I decided to paint on my last practice shirt today. There is a lot of symbolism wrapped up in the design I came up with. I imagine someone coming up to me while I’m wearing this and just getting lost in what’s going on. That’s my objective is to make art that is a feast for the eyes and helps shield me as an empath.
This is one I am anxious to see in the sunlight
Working on this today helped me deal with having the beginnings of a cold! Darn it! With as little contact as I make with the public I still managed to catch a cold! Ah but this too shall pass!!
“In the light and shadow I see your soul, I see how this life on you has taken its toll. Take a deep breath and try to smile. Push away the troubles for awhile. Another year has begun anew. Fill this moment with cerulean blue.”
Hello friend. How are you doing today? It’s still morning and frosty here as I write 22 degrees! The sun is trying to peak out which helps. I think I have gotten myself a mild cold but I’m not going to focus on it too much. The coffee is soothing my throat.
I pulled out the last blank t- shirt I have and it will be a perfect canvas. As it is right now it looks like bleach might of got on it and something else that couldn’t come out. I can use my art to hide those flaws and enjoy wearing the shirt again. The drawing today is me thinking about what I will draw on the shirt. I’m thinking one of my whisp people with a rainbow ribbon. I did a canvas painting like that once as a commission piece for my therapist a couple of years ago.
Thinking about what to draw and paint today
Looks like I will be alone for New Years Eve and New Years. It’s ok as I’ve never been big on the holiday and if I’m truly sick I don’t want to spread it!
Last night I had a nice Twitch livestream visit with a new follower from Brazil. I keep connecting with young men from overseas. When we get a chance to visit it’s usually way past their bed times! I’m always surprised that they want to talk to me out of all the bazillion channels there are on Twitch. Last night we talked a bit about religion and God. His family is into spiritualism. Apparently his mom tried church and it didn’t work out. I’m still finding my way myself. I like the relationship I have with God. It can be both a simple and complex relationship. As big as the entirety of existence to as small as a grain of sand.
Is there anything beyond this door today?
We talked about Christianity and how you have to be saved…believe in Jesus or you will burn in hell. I always am left thinking how can such a large part of the world with their different belief systems be “wrong?” I looked up the percentages for religions and 31% are Christian while 25% are Muslim 16% are non religious and 15% are Hindu – as of 2020. There were 18 others – I found it using Google.
Something we didn’t talk about was free will. If God is all knowing of everything do we really have it? If there is a divine plan in all things I don’t believe we really have free will. Our path seems to be set before we are even born. Where was God when my Mom decided to take her own life? From what I read of her writings she loved God/Jesus more than anything. Where was God when my Grandpa decided to take his life? He was a loyal servant to God got so many years! Where was God when I attempted to take my life a couple of years ago? I had to remember I was bulemic and save myself – there was nothing and no one to save me but myself! The only thing I can think is God doesn’t interfere. He knew what I would do before I did it? He knew I would live to tell the tale may be to save someone else from doing the same thing? Much of my life has been like that. I make “mistakes” and share about it afterwards to help others. Is that part of why I still exist?
The question is still there and may be there is scripture or some kind of answer somewhere – Where is God when it comes to suicide?! According to my Catholic education suicide gets you put into purgatory and you can’t even have a church funeral.
Is Suicide the Unforgivable Sin? Understanding Suicide, Stigma, and Salvation through Two Christian Perspectives
by John Potter
Are there really that many lost souls? According to this paper 703,000 people a year?!! Where is God in all of that? Are all these people lost? There is no one living that truly answer that question not even the Pope!
I hope something here was helpful. If you or if you have someone in your life that is suicidal I hope you have a support system. I hope you have a relationship with a higher power. I hope you will choose life. I know it’s a struggle some days but you are not a mistake!
It’s kind of hard to see it but it’s supposed to be a snow Angel! Boy is it harder to get down and get back up !
Hello to you. How has your day been? Today for me was mostly about rearranging snow. We sure got a lot of it. I decided to play a bit and made a snow Angel lol.
Your never too old to play in the snow!
“Who is my family? Who are my friends? Who knows where the road begins….where it ends. This life makes wanderers…..explorers of us all. Starting and returning to a shape very small…curved hand in mouth to a suckling ball.”
Hello. It’s still snowing. I went out and rearranged some of it and as I was I saw a male black and white Boston Terrier standing there. There was nothing I could really do other than report it on the Middleton Matters Group on Facebook. Turns out he was dumped out of a white van – they almost ran over him trying to leave him behind! If I didn’t have Link I would have done more. It reminds me of Alvarado. People used to dump their dogs all the time and Kyle and I would try and help. It doesn’t sound like Middleton has its own dedicated Animal Control Officer like Alvarado did.
I like spirals and imagining light at their center.
The shirt today is a little messier than yesterday. I like spirals of multiple colors. These designs are meant to be like large amulets that someone approaching you would look at instead of focusing so much on you. The idea is to make interactions with other people less draining . The designs are a distraction from the eyes. I will let this dry and see if I want to add more colors!
I’ve been writing more lately because it’s very therapeutic for me. It helps me feel less alone….especially on a day like today when I’m not going anywhere.
Just back from getting Link and myself around the block. It’s only 26 degrees out yet! I wasn’t sure if we would go. Cabin fever won out!
Today I asked God for their company as I was having trouble being alone. I’m grateful for Link but he doesn’t speak human! Well the first thing we did was venture into the dreaded spare room aka storage room. It’s that time of year to get ready for 2022 by clearing out old files. With everything that has been going on to largely include avoidance, I was a couple years behind. There is still more to do in there but I at least got a start. God was definitely with me on doing that!
What came next was a lot more fun. We decided to paint another shirt. What we have come up with so far has a real tie-dyed feel to it. I have to let things dry to see if I want to add more paint.
I enjoyed seeing bright colors today
Painting is very therapeutic but as I’ve mentioned before, the process goes so fast. Once I get started it’s already over! The same goes for when I draw something. As soon as the pen hits the paper I’m committed. No erasing…..Tadaaaaa!! Everything is a co-creation with God when it comes to my arts and crafts. When I overthink things is when I get something even a dumpster diver wouldn’t want. I have an attempt at painting Link that is horrible but I can’t bring myself to throw it out just yet. It doesn’t look like him at all!
Poor Link! This is one of my sad attempts at painting !
There is a process to the craft of painting – rules – and I’m terrible about following them. Soooo it’s better for me to do shapes and abstract concepts. I used to spend hours pencil drawing portraits but I find I just don’t have the patience for it now. We just change through time and so do our arts and crafts. As we age our vision and coordination changes making it so doing what we always did a little more difficult.
Anyhew…..thank you as always for taking time for me!
Hello to you. How are you? Hopefully staying warm! It’s a balmy 22 degrees here as I write to you. Winter is definitely here. I’m so grateful Link and I have a warm shelter. Even as we near 2022 there are people without affordable housing.
So I rousted myself with some Heilung and my little drum this morning. My little drum circle idea rose and fell this year. It’s ok. I don’t regret buying the drum. It gets lots of use.
“Primal beat of my drum and ancient calling, steam rises from my coffee…snow is falling. A warm hearth and home within my heart can be found. An echo of the beginning sound.”
As I sit here this morning I wonder where we are heading in this world. Where am I heading. Things are doing things…..I keep trying to stand still in time but it doesn’t work that way. How do I graciously embrace the inevitable? Lately I’ve been feeling like my mind is in an in between place. When I feel this way I don’t get to just live my life and move forward with it. It’s been a long time since I’ve been in the flow….that stream of existence where time doesn’t matter. Your doing what God put you here to do and that’s all you want to do! All you want to do is be in that “sweet spot” with God.
Sometimes when I’m writing I get the place I desire to be. It’s warm and safe. The words just flow and I don’t want it to end but it always does. I had these sort of feelings when I would sit outside in Texas and draw with chalk. I would sit outside for hours and just draw. I felt such a direct connection with God. What was nice is my drawings lasted until the rains came. Then I would have a fresh canvas. I used to draw spaceships that sailed off with the rains. Where I live now I don’t have a slab in the backyard to draw on. I just have a driveway in the front yard and I’m a little self conscious about doing my drawings there.
I believe God isn’t done with me yet. There is a reason I still exist. I have to remind myself that the reason(s) aren’t always big ones. One of my favorite Saints is Therese of Lisieux: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Th%C3%A9r%C3%A8se_of_Lisieux and the reason is because of how she believed in serving God in little ways. Every time I smell roses I think of her. We each have a part in Gods play. Some are major parts and some are very small but they are all important. Sometimes we are destined to live the little way and have to find peace with that.
Hello to you. How has your day been? It’s evening and dark as I write to you. If it weren’t so early I’d be off to bed already!
“Dark blanket pulled down on the day, another curtain call on the the Lords play. All the characters in various garb nestle in each their beds, fanciful dreams running through their heads. The world and all its mystery resets the stage, the book of life writes another page. “
My creativity seems to ebb and flow. I have kind of stalled on the shirt painting for now. My friend was talking about having me do a shirt for her. She had a design in mind so we will see what comes of that! The shirts I’ve painted have had their first wash and a couple of them kind of had a problem with sticking together. So they probably need to be washed in cold water.
Anyhew thank you for keeping me company. I hope someday loneliness will be a thing of my past! It’s so nice to have this place to be.
Hello friend. How has your day been? Have you been doing holiday stuff today or have you been out of it like me? Evening skies have settled in to put our neck of the woods to bed. I’m listening to violin music by Twitch streamer newbaroque. Nick plays music by request and is just a real sweetheart. His dog Taco is quite the little celebrity!
I wasn’t sure I was going to paint a shirt today but I did. I’m not sure if I should do more to it. Sometimes less is more when it comes to shirts. What do you think? The paint flow is a bit uneven on the circles but not much I can do about that.
Shirt # 4 today kind of played it safe and simple with this one. We will see how I feel about it in the morning!
“Evening skies shades of pale pink purple and blue always make me think of you. There was a time when we stood together gazing at such a sight. I would always forget my camera and you would gently say to me, “It’s just for us.”
Hello to you. It’s evening again and I’m all by my lonesome with Link. Thank God for Link. I am so grateful for you readers that come and keep me company too – each of you are a blessing to me! You help me not feel so alone in this world. I hope my visits to your blogs do the same for you. This community is so special.
So we are on the 3rd shirt. I wasn’t sure if I was going to do the complete Metatrons cube because I liked it without the extra lines. We will see how I feel about it in the morning. It’s an experiment.
3rd shirt- I like it just as it is but we shall see how I feel about it in the morning
I streamed today on Twitch and had one viewer but they didn’t say anything. In the back of my mind I’m hoping whomever is watching enjoys my company – might be home bound or something. That’s my hope anyway. I have a couple followers that I don’t know who they are. I’m thinking it’s one of them because they pop up shortly after I get on. My hope when I stream is in some way I’m helping not only myself. It would make me so happy to think my taking time to focus on the sun and sky could cheer up a person unable to get out and see/experience those things!
I was listening to a more popular affiliated streamers named Barnacles today. Apparently it’s kind of a dirty business once you start getting sponsorship. I don’t see myself ever getting to that point. Like I was saying with my crafts and mixing money I think the same would happen if I got a sponsored stream.
Anyhew I hope this finds you doing well whatever and however you are celebrating this time of year! Hugs!
Good evening. I hope this finds you well. Tonight my fabric paint arrived so I decided to give it a go and paint a shirt. The result wasn’t too bad but I learned some things for the next one. I did the Metatrons Cube and next time instead of drawing out the whole design I’ll start by drawing and painting the circles first.
I went conservative with the colors for this first one. I used silver, gold, bronze and some neon yellow. I also used some gold glitter. The paints I chose – so far real pleased with the quality of the paint. It came out real smooth. Since I freehand when I paint it’s not perfect and I like that. Each rendering is unique like an individual
I was so excited about this. I could feel myself being in the flow of things so it was a good idea to just stop second guessing myself and buy the paints. May be by the time I run out of old shirts to paint on I’ll be better at it!
To be 