Hello to you. It’s early afternoon as I write to you after my therapy session through the VA. I am blessed to have a really good therapist. Today we talked about how my physical symptoms affect my life. She came up with something that resonated with me. She said imagine you are hosting a party and your neighbor Joe shows up. He isn’t the most pleasant smelling or behaving person. He is the uninvited guest that you have to keep tabs on the whole party so he doesn’t ruin it. She likened what’s going on with my head and lower back pain to Joe. If I focus on these things like I would focus on Joe, the party will always be ruined for me. I have to find a way to not let these thorns to my life stop me from living my best life.
Are you struggling with some kind of physical and or mental condition that won’t go away? What will you do with your Joe?! As for me, I’m seriously considering whether Joe ever gets invited in the first place! 😂
Oh how I wish Jesus would heal me and all those I do and do not know! It must have been amazing to be healed by him:
Matthew 4:23New International Version
Jesus Heals the Sick
23 Jesus went throughout Galilee, teaching in their synagogues, proclaiming the good news of the kingdom, and healing every disease and sickness among the people.
Drawing I did of my birth mom Jeannie many years ago
Hello to you. I’m back from appointment with the VA. Apparently every 6 months or so they are supposed to make sure I’m not having adverse physical effects from one of the medications I’m taking – Olanzapine. Everything checked out good. Apparently if you have adverse effects you can have involuntary body movements that make you look like you have Parkinson’s Disease! It’s called Tardive Dyskinesia: Uncontrolled or unusual muscle movements, especially of the face, tongue, arms, or legs. This can be permanent in some cases.
Sorting gifts
This morning I went to the ladies coffee at Grace House. We helped sort and label Christmas gifts for a few families. When I went I didn’t know that’s what we were doing. My back wasn’t happy but I was still able to help. I can’t imagine doing all that alone but the past couple of years that’s kind of what happened! It felt good to help even if it was just a little. We have such wonderful ladies at Grace!
Dear Jesus I pray for this world and all its life. There is so much going on! We need you now more than ever. Please wrap us in your loving arms and bring us all peace and healing.
Hello to you. I’m home from spending some quality time with my Aunt and Uncle. I really was feeling like I needed some company today! I went over earlier in the day before it gets dark. I got the one thing I really needed and that was a hug from my Aunt and Uncle! Living alone I don’t get physical contact with humans very often. It’s such a simple thing but means the world to me! I am so grateful to have them in my life.
We watched King of Kings: An animated Christian film from Angel Studios, based on Charles Dickens’ The Life of Our Lord, telling Jesus’ story from the perspective of a young boy and his father. We all thought it was really well done.
My Aunt made spaghetti for dinner and it was really good. She even got me to eat and like cucumbers in my salad! She is one of the few people in my life that can get me to try and like things I normally don’t eat on my own!
1 Timothy 6:13-15New International Version
13 In the sight of God, who gives life to everything, and of Christ Jesus, who while testifying before Pontius Pilate made the good confession, I charge you14 to keep this command without spot or blame until the appearing of our Lord Jesus Christ, 15 which God will bring about in his own time—God, the blessed and only Ruler, the King of kings and Lord of lords,
Hello to you. It’s evening as I write to you. Today was pretty uneventful but I did finally get my butt to the grocery store and Link and I got a big walk (1/2 mile) in today. He’s been willing to go so I take him. I am happy his legs aren’t bothering him right now.
Older picture I have of Link wearing his walking gear
The past couple days I have really had low energy. The thing going on with pressure in my head and ears has been real bad. My back hasn’t been kind either. When that’s all going on I don’t want to do even the most menial of tasks. I am like a water spigot that flows either full blast or barely a dribble! I have seen both an ear and head doctor and neither one found what is causing the stuff in my head and ears. We have prayed about it ever since it started but God hasn’t relieved me of it. This bible verse keeps coming into my mind about what I’m going through and what I need to do:
2 Corinthians 12:9New International Version
9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 10 That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
Hello to you. I hope this finds you well. Recently I received another edition of a free Christian magazine the Middleton SDA Church had ordered for me. The subject is about the Sabbath. It’s interesting to read about the history of the Sabbath. It is the fourth commandment that we keep the Sabbath day holy. With the way our world is it’s not always easy to keep Sunday free from labor! When I was active duty the weekend, Saturday and Sunday, was the only time I had for getting chores done. Since I’ve retired and have been going to church on Sunday, I now try to keep it a day of rest. Do you rest on Sundays?
This magazine is very well done. The company is Amazing Facts International
As promised here is the link to Toby Sloughs sermon this past Sunday:
Hello to you on this cloudy Sunday afternoon. I’m just back from church and breakfast at the Sunrise. I should have gotten groceries but decided to put it off. I really dread grocery shopping!
Today we had a guest speaker named Toby Slough. He is an author of the book Not Yet and a children’s book Toby the Goby. When they post his sermon I’ll share it.
Toby Slough
He spent time in Mark 6:30-42:
Mark 6:30-42New International Version
Jesus Feeds the Five Thousand
30 The apostles gathered around Jesus and reported to him all they had done and taught. 31 Then, because so many people were coming and going that they did not even have a chance to eat, he said to them, “Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.”
32 So they went away by themselves in a boat to a solitary place. 33 But many who saw them leaving recognized them and ran on foot from all the towns and got there ahead of them. 34 When Jesus landed and saw a large crowd, he had compassion on them, because they were like sheep without a shepherd. So he began teaching them many things.
35 By this time it was late in the day, so his disciples came to him. “This is a remote place,” they said, “and it’s already very late. 36 Send the people away so that they can go to the surrounding countryside and villages and buy themselves something to eat.”
37 But he answered, “You give them something to eat.”
They said to him, “That would take more than half a year’s wages[a]! Are we to go and spend that much on bread and give it to them to eat?”
38 “How many loaves do you have?” he asked. “Go and see.”
When they found out, they said, “Five—and two fish.”
39 Then Jesus directed them to have all the people sit down in groups on the green grass. 40 So they sat down in groups of hundreds and fifties. 41 Taking the five loaves and the two fish and looking up to heaven, he gave thanks and broke the loaves. Then he gave them to his disciples to distribute to the people. He also divided the two fish among them all. 42 They all ate and were satisfied,
The message from his speaking that resonated with my current journey was about how pain is not the problem. It’s what pain does to us – it makes us a narcissist- everything becomes about us. The two things I have going on sometimes keeps me trapped inside myself. Just where the enemy wants me! The other message today that spoke to me was about focusing on what we have not what we lack. Pastor Jason has put a goal before the church of raising $30,000 for the charities we support. I have not been tithing for quite some time but am thinking I need to be more generous. I need to stop worrying about not having enough money. I will pray about this issue.
Hello to you. It’s wet and rainy as I write to you. I’m not complaining as we need the water. My handyman Roscor just left after installing my new toilet aka throne as it’s jokingly called. It took him longer than he planned because the first toilet he got from Home Depot was damaged. In times before now the trip back to the store would have taken like 15 minutes instead it took him like 30 minutes! Traffic has gotten so bad in our area. All these people who came here for a better quality of life have essentially ruined what was good about living here. Where you go there you are!
My new throne
Key Scriptures on Change & Transformation
2 Corinthians 5:17: “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!”.
Romans 12:2: “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will”.
Ephesians 4:22-24: “You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by deceitful desires, to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness”.
Colossians 3:10: “and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator”.
2 Corinthians 4:16: “Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day”.
Hello to you. It’s a full moon night here as I write to you. I hope this finds you well. It’s almost bedtime for me but not quite yet!
Today my handyman Roscoe came and did some yard work for me and as always he went above and beyond. He even trimmed back some trees that were growing into my yard without my even having to ask. Roscoe is so nice and is really good at what he does. When he shares his latest jobs on Facebook I am always impressed by the diversity of the projects and hit that like button. On Friday he’s going to replace my toilet and by the way he explained things it should be easy for him. I am so grateful to have found Roscoe – he’s a real renaissance man!
Dear Jesus I give you praise tonight for Roscoe and the work he did for me today. I thank you for guiding me to him. I give you praise that I have the means to hire someone like Roscoe to help me take care of my home. I pray for my family, friends and pets on the other side of the veil, I miss them everyday. I give you thanks for my family, friends and Link that share this life with me here in the land of the living. I pray for those who are lost and need you now more than ever. As always I pray for all animals to have lives free from cruelty and neglect. Amen.
Hello there, how are you as you visit me here? Today was long and kind of lonely but we have pushed through it. To be honest I have been missing having someone to come home to me. Link has me to look forward to coming home. I think of him as home as he rises up on his back legs and frantically taps at the front door waiting for me to come in. I miss my ex everyday but I know that ship has sailed. We were communicating a little bit but if I don’t initiate the communication there is nothing from him. He has moved on and I always hope he’s happier now.
The rest of this post is me reflecting on where I’ve been and where I hope to go:
I miss having a husband but don’t like what you have to go through to get one these days. I tried Tinder and that was a cluster you know what. I ended up with someone who wasn’t good for me and wanted more from me than I could give at the time. I just wasn’t attracted to him and that made him nuts. My taste is what I had in my ex and I totally blew it with my manic episodes! He just got fed up with the person I became when I was in untreated mania.
I always said that if I couldn’t make it work with Kyle I wasn’t going to make it with anyone. He wasn’t a perfect husband but pretty darn wonderful and I blew it. Some say he shouldn’t have divorced me but they don’t understand the spiral that happens with mania. When we were first together he knew I had mental health issues but I was being treated and was on meds that kept the mania at bay. When mania happened the last couple of times I was really doing things that hurt and or upset him. We were breaking things. He got physical with me a couple of times out of extreme frustration and it was after that he went to stay with his parents. When he could see I wasn’t going to get the help I needed he decided a divorce was the only answer. I didn’t take that decision very well! I felt so lost and alone. My everyday was like living in a haunted house. Memories of Kyle were everywhere I went from the house to the neighborhood. I wasn’t plugged in to Jesus yet but thankfully had people who were to talk to. I thank God for my Idaho family who were there for me – praying for me. They are the reason I am where I am today! Jesus used each of them to help me escape the nightmare I was in.
It took me awhile, even after I was out of Texas, to fully recover from the nightmare I was living. My Aunt Ruth and Uncle John handled me with tender care the 6 months I lived with them. I didn’t want to shower with the door shut. I didn’t want to eat meals at the table. I didn’t want to watch television. I walked constantly to combat my anxiety. I had nightmares. I saw versions of Kyle everywhere I went. Everything was a trigger to my thinking of Kyle. We had been married 12 years and I was married 16 years in my first marriage. I had grief and remorse over my first marriage too! Kyle and I committed adultery and I really felt bad about that as did Kyle. I just unraveled after he left me and felt this pulling sensation in the back of my body all the time. It was like the enemy had a hold on me and didn’t want to let go.
It’s been over 5 years now that I’ve been here in Idaho. I am much better than I was. It’s been about 2 years since I decided to accept Jesus as my savior. I finally made the choice that God had been patiently waiting for me to make. With this choice and my saying yes some doors have opened. I have gotten more involved with my church and that has made me some friends. I even got baptized which I didn’t think I would do. Now if he would only heal me from what’s going on in my head and lower back I could be of more use – a better vessel for the Holy Spirit. These conditions have prevented me from volunteering as much as I could be.
The other thing missing is a companion to share the rest of my life with. I have kind of resigned myself to my ending up being alone the rest of my life but I don’t know Gods plans for me about this. If I do fall in love again I want him to share in my love of Jesus and of course Link must approve of whoever he ends up being!
Thank you for reading!
Dear Jesus I pray for this world as fallen as it is that more of the lost will find their way to you. I pray for the poor, sick, mentally and physically in decline. I pray for all leaders in positions of power and influence that your will be done through their words and deeds. I pray for an end to all animal cruelty. I pray for an end to all wars that there would be peace. I pray for all children especially those being abused and or neglected. I pray for the children suffering in war ravaged parts of the world. Thank you. Amen.
For a long time, for most of my adult life, Christmas has been a hard holiday for me. Christmas Eve is the anniversary of when I lost my birth mom to suicide. I was only about 10 months old so I didn’t really get to know her. My Dad and stepmom always tried to make the holidays special and it helped me not dwell on things. My Dad and I would decorate the Christmas tree the day after Thanksgiving. Dad loved Christmas or at least he made a good show of it! I have not decorated for Christmas for several years now and hate the materialism that Christmas often becomes. I live in a tiny home so I don’t like getting stuff to have to find a place for and I don’t like shopping. That is why I like Thanksgiving – the focus is on food and family! Now that I’m living near family with little children to celebrate with, I’m thinking may be my heart will be softened! Kind of like the Grinch story. Our families little ones the Cindy Lou Who’s in my life!
Luke 24 NIV – scripture from Sunday
On the Road to Emmaus
13 Now that same day two of them were going to a village called Emmaus, about seven miles[a] from Jerusalem. 14 They were talking with each other about everything that had happened. 15 As they talked and discussed these things with each other, Jesus himself came up and walked along with them; 16 but they were kept from recognizing him.
17 He asked them, “What are you discussing together as you walk along?”
They stood still, their faces downcast. 18 One of them, named Cleopas, asked him, “Are you the only one visiting Jerusalem who does not know the things that have happened there in these days?”
19 “What things?” he asked.
“About Jesus of Nazareth,” they replied. “He was a prophet, powerful in word and deed before God and all the people. 20 The chief priests and our rulershanded him over to be sentenced to death, and they crucified him; 21 but we had hoped that he was the one who was going to redeem Israel. And what is more, it is the third day since all this took place. 22 In addition, some of our women amazed us. They went to the tomb early this morning 23 but didn’t find his body. They came and told us that they had seen a vision of angels, who said he was alive. 24 Then some of our companions went to the tomb and found it just as the women had said, but they did not see Jesus.”
25 He said to them, “How foolish you are, and how slow to believe all that the prophets have spoken!26 Did not the Messiah have to suffer these things and then enter his glory?” 27 And beginning with Mosesand all the Prophets, he explained to them what was said in all the Scriptures concerning himself.
28 As they approached the village to which they were going, Jesus continued on as if he were going farther.29 But they urged him strongly, “Stay with us, for it is nearly evening; the day is almost over.” So he went in to stay with them.
30 When he was at the table with them, he took bread, gave thanks, broke it and began to give it to them.31 Then their eyes were opened and they recognized him, and he disappeared from their sight. 32 They asked each other, “Were not our hearts burning within us while he talked with us on the road and opened the Scriptures to us?”
33 They got up and returned at once to Jerusalem. There they found the Eleven and those with them, assembled together 34 and saying, “It is true! The Lord has risen and has appeared to Simon.” 35 Then the two told what had happened on the way, and how Jesus was recognized by them when he broke the bread.
Jesus Appears to the Disciples
36 While they were still talking about this, Jesus himself stood among them and said to them, “Peace be with you.”
To be 