Tag: family

21 November 2021 Happy Birthday And The Village

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Writing and blogging

Hello and good morning to you from here. How are you? Today is my Aunts birthday ! Happy birthday Auntie !

Happy birthday Auntie ! She is my biggest fan!

Well last night my friend and I went to The Village in Meridian but we made a stop at the super Albertsons across the street first. Wow is that a big store. So many choices! I told her I probably wouldn’t shop in there as I would get overwhelmed!

The Village looks so pretty at night. They had lots of lights. The waterfall moved in time to holiday music. They also had an ice skating rink! I liked standing by the gas fire pits they had going so you could stay warm while you waited outside. We ate pizza at a place called Grimaldi’s. There was quite a wait but it was worth it. I shared a spinach salad while we waited for a red onion and sausage pizza. The whole experience was surreal for me. If I was a better painter there would be paintings. If I owned a better camera there would be lots of pictures.

What’s funny is both of us are homebody’s so it was really good for us to get out. My friend is a life coach and something she said last night really stuck out, “it’s your choice….when your ready.” She was talking to me in the context of my moving on with my life. Right now I’m feeling kind of stuck. I have a second room full of stuff I can’t handle looking at. Ever since I hired those ladies to organize it I haven’t really touched the room! Sometimes I wish I had thrown everything away and started with a clean slate. Anyhew….it was good to talk to her. God has a plan and I just need to keep saying yes to the doors he opens for me .

Tree at The Village Meridian ID

14 November 2021 Safe

by saymber, posted in history, Home, Mental Health, Music, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hi. How are you? It’s 806 pm as I write you. Today has been a good day. For those of you that have been following along with me you know driving has been a thing for me. Today I drove the farthest I’ve driven here in Idaho and made it there and back safe….praise God and my guardian Angel! I had a really enjoyable visit with my family – it was a happy birthday!

Tonight I watched a live broadcast of Elevation Church’s Steven Furtick and his message really resonated. Steven had a unique style of preaching – so much energy! Don’t weep for what’s left you, whatever it is. Something better is coming!! Build on what remains. I have endured a lot of losses but a lot of good remains. A lot of good has come. God knows my heart and has not abandoned me to sorrow. Today I was crying for the loss of my husband to divorce and God filled the void with my loving family. I can’t go back….only forwards…..better!

I can remember being in my back yard in Texas crying because my world had gotten so small. I kept playing the song by Mind In A Box called Escape over and over. God had to move so many pieces to answer my pleas. I lost so much but as my new life unfolds I realize there was no other way. God delivered me and my husband. My husband was too young to be trapped as my caretaker and he just couldn’t help me. So many pieces have to move for just one moment….just one prayer.

14 November 2021 Meetup and Comfort Zone

by saymber, posted in animals, Home, Mental Health, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello there how are you?! It’s Sunday morning as I write to you. I have a cup of coffee and my writing buddy Link beside me. What a blessing it is to wake up to his furry face each day!

So last night I hosted the first event for my Connect Middleton Idaho Meetup Group and I was so pleased! There were three of us and our 40 minutes on Zoom went so fast! We spent the time getting to know each other better and plan to meet again next Saturday. One person from Middleton has joined the group so I’m hoping they will join us for the next event. It’s baby steps! I’m so grateful!

Today is stepping or rather driving out of my comfort zone day. My cousin is hosting a birthday party for my Aunt and his son at their house and I have to get there on my own. I’m a little nervous but I know if I get lost all I have to do is call! Gradually I’m hoping I will regain my confidence and not be so afraid of driving here. It’s been almost a year since my accident. Oh and today is actually my Uncle Bills birthday! Happy Birthday Uncle!

A personal birthday wish!

10 November 2021 Grandpa

by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, dreams, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs
From left to right my Grandpa Harold Becker with his brothers Herman and Robert. Robert turned 100 this year!

I am thinking of my Grandpa today. If you knew him he would have brought a smile to your face. He was always cracking jokes and laughing….”put your money where your mouth is kiddo!”

My Grandpa took his own life due to depression after a stroke back in September of 2000. When I found out he had done this I was worried about his soul. I asked God to show me he was alright and some time later I had this dream. I dreamt that my Grandpa was in my body and we danced! We danced with my first husband Ken. Then we told my Grandma who was his ex wife that I would see her on the other side. He told his wife Charlie that he was sorry for what he had done (taking his own life). Then we tripped and Grandpa popped out of my body. The next thing I saw was him way off in the distance preparing to go into a church. He yelled “there is life after death if you believe in Jesus Christ!” Then I woke up. That dream helped me so much!

I miss my Grandpa but feel certain he is ok. There has always been this belief that if you take your own life you are either going to hell or purgatory. The dream I had seemed to show something else. My Grandpa served God most of his life as a Pastor but after my Mom took her own life he really questioned everything he knew. I believe he lost his faith. He was so tormented about her death. I can remember as a little girl in the dining room of my house in Sioux Falls sitting with Grandpa and his just looking at me and sobbing “I’m so sorry!” I think he gave up on God but God didn’t give up on him. I don’t think my dream was just a coincidence. I asked God if Grandpa was ok and the answer was that he was. He just needed a little help!

“Open my mind God so that I might see that the path is short between you and me.”

3 November 2021 Apple

by saymber, posted in history, Home, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hi! How are you in your today? I’m doing alright. I am looking at my little drum and wishing I had someone to play it with! On the 13th I’ve scheduled a Meetup event at 6 pm . Even if one person signs up that would be nice ! (Connect Middleton Idaho)

“Keep me as the apple of your eye; hide me in the shadow of your wings” psalm 17:8

The Bible has some beautiful passages in it. I chose this one thinking of my Grandma Irene Schmidt today. I can remember her and I playing cards one time and her telling me I was the apple of her eye. It made me feel so special to be loved like that! My Grandma loved God so much and shared that love with me. This morning I’m remembering her flowers. She had the most beautiful roses. I’m thinking of the white Kennedy roses in particular. They were huge and smelled so good! Whenever I see or smell a rose I think of my Grandma.

I don’t have a picture of Grandmas flowers handy but this link will show you what the rose looked like:

https://gardencenterpoint.com/kennedy-rose/?gclid=Cj0KCQjw5oiMBhDtARIsAJi0qk0Ui7pk2D6Be-PKSOOD23QR4UjCDpuT33MH_q6xQipk3IA_TllmwoQaAnceEALw_wcB

29 October 2021 Thirsty

by saymber, posted in Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello! How are you doing today? I’m sitting here with a cup of coffee and my little drum. I had a nice day yesterday . My cousin came to visit me and took me out to lunch at a burger place called The Habit. They had green beans that were prepared like French fries! I just love spending time with her. She, like the rest of my family here are so supportive. I told her that she is a breath of fresh air. I am truly blessed. She and I talked about trying to get together again and I would drive there! It’s time to get me out of my comfort zone again!

My cousin and I talked a bit about how fast life goes . We are both in our 50’s now and it really makes you cherish and be grateful for the people in your life. This time of life makes you want to make the most of the life you have left. I pulled out my Bible today and turned to the book of John:

John 4:13-14New International Version

13 Jesus answered, “Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, 14 but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst.(A) Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water(B) welling up to eternal life.”(C)

Reading this makes me think of the wonderful time I had with my cousin and so many other special moments in my life. They are fleeting. I want to hold on to them but I can’t. Just like water they slip through my fingers.

19 October 2021 Immortality

by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, books, history, Money, Movies, Music, photography, Social media, Spirituality and Religion, technology, Television, Writing and blogging

Hello to you. How is your day going? I got out and did a lap around the neighborhood. I’ll probably need to go a little later to get a mile in. It’s so pretty out!

The past couple of days I’ve been watching AI interpretations of what people from old times would look like today. The reference material used is photographs, paintings, statues and even mummies. Yesterday as I watched a female mummy resurrected for a moment, I found myself asking was this what she had in mind being mummified? Did she and the people of her time know they would become immortals?

In our modern world there are so many ways for even the most poor to become immortal. In addition to all the traditional ways there are so many more now that we have AI. The problem that I see however is a lot of the new ways rely on systems that can fail. What if YouTube or Facebooks servers went down and data couldn’t be retrieved? I had an external hard drive that hit the tile one too many times. I can’t get the pictures, videos and documents unless I pay someone! What happens when you drop your cell phone and all your pictures were on it? Immortality of this age is so fragile!

As a child I wanted to be immortal. I wanted to be a famous singer, writer, dancer and artist. My stepmom said something profound about that though, she said “ Jackie you don’t have to be famous to be somebody.” Back then I was going to Catholic Church. There is a part of me that still longs for the immortality I wanted as a child. My grown up self knows those ships have sailed. The modern world of immortals is for the young even though those who are older have most of the money !

Something interesting in the world of AI and spirituality is the word SAVED. This word and concept is equally important in both worlds. It means immortality. For example there is an 8mm film I have of my family, all of them except my dad are deceased. When I watch it they live again. Through my living eyes they have life. They all believed in Jesus Christ. Without that video and other pictures of them that have been “saved” they would just be names on tombstones…..names written in bibles.

I’m at the time in my life when one starts to think of things like this. I have a trunk full of journals and drawings will they stand the test of time? Have I secured my immortality? Much of my hand written stuff is in cursive writing. In many schools they have stopped teaching cursive writing! I have no children to pass “myself” on to. Will my life just end up being a time capsule in a landfill?

What does immortality mean to you? Why do you do what you do in this life? Lately I have been questioning that a lot. It seems like our world is going through an identity crisis. Are we doing things that have meaning or just to survive? If we were able to do what we truly enjoy doing would we have so much consumerism? For some their immortality is in how many possessions they have.

“Through the veil comes a whisper,”remember me.”

18 October 2021

by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, Food, Home, In the News, Leading Life by Example, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello there how are you? It’s a gray and overcast Monday as I write to you. There wasn’t light until 8! How is it where you live?

So yesterday I went over to my Aunt and Uncles to help make jalapeño pepper jam. I had never done that before. I was in charge of measuring the sugar and other odd jobs. My two cousins and cousins daughter were there and it was good to see them. I was so in the moment I didn’t get any pictures of the jam! My uncle John was the only man in the outfit!

I didn’t get to stay too long as my bowels were acting up. They made about 4 batches of jam and they used the jalapeños after they were juiced for salsa.

I heard the sad news today that Colin Powell died from complications of Covid-19 and cancer . He was the first black Secretary of State . One of my favorite quotes is from him :

The day soldiers stop bringing you their problems is the day you have stopped leading them. They have either lost confidence that you can help them or concluded that you do not care. Either case is a failure of leadership.”

For fun: https://youtu.be/rZSaD4QLjxE Breathtaking AI Generated Portraits by Bas Uterwijk

“We stand in this moment a foothold in time. Where do we go from here? Do we reach to the top shelves for the hidden best or do we continue to grimace in pain as we stoop for the obvious? The stream of life flows forward so swiftly with hands still reaching back. Grasping anything to steady us as we lose our footing. What is our identity? Who are our tribes? We think we are standing still but the sand continues to give way. We are but mere little children in this vast cosmos. Time stretching forward and backwards in a snapshot of space. The all seeing eye of time a voyeur to our rise and fall.”

17 October 2021

by saymber, posted in Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, drawing, Leading Life by Example, Spirituality and Religion, Writing and blogging

Hello there! How are you? I’m doing ok. This morning I’m writing to you from my little loveseat. Link is keeping my feet warm! It’s chilly in the house but not enough to kick the heater on.

So in a little while I’m going over to my Aunt and Uncles to make hot and spicy pepper jam. They haven’t done this for a couple of years. My cousins and their kids will there. I’ll let you know how it goes tomorrow.

I felt like chalking for a few minutes last night

What am I grateful for today? ALOT! I’m so grateful to have a God of my understanding that reminds me to pull out my gratitude list when I’m getting ready to start complaining. I was going to do that this morning! Sometimes it’s ok to complain but I have to be careful that complaining isn’t all I do. I have to remember that when I complain I give my personal power away to what I’m complaining about. What I focus on gains power.

15 October 2021

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, In the News, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Money, Spirituality and Religion, Writing and blogging

Hello. How are you? I’m am doing ok – just real tired. I haven’t been sleeping that well. It was only once around the block today. I’m starting to feel like an old dog!! Must be the cold getting in my bones!

Yesterday I went over to my Aunt and Uncles house for linner (lunch/dinner). They had invited some of their friends and their daughter too . It was nice to have a home cooked meal with such good company. Playing a round of Farkle (dice game) which my Aunt won. Being with them helped me forget my troubles for awhile . For just a couple hours the world seemed happy and peaceful – normal. When I am with my family I feel so loved and cared about. I wish the whole world could know what that’s like. So many lives seem to be in a state of chaos right now.

When I look at the news lately everything is for shit. It’s like there isn’t any hope. Just more of the same crap – fear mongering and scare tactics. All the stuff love can’t buy but money can. If you pay attention to this stuff you have to ask where God is in all of it. I believe God is showing us just how broken we are.

All broken aside, I want to focus on the good stuff. I woke up today. I have wonderful family and friends. I have a roof over my head. Food in my belly. My health is pretty good yet. I have a sweet dog. I have transportation. I want to believe there is enough of what I need in this world. I want to believe my higher power has my back and is looking out for me. No matter how broken this world appears to be, there are moments like I had yesterday. People still caring about each other and coming together in fellowship and love.

So what are you grateful for today? What makes you happy ? How do you stay positive ? I’d love to hear from you!