15 July 2033 Dinner

July 15, 2023 by saymber, posted in Uncategorized

If you could host a dinner and anyone you invite was sure to come, who would you invite?

Hello to you. How is your weekend going? I’m writing to you from the porch, it’s nice out yet. Link and I went for a walk last night after it cooled down. I think that’s the best time to go for our walk. The sun is so intense during the early morning and daylight hours.

Yesterdays appointment went well with meeting my new intern doctor – Dr. Browning. He had a lot of questions for me and I had some for him. He’s going to call me this next Friday to see how I’m doing with the increased dosage of Abilify. We are trying to isolate what is causing me to feel the increased vertigo – spinning stuff. He thinks it could be the Zyprexa but the increase in the side effects only have started since taking the Abilify. It was nice having Tawna along as she had questions I had forgotten to ask.

So who do I want to invite to dinner?! This question is like a thing my Mom and Dad used to do – Guess Who’s Coming To Dinner! Oh boy do I have a list! After an invite to all my immediate family and friends I miss, there would be invites to people like Pope Francis, John Stewart, Ru Paul, the Dali Lama, Benedict Cumberbatch, Lady Gaga for some living people and people like Jesus Christ, Nikola Tesla, Wilhelm Reich, Maya Angelou, Saint Therese Lisieux, Saint Francis, Princess Diana, David Bowie, Prince in the unalive category. There are so many amazing people that have come and gone! It’s hard to list them all and it would be fun to share a meal with them!

Matthew 14:13-21New International Version

Jesus Feeds the Five Thousand

¹³When Jesus heard what had happened, he withdrew by boat privately to a solitary place. Hearing of this, the crowds followed him on foot from the towns. ¹⁴When Jesus landed and saw a large crowd, he had compassion on them and healed their sick.

¹⁵As evening approached, the disciples came to him and said, “This is a remote place, and it’s already getting late. Send the crowds away, so they can go to the villages and buy themselves some food.”

¹⁶Jesus replied, “They do not need to go away. You give them something to eat.”

¹⁷“We have here only five loaves of bread and two fish,” they answered.

¹⁸“Bring them here to me,” he said. ¹⁹And he directed the people to sit down on the grass. Taking the five loaves and the two fish and looking up to heaven, he gave thanks and broke the loaves. Then he gave them to the disciples, and the disciples gave them to the people.²⁰They all ate and were satisfied, and the disciples picked up twelve basketfuls of broken pieces that were left over. ²¹The number of those who ate was about five thousand men, besides women and children.

9 July 2023 Music

July 9, 2023 by saymber, posted in Music, Spirituality and Religion

What is your favorite genre of music?

Hello there. How are you? Today began with going to church. Since Pastor Jayson has been on sabbatical, we’ve had other pastors and clergy filling in for him. Today Lester gave a good sermon using Psalm 33 which speaks to expressing praise for God in song:

Psalm 33New International Version

Psalm 33

¹Sing joyfully to the Lord, you righteous;
    it is fitting for the upright to praise him.
²Praise the Lord with the harp;
    make music to him on the ten-stringed lyre.
³Sing to him a new song;
    play skillfully, and shout for joy.

⁴For the word of the Lord is right and true;
he is faithful in all he does.
⁵The Lord loves righteousness and justice;
the earth is full of his unfailing love.

⁶By the word of the Lord the heavens were made,
    their starry host by the breath of his mouth.
⁷He gathers the waters of the sea into jars^[a];
    he puts the deep into storehouses.
⁸Let all the earth fear the Lord;
    let all the people of the world revere him.
⁹For he spoke, and it came to be;
    he commanded, and it stood firm.

¹⁰The Lord foils the plans of the nations;
he thwarts the purposes of the peoples.
¹¹But the plans of the Lord stand firmforever,
the purposes of his heart through all generations.

¹²Blessed is the nation whose God is the Lord,
    the people he chose for his inheritance.
¹³From heaven the Lord looks down
    and sees all mankind;
¹⁴from his dwelling place he watches
    all who live on earth—
¹⁵he who forms the hearts of all,
    who considers everything they do.

¹⁶No king is saved by the size of his army;
    no warrior escapes by his great strength.
¹⁷A horse is a vain hope for deliverance;
    despite all its great strength it cannot save.
¹⁸But the eyes of the Lord are on those who fear him,
    on those whose hope is in his unfailing love,
¹⁹to deliver them from death
    and keep them alive in famine.

²⁰We wait in hope for the Lord;
he is our help and our shield.
²¹In him our hearts rejoice,
for we trust in his holy name.
²²May your unfailing love be with us, Lord,
even as we put our hope in you.

Although I love nearly all kinds of music the kind I favor is electronica in the style of Depeche Mode. I grew up in the 80’s and a lot of the music back then had synthesizers used in it. I’m always looking for new music and it tends to be digital in nature.

8 May 2023 Wisdom of Elders

May 8, 2023 by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Home, human rights, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you. It’s a sunny but windy and cool day here as I write to you.

Yesterday I was wrote about the heart and it’s role in my life versus what I’m being taught through Christianity. Both my Aunt and Uncle read it and gave me feedback. My Uncle had some specific wisdom about it. He said you are meant to use your brain and your heart when you are facing something but in doing so you need to turn to what Gods word says you should do not just rely on your own thoughts and feelings. I will say that for pretty much any question I’ve had about life, I’ve been able to find an answer in the Bible. I’m grateful to have people like them to talk about matters of the spirit. Talking about spirituality is one of my favorite things.

As I’m always saying, “ balance in all things” – getting out of my own head and heart is often a pathway being made for clarity. When I get out of my own way, the Holy Spirit can move. I take things so personally – I have to remember everything isn’t about me! I can be so selfish.

1 Timothy 5:17-21New International Version

¹⁷The elders who direct the affairs of the church well are worthy of double honor, especially those whose work is preaching and teaching.¹⁸For Scripture says, “Do not muzzle an ox while it is treading out the grain,”^[a] and “The worker deserves his wages.”^[b] ¹⁹Do not entertain an accusation against an elder unless it is brought by two or three witnesses. ²⁰But those elders who are sinning you are to reprovebefore everyone, so that the others may take warning. ²¹I charge you, in the sight of God and Christ Jesus and the elect angels, to keep these instructions without partiality, and to do nothing out of favoritism.

Job 12:12New International Version

¹²Is not wisdom found among the aged?
Does not long life bring understanding?

My Elders, friends and earth angels Uncle John and Aunt Ruth

23 April 2023 Social Media

April 23, 2023April 23, 2023 by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Social media, Spirituality and Religion, trust, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

How do you use social media?

Hello to you. How are you today? I’m doing ok – just back from church, eating part of my traditional Subway sandwich and walk with Link. It was starting to sprinkle while we were out.

Todays prompt is a good one. I use a lot of social media platforms to connect with the world. Some of the ones I use are WordPress, Facebook, Twitch, Tik Tok, Discord, Messenger and Clapper for examples. Using these helps me not feel so lonely but they can’t take the place of real life connections with people. That’s why going for walks and seeing some of my neighbors and going to church are so important. Today I got to hug one of my friends I made through church and see her beautiful baby girl!

I am grateful to have family living nearby and I cherish the time we get to spend together. All of those real life moments are so important. I love it when my Aunt and or Uncle or cousins will ask if I want to get out of the house and they come over and we go for coffee, breakfast, lunch or ice cream. Sometimes my Aunt invites me over for a meal and we watch a show together. All the social media I mentioned and those I didn’t can’t take the place of making memories with loved ones. Fellowship with those we care about and love is powerful:

Acts 2:42-47New International Version

The Fellowship of the Believers

⁴²They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. ⁴³Everyone was filled with awe at the many wonders and signs performed by the apostles. ⁴⁴All the believers were together and had everything in common.⁴⁵They sold property and possessions to give to anyone who had need. ⁴⁶Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts.They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts,⁴⁷praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their numbers daily those who were being saved.

Picture I took when my Aunt and Uncle came and got me out of Orofino, the hospital, last November. My Aunt and Uncle are more than just family – they are earth angels – they are dear friends that don’t hesitate to help me when I ask (and when I don’t.) They passed this on to my cousins who are much the same. I’m so grateful.

7 April 2023 Hyper Aware and Good Friday

April 7, 2023 by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Health, human rights, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you. Hope this finds you well. This morning I am feeling hyper aware of my body. It’s uncomfortable but passing thank goodness. When this happens I feel uncomfortable in my body – it’s like all my senses are raw nerves. I took 10mg of Zyprexa and it seems to be helping.

Today is Good Friday – I plan on attending my church’s service this evening. I have never really understood why they call it Good Friday considering what is being celebrated. I don’t think it was a very good day to be Jesus Christ! To be beaten and crucified is a pretty horrible thing. It’s for this reason, and I know all the reasons, I hate crosses. I feel like crosses are as anti-Christ as it gets. Like I said I’ve heard all the justifications as to why he had to die like he did but I still think it’s horrible and cruel. I can remember seeing The Passion of The Christ in the theater with my first husband and we both had nightmares afterwards! It was worse than a horror flick to see that kind of brutality and bloodshed. I know I’m supposed to be grateful that Jesus went through what he did and I am. I just don’t agree on the “good” part. Even with what he went through, this world is full of brokenness and feels ungrateful. I have heard all the reasons for that too! Anyhew – I’m learning and hope there will be another Bible study at some point. I learned a lot during the one I just finished.

30 March 2023 Understanding

March 30, 2023 by saymber, posted in animals, Bipolar life, Health, history, Home, human rights, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

What’s something most people don’t understand?

Mental healths connection to spiritual health.

It’s important to attain balance in all things. Too much of anything can offset balance. I think it’s possible to be over religious and as in my case that can create imbalance. I think you need a healthy spiritual life to have a healthy mental life. I believe there is a void in each of us that only things of the spirit – of God- can fill. I believe there is definitely a connection – at least for me, can’t speak for everyone.

This past hospitalization to a mental hospital occurred because I was tired of waiting for Jesus’s second coming. I got too much into religion. I took it upon myself to initiate it and ended up getting tased by the police and sent to a hospital! The spirit world was talking through me and I enjoyed it but it messed up my mental health. It took over again like what happened in Texas a couple of times. The anxiety attacks were the worst part.

Thankfully I have loving family that have a balanced spiritual and mental life that are there for me. I don’t know if I would have made it in Texas if my Idaho family hadn’t been there for me. My cousins wife confided in me recently that before she and my cousin came and got Link and I, the prepared themselves spiritually as it seemed like other spiritual forces were at work with me. They put on their holy armor!

I think a lot of people try to get through life without a healthy balance of belief in God and self. There are things that nothing of this tangible world can fix. My ex and I learned this especially when we had to let our dog Sam go to the rainbow bridge. There was nothing that could fill the void his passing left inside of us. It was like losing a child! Even as much as Link’s arrival helped, only Gods unconditional love has really filled the void. Sam’s love and behavior towards us was like I imagine Gods love to be – unconditional. Our pets teach us so much that can’t be taught, and learned, any other way.

16 December 2022 Asking for Help

December 16, 2022 by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Health, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you. How are you today? Today my thoughts turn to something that has never been easy for me to do and that is asking for help. I’ve always been self reliant and independent but since I’ve moved here to Idaho and the health issues that have cropped up I have been having to ask for help and thanks be to God it’s been there!

What is it that keeps us from wanting to ask for help? Pride? Fear of making debts we may not be able to repay? Lately I’ve been asking Jesus for his help a lot. I’m hoping for some miracle that only he can deliver in regards to my health. May be that’s why I’m going through this at all – so that I might get closer to him. Not try and rely on my own strength and understanding. That’s what it seems like anyways.

I’m grateful for my family here helping me get through what I’m going through. They are extensions of Jesus in my life.

20 November 2022 Not giving up the faith

November 20, 2022 by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Health, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, trust, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you. How are you today? Today my message has to do with reconciling what happened to me during my episode and not giving up my faith about it. When the police tazzed me like they did I screamed out for Jesus to come and help me but he didn’t come. I ended up in the hospital again. Is that what the answer was? Working through other people to help me? This is what a lot of people have said to me. I have had a crisis of faith but realize without Jesus and his people I am so alone.

I am not giving up on my faith. May be in all that is happening is a humbling I needed – to realize I can’t do this life alone and have to ask for help.

28 July 2022 A Personal Relationship

July 27, 2022 by saymber, posted in Animal Rights, animals, Art and Poetry, Bipolar life, books, drawing, dreams, Exploring numeric value of words in English language, Food, Health, history, Home, human rights, In the News, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Michael's Burleson TX, Money, Movies, Music, Native American Culture, Nature, photography, Politics and Government, Science (Keshe Foundation and other innovations), Short stories, Social media, space, Spirituality and Religion, technology, Television, trust, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

For a long time , most of my life, I have loved God. As I have matured and learned so much about matters of organic energy and matters of the spirit I have learned through personal experience how important it is to have s personal relationship. A relationship no one outside of myself can define. No book or written word. Sometimes just the sound of aspen leaves blowing in the wind. Always present. Recently I made a choice I had been straddling the fence about for many years. I decided to surrender my soul to Jesus Christ….not in the book but the one I have come to know through a personal relationship. In the sky, God and the Earth my mother…our shared mother and once they made a son. I don’t believe he left such is not the way of this system as I understand it. Too many words. Human beings trying to make sense of things as they had understanding at the time. Words of the time that have changed in ours. So many translations. So many individual perceptions. We are in the one circle. Sometimes mythology is our only comfort in times of great loss and confusion.

“Two halves of one whole.”

https://youtu.be/xFtgj2m_Mk4 – Control Mind in a box

30 June 2022 Do You Mean Your Words?

June 30, 2022 by saymber, posted in Animal Rights, animals, Food, Health, history, Home, human rights, In the News, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Money, Music, Nature, photography, Politics and Government, Science (Keshe Foundation and other innovations), Social media, Spirituality and Religion, technology, Television, trust, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you today. How are you? I hope you are well and if your not, believe me your not alone.

This morning I got to thinking about a phrase I hear a lot, “Our thoughts and prayers are with you.” If so many thoughts and prayers are happening why does it seem like so little meaningful change has occurred? What came to me is if there is no conviction and intent on action behind the thoughts…the prayers…. so nothing changes. A lot of us say we care but are still firmly entrenched in our own way of things. Our thoughts remaining true to our own perception and desires and prayers empty rhetoric we are “expected” to say when tragedy befalls us, no matter what it is. Many sorry something bad is happening but unless it directly affects them – no intention of taking action to change. I’m not innocent in this but I am aware of my character defects and trying to follow up thoughts and prayers…words, with action. God provides but will not do it all for us – that’s in part why WE are here! Even doing just one small thing, starting today, can change the world. Open the eyes God placed in our hearts not just the ones in your head.

Matthew 5:8New International Version

⁸Blessed are the pure in heart,^(A)
for they will see God.^(B)

As I look back over my journey thus far and look at the landscape of the world, one of the biggest obstacles seems to be money. For what we need to happen and as fast as it needs to happen, what seems to be in the way is funds. I keep reading and hearing, “it costs too much.” An idea that came to mind was “blank check.” What would happen if we collaborated via teams of our best representing all the different crisis areas and said, all accountabilities in place, “do whatever it takes to fix this, we’ll get you whatever you need.” How fast could people like Boyan Slat from Ocean Cleanup get things done if the obstacle of financing was removed?

https://youtu.be/AehMBw86jBs – Peace Love and Understanding APC

https://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/perfectcircle/whatssofunnyboutpeaceloveandunderstanding.html

“(What’s So Funny ‘Bout) Peace Love And Understanding”

As I walk on through this wicked world
Searching for light in the darkness of insanity
I ask myself, “Is all hope lost?”
Is there only pain, and hatred, and misery?

And each time I feel like this inside
There’s one thing I wanna know
What’s so funny ’bout peace, love, and understanding?
What’s so funny ’bout peace, love, and understanding?

And as I walked on through troubled times
My spirit gets so downhearted sometimes
So where are the strong?
And who are the trusted?
And where is the harmony?
Sweet harmony

‘Cause each time I feel it slipping away, just makes me wanna cry
What’s so funny ’bout peace, love, and understanding?
What’s so funny ’bout peace, love, and understanding?

So where are the strong?
And who are the trusted?
And where is the harmony?
Sweet harmony

‘Cause each time I feel it slipping away, just makes me wanna cry
What’s so funny ’bout peace, love, and understanding?
What’s so funny ’bout peace, love, and understanding?
What’s so funny ’bout peace, love, and understanding?