways with his help. I just had to make s conscious decision about my soul and surrender.
Today many will be choosing to experience fellowship about Jesus indoors. I will be going to a park. The energy inside of many enclosed spaces, when other people are there, is difficult for me. Bless all of you today.
Sometimes people smile but they are a black hole sun.
Sometimes loss, suffering, pain can turn us inside out. From my own experience, huge voids, organic black holes created and nothing of this tangible world can fill us up. What I have had to learn is to be careful what I put into those voids once they happen. Everything is an energetic process. Our bodies, our world, what we eat and drink with a fork and spoon and the food we eat that you can’t chew and swallow (energy) is energy. Everything is some form of energetic process. If you experience something that you suffer about, be careful, be mindful of what you “ingest” in its place. For me – Jesus Christ and music. I love you – in case no one has told you that today. Get out there and do amazing things. You got this!
A message from A Woman’s Spirit today. I want to emphasize that as I share this I’m thinking of you men folk too! Everyone struggles at some degree with self-esteem and the God of our understanding, for me Jesus Christ, stands ready to help:
I always thought some people were just born with self- esteem and others not. The fact is, the people with self-esteem May have learned to develop it sooner than others, and now it’s my turn. -Laurel Lewis
One element of our growth is making new choices for ourselves. One of our choices is to have the self-esteem that is our right as a human being.
Some women may have never struggled with low self-esteem. Certainly, many women were born into families where unconditional love helped to develop the kind of self-esteem we crave. Yet with the help of this program and our Higher Power, we too will begin to feel a full measure of self-esteem.
Having self-esteem is really nothing more than beginning to understand and then accepting our worthiness in this vast panorama called life. We have always mattered to God and our fellow travelers, or we wouldn’t be here. It’s our beliefs that need to change-nothing more. We are worthy and loved children of God.
Self-esteem does not have to elude me today. My worth is guaranteed. God doesn’t make junk!
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Matthew 13:44-46New International Version
The Parables of the Hidden Treasure and the Pearl
44 “The kingdom of heaven is like(A) treasure hidden in a field. When a man found it, he hid it again, and then in his joy went and sold all he had and bought that field.(B)
45 “Again, the kingdom of heaven is like(C) a merchant looking for fine pearls. 46 When he found one of great value, he went away and sold everything he had and bought it.
Hello to you today. How are you? I’m feeling a bit rough after last night. I had a wonderful visit with my family here to celebrate the 4th and then Link and I came home…..ugh! For several hours we endured the sounds of fireworks all around us. They don’t seem to have any rules here about where and for how long you can detonate them. It sounded like a war zone to me. I could feel the explosions in my heart center. It sounded like this to me:
A lot of people, and I used to be one of those people, enjoy the experience of fireworks. It’s after having a dog and seeing what the experience did to them…. which lead to an expanded empathy and consciousness of what the experience does to all those not human, I stopped wanting the experience. Last night I couldn’t get away from it. With the decibel range of many of the things people were setting off, not much could block it. Some shook the house. People sharing with each other what they think freedom looks and sounds like at the expense of those who aren’t on the same page. Fireworks are dangerous, loud, harm wildlife, disturb the animals we live with and harm the environment – pollute the air we breathe. My “freedom” and that of many living around me collided last night. The world I grew up in and the one I am living in now are drastically different. There weren’t mass shootings on city streets, public events and schools. I didn’t know that the fireworks I enjoyed as a kid sounded like rapid gunfire you hear in a war zone.
My cousin, who served in the Navy and continues to serve in a different capacity, gave me this coin yesterday to commemorate the 2 year anniversary of him and his wife helping me leave Texas and come to Idaho. I served my country for 16 years in the United States Air Force. I have fired a gun once – the M-16 to qualify at Basic Training. Firing a gun in that way made sense to me. This kind of firepower in civilian hands does not. How many police stations in our country being put in really awful positions – outgunned by those they are sworn to protect? It’s Insanity.
https://youtu.be/wcnQJd_XRQQ – We haven’t got the country we had when I was raised – 100 year old veteran worried about America
One person got me through last night, representing very well the God I love. They kept me from doing what I wanted to do – go out to people and yell. I was in dark places last night:
Hello to you. How are you? I’m doing ok. Frustrated with myself. Tried to fit into a pair of jeans I’ve had for so many years this morning and nope! Too bloated. There is a Dr. Guidry and others that say the culprit is probably leaky gut syndrome. I am trying to eat better but still taking in too much processed food that is heavy on salt. It’s hard when your living alone to want to cook for yourself and if you do, avoid having a lot of waste. I am working with God about this and my body. Our microme- gut bacteria gets trained up early on in our lives. I notice for myself, that my body likes to eat a lot of protein. Much of the protein I ate as a young person came from meat. I want to change that. I am seeking a protein that does for me what meat does without involving the suffering and death of food animals. I have explored stuff like Quinoa and coconut milk. God and I will figure this out!
Yesterday I was looking into water filter technology and there is a lot of innovation out there. The Achilles heal to much of it – what to do with what is filtered out of water. The byproduct of most filtration tech is dirty filters and stuff you have to figure out what to do with. Desalinization – brine. What O read is a lot of the byproduct gets put back where the water came from! This doesn’t make any sense. It’s like seeing no trash someplace and forgetting there is a landfill somewhere brimming over with trash! Out of sight out of mind. If I have water delivered to my house it’s still not solving the problem. How about working on putting less crap in our drinking water to begin with? Will there ever be a day we feel safe drinking from the tap? Kind of felt like I was chasing my tail yesterday about this issue and so many others. Fix one thing, answer one question and there is something else to consider. Thinking something, a decision, all the way through isn’t easy but necessary. Making hasty decisions oftentimes is a catalyst for more problems to arise. Some enjoy that – profiting from making problems and then making more money coming up with solutions. I call that profit from misery. If problems are preventable then we should work on that. Doing what is right isn’t easy always but it can be rewarding!
Sometimes things are not what they seem – sometimes we have to look deeper than what the surface shows us. Flies are considered a pest but what I figured out is they are a lot like us. They get hungry , thirsty, want to reproduce and most of all are very curious. We are taught many things that just aren’t always true. Be willing and God will show you the truth of just about anything.
To be 