Tag: Bipolar life

7 Oct 2025 The Answer

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Health, history, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Social media, Spirituality and Religion, Writing and blogging

Hello to you. I’m just back from a beautiful walk. The weather is just perfect! It felt good to walk off the lunch I had with Ruth and John at Burger King after Bible study. They are getting a new roof put on today. When I left them it looked like it was nearly done! Looked good!

Well my prayers were answered regarding yesterdays quandry about whether or not I should share my story here online. The answer from my family and Bible study was a resounding no. It’s just not safe or in my best interest to share so much personal information about myself online. I have already shared bits and pieces in previous blogs if people are curious about my journey. I think what happened when I got baptized was I had some layers of me stripped away. It really was a profound experience that is going to be with me for the rest of my life! It’s like being reborn in a way.

What’s interesting to note is how quickly Jesus answered my question of what to do. I have only been praying and my family has been praying about it for a couple of days. He used the people that love and care for me to give me my answer quickly. I truly believe from experience that believers are the bodies God uses to do his will. I also think the quick answer was to protect me and also give my Aunt Ruth peace of mind. She was really worried about me.

If it is only going to be like a journal it’s not handwritten- it’s on my phone using the notes application. My Aunt and I were trying to figure out if I should print it out or not. She thinks it should only be family that reads it. She is worried other people that aren’t family might treat me differently if they read it. I will continue to talk to Jesus about it as long as it’s on my mind.

Psalm 91:11New International Version

11 For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways;

Baptism- Symbol of New Life (Romans 6:3-4): Paul explains that being baptized into Christ means being united with him in his death and resurrection, so that, “just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, we too might walk in newness of life”. 

6 Oct 2025 Safety in Sharing

by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, history, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

Hello to you. I’m just back from a cool walk around the block. It’s really starting to feel and look like fall. Yesterday my Aunt and Uncle had me over for some cozy beef stew and a new episode of one of our favorite Britbox shows Sister Boniface. It was kind of sad as it seems like the show may be ending by how the episode ended.

The topic today is because I have finally, after many years, started putting to words my experiences as a Bipolar person. Specifically what has happened to me through manic episodes. I had started on it a year ago and picked it back up yesterday. It was like my brain just was dumping all kinds of memories. I could probably write a book there is so much! Anyhew I was talking about this thing I’m doing with my dear friend Tawna and she was wondering what I was going to do with it. I said I wanted to share it in my blog and she expressed concern. She suggested that may be I should get an impartial party to read it first – for safety’s sake. I just don’t know who. She suggested somebody like my Pastor Jason but he’s already got so much on his plate! What I need is an editor to read it and get it streamlined. I will continue to pray about it. I will say putting together all these things really stirred me up. Once I got started everything came back. I keep thinking that what I’ve been through wasn’t for no reason. I’ve been through so much these 57 years. It’s been about 23 years of those 57 of being Bipolar. Maybe sharing my story will help someone? How much is too much to share on social media? Your feedback is welcomed.

Matthew 24:27-31 (NIV):

“For the Son of Man will come with the glory of his Father in the company of his angels, and then he will reward everyone according to what they have done… “Then will appear the sign of the Son of Man in heaven. And then all the peoples of the earth will mourn when they see the Son of Man coming on the clouds of heaven, with power and great glory”. 

    21 Sept 2025 Strength in Weakness

    by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, history, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Writing and blogging

    Hello to you. I’m just home from church – today marks our 9th year anniversary as a church. The church has grown so much from even when I started coming. I sat with my friend Jeannie and her brother-in-law Roy who was having trouble getting around today. Pastor Keith Waggoner from the Nampa campus we came from gave a great sermon. Today’s message really resonated with me:

    2 Corinthians 12:7-10New International Version

    7 or because of these surpassingly great revelations.Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. 8 Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. 9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 10 That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

    I have been praying for God to heal me from what ails me for several years now and he has not moved. I believe that what is happening to me is similar to what Paul was talking about. If I was in perfect health I might not turn to God like I do. I might become conceited. God has walked with me through a lot – being bipolar, balance issues and chronic back pain. When I was in AA many years ago, he delivered me from alcoholism, chronic skin picking, smoking and bulemia. I have been through a lot in this life and God has been there every step of the way. Just because he hasn’t healed me completely doesn’t mean he’s absent. He has a plan!

    Next Sunday I am being baptized. They have asked me to give a testimonial so I will work on that this week! God is moving in my life!

    17 Sept 2025 Diana

    by saymber, posted in Uncategorized

    Hello to you. I hope you are well in spite of everything going on in the news these days! I had a really neat dream last night of Princess Diana. I was taking pictures of her and they were never seen before images of her. She looked so beautiful! One of the outfits she was wearing as she stepped out of a car was a lavender purple outfit. Her eyes were so incredibly blue as she looked at me and my old school camera. The dream went from that to people who were trying to look like her but weren’t even close to being as beautiful as she was. I have always had a soft spot for her! I watched her get married and watched her funeral. I really mourned her passing for a long time. I even signed a digital book for William and Harry sending them my condolences. I have dreamt of her a couple times since her death. She was a kindred soul! The world needs more people like her right now.

    I found this picture searching the internet and it’s pretty close to what she was wearing in the dream

    Princess Diana’s famous quotes reveal her humanitarian spirit, love for her sons, and unique approach to royal life, including phrases like “I lead from the heart, not the head,” “Family is the most important thing in the world,” “Hugs can do great amounts of good,” and her wish to be “a queen in people’s hearts”. 

    Here are some of her most notable quotes:

    On Kindness and Humanity

    • “Anywhere I see suffering, that is where I want to be, doing what I can”.
    • “The biggest disease in this day and age is that of people feeling unloved”.
    • “Hugs can do great amounts of good – especially for children”.
    • “Carry out a random act of kindness, with no expectation of reward, safe in the knowledge that one day someone might do the same for you”. 

    12 Sept 2025 Turning To God

    by saymber, posted in Animal Rights, animals, Bipolar life, history, Home, human rights, In the News, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Politics and Government, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs

    Hello to you. As I write to you tonight, I have a heavy heart. With the recent murders of Charlie Kirk and Iryna Zarutska and so many others that don’t make the headlines, it’s just a really sad time for America. It feels like every day we are being fed negative news. We can’t catch our collective breath! What I’m having to do is turn to God and pray for our country…for this world. I want to use my words here to lift up the spirits of those who intentionally or unintentionally visit my blog.

    I would ask you reader what are you grateful for today? I am grateful for the savior who unconditionally loves me. When everything is dark there is light in Jesus and giving thanks. What we focus on the most gains the most power. I want to focus my personal power on the good in this world even though that is so hard to do right now.

    My prayer for today:

    Dear Jesus the people of this world need to know you now more than ever. I pray that those who are casting about and are lost will be lead to your loving and merciful light. I pray for the truth of what you taught us how to love one another, your creations and you would take center stage. I pray especially for the children that are the innocent in the affairs of adults. They should be able to go to churches and schools free from fear. I also pray for all animals that you would intercede for those being needlessly abused and neglected. Thank you holy father!

    Mark 10:13-16New International Version

    The Little Children and Jesus

    13 People were bringing little children to Jesus for him to place his hands on them, but the disciples rebuked them. 14 When Jesus saw this, he was indignant. He said to them, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. 15 Truly I tell you, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.” 16 And he took the children in his arms,placed his hands on them and blessed them.

    11 Sept 2025 Never Forget

    by saymber, posted in Health, history, Home, human rights, In the News, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs

    Hello to you. Today is the 24th year anniversary of 9/11/01 and I still can remember how surreal that day was. I was stationed at Peterson AFB in Colorado Springs and we were in the middle of a base exercise. I was sleeping when I got a call alerting me to what had happened. I turned on the tv and couldn’t believe what I was seeing! It looked like something from a movie not real life. When I went into work we kept the lights low and I can remember how shocked everybody was. It was like the world had ended! We huddled around eachother, cried and talked in hushed tones. Security was increased and we took turns on 12 hour shifts guarding our buildings. I can remember relearning how to knit during my shifts and making a blue blanket. Do you remember where you were?

    I think, like many people did, that such a disaster would pull people together. For a time it did but gradually things went back to “normal.” It’s a little like what happened with Covid in 2020 – our country is still reeling in so many ways from that. The normal we seek has many people my age longing for the 80’s! The time before all the technology of today. Simpler and happier times.

    The story of the Tower of Babel makes me think of 9/11:

    Genesis 11:1-8New International Version

    The Tower of Babel

    11 Now the whole world had one language and a common speech. 2 As people moved eastward,[a] they found a plain in Shinar[b] and settled there.

    3 They said to each other, “Come, let’s make bricksand bake them thoroughly.” They used brick instead of stone, and tar for mortar. 4 Then they said, “Come, let us build ourselves a city, with a tower that reaches to the heavens, so that we may make a name for ourselves; otherwise we will be scattered over the face of the whole earth.”

    5 But the Lord came down to see the city and the tower the people were building. 6 The Lord said, “If as one people speaking the same language they have begun to do this, then nothing they plan to do will be impossible for them. 7 Come, let us go down and confuse their language so they will not understand each other.”

    8 So the Lord scattered them from there over all the earth, and they stopped building the city. 9 That is why it was called Babel[c]—because there the Lordconfused the language of the whole world. From there the Lord scattered them over the face of the whole earth.

    10 Sept 2025 The Abyss

    by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, history, In the News, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

    Hello there! How are you? I hope this finds you well. The back pain is back but I’m trying not to focus on it! I appreciate your prayers!

    Last night I had a good telephone call with a friend and we talked about something I haven’t talked about here for awhile. It was about the abyss that exists in all of us that we often unsuccessfully try to fill with worldly things. When I was an alcoholic, I used alcohol to try and fill myself up. When I was a fan girl for a musician or actor I filled myself up with their music and films. It was all so fleeting! It was an obsession.

    Millions of people are rabid fans of people like Yungblud, Lady Gaga, Ozzie Osbourne, and Taylor Swift. Back in the day for me it was Prince, David Bowie, Benedict Cumberbatch and Jonathan Rhys Meyers. I drew their images and followed everything they did. There works temporarily filled the void inside me. When David and Prince died it left a huge void in me and was part of one of my manic episodes. Davids music got me through so many hard times especially my teens. It was a couple years ago that I realized my fandom was akin to idol worship and I pulled the plug on all of it. There is only one king worthy of worship! Once I completely surrendered to Jesus nothing else mattered. I realized these celebrities were almost acting like they were Gods – trying to be immortal , omnipresent and making a lot of money off of their worshippers! They are famous because we give them our time and lots of money. So many young people worship these performers and when times get tough they fall back on worshipping these celebrities instead of God. The celebrities are tangible to them whereas God doesn’t seem to be.

    Only one thing fits into the void inside of me and that is God….things of the Spirit. I’ve known this for quite some time but I wandered off several times. As human beings we want a tangible “Jesus”. Like with The Chosens Jonathan Roumies Jesus. He is currently bringing a tangible Jesus to us. It’s tempting to fall into the idol trap. No matter how many times he emphasizes that he’s an actor portraying Jesus there will be those who think he’s the second coming! It must be so hard to be him right now in a world that so wants and needs Jesus to return.

    Since I have put Jesus in the abyss that is inside me I know that I am never completely alone. I can talk to him anytime. A tangible Jesus lives and breathes through the people he has surrounded me with. My family and friends are the body of Jesus in my life.

    Exodus 20:3-6New International Version

    3 “You shall have no other gods before[a] me.

    4 “You shall not make for yourself an image in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below. 5 You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God,punishing the children for the sin of the parents to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me, 6 but showing love to a thousand generations of those who love me and keep my commandments.

    Matthew 25:34-40New International Version

    34 “Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. 35 For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, 36 I needed clothes and you clothed me,I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’

    37 “Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? 38 When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? 39 When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’

    40 “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’

    8 Sept 2025 Doubts

    by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Health, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs, Writing and blogging

    Hello to you. It’s Monday again and a lot happened today. My back pain is creeping back – I was so hoping to be free of it completely! At least I had a day to know what it’s like not to have pain. I will stay in praise even though I’m disappointed.

    I had a case of the nerves today. A company, Eco Landscaping, that has been coming out and killing weeds on my gravel, all the sudden jacked up their prices on me with no notice. I have tried calling and texting them and have gotten no response. USAA is handling a charge dispute for me about it. I’m really disappointed this happened as it means having to find another company to come out and provide the service.

    The other thing today was I finally called The Cottages here in Middleton about visitation. This is where the doubts come in. The facility is split into two parts. They have the memory care unit where residents are supervised at all times and the other part where residents can come and go as they please. The part we did the Mothers Days baskets this year for was the memory care unit. For the memory care unit visitors are welcome but must be supervised at all times. The more I thought about it I just don’t feel comfortable going by myself to see people that are going to forget I was even there. When I lived in Alvarado Texas my ex and I use to volunteer at the Assisted Living locked ward they had there and some very uncomfortable things happened to us. It wasn’t good for us. With having my own mental health issues, I have to be careful with what I expose myself to. My Aunt, Uncle and cousin were there for me today to riddle things out. They had some suggestions of what I might be able to do. I want to be of service to Jesus but just am not sure how. As I get older, live alone, have physical limitations and am not as confident as I once was when I was married it’s hard to figure it out! May be by my sharing what I’m going through is a way I’m helping? May be writing, something I’ve done for so many years now, is a way to serve God? I appreciate your continued prayers on this!

    James 1:6New International Version

    6 But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt,because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.

    6 Sept 2025 A Day Without Pain

    by saymber, posted in Bipolar life, Health, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Veteran Affairs

    Hello to you. I am writing to you before bed tonight. I couldn’t go to sleep without giving praise for experiencing a day without pain! For the past couple weeks I have been experiencing chronic pain in my back. Today it was completely gone! Knock on wood! I was able to take my evening walk with ease. Thank you to those who have been praying for me. Thank you to Jesus for hearing my pleas! I am planning on calling The Cottages on Monday and if the back pain continues to be gone I should be able bodied for that calling.

    Psalm 30:2New International Version

    2 Lord my God, I called to you for help,
        and you healed me.

    4 Sept 2025 Unchanging and Enough Time

    by saymber, posted in animals, Bipolar life, Health, In the News, Leading Life by Example, Mental Health, Spirituality and Religion, Television, Veteran Affairs

    Hello to you. I hope this finds you well today. My thoughts this evening turn to mortality. To legacy. To being enough in the time I’ve had thus far. I couldn’t sleep the other night and found this from Jonathan Roumie. What I got out of it is it’s not how long we live but how deeply we love in the time we are given:

    https://youtu.be/hStDYAxjjU0?si=lEchlnmBWJ1gK_3s – Jonathan Roumie and Jesus’s answer as to why he only lived to age 33

    Jonathan has a lot of videos up like this on YouTube and I’m gradually getting through them.

    Today was my Thursday prayer group and I was finally able to talk to Pastor Jason about a calling I’ve been having about an assisted living home we have here in town called The Cottages. Ever since we went there for Mothers Day in May I’ve been thinking about the place. The thing that has been holding me back is me – specifically my body. Things going on with my body make it hard for me to want to commit to anything. Explaining this to Jason and Lois today brought me to tears. I am willing to serve God but my body mobility and pain keep holding me back. Both Jason and Lois were supportive of me approaching the place to see if there is a need I can fill. Lois suggested keeping it small – just going once a week to say hello- learn the residents names. My plan is to call them on Monday and see what God has in mind for me. Please pray for me – for healing and heeding Gods call. Thank you! 🙏

    Link will always look like a puppy to me – unchanging. The only thing that he’s showing of his age is the changing mobility in his back legs. He’s my baby boy!